| 3/2/2008 9:40:40 AM |
what would you think? |
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magtag
East York, ON
age: 41
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There's certainly nothing wrong with getting along with your ex while raising your children. It's awesome that you two have managed to get to a point where you can do this! Your kids will be stronger, happier, healthier people because of it.
I've been separated for 6 years, I get along great with my ex. And as with you, no I don't just call him up to chat, we don't just hang out for the sake of hanging out. But, given the amount of time we have been apart and able to be civil and friendly, we are now at the point where we can go to a hockey game with our son together, we can take photos at graduation with our son together, he comes to my house on Christmas Eve (with his girlfriend too of course) so that he can also have that time with our son, he comes to my house for our son's birthday party, etc. The bottom line is that our son has BOTH of his parents involved in ALL the special/important times in his life. He is secure, he is loved and he is happy. That's the MOST important thing to me.
And...don't be surprized if someday in the future you may discuss relationship issues with your ex...lol! I found over the last two years, that my ex has come to me and asked questions or just vented about his relationship. He knows me and he knows I will keep it to myself, he can trust me, so he chooses to have these conversations with me occasionally. At first it was a little odd, but today, no biggie...lol!
Other's in your family, or friends may not understand because not everyone can manage to put aside whatever issues caused the marriage to end and focus on the kids well-being. It is not really the norm unfortunately. Over time, they will come to see that you are an exception to the norm and that it's a REALLY GREAT exception!
Kudos to you and your ex!!
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| 3/2/2008 9:43:46 AM |
what would you think? |
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yanks118
Moab, UT
age: 25
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lol his gf confides in me quite a bit! not real sure what to tell her most of the time though!
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| 3/2/2008 9:45:36 AM |
what would you think? |
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magtag
East York, ON
age: 41
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Be careful with that one...lol! I've been there too, and found the best approach was to be a great listener and offer NO advice! It may just bite you in the ass later 
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| 3/2/2008 9:50:28 AM |
what would you think? |
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mrcooper25
Wind Ridge, PA
age: 29
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My ex and I are in the same boat. We used to hate each others gut in the beginning of the divorce but have grown to become friends again. Hell we have even had a couple one night stands with each other. Nothing like ex sex and being able to send them home in the morning without felling bad. Sex aside we do the same as you. We talk about the kids, work on splitting the time up and we are pretty good friends. I think you should do what your heart says. They are your kids and his. The two of you may as well get along since you have another 16 years of interaction.
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| 3/2/2008 9:54:10 AM |
what would you think? |
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yanks118
Moab, UT
age: 25
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we actually have an entire lifetime of interaction....... because of weddings and get togethers with the kiddos n stuff when they get big..... grandkids occations... i just don't ever want our kids to go omg if i invite both of them to the wedding there is going to be a big blow out and everything will be ruined ya know.... i don't see why people can't see it that way!
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| 3/2/2008 10:01:10 AM |
what would you think? |
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crowdog3
Ponca City, OK
age: 34
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My theory is your me ex for a reason, if we have kids together, then you can see my kids on schedule visitation days only, other then that I don't want anything too do with you, and if she treated me like crap during our relationship, then I really don't want her around me or the kids JMO
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| 3/2/2008 10:17:05 AM |
what would you think? |
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yanks118
Moab, UT
age: 25
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i don't think that is right for the kiddos though!
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| 3/2/2008 12:08:52 PM |
what would you think? |
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chasdude
Charleston, SC
age: 49
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If you can't be a husband or wife, at least be cordial for the kids sake.
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| 3/2/2008 12:17:29 PM |
what would you think? |
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yanks118
Moab, UT
age: 25
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well weather we like eachother or not..... we are still mom and dad..... no matter what!
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| 3/2/2008 12:26:04 PM |
what would you think? |
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zeanah
Clarion, PA
age: 48
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Yanks...it is the right thing to be civil for the kids sake. I did it with my EX and our children could relax when we went to their school activities. I wanted their father to be a part of their lives and that meant being a good mother and letting go of any anger for him. We always put the kids before us and it turned out great. My children are grown, have no issues with our divorce, thankful we did get along and still do. I am actually good friends with my EX and we will be fine when our kids have weddings or children. It is selfish to deny a child their other parent unless they are just bad bad news and there is a safety issue. Other than that...it is the right thing to do!
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| 3/2/2008 1:59:21 PM |
what would you think? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 49
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Oh how I wish this rang true for my situation ..sighs
I am so happy to see that many ppl are getting along after the big "D"..for the sake of the kids.
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| 3/2/2008 2:11:12 PM |
what would you think? |
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dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 44
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If you can pull it off, that's great! 
So often jelousy will raise it's ugly head once one of you begins hanging out with others.
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| 3/3/2008 8:34:57 PM |
what would you think? |
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silverbullet725
Grand Junction, CO
age: 33
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I say it's all good to relax and enjoy it...stay friends. I'm sure (if your situation is like mine..4 months over) there are good times and bad. Old feelings...live always, both good and bad. But I know when the times are good, and we're being decent and fair to each other...even acting like friends!! yeah- god forbid anyone should stay friends with someone they share a lifetime common interest in. but that's the BEST POSSIBLE hope for two people who divorce and share kids. that's being decent people. not to tell ya what to do, but in my situation I do have to be careful to stay within the bounds of our new relationship, with my words, questions, and "tone". feel me? you seem to get that though, so no worries. be good. 
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| 3/3/2008 8:56:37 PM |
what would you think? |
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chimike
Chicago, IL
age: 57
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I think it's great and I think that you, and especially your kids, are lucky you can have that relationship with your ex. There is absolutely no benefit to being bitter and angry with each other - it didn't work, now you have the chance to make the divorce and parenthood work better...so good you're taking that opportunity. My ex and I are driving 6 hours this weekend to see our daughter in a concert....so, it's possible and a positive thing.
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| 3/3/2008 10:04:44 PM |
what would you think? |
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daddyduck
Splendora, TX
age: 54
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It all depends on how you feel about it, once i lose trust with soomeone they don't get it back. I raised my youngest alone, it took twenty years before the shooting stopped we talk now but it took the full 20. Good luck ex means just that
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