| 3/2/2008 6:05:43 AM |
what would you think? |
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yanks118
Moab, UT
age: 25
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ok, so it has been 16 months since my divorce was final.. for a long time i was pretty much walking on egg shells with the ex.. not sure why but was always scared to even talk to him unless i had to! well here the past couple of months (since i pretty much told him off about something) we have been getting along great! we can joke and all is good! it really strangly enough feels really good to me (since we HAVE at least 16 more years being directly in eachothers lives because of the babies) now we have both done a lot of comprimising and helping eachother out as far as who's time it is with the kiddos if something comes up and stuff...
but now my mom is saying that it is just the calm before the storm... and he's going to go all crazy on me or something.. what do you all think? i mean i enjoy the fact that we can get along... he is no where near my best friend, and i wouldn't ask him about relationship advice or anything like that.... but we can actually talk about the cute lil things the kiddos did..... and pull out the cameras and ask which pics they would like a copy of and stuff like that... i guess what i am getting at.. is .... what is so wrong about that? because it seems my family and my friends just don't get it... just because he's an ex we have to hate eachother?
(i'm friends with people i just dated and broke up with... so why can't i be with my ex hubby? beings how we share our children?) 
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| 3/2/2008 6:13:37 AM |
what would you think? |
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wednesday
Strawberry Plains, TN
age: 36
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I think the answer lies in how long you were married and the circumstances that created the reasons for divorce. Someone who's only been married for a year can probably pull it of (with little or no drama). When their are kids involved you can bet your bottom dollar you are not going to always agree on every aspect of their raising, and you can bet your bottom dollar most date worthy single men are put off by a strong relationship with the EX especially if they have any intention of sticking around for a while.
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| 3/2/2008 6:17:06 AM |
what would you think? |
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yanks118
Moab, UT
age: 25
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we were married for 4 yrs.... and well i guess we just wernt ment to be... there were several reasons for the divorce.. i wouldn't call what we have now a STRONG relationship..... but we get along! and with having kids together.. i think that is a really good thing! like i said i don't go hang out with him ever.. or just call him up to talk to him (i call the kids when he has them though but usually his gf is there)
but for some reason everyone i know thinks we should just fight and things... i for one don't have the energy to fight with him...... that is why we got divorced!
and NO i would NEVER go back with him!
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| 3/2/2008 6:38:42 AM |
what would you think? |
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wednesday
Strawberry Plains, TN
age: 36
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Than that's all you need to know. I for one am in agreement about a working relationship between Mom and Dad being in the best interest for the kids even in the face of divorce.
I don't see the reason some divorced parents try to drag each other down. When one parent goes down...the kids suffer too. Soiunds like you've got your head on your shoulders.
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| 3/2/2008 6:42:07 AM |
what would you think? |
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rice4lyf
New South Wales
Australia
age: 20
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At least the dad still wants to be friends. When my parents got divorced a few years ago, my father being the typical Asian he is, chose money over family EVEN when he said he would choose family over money.
For the sake of the kids, I reckon keeping the parent's as friends is a good idea.
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| 3/2/2008 7:18:16 AM |
what would you think? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 49
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yank there is nothing wrong in this. Getting along for the sake of the kids is Wonderful...not many are able to do this.
WTG
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| 3/2/2008 7:30:17 AM |
what would you think? |
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impressivetoys
Wells, MN
age: 26
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Its funny you bring this up. Im in the same perdicument with my ex. (I wonder if her thoughts are the same?!?!?!) But on my end of it, I had to do the same thing, cause a uproar in her, just to get her to talk to me. Now were on great terms. We can speak openly to each other. Sometimes its better to just "get along" with the ex at all costs. Put the little ones first, we tend to lose that thought in these situations and it gets to be all about us. And alot of times we have our familys hateing the the ex cause "they done us wrong" so to speak. But if your getting along roll with it. I dont know the personality of your ex, but dont ever let your gaurd down. Expect the unexpected. And remember, the past is dead, let the dead bury the dead.
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| 3/2/2008 7:31:00 AM |
what would you think? |
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easygoin68
Crawford, NE
age: 39
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Yanks, lot of peeps have buyers remorse about the life after divorce. Sometimes the after expectations are way south of what they wanted. Maybe he grew up and got over himself, and
decided to step up to the plate and be a man. Maybe you've changed also. I say keep it about the children, and earn each others respect back. Good luck!
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| 3/2/2008 8:49:59 AM |
what would you think? |
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crowdog3
Ponca City, OK
age: 34
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I think you are still in love with your ex, and vice versa, and you two WILL be getting back together soon
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| 3/2/2008 9:15:05 AM |
what would you think? |
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yanks118
Moab, UT
age: 25
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crow do you want me to smack you for that coment?
i will always love the butthead cause he's the daddy to my babies... but in love or true love..... hells no!
if it wasn't for the kids it wouldn't bother me at all to not ever talk to him again.... but the peace of us getting along for them... really helps! took me a year to get him to a point where he wasn't freakin all the damn time!
and yeah of course he's still in love with me! people don't jus get over me that easy! lol jus kiddin!
[Edited 3/2/2008 9:15:44 AM]
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| 3/2/2008 9:15:56 AM |
what would you think? |
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crowdog3
Ponca City, OK
age: 34
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Yanks you know why I said that don't ya?
How did you know hun?
[Edited 3/2/2008 9:23:05 AM]
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| 3/2/2008 9:19:40 AM |
what would you think? |
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yanks118
Moab, UT
age: 25
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please enlighten me!
is it cause i haven't realized yet that your my soul mate? lol
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| 3/2/2008 9:27:45 AM |
what would you think? |
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pwin_here_n_now
Annapolis, MD
age: 38
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Yanks you have been blessed. It always warms my heart to hear of two people finding a way to be civil for the kiddos... I have prayed for that for 8 years --- Just not in the cards for me and my kids.
Hang on to refusing to fight. Life is too short. Continue on as you are! Whatever is to come to pass - will.... Know that you have acted from the heart and being true to yourself.
It's a blessing  accept it for what it is.
Peace
P.win
[Edited 3/2/2008 9:28:36 AM]
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| 3/2/2008 9:34:29 AM |
what would you think? |
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smilin_bob
Broadway, VA
age: 47
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Yanks,
Since you are divorced (for whatever reason), it is imperitive you have some sort of amicable standing with your ex. You have stated a very important observation - that your relationship with him is over as Wife-Husband. The relationship is not 100% over since BOTH of you have children to nuture, support and encourage as they grow. I would continue your path on keeping communication going between you and your ex AS IT RELATES TO YOUR CHILDREN. Your children will benefit greatly from this.
When I got a divorce, both of us realized we still had a job of raising kids. We were not enemies. We worked together in a peaceful environment when dealing with issues relating to the children.
As far as your Mother is concerned, I would guess that she thinks she is protecting you and her grandchildren. She has to come to grips with her hatred of your ex. She has to understand your ex has a right and an obligation to raise those children, and be a part of their lives. If your Mother does not let go and let him be their Dad, she could drive him away from their lives. He could withdraw. If that happens, then the only people that are hurt are the kids.
Sure, your Mother can choose to continue to show ill-will towards him. You cannot control your Mother's emotions. Your Mother SHOULD NOT interfere when he is being a Dad to the children.
I say these things from experience.
~smiles~
Bob.
(edited for spelling)
[Edited 3/2/2008 9:36:30 AM]
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| 3/2/2008 9:40:26 AM |
what would you think? |
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yanks118
Moab, UT
age: 25
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i'm jus cool like that crow! hehehehe
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