1/3/2011 9:52:51 AM |
Need some major advice!! |
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tater79
Springfield, IL
age: 31
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OP.......much of just the two post I read of yours ..don't make any sense......
you're lying about many things it seems...........so I won't bother reading any more of what you have to say
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1/3/2011 9:57:12 AM |
Need some major advice!! |
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beachingirl
Stone Harbor, NJ
age: 52
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Agree Tater...
OP - you definitely need to stop having kids Sounds like you have three too many...........
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1/3/2011 10:55:40 AM |
Need some major advice!! |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 63
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Tater, I tend to agree with you. It seems we are getting more and more young snerts on this site who make up things as they post. FFS, the OP needs to grow up and take back her children!
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1/3/2011 11:17:58 AM |
Need some major advice!! |
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yajusneverkno
Oxford, AL
age: 43
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Boy some of the advice from grown people amazes me You can't kidnap your own child if there is no custody order in place. The police will not get involved because it's a civil matter not criminal.
On the other hand OP, He's at a party with your kids, drugs, and has warrants... Why the F didn't you call the police and inform them of his CRIMINAL activity? When he's arrested for warrants/drugs, the police will be looking for you to give the kids to. They ain't gonna want them.
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1/3/2011 3:53:02 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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la_poupette
Australian Capital
Australia
age: 60
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OP.......much of just the two post I read of yours ..don't make any sense......
you're lying about many things it seems...........so I won't bother reading any more of what you have to say
I agree... there has to be a really good reason why the state did not grant her at least shared custody of the kids. That sure explains a lot in itself.
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1/3/2011 4:09:40 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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stigertails
McKinney, TX
age: 51
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Consant calls to police and state authorities in each state. File papers and contact child protective services in each state. Place constant pressure from every legal resource on him. And if all else fails
Hire a hitman
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1/3/2011 7:32:16 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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pwin_here_n_now
Annapolis, MD
age: 41
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ya... you are wrong and it is state dependent.... but genernally no order - leave state boundaries - one is kiddnapping. Not to mention the bigger point is an order should be in place.
bbbdirty: get off of your butt and do something about it. I have given you several links, and you gotten very solid advice. Stop whinning and start acting! get off of this site - and do what you need to do. I already offered to help you understand the Law.... so far nothing from you.
You Want your kids back? DO Something about it!
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1/3/2011 8:19:34 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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dddirtyred
Culpeper, VA
age: 24
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where the f**k do ya ll get off telln me i aint doing shit about it, you have no idea what i do on a daily basis so back the f**k off cause now yall are just pissn me off!!!
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1/3/2011 9:05:49 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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crystalwren
Palm Bay, FL
age: 41
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please! please! listen to the advice! i know how hard it is, i have been there. i had no money or help either, i didn't drive either. i was on food stamps. your children and you are worth it!!!!! don't ever let anyone tell you different! it seems like an impossible situation right now but you will get through it. this advice i'm going to say will probally piss people off but if you have to lie and take him back do it. be nice, say it's ok, make him feel secure then take the kids and call a womens shelter and go. sometimes lying is the only way. it's not the best solution, but sometimes it's the only option.
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1/3/2011 9:14:32 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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custodialdad
Monroe, WA
age: 49
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You seek custody and child support. Why the hell haven't you?
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1/3/2011 9:17:11 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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ladymistletoe
Millers Creek, NC
age: 49
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Try calling your local DHS office. They will give information to help get your kids back.
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1/3/2011 9:20:26 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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custodialdad
Monroe, WA
age: 49
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Actually, in many cases, DHS (DSHS, CSP, etc.) will try to place your kids in foster care: they get SSA Title IV federal funds for this (and again for adopting them out). There are bonuses for the state if more are placed than the previous year.
What may happen is that he will lose the kids for being unfit, and you for not doing something about it (getting a lawyer and seeking custody).
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1/3/2011 9:33:22 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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dddirtyred
Culpeper, VA
age: 24
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i have alrdy done everything u r telling me to do, i have a court date for the custody of my children, i am seeking a lawyer and help, yall dont seem to understand that the system right now is the only way, ive called the police,dhs, lawyers, everything, and when it happened the last time i had to make him think everything was all good and then take them n now i am just in the same postition again, bc that didnt work.. not only that but yall aint even got the whole story behind the bs, okay, so no of course it wont make sense to any of you.... but dont sit there and tell me i aint doing shit about it bc u are all wrong i doing what i can including findind a job and going to school soo, plus staying on the f**kn phone to do what i can, so on that i done with all this shit!!!!! i got this on my own thanks!!!!!
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1/3/2011 9:37:15 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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volslady
Hendersonville, TN
age: 30
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In my state both parents have equal rights to the kids until the court gets involved I know this because Im going through the same thing just I have the kids and Im waiting to go to court/
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1/3/2011 9:39:48 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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danielle_1_12_8
Pontiac, IL
age: 29
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wow thats a really fukd up situation,but this is how i see from an outsider...everytime u get advice from someone u have an excuse y u cant go get them..girl excuses are like a**holes everybody has one...girl go get those kids..they came out ur v~j~j,and nobody can keep u from them and i mean NOBODY!!! u need to call the police to and tell them they need to do their job..i find it hard to believ that they wont help u...heads would b spinning if that was me..i hope everything works out for u mama
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1/3/2011 9:52:13 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
age: 63
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i have alrdy done everything u r telling me to do, i have a court date for the custody of my children, i am seeking a lawyer and help, yall dont seem to understand that the system right now is the only way, ive called the police,dhs, lawyers, everything, and when it happened the last time i had to make him think everything was all good and then take them n now i am just in the same postition again, bc that didnt work.. not only that but yall aint even got the whole story behind the bs, okay, so no of course it wont make sense to any of you.... but dont sit there and tell me i aint doing shit about it bc u are all wrong i doing what i can including findind a job and going to school soo, plus staying on the f**kn phone to do what i can, so on that i done with all this shit!!!!! i got this on my own thanks!!!!!
Please--there will not be an instant fix to this situation---you need to do what you are doing and try real hard to do the right thing!! Opinions and advice will vary---they are just based on what you tell people. Of course everyone wants a happy outcome to your issues---but the truth is--you have to give this all a lot of time. Good luck.
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1/3/2011 10:00:42 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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yajusneverkno
Oxford, AL
age: 43
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In my state both parents have equal rights to the kids until the court gets involved I know this because Im going through the same thing just I have the kids and Im waiting to go to court/
Something wrong with your husband that would make you want to deprive your kids of a father? A crackhead, pedo, lets them play with loaded guns
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1/3/2011 10:32:23 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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simplemindedguy
Orem, UT
age: 45
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single in CT: May not be a fellony offense in Your State but in Maryland if you have joint legal custody and one of the parents take the children out of State lines with no intent to bring them back to the other parent for visitation/custudy time... It is a federal offense and IS kiddnapping. VA law says the same. And living in Maryland, and having been in the legal field here, and through my own custody battle - I happen to know that VA and MD tend to work very closely with regard to extradition.
In addition, if recall correctly - there is no official judgement or order - which makes for even a st.ronger case of kiddnapping.
The OP needs to get help, and I am hoping she is not squandering her time on the forums defending herself and is investing time on getting some real help. P.Win
P.Win Not to make waves but I hate to burst your knowledge but if neither have a judgement or order showing custody then there's no kiddnapping involved. its a civil problem. JMO
Only thing she can do is contact Child Protective Services and let them know that the child are being subjected to drug use in home and ask police to do a well being check of the children and if you know, what city the children are living, tell the police that he has warrants. dddirtyred Good Luck!
[Edited 1/3/2011 10:38:43 PM ]
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1/3/2011 10:39:57 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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yajusneverkno
Oxford, AL
age: 43
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single in CT: May not be a fellony offense in Your State but in Maryland if you have joint legal custody and one of the parents take the children out of State lines with no intent to bring them back to the other parent for visitation/custudy time... It is a federal offense and IS kiddnapping. VA law says the same. And living in Maryland, and having been in the legal field here, and through my own custody battle - I happen to know that VA and MD tend to work very closely with regard to extradition.
In addition, if recall correctly - there is no official judgement or order - which makes for even a stronger case of kiddnapping.
The OP needs to get help, and I am hoping she is not squandering her time on the forums defending herself and is investing time on getting some real help.
P.Win
Ummm P. how can a federal offense be "state related?" If it's federal, wouldn't it be on a national level?
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1/3/2011 11:11:05 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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sassybabeee
Henrico, VA
age: 59
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You petition the courts. Make an appointment with a lawyer. A lot of them will have free consultation. If you know what state he's in. You do have as much right as he to have your kids with you provided there is no pryor arrangement. But fistand foremost you need a lawyer. Legal Aid can also be of assistance. You need to get the matter before a judge.
And don't be surprized if you are told you have go where the children reside and seek a resolve within that court system. If you can get them back to Va. you will have a better chance. Then you could partition the court for sole custody. Make no mistake, he could partition the same in his state as well and you would still wind up fighting it there. Best you could hope for there is reasonable visitation. You could be ordered to pay child support to him if he succeeds there. Please contact the local police in his area if you suspect he is abusing drugs. Also talk with social services there. You may get some assistance from Va. department of social services regarding the other state. Good Luck And God Bless.
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1/3/2011 11:44:28 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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pwin_here_n_now
Annapolis, MD
age: 41
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ya.... check out the links I posted.
State law defines what is considered a Fed Offense. Its not a simple civil matter. One parent has fled to another State with the children, with no intent of bringing them back to VA ... That is kiddnapping. I was advised legally during my seperation, that I could not leave the State long term even though my ex was military. Had I gone back to Cali with the kids to be with family - It would have been kiddnapping.
If you have different information: Post a link to it.
But obviously we all don't all of the facts here. The OP is clearly wants her children back... but her attitude on this thread is deffensive. Which indicates to me, there are other issues.
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1/3/2011 11:49:24 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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dddirtyred
Culpeper, VA
age: 24
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no my issue is the things u are sayn like ur tryn to make me out to bad bc i am not perfect! i am trying and thats all i can do, im not doing nothing but some folks wanna seem to think im just horrible!! bs!!! thats all im sayn!! i understand that ya ll are outsiders but damn could ya make me feel n e worse!!
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1/4/2011 12:06:01 AM |
Need some major advice!! |
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mikey2k
Miami, FL
age: 45
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Look miss, I understand where you coming from. But you also have to understand that this is internet, population 2 billion people and growing. And whenever you will ask for advise of any sort, you will get good advise and bad advise. So, read and understand the good advise and see if it can help you find a new direction to resolve the issue on hand, and neglect the bad advise. Because, otherwise, you will just make it worst for yourself emotionally and mentally, and might end up offending citizens who are just trying to help their fellow citizens in their times of need, and who might stop doing the good deed they are trying to do. Thank you for your understanding Madam. I wish you all the best and pray that ALMIGHTY GOD resolve your issue in the best way possible, and keep your children safe and sound, Amen.
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1/4/2011 5:34:16 AM |
Need some major advice!! |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 63
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no my issue is the things u are sayn like ur tryn to make me out to bad bc i am not perfect! i am trying and thats all i can do, im not doing nothing but some folks wanna seem to think im just horrible!! bs!!! thats all im sayn!! i understand that ya ll are outsiders but damn could ya make me feel n e worse!!
Actually, no one is calling you names or trying to make you feel bad. We are all trying to help you, but unless and until we get the whole story, we will all be whistling in the wind while pissing you off. That's not our intent (speaking for myself).
As I said before, there is nothing I wouldn't do (lie, cheat steal, murder) for my children and their safety. Another avenue you might want to take is to call the police in the town where he lives and cry a lot, saying he is suicidal and might take the children with him. That sure as hell would get his a** locked up where it belonged.
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1/4/2011 8:51:17 AM |
Need some major advice!! |
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micmac01979
Boulder, CO
age: 31
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As I said before, there is nothing I wouldn't do (lie, cheat steal, murder) for my children and their safety. Another avenue you might want to take is to call the police in the town where he lives and cry a lot, saying he is suicidal and might take the children with him. That sure as hell would get his a** locked up where it belonged.
I gotta respectfully disagree with that suggestion. Lying to manipulate the situation may likely backfire on the OP. With her ex's drug arrest record, putting the kids in scenarios with drugs around, etc, it sounds like she has plenty to go on already without having to lie to police (which is a crime in itself) about the situation. I understand where you're coming from, I just don't agree that's the best course of action, speaking personally.
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1/4/2011 4:25:00 PM |
Need some major advice!! |
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pwin_here_n_now
Annapolis, MD
age: 41
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no my issue is the things u are sayn like ur tryn to make me out to bad bc i am not perfect! i am trying and thats all i can do, im not doing nothing but some folks wanna seem to think im just horrible!! bs!!! thats all im sayn!! i understand that ya ll are outsiders but damn could ya make me feel n e worse!!
dddirtyred: If you go back through ALL I my posts - I believe you will find that I have done nothing but try to be supportive to you, offer you information and even offered to help you get through the legal ease if it was difficult to understand.
By your above statement, it is clear that your reactions are blanket reactions in general to anyone who posts. I know that what you are going through is overwhelming and frustrating... I have been there. The perception that "I AM Saying You are bad" is your projection of your selfjudgement, or taking other peoples opinions personally.
Its okay for you to vent - as humans we all need to. However, I would suggest that since you asked for "advice" from folks, that you will accomplish more if you go back and really ponder some of the fantastic advice that has been posted by several people, jot it down & and get a action plan together.
For those that haven't posted helpful information or have attacked you personally.... just ignore it - its only their outside perception and judgement - which by the way, has no impact on who you are, unless you allow it to shape your belief in yourself.
I believe that you can fix this! Now its time for you to BELIEVE in yourself and your God.
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