| 3/24/2008 5:23:10 PM |
got dumped via email |
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dmack83
Cincinnati, OH
age: 43
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i posted this on another forum but now here is the actual email i
Body:
Ok, I really don't know how to write this email. You are the most wonderful person I have met in a really long long time. I knew when I met you that if this relationship doesn't work out, it's because of my issues and I am not meant to be in one. I want to be fair and honest with you so that's why I'm writing you now. To say things I have trouble verbalizing.
When I said I loved you, I truly meant it. And I feel like I need to be honest with you about some other things. I don't know why I have trouble with relationships. Sometimes I think I have been alone too long and I will never be able to let someone into my life again on a permanent basis. Sometimes I think I am having trust issues based on my past couple of years.
When I get involved with someone I care about, I feel bad right away because I know the odds are that I will end up hurting him. But I have been holding out hope that when I meet the right person, I will be able to do it. The problem is, I have met the right person, you, and I still can't do it. And I have no idea why or what is wrong with me.
In a lot of ways I feel like you don't even really know me and I feel like I barely know you. I think part of it is that I miss the freedom of being alone. My family adored you as I knew they would (what's not to love) and I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm so disappointed with myself.
There's more too. I go to see a therapist since my accident. That is where I went this morning and I didn't want to tell you. But she told me I should not be dating right now. That I need to work some things out before I can try to have a healthy relationship. She told me I need to break it off with you. That it is best for both of us.
I know you will probably hate me after you read this and I am SO sorry. I have some of your things and I need to give you the ring back too. I can put them in a bag on my front porch if you want to pick it up. Just let me know when.
I guess I don't really expect you to understand. I'm ridiculously complicated under the surface and I'm trying to work all that out but at this point, this is for the best.
The nicest thing you can do for me is to not try to talk me out of my decision because I won't change my mind
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| 3/24/2008 5:36:46 PM |
got dumped via email |
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debi01
Pasco, WA
age: 50
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I am sorry you are hurting!!!
JMO; When she said "I knew when I met you that if this relationship doesn't work out, it's because of my issues and I am not meant to be in one" Sounds to me like she was setting herself up for failure. Doesn't sound, to me, that you are to blame, in anyway! JMO
much luck in the future
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| 3/24/2008 5:37:36 PM |
got dumped via email |
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brneyes74
Loves Park, IL
age: 34
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I'm sorry that this happened to you. I wish that I could tell you why people do the stupid things that they do, but if I could, I doubt that I'd be here. The best advice that I can give is continue to believe in yourself and don't give up. Thats what I'm going with anyway.
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| 3/24/2008 5:37:42 PM |
got dumped via email |
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towtrk1
Groton, CT
age: 36
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Buddy, this is the perfect example of "It's not you, it's me" excuse of breaking up with someone?
She mentioned a ring and her family meeting you? Anything else you care to share?
The whole thing stinks of selfishness on her part. Especially the last paragraph where she tells you to not try talking her out of it. That, along with what else she writes is truly a bogus let-down. It says to me,
"...Poor me, I know I'm wrong, but dont tell me I'm not, cuz that will just show that I have nothing to back it up with, and its really not why I'm dumping you, so dont call me out on it"
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| 3/24/2008 5:39:33 PM |
got dumped via email |
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drumrman
Belmont, MA
age: 43
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dmack. i am so sorry u had to go through this.
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| 3/24/2008 5:51:24 PM |
got dumped via email |
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stella23
Lake Jackson, TX
age: 47
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Like everyone else, I'm sorry this happened to you. There may be at least a little comfort that you didn't marry her before she 'psyched' out on you. Things like this aren't gender based - they're people based. Rise above it and move on, give her exactly what she asked for (no contact) because that's how YOU'RE going to start healing.
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| 3/24/2008 6:56:41 PM |
got dumped via email |
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lin37
Comstock Park, MI
age: 37
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I'm sorry that you got such a disappointing email...and that was a little cold to do in email. Sounds like you avoided a train wreck here anyway. I hope you can see it that way.
Maybe you should write a rebuttal to that therapist since she is afterall pulling the strings here. That's too bad this lady has no spine or control of her own life. A therapist should never dictate like that. oh and tell her for me "Brevity is a virtue."
Anyway, that really sucks for you. but, again, it sounds like you'll be better off for it in the long run.
What kind of accident was it? sounds kinda weird to have to go to a therapist because of being involved in an accident (to me meaning a car accident).
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| 3/24/2008 7:08:41 PM |
got dumped via email |
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bella2020
Lebanon, OH
age: 47
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I'm sorry wish I could make your hurt go away
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| 3/24/2008 7:09:51 PM |
got dumped via email |
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wolfkeeper
Hamilton, MI
age: 46
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Wow!~ You are one of the luckiest people I know! Alot of folks get married and THEN find out their spouse is a total NUTJOB! Dont walk away from this self absorbed psycho.. RUN as FAST as you can.. and as for the stuff.. if there isn't anything like a family heirloom or whatnot.. FUHGETTABOUTIT.
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| 3/24/2008 7:10:51 PM |
got dumped via email |
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wolfkeeper
Hamilton, MI
age: 46
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Oh yeah.. the pain is a good thing.. it is what helps us not to make the same mistakes again.
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| 3/24/2008 7:21:13 PM |
got dumped via email |
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mrsmiles4444
Culpeper, VA
age: 52
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dmack....i could bring humor into this thread, to try and cheer you up with a good joke, yet I'm not going to do that. instead I sympathize with you on your lost, as it seems you really cared for this woman, yet as others have kind of expressed, it may be for the best it happend this way. She is a good person, for at the very least letting you go now, before it got too far where the pain might have been worse, so maybe you might take the postitive out of this and go on with your life. You seem like a good man, simply by what she has said in her email, so I know someone for you is out there.
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| 3/24/2008 8:04:03 PM |
got dumped via email |
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dmack83
Cincinnati, OH
age: 43
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thank you guys
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| 3/24/2008 9:13:25 PM |
got dumped via email |
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craftygirl002
Tacoma, WA
age: 39
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She sounds very confused. Obviously, she's trying to learn more about herself and why she does the things she does in an effort to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Good for her! I'm sure it's not an easy journey for her.
I wonder about her therapist, though. I'm surprised the therapist didn't help her make this a lasting relationship. If the therapist truly suggested ending the relationship, there must have been a reason for it. As others have suggested, maybe you dodged a bullet.
Regardless of the reasons for the break-up, your priority should be in meeting your own needs. Do what works for you to get over a relationship (as long as it's healthy and doesn't break someone else's heart). After being married for 12 years and going through a divorce, I can honestly tell you that it does get better in time.
Good luck.
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| 3/25/2008 9:31:10 AM |
got dumped via email |
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bocabrat
Boca Raton, FL
age: 40
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I'm sorry your hurting my friend...I'm glad you posted on here for us to share this with you! Keep your chin up, it sounds to me like she has some real serious issues to deal with though! So take care of yourself,we have all been hurt, and it is what makes all of us stronger in the end..God Bless You! Your Friend, bocabrat
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| 3/25/2008 1:22:59 PM |
got dumped via email |
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cleek
Rockville, MD
age: 28
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bah , f*ck her . reminds me of my ex. move on
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