Need some major advice!!

12/31/2010 9:13:06 PM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	ppl i kno this is a bit off all subjects, but what in the hello do u do when ur ex, who creates his own lies and actually believes them, that has nothing truthful ever come out of his mouth has both of ur kids with no custody paper work, just being a butt head n keeping them from you, has them at a new years eve party and accidently calls u without even realizing it, n u hear the looud music the freakn hores in the back ground, and hear them talking about rolling blunts and buying drugs, n u hear girls fighting, n there is nothing u can do to get ur kids outta that situation? what do you do? especially when he has them in a totally different state from where u and him have lived. y kids are 3 and 4 yrs old, please help me out i dont know what to do!!!!!!!! Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
12/31/2010 9:24:50 PM	Need some major advice!!
dianab1 Lake Charles, LA age: 47	If there is no custody papers or anything I would try to find out where he lives and who babysits and take them back..if you are the mother he cant stop it..however a priority would be to file for custody..you can go to the state and get legal advice if you cant afford it an also alot of lawyers will give you a free initial consultation..There are so many things..you can contact child protective services in his state and file a complaint..I would be on the phone first thing monday morning..goodluck!
12/31/2010 9:29:07 PM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	i alrdy have an appointment for the custody, he shouldnt even be outta state with them, thje police wont help, and there is no babysitter, i talked to the ppl that he lives with they tell me my kids shouldnt even be there, that he is lien to them, he has my little kids at a f n party n i dont even kno if they are with a stranger or what, i kno that the only babysitter he has got doesnt have them tonight.... i am completly stuck, not to mention he is wanted for a failure to appear in the state i live in.....
12/31/2010 9:31:04 PM	Need some major advice!!
micmac01979 Boulder, CO age: 31	Tonight? Probably not much you can do, I dunno. Maybe someone will have ideas. (Edit: NEvermind, nix most of what else I said. I hadn't seen your follow-up post.) I still am a bit confused though about why he has y'all's kids in another state right now, without any custody agreement, anyway. There's still something wrong in the story that you're not quite telling here. [Edited 12/31/2010 9:34:23 PM ]
12/31/2010 9:31:20 PM	Need some major advice!!
mp2531 Winchester, VA age: 29	You go to the Court house and file for emergence custody. If no custody papers are drawn then you go go file free, go to the clerks office and they will help you. Once you get the paper work for temp custody you can have the Sheriff go out and pick the kids up for you. The only way you ever have to give the kids back to him , is if he goes to court and gets an order for visation. As far as the phone convo where you heard the drugs and fighting, the judge will not hear it unless you have it recorded, otherwise its all hearsay. Go to the court house monday! You will need his mailing address, his infor DOB, SSN etc.. along with your childrens info.. hope this helps ,, also you can file a motion with DCS to start child support on him,,, I can help you with all of this if you have any questions.. Good luck Steve
12/31/2010 9:31:54 PM	Need some major advice!!
sarcastic_steph Moorhead, MN age: 37	well why does he have the kids in the first place get in your car and go get them. Hell bring the police along if you have too say my babies are in an unsafe environment. I would never sit there with that going on even if I had to borrow a car or gas money. Then find a lawyer through the state if you have too as the lady stated above.
12/31/2010 9:33:21 PM	Need some major advice!!
mp2531 Winchester, VA age: 29	No wait , if the kids are living out of State then you would have to go back to that state and file. Most likely they will not grant you temp custody if you already moved out of state or plan on taking the kids over state lines. You can call first and try..
12/31/2010 9:35:01 PM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	steve u might know him its winchester where he is wanted, i didnt leave my kids behind, i let him come pick them up bc they wanted to c there daddy and he left to another state and wont bring them back bc i wont got back with him, not to mention we have three kids and he is not claiming the 7 month old.
12/31/2010 9:36:22 PM	Need some major advice!!
dianab1 Lake Charles, LA age: 47	If he is wnted for failure to appear then call and let them know where he is at..You have as much a right as him to your children ..get some friends or family and just show up and get them..I have a big family so its easy for me to say..but if you want them you are gonna have to fight for them...JMO
12/31/2010 9:37:48 PM	Need some major advice!!
micmac01979 Boulder, CO age: 31	If that's the whole truthful story, I have kind of a tough time believing the "police won't help", even a little bit. If your story rings true, come Monday, you should be getting those kids back, no doubts about it. Edit: IF you take proactive action to pursue it, that is. [Edited 12/31/2010 9:38:12 PM ]
12/31/2010 9:39:17 PM	Need some major advice!!
fffate Des Moines, IA age: 40	one thing u could do is what they call a well child check. Just call local non-emergency police and tell u have no idea about ur kids safety(cuz hes not letting u know or whatever the reason) and they can stop by his house. At least this way is documented.. I know its difficult but it wud be a lot easier in the end to hav some kind of legal document stating ur custody matters.. for the kids sake n urs. Best of luck
12/31/2010 9:40:48 PM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	i dont have a license or a car have trouble just getting to the f n store for baby formula, ive called the court house the intake office the police it is a civil matter must be heard in court
12/31/2010 9:41:31 PM	Need some major advice!!
micmac01979 Boulder, CO age: 31	I guess I would ditto fffate's advice. If you believe your kids are in danger RIGHT NOW, and you know where they are, call the local police in that area and request a welfare check on behalf of the kids. Edit: IF you can't drive out there, are there any family/friends that could help you out? That might complicate it a bit, but if the police did remove them from the situation, you'll want to have someone that could pick them up. [Edited 12/31/2010 9:43:12 PM ]
12/31/2010 9:45:46 PM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	i went through this the same time last yr the police can not take fromone parent and give to another it is not there responsability to decide who is doing wrong, i dont kno if the state of md extridites back to virginia especially for a failure to appear. i dont have family i dont have friends it is just me...
12/31/2010 9:47:54 PM	Need some major advice!!
dianab1 Lake Charles, LA age: 47	I agree with the welfare check tonight..didnt know they did that..and handle your business on monday..I would personally do whatever it takes!
12/31/2010 9:47:57 PM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	if i could just go get my kids i would he is a 45 yr old crazy a** f n man that takes pride n fighting i have had other ppl who kno both of us tell me that if they were to ever fight him they would have to have a gun bc he is crazy
12/31/2010 9:50:53 PM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	i dk where he is at at the moment somewhere in aryland
12/31/2010 9:56:34 PM	Need some major advice!!
bigcelt40 Corona, CA age: 40	ok if i read that all right your ex took yourkids across state line without talking with you first right? if thats the case screw the local cops talk to the feds. Kidnapping is fednot local
12/31/2010 10:00:46 PM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	so i should be able to get him for that? ive called twenty million ppl i keep getting the run around, last yr he went to social services in west virginia and filed for child support against me and i had the kids. i dont f n understand i go to social services with the truth n they dont wanna help me he goes with lies and gets them to give him tanf and buy him 1000 dollars worth of chainsaws and equipent literitly.
12/31/2010 10:02:04 PM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	all i can do is wait on the system not right, get this, plus he drives without a license fititous tags, and the kids are probably not in careseats, not fair
12/31/2010 10:09:34 PM	Need some major advice!!
micmac01979 Boulder, CO age: 31	Well, at this point, you're right. Not much else you can do but "wait on the system" as you put it. But seriously, tomorrow morning... take a HARD, LONG look at your decision making process that led up to this. You can blame it all on your ex if you want, but based on what you've said here, you had a large role to play in allowing this scenario to go down in the first place. I know that doesn't help you AT ALL tonight, and I wish your kids the very best. But you seriously need to put your kids first in the future, and not allow them to "go" with anyone that you suspect will probably put them in harm's way. Take a bit of responsibility for yourself and your kids in the future. Not much advice I can give beyond that. Best of luck to ya', OP.
12/31/2010 10:22:29 PM	Need some major advice!!
happyn49 Ashland, OH age: 51	There is no kidnapping right now as no custody has been established. The best thing that you can do is call children's services, they will go and check it out right away especially if there is a danger to your children. Several years ago I answered phones for them after hours. You need to go see an attorney to get the papers filed, he is still legally a resident of your state unless its been over 6 months. If the papers are filed, then you can go to child support, they will be the controlling state forever, even if you move and change things they will still be the controlling state, right now the ball is in your court and the sooner you get started the more of the upper hand you will have. Good Luck, and pray it really does work.
12/31/2010 10:24:49 PM	Need some major advice!!
freddoo Wilkes Barre, PA age: 47	id call the police and send them there and tell them what u heard or children and youth they will get involved real quick
12/31/2010 10:28:44 PM	Need some major advice!!
graceandlove El Dorado, AR age: 36	If that is the whole story and he has no custodial verification and has taken the children out of state then it is kidnapping. Plain and simple. File a police report, insist they take one. Remind them that in the event that your children are harmed and the police failed to protect and serve you and those children, they will be held accountable and their jobs will be just the beginning. You most likely will have to drive to said state, having local authorities remove the children from him and escort you on your way. But you need a filed report, some proof or another that he illegally has removed the children from the state in a kidnapping attempt during what would be normal visitation in your home state. If there is no visitation ordered by a court, even better! Do not allow these people to to blow you off because they don't want to deal with doing that much work. The very first thing you must know about the law is YOUR RIGHTS. See, they are counting on the fact that you have no clue what rights you really have nor what they are really required to do. The moment you stand firm and confident in front of them, insisting they do their job immediately or charges will be filed, just watch how attitudes change and how quickly they get things rolling.
12/31/2010 10:45:26 PM	Need some major advice!!
spanky_chris Solvang, CA age: 58	What about an Amber Alert??
12/31/2010 10:45:31 PM	Need some major advice!!
hurtindaddy Binghamton, NY age: 43	Quote from dddirtyred: if i could just go get my kids i would he is a 45 yr old crazy a** f n man that takes pride n fighting i have had other ppl who kno both of us tell me that if they were to ever fight him they would have to have a gun bc he is crazy Um...Why in HELL were you EVER with this animal at ALL, let alone for long enough to have 2 kids? Are you telling us that he was Mr Rogers until the day of the break up? So you were 19 and thought a 40 year old crazy ass, no licence, law breaking, drug-doin, cop-dodging, super violent guy was a CATCH? What, was he FUN, a real TOUGH guy, a sexy BAD ass? Nerdy high school guys who liked you too BORING? Sorry to come down so hard, but damnit you women need to STOP getting WITH These shitheads!! They do NOT hide the evil THAT well, and you KNOW it! I hope you get it now. BAD----BOYS---ARE---ALWAYS---SHIT!!!! Much like the word "Pimp", "Bad" has been bastardized, and is NOT supposed to be a GOOD thing! If you are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO broke and dependent that you have NOI access to money or a car, NO idea where he is and NOBODY to help you...then I am aftaid your kids a just screwed for now. And I hate to say it, but that is NOT 100% thier father's fault.
12/31/2010 11:06:59 PM	Need some major advice!!
teawithsugar Pittsburgh, PA age: 52	Quote from dddirtyred: i dk where he is at at the moment somewhere in aryland If you know where he is staying in Maryland call Child Protective Services (Intake Dept.) in that county (they answer 24 hours a day). Tell CPS what you heard on the phone. If you don't know where he is tonight or where he is staying, give CPS the name and telephone number of the person that usually babysits the kids for him. CPS will most likely contact the babysitter to locate him. On Monday call the Family Court and ask them when the Pro Se Motions are heard (for people who do not have an attorney) and how can you meet with someone to assist you in filing an "Emergency Petition for Special Relief" to get temporary custody of the kids until you have your custody appointment and the courts make a custody order. If what you are saying is accurate, and you he brings the kids back to you, it might be better not to let the kids out of your sight until there is a legal custody order in place.
12/31/2010 11:50:03 PM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	u are definitly right, not all is his fault i a_ not n any kind of way saying it is all hi- i should have left a long ti-e ago, but i was young and du-b and when i first got with hi- he had -e convinced he was a totally different person. slowly the bs started to co-e around, plus i have always been on -y own, he was all i knew, i was scared to leave bc he convinced -e that none of -y fa-ily wanted -e around. when actually they just didnt want -e with hi-. i didnt have a job no place to go. but now i- realizing what he is and that i cant take it no -ore. and i have so-eone willing to help -e. point blank he doesnt need to have those kids with hi-. no i shouldnt have let the- go but i never thought he would have taken the- to a party, we never went out and partied, he was all about work expected -e to be serious all the ti-e, he saw -e as a 45 yr old wo-en. you will never understand unless u are in the situation that i was in period
1/1/2011 12:01:29 AM	Need some major advice!!
hurtindaddy Binghamton, NY age: 43	Well I will give you credit, you sound like you have learned a lot and have really turned it around. Not every young woman does, so you should be proud of yourself for that. You need to keep the faith, because the court system can be VERY slow and and unresponsive. But trust me, once a judge finally DOES get ahold of this bozo he is gonna be crying. In most states a man has to be a SAINT to get custody, and this guy sounds like Ted Bundy for cripes sake! Just let his little baby temper show its face in court and the judge will DESTROY him. Just make sure YOU do EVEERYTHING right. Dont give him any ammo, okay? I have BEEN where you are, and you CAN win! You gotta BELIEVE!
1/1/2011 12:15:54 AM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	i really really apprieciate everyones state-ents, i can take constructive critis. so-eti-es thats what a person needs, but believe -e when i say i have done everything called everyone possible to try and figure this out not only that but i- working on getting a job and going to collage, but in -y situation i fight hurtles since the day i was born. shit -y -other got cancer when i was 9 yrs old and beca-e bed ridden, i literitly had to wipe her butt for her, wrap her legs, cook dinner, and clean the house before the age of 13. okay.... got rest her soul, i didnt -ind but life was not easy in any way, i wanted to play sport but there was no one to pick -e up after school and no one to sit and help -y -other... i had goals at one point they just got put back on hold... but now i- working on -e and thats what its gonna be!!!! but thanks people for ur concern and re-arks however harsh they -ay have been
1/1/2011 1:50:32 AM	Need some major advice!!
pwin_here_n_now Annapolis, MD age: 41 online now!	In the state of Maryland - if you leave with children, out of state with no intent to come back its grounds for kidknapping. Especially if no custody has been determined. Let me do some research.. I'll get back fairly quickly. But you are residing in VA correct? What county? And yes I am trained as paralegal. In the mean time--- Keep notes / a journal of every instance.. and seek out some counseling at your local YWCA - they can get you a grant if necessary. But like most - I think there is some information you are withholding. Email me if you want to talk. Peace. P.Win.
1/1/2011 1:56:22 AM	Need some major advice!!
agudwoman Channelview, TX age: 27	HEY MA' I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT. IT WOULD HELP IF U HAD PROOF OR RECORED CONVERSATIONS BECUZ U CAN EASILY TAKE HIM TO COURT OR FAIL A REPORT IF U THINK HE IS DOING DRUGS ORDER CPS TO DO A DRUG TEST & THEY WILL TAKE UR KIDS FROM HIM IN PLACE THEM EITHER WITH UR PARENTS OR HIS DEPENDING ON THE LIVING SITUATIONS. BUT BE SURE YOU GET A JOB 7 A PLACE OF UR OWN 2 PROOVE 2 THE CPS YOU ARE CAPABLE OF KEEPING UR KIDS. IF DAT DOESN'T WORK JUST PRAY 2 GOD CUZ HE HAS MORE POWER DEN NY1 PRAY & JUST KEEP FAITH!!! SINCERLYl: A SINGLE MOM
1/1/2011 1:58:51 AM	Need some major advice!!
pwin_here_n_now Annapolis, MD age: 41 online now!	check this out.... good info in Md... still looking for VA http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/VA/custody/faqcust.htm
1/1/2011 2:04:03 AM	Need some major advice!!
pwin_here_n_now Annapolis, MD age: 41 online now!	Read this.... If you don't understand it contact me through email... I will explain it to you. http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/VA/custody/custody.htm -the link helps! You DO have a leg to stand on... stop fearing HIM... and get strong. I will guide you any way I can. Please - Read and email me if you need to - we can talk on phone... but I won't post my number on the threads. Peace Darlin.... lets make this a great year! P.Win. [Edited 1/1/2011 2:06:18 AM ]
1/1/2011 2:16:34 AM	Need some major advice!!
pwin_here_n_now Annapolis, MD age: 41 online now!	When the Custody Order Agreement is Violated People go into courthouses everyday telling clerks that the parent has not returned the child at the scheduled time following visitation and they don't know what to do. When a custody order is violated the law requires the custodial parent/lawful custodian to first demand the return of the child. If the child is not returned within 48 hours, the visitation parent may have committed one of the following crimes: If the abducting parent remained within the state: misdemeanor: can be fined $25 or imprisoned for up to 30 days If the abducting parent crosses the state line: felony: can be fined $250 -$1000 and/or imprisoned 30 days to 1 year If the child has actually been stolen by the other parent you should report this to your local police department immediately. The FBI can be called in to find the fugitive parent and the child as well. The only exception to this rule is when the child is in clear and present danger (the victim of abuse or abandonment) requiring the non custodial parent to save them. The non custodial parent must be ready to prove this clear and present danger and they are required by Virginia law to file a petition within 96 hours. In that event, both parents will need a lawyer. Once an incident like this has happened, you may want to consider modifying the custody order. this is taken directly from the VA site. YOU NEED TO CALL THE FBI.....
1/1/2011 2:38:22 AM	Need some major advice!!
pwin_here_n_now Annapolis, MD age: 41 online now!	And read down.... http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=11149&state_code=GE
1/1/2011 3:51:48 AM	Need some major advice!!
heymisterchris Hicksville, NY age: 49 online now!	I only give minor advice.
1/1/2011 4:37:10 AM	Need some major advice!!
itsclear Fort Mohave, AZ age: 48	does not sound like either of you are fit to be in custody of children please tie your tubes
1/1/2011 6:26:39 AM	Need some major advice!!
nothereyoudont Kampong Tanjong Keling Singapore age: 91	What to do? Have kids with someone actually worthwhile in your next life.
1/1/2011 7:51:43 AM	Need some major advice!!
micmac01979 Boulder, CO age: 31	dddirtyred, Do not let your tough childhood be an excuse for putting your kids in harm's way. That's crap. If someone asks you how you let this happen and you simply resort to talking about your poor childhood, you're using that as an excuse. STOP IT, for chrissake. You're not 13 any more. Your mother's illness didn't cause this situation with your kids, you did. Take responsibility for it... be an adult and take responsibility for resolving it. That's on you.
1/1/2011 7:56:41 AM	Need some major advice!!
demetrios2 Cleves, OH age: 54	Quote from dddirtyred: steve u might know him its winchester where he is wanted, i didnt leave my kids behind, i let him come pick them up bc they wanted to c there daddy and he left to another state and wont bring them back bc i wont got back with him, not to mention we have three kids and he is not claiming the 7 month old. By the way do you have legal custody? If so then your ex has committed a federal crime it’s called kidnapping by refusing to bring your kids back or allowing you to come and get them. Once he crossed state lines it became a federal crime all you need to do is pick up the phone and call the police they will do the rest for you.
1/1/2011 9:49:24 AM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	i-not using anything as an excuse, i- trying to give you a feel of what -y life is on a daily basis and why is the way it is.. when n e young kid has to grow up, literitly before they are suppose to, that can put a _ajor toll on a life. I had no childhood, i had to learn everything on -y own with no direction. and now i- just one person all alone in a big world that struggles everyday to get shit done, bc i did f* up in -y past as a teenager without realizing the effect it would have in _y future. you think i got ppl lined up to help out with the si-plest thing like a ride to the store. hell no!!!! i was living in orange county virginia in the -iddle of nowhere, where the closest store was 10 -iles down the road, i had no job no -oney, no phone, no car, no internet, and no friends to catch a ride fro-. this is just so-e of the bs i face daily, along with -oving fro- place to place, never having n e thing stable in life... and i try thats the shitty part about it, its not like i- just siting on -y a** feeling sorry or stuck in the past- i do what i can but it is a big never ending circle... and i- working on that, so say what you wanna say, think what you wanna think, i kno what i do, i kno what i face, n - working on that for -yself and -y kids... I- to the point f* everybody bc in the end, its still gonna be just _e!!!!!!
1/1/2011 9:53:18 AM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	i didnt put _y kids in har-s way, i let the- go with there father, he doesnt -iss treat the- in n e way!! I never thought he would take the- to a party. thats really not like hi-!!! So the only thing i- guilty of is not keeping -y kids away fro- there father. he has the right to see the- just as -uch as i do! da-n so quite tryin to constantly -ake so-eone look f*n horrible bc u have nothing else better.
1/1/2011 9:59:31 AM	Need some major advice!!
singlelifeok Mystic, CT age: 53	You aren't kidnapping if they're your kids, sorry but it's the law. I know if you went and took them back its also not kidnapping but the damage thats happening in the mean time won't ever be changed. Their memories of the "events" are not going to be the same as your memories of the same exact events. This is a no win situation and very sad for the children.
1/1/2011 11:08:57 AM	Need some major advice!!
micmac01979 Boulder, CO age: 31	Quote from dddirtyred: i didnt put _y kids in har-s way, i let the- go with there father, he doesnt -iss treat the- in n e way!! I never thought he would take the- to a party. thats really not like hi-!!! So the only thing i- guilty of is not keeping -y kids away fro- there father. he has the right to see the- just as -uch as i do! da-n so quite tryin to constantly -ake so-eone look f*n horrible bc u have nothing else better. Well, this tune is quite different from the last one you were singing about this man, earlier in the thread. Just sayin'. Don't blame me for taking your story at face value if it wasn't the truth of the matter.
1/1/2011 11:59:22 AM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	the guy is a co-plete a**hole he tells his own lies and truths about whatever, he is not a good person but he doesnt -iss treat the kids, -akes really stupid decisions and puts hi-self on a peta-stool. so what im saying i didnt put -y kids in har-s way and they have always been the first priorty in -y life, all i- saying is ur constantly lookn for a way to put so-eone down, your not perfect and i- sure there are so-e things that u have done where u didnt put n e thought into either, so dont -ake -e feel like i did so-ething for allowing -y children to spend ti-e with there father.... no matter how bad he is he is still there father reguardless!!
1/1/2011 1:40:26 PM	Need some major advice!!
icuddle Salem, OR age: 58	Call the cops about his drug buying/using, and get a court order keeping him away from you and the kids. When he threatens you over that, tell the cops. When he violates the court order by coming around, shoot him dead. The court order/police reports will get you a ruling of "justifiable homicide".
1/1/2011 2:06:34 PM	Need some major advice!!
cubcougar Santa Rosa, CA age: 57	the guy is a sperm doner and a cash cow ... he is not a father, not a man, not fit to raise children as he is a boy, stuck in his toddler tantrum as a natural result of his own child abuse. he can fix this ... until he does, you have to do what you have to do with the law. they are your kids, go get them, bring them to a safe place, the evidence will speak for it self. If you are doing Parent Custodial Fighting and being nasty with him out of your own toddler tantrum, then an Attorney Ad Litum and Forsenic Psychologists will do a back ground check on all of you ... and if BOTH of you are UNFIT to parent the children, they will take the kids away from you and him. As foster care as damaging as that is, is LESS then what you to do in foxing up the kids. sumbuddie wear blind sea Quote from dddirtyred: the guy is a co-plete a**hole he tells his own lies and truths about whatever, he is not a good person but he doesnt -iss treat the kids, -akes really stupid decisions and puts hi-self on a peta-stool. so what im saying i didnt put -y kids in har-s way and they have always been the first priorty in -y life, all i- saying is ur constantly lookn for a way to put so-eone down, your not perfect and i- sure there are so-e things that u have done where u didnt put n e thought into either, so dont -ake -e feel like i did so-ething for allowing -y children to spend ti-e with there father.... no matter how bad he is he is still there father reguardless!!
1/1/2011 6:08:31 PM	Need some major advice!!
th6231 Point Pleasant Beach, NJ age: 63	Get a lawyer who can help you.
1/1/2011 9:06:33 PM	Need some major advice!!
crystalwren Palm Bay, FL age: 41	i had this happen too. by law you both have equal custody and the police won't help! i sat at the court house three days in a row waiting to talk to a judge and finally a woman lawyer helped me get in and she didn't charge me. i didn't drive or have money either. it is hard. good luck! do what ever you have too to get help. you can call the center for missing and exploited children they might have some ideas too.
1/1/2011 9:27:49 PM	Need some major advice!!
lkocher Salt Lake City, UT age: 32	I agree with what Micmac told you. At some point you have to step up and take responsibility. Not having a custodial agreement between parents is not being responsible. Take care of business. My mother also had cancers, several of them, while I was growing up along with several other major health scares. I was about nine too when I changed my first bed pan. I took care of the house, walked to the grocery store with my wagon and did the shopping, cleaned the house, laundry, etc. My dad was always working. However, just because I had to do these things does not mean that I didn't have a childhood! I did! A happy one! Albeit one with some heavy responsibilities. It's not an excuse for your current situation or why you got in trouble at a young age. Get the custody agreement. When you feel your children are in danger, call and fight until they are removed from danger. No excuses. Make people listen. Stand up for those kids! It's your job.
1/2/2011 10:52:20 PM	Need some major advice!!
pwin_here_n_now Annapolis, MD age: 41 online now!	single in CT: May not be a fellony offense in Your State but in Maryland if you have joint legal custody and one of the parents take the children out of State lines with no intent to bring them back to the other parent for visitation/custudy time... It is a federal offense and IS kiddnapping. VA law says the same. And living in Maryland, and having been in the legal field here, and through my own custody battle - I happen to know that VA and MD tend to work very closely with regard to extradition. In addition, if recall correctly - there is no official judgement or order - which makes for even a stronger case of kiddnapping. The OP needs to get help, and I am hoping she is not squandering her time on the forums defending herself and is investing time on getting some real help. P.Win [Edited 1/2/2011 10:56:58 PM ]
1/2/2011 11:19:20 PM	Need some major advice!!
darkfire1 New Hampton, IA age: 43	Sorry to hear that for the kids sake,(they are innocent), but it's your own fault for being with someone like that in the first place. Sounds like a crackhead to me.
1/2/2011 11:57:42 PM	Need some major advice!!
zoocitykitty Asheboro, NC age: 37	Sounds like the typical sociopath. Without knowing him I can't judge though, but from what you are saying..he sounds like no person to be around children. If he has no custody papers, why does he have them? No custody papers means not legal and if it is not legal and in documentation, there is NOTHING he can do to keep you from getting them. I would document all he does and has done around them. Not sure why you do not have your kids, but to be blunt it must be of your own desire, because I would not even have to be worrying about this type of situation. As a mother, you have first parental rights unless unfit.
1/3/2011 12:09:17 AM	Need some major advice!!
darkfire1 New Hampton, IA age: 43	Quote from zoocitykitty: As a mother, you have first parental rights unless unfit. Wrong. Neither parent is automatically more deserving than the other.
1/3/2011 12:14:57 AM	Need some major advice!!
th6231 Point Pleasant Beach, NJ age: 63	I can NEVER get past the thought of the descriptions of these guys who are SOOOO bad---you knew he was all this bad stuff--but you stayed there---THEN--you actually had sex--more than once--with this so called lunatic weirdo man. And then--he has the kids??? I am officially calling this a pity party-- nothing else to write about-- BS story. And you are how old?? Did you EVER think to get rid of him or keep him off you?? Did you ever ask a lawyer ANYTHING??? Did you ever think to call your local police?? Do you even think???
1/3/2011 1:20:58 AM	Need some major advice!!
dddirtyred Culpeper, VA age: 24 online now!	why is it that you ppl seem to think everything is just soo simple some things are not just as simple as u want them to be!!! you kno what im not even about to feed into ya lls bs, i kno what the deal is and thats all that matters.
1/3/2011 6:22:20 AM	Need some major advice!!
zoocitykitty Asheboro, NC age: 37	Quote from darkfire1: Wrong. Neither parent is automatically more deserving than the other. Almost always the woman will have the children. It is extremely hard to take kids away from the mother unless she is unfit. I have even seen cases where women were allowed to keep her kids when they needed to be taken away, so what I am not understanding is why she feels she can't go get her kids from a man that is being unfit around them. If both parents are not divorced, or have legal papers saying who can and can't have the kids..both do have rights, but she has the right to go get her kids from him.
1/3/2011 9:43:41 AM	Need some major advice!!
susansheart839 Port Saint Lucie, FL age: 63	If my ex fled to another state with my children, nothing in heaven or on earth would stop me from finding them and riding off into the sunset with them. You can go the legal route, too, and since he took them across state lines, that makes his deed a felony. Doesn't matter that he is the daddy. Kidnapping is kidnapping. Be real and go get your kids!
1/3/2011 9:50:22 AM	Need some major advice!!
mikey2k Miami, FL age: 45	http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PublicHomeServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US IMHO, you need to contact the missing and exploited children department of FBI like I have done in the past. They are professional, and their sole purpose is to help find children and reunite them with the concerned parent/s. They will guide you through the process and will provide you with the necessary assistance. Good Luck Madam.

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