| 3/2/2008 10:39:52 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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leeann1
Summerville, SC
age: 49 online now!
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I must say I am looking for a friend in this point of time in my life. Someone to share the good days and the bad days with. Someone that I can enjoy thier companionship with and not sit alone every night. If that friendship develops into more then great, if not I have another friend in my life. It seems I have a hard time making close friends. I don't need someone to support me, or to be a handyman, or my caretaker. Not that if the time was right I wouldn't turn down that help. I guess when the right one comes along I will know.
Anytime now would be good! 
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| 3/2/2008 10:49:26 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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hobokengirl1
Metuchen, NJ
age: 64
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I'm expecting friendship. Just that. It has to be first, even before meeting face to face.
Friendship will establish who each of us is at heart. Common ground. Common interests. Shared thoughts tell one another who we are.
I don't mean the mere exchanging of a flurry of emails that are pure propaganda for our personal cause. I mean the slow and leisurely exchange of non-agenda conversations that build, ever so slowly, into a real interest in one another's lives.
This is a sweet building of friendship. Allowed the freedom of natural consequences, friendship builds into sincere affection and gradually can turn into love.
This is the progression of my next relationship.
One imperative or another, whether it was adolescent hormones or escape from/into a relationship in one quick hurry -- these scenarios one after another comprise the story of my life to date. I have grown too soon old and too late smart. I will never make emotional mistakes again.
I don't know where I will meet him or how. It could be the person standing next to me at the supermarket check-out counter. It will be a chance meeting. Destiny? Fate? Karma? Serendipity? Who knows. But if it is true that every pot has a lid, then my lid is out there and we will find one another.
I'm a pot. I'm dented and deeply scored from long use. I'm scratched on the inside and blackened on the outside. This testifies to my long years of experience. My lid is of the same general condition. We are not the flashy new stainless steel with teflon coatings. We are the battered old aluminum cookware our mothers and grandmothers relied on for every meal they set upon the family table. We have a rich history of service. We love family life. We have been in hot water over and over again!
This is the love of my life. This simple soul, not complicated, he is totally 'what-you-see-is-what-you-get,' comfortable in his own skin. Down to earth. Aware of his so-called failings in the eyes of the modern world and accepting of mine. An equal in every way. So equal in spirit that we are neither male nor female with all that implies, but of one nebulous issue-free gender. A friend who cares and understands even when you have a really bad and perhaps even ''socially-unacceptable'' day. I can't even imagine what a socially-unacceptable day might include, but just say I had one -- I'd hope to be comforted rather than hung out to dry.
I'd like to say ''that's all I want'' but I know that a real and loving friendship is the zenith of my all hopes. Because everything else would build upon that unshakable foundation.
I have no desire for a whirlwind courtship. I don't have that much energy anymore. A whirlwind would knock me down and that old "I've fallen and I can't get up'' cliche pops into my head to make me smile at a truth I'd have to own up to.
I'm a simple person with simple needs, hopes and dreams. I'm low maintenance. But I want every last vestige of honesty a man has to offer. Nothing less. I could not be vulnerable with a man I could not trust implicitly.
For me, trust is the heart and soul of friendship. Anything less is reduced to a casual acquaintance of no particular impact or merit. I don't want the dime-a-dozen man. I want a friend. I need to be able to invest my whole heart in a relationship and be utterly assured that such a gift would be appreciated and reciprocated on every level.
But that's just me...
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| 3/2/2008 10:52:54 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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claypot
Lewiston, MI
age: 48
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I have been single for 21yrs now. At this point, I'm not real sure I want a full time relatioship. I come and go as I please WITHOUT having to stop and answer to someone.
Although there are parts of a relationship I do miss, human contact mainly, the laughter, and of course the all mighty GREAT SEX. But hey, worst comes to worse, I can also...........never mind.
But one never knows, the RIGHT one comes along, all that I'm use to may just go right out the window.
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| 3/2/2008 11:12:09 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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chooseyme
Mohawk, NY
age: 64
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when I met my second husband....I did not want to ever have another committed relationship,much less marriage.However meeting him changed my mind and also made me deal with I am. As much as mind set was "casual" it did not work for me. I now have even more factors involved in my life, along with having come to terms with who I am, and age I think would make having a relationship impossible. I find it outstanding that I joined a dating site,not knowing what I wanted, to make many female friendships. I enjoy the time I spend on here, the exchanges are wonderful; most of the time I forget it is a dating site.Is a relationship possible....of course, will it come as a wonderful shock and discovery...definately....but I have so enjoyed my times....I can just wait and let what will be be.
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| 3/2/2008 11:15:33 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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angel47274
Seymour, IN
age: 51
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I agree...would love to find someone that it would start out as friends..someone to maybe out out to dinner with or have them to my place for a home cooked meal...someone to go for walks with...someone to sit there and have a conversation with and they actually talk back...
and if that friendship turn into something more, great...if not, have a really great friend....
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| 3/2/2008 11:33:47 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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shalah
Marshall, MO
age: 59
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lol Isnt it funny that sxys good housekeeping add thingy is right next to this thread. Seems to me all of them men in here have gone to their hidy holes too all of a sudden. lol
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| 3/2/2008 11:40:26 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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wolfcub713
Poynette, WI
age: 52
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  How do you move on at our age
[Edited 3/2/2008 11:42:05 AM]
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| 3/2/2008 11:47:35 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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settee
Denton, TX
age: 54
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Hobokengirl - I used to say you were the funniest one on here, now I've decided your the smartest one, too.
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| 3/2/2008 11:50:20 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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bambino2
Monmouth Beach, NJ
age: 61
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Shalah; Expectations? I would think and hope that specific expectations are not a list of things that the s/he must stack up to, but is rather that someone who makes us happy they are part of our life. Doesn't matter if they don't fit into the niche we had reserved for that special someone, just that they ARE that special someone. We'll adjust. 
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| 3/2/2008 11:53:43 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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jangel53
Brampton, ON
age: 54
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still believing & hoping for the whole package, romance, fun, adventure, friend, sweetheart, great lover, peaceful home life, the real deal
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| 3/2/2008 11:55:08 AM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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shalah
Marshall, MO
age: 59
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awwwww you are not only the cutest little bambino but a sweet one to boot!!!
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| 3/2/2008 12:08:13 PM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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agent07
Greenville, MI
age: 57
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I fully believe at this point in my life that the "Yours,Mine and Ours" concept applies.
"Yours"...She will always have her life, her time,her freedom and her interests. Not only will I encourage it but I'd also be strongly supportive of it. I wouldn't want to smother anyone nor be a burden.
"Mine" same as above
"Ours" Those things that brought us together that are of common interest that we can build on to strengthen the relationship and nurture to be the foundation for a solid long term relationship. By focusing on this aspect together we'd start minimizing time spent in the "Yours and Mine" and trully build a relationship that would be focused on equality, caring, love and friendship.
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| 3/2/2008 12:09:55 PM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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bambino2
Monmouth Beach, NJ
age: 61
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oh c'mon shalah your making me blush. But isn't that the essence of what everyone wants?  Not a specific s/he must be this tall, and have red hair, etc. but just be? Be the one.
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| 3/2/2008 12:14:33 PM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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shalah
Marshall, MO
age: 59
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yes bambino you are right about that, still I think that for some of us at least it is a fear of the expectations of the other that has us hesitant to step out of our safty zone and try to make contact with the persons that we would like too. I thought by addressing this issue in this way to break down some barriers here.
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| 3/2/2008 12:26:19 PM |
Relationships at our age and stage in life |
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sassynclassyme
North Hollywood, CA
age: 60
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As for me, I feel fortunate to see things more clearer when it comes to relationships at my age/stage of life.
I've been through the disappointments, heartaches, and tears. And have learned to deal with only me and the part that I played..for placing blame upon another didn't get me anywhere but stuck in the same muck. And I found that if I didn't learn from my past..guess what? I'd only got to do it again at another different time with someone else until I did learn..and guess what? I did learn. 
My expectations have lowered compared to my younger years. Yet, I've not changed nor compromised those things of value and belief when it comes to a quality relationship/partnership. And as for marriage..it isn't something that I have to have or seek..it's more of a soulful union of a meaningful companionship with another. If marriage was to come about..then it would be so, as meant.
Aside from the "must haves"~~~>honesty, trust, integrity and so forth..I look at my past with all it's twists and turns that it has taken me...and I with heart..now can honestly say: I'm inviting you "in" to share your story of life with me, to accept you as you are, to be myself and to honor that always, to honor you and the part you will play in my life, to laugh, be silly, to smiles lots, to enjoy the moments shared, to explore new & old adventures together, to add to your life as much as you will add to mine and as we evolve in becoming the best of friends..we too, will be forever lovers for as long as we are fortunate to be together.
One of the many things I have learned regarding relationships and in life..is that all things do come forth when the time is right as it always has been for all things.
Favorite saying to share. "A man who is stong enough to be gentle, gentle enough to be strong, he is willing to lead or follow, work or play, laugh or be serious, share grief or celebrate...while we hold hands throughout the journey!"
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