| 2/23/2008 10:35:48 AM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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goochie137
Kalamazoo, MI
age: 39 online now!
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Trugrace I'm so sorry for the pain you are going rhough.
It is my type of personality to find out all the details I possibly can. I agree with so many of the other posters advice. This I say from experience. I would get a copy of the court documentations, and see if there are any other pieces missing. And in this case I would do a criminial background check. I don't normally say this, but I think because of the feelings involved you need to know the whole truth. I would write to him and ask him all the questions that you have going on inside your head. Did he tell you what happened with the Ex girlfriend? And what did he do to violate the PPO? That is a very serious offence.
If I can ask, how old is this gentleman? Does he live near you? Have you met in person yet?
Check your email in a few minutes.
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| 2/23/2008 10:35:57 AM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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truegrace
Hagerstown, MD
age: 52
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Now the remark about the resentment toward the SS Agent we have been best friends for years, We were lovers in 1995 after my first husband before my second and things went oh sobad for us. If you ever read any of the answers to responses I've given about best friends being lovers this is the man I was talking about. He is a wonderful guy and a treasure to find but our first love affair nearly tore us apart then in 2001 we were engaged to be married and he was retireing from the SS and 9/11 happened and he left me. Oh yes I do love this man but, feel the SS will come first no matter what he'll be there till he dies if at all possible. not sure I can live with that and know I cant deal at 52 having a baby and worring about him
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| 2/23/2008 10:36:33 AM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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teaurtei
Payne, OH
age: 40
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Cocaine abuse, child molestation, violating restraining orders, possibly abusive, still in contact with ex, hides things/keeps secrets, doesn't keep in contact or thinks of you as an after thought...I know I'm missing more points mentioned, but...
I've never read any of these things under anyone's lists of what they are looking for in a partner. I'm surprised you have to ask what you should do. You already know...seeking confirmation is just procrastinating at this point. Cut your losses and move on while you can. Who knows, maybe that next charge he's looking for could be manslaughter.
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| 2/23/2008 10:46:53 AM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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alex_192
Sarasota, FL
age: 55
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Do I let go of what I've wanted for months and worked so very hard to earn his trust and caring?
it seems you are more concern on how hard you worked to have him than what both of you have worked on building a loving lifeterm relationship
a relationship that is based in mutual trust and respect
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| 2/23/2008 10:49:43 AM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 47
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Truegrace-I am very sorry to see that you are having all these problems. I know we as humans never signed on to have to go through so much in the name of happily ever after. I am not going to put "all my business in the street" but believe me when I say, I know from what I speak. Walk away from this man, no matter how he tries to explain away all these charges against him, more likely than not there is some if not all truth to them. The fact that you had to find out about most of it from the roommate should tell you something. If he was truly serious about you starting a future with him, he should have disclosed any and all information that he had. A man who is locked up, has plenty of time to put pen to paper and write to you exactly what you want to hear. PLEASE BE CAREFUL AND TREAD SOFTLY. Karen
I had forgot to ask, do you have a daughter, a niece or a sister? What advice would you give her in the same situation?
[Edited 2/23/2008 10:54:02 AM]
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| 2/23/2008 10:50:14 AM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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magtag
East York, ON
age: 41
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truegrace....I am concerned for you.
Take a step back and really think about this. You do not have to choose one man or the other...you can choose you. And in choosing you, you will be safe and healthy and happy in the long run.
There are good men out there, so why even consider settling for a man who has SO MANY things to be frightened of??? He is not good for you, he is not good for anyone. Maybe some day this man will figure out that he has serious problems and issues and get help to repair himself, but you cannot do this for him, nor force it to happen, so who he is today is exactly what you are getting...not a good choice.
Please be careful...I beg you!
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| 2/23/2008 11:02:11 AM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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smilin_bob
Broadway, VA
age: 47 online now!
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TrueGrace,
Have you heard the term Florence Nightengale Syndrome? This is what it appears to me. I could be wrong. Please do NOT put yourself in the postition to "rescue" this man from his past. He has to rescue himself. He says he NEEDS you.. not that he WANTS you.
You have waited, you have pondered. You have struggled. You have been left in the dark. As time goes on, you find out more and more information that complicates the picture. How much do you have to find out before you can come to your own conclusion that this man with the troubled past is NOT relationship material?
You have spent time with the new man. You have enjoyed it. You have seen him face to face. Are you really in a quandry about this, or are you failing to see that maybe one door should be closed because this other door has been opened to you?
You have "promised" to stand by him. Would you make that promise knowing what you know now?
You have a new relationship with a new man, and you have experienced it in real life. On the other side, you have a bunch of broken promises, hurt and deception.
What ever you do, I wish you the best of luck!
~smiles~
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| 2/23/2008 11:30:06 AM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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truegrace
Hagerstown, MD
age: 52
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No I dont have a daughter but am very close to my exboyfriends daughter. Advice to her, not sure what to say, except think twice about this. The thing is David was just learning trust me and you have to trust before you can share yourself with someone. He was telling me things bit by bit a little at a time about his marriages and his girlfriend and his troubles. Yes these are things he should have told me right up front as for the long time we took before things werent done right he wasnt sure and I wasnt but once he made the decision I knew now I'm thinking what else should he have told me first.
I guess I really want to know do I have the right to ask these questions and expect answers to them? No doubt in my mind this will end any hope of relationship with us but I want to know how truthful these things are. Anyone that knows anything about the last weekend with satinonlace how much of it was she involved in and what part did he play with her he claims he only met her about 2 weeks ago and she emailed him.
Karen
Thank you, You've turned out to be a real friend and I know you are so very right.
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| 2/23/2008 11:38:56 AM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 47
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As I have mentioned before on the Satin subject, please be careful. She followed you around post to post and seem to know way too much information about you, maybe you should look at how she knew all of the information, maybe he told her. If you want to find out the truth about his legal problems, the freedom of information act will get yo any court records that you need and you can make up your own mind. If you ask him he is going to tell you exactly what he wants you to believe, and just going from experience here, after he tells you what he wants you to believe, any thing you might want to question will cause many problems. In other words, the he will give you the opinion he wants you to have. Please be careful, I have been here and done this and ended up face down in the dirt with.............................. Karen
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| 2/23/2008 12:21:53 PM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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charlesdecker
Sun Valley, CA
age: 37
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There is something that is known as your "personal life."
A lot of it is not to be shared with all the strangers you might encounter on the Internet.
It is between you and her.
So be careful with what you say.
I've heard this more than once from some beautiful women.
"Too much information."
Guys........try to listen to the women who care about you.
There is a lot to be learned from what they say.
Yeah, now I am a guy who is in a relationship.
And I am very happy about that.
So feel free to call me "whipped" if you like.
But I am still happy.
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| 2/23/2008 12:31:53 PM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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garnetlady
Cincinnati, OH
age: 48
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If it were me....I'd run like the wind and never look back. Some of the things mentioned...he is just not a man I'd want to associate with. Trust? Trust is earned and I'd say he would have to work mighty hard to get anyone to trust with that kind of record. Not trying to be mean....but is that what you want in your life? Did I read it wrong?...was he accused of molesting a 14 yr old girl? If so, why would anyone want to be with him. There is no rehabilitation for child molestors. I won't even go into what I think of them. Everyone has given you great advice. You seem like a 'fixer' kind of personality. Some things and people you just can't fix no matter how hard you try. You have to think enough of yourself and know when to walk away. Sorry about his luck, he made the bed now he can lie in it alone....is how I'd look at.
I'm sure it must be the same everywhere...if you go to his countys CLERK OF COURTS and type in his first and last name...it should tell you EVERYTHING he has ever been to court for in his county
I'm sorry you are goin through this and I wish you much luck....
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| 2/23/2008 12:41:53 PM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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mljsnowbunny
Spokane, WA
age: 46
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in jail for violating a restraining order with his ex is not good news sweetie, I know what your emotions tell you but you deserve so much better, someone who will love you and respect you and not want to EVER cause you grief or trouble. Someone who will make you his whole world and not want to have contact with an ex because you consume all his thoughts. Baby, just walk away from him and you will find someone who will romance ya in the way you want and DESERVE
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| 2/23/2008 12:45:38 PM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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truegrace
Hagerstown, MD
age: 52
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believe me all is being done, the child molestaion hasnt been proven and I too can not forgive that I intend to run like hell but I feel I deserve answers after all I trusted this man and tried for months to let him know I wanted to help him and all I got it seems one lie after another then he comes back when I start walking away and pretends to have a change of heart. Maybe I am wrong but I need answers and think i'm entitled to them
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| 2/23/2008 12:50:24 PM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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bry11ca
Wappingers Falls, NY
age: 43
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TrueGrace,
Your nickname is the answer you are looking for. Hang in there. There may not be any answers that satisfy your need.
My  goes out to you but my mind fails me at the moment  . Reach out to me when you ne a smile or a giggle. 
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| 2/23/2008 12:55:28 PM |
You've found the one you were looking for |
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mrbadexample
Cleveland, OH
age: 43
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I say RUN...run like the wind...that's the advice I always give. It's good advice, actually. Some people disagree and write columns of ill-advised recommendations. They know nothing. I say run away...run fast, run far. Listen to me...I know these things.
(So...are you running yet??....start running now...what are you waiting for??!!)
[Edited 2/23/2008 12:57:36 PM]
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