| 3/25/2008 6:36:15 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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zachmar9
White Lake, MI
age: 39
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I have been seeing this man for about a year now, and it is the same old story, he is all wrong for me, I like him but there is just something missing. I feel like I am a last resort and as the old saying goes, something is better than nothing, well I think that is why each of us hooked up, and now, I don't want to give up the sex, the friend and be alone again, but yet I get the feeling that I am not what he wants but what he is settling for.....
On top of which, although he is not like my ex he seems to be following in the footsteps of my ex in the fact that there is lack of attention for me an lack of consideration for me, is it something I am doing, am I doomed to meet men that all act the same,
What do I do with a guy i like and want to be with but feel as if he doesn't WANT to be with me, but is settling for me?
am I just b*tching and whinning???
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| 3/25/2008 6:38:50 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 48
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My Grandmother would say-follow your first mind.
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| 3/25/2008 6:41:32 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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harley68
San Antonio, TX
age: 39
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As a good friend of mine once told me... "walk away"
Be patient, keep looking until you find what you need and want in a man. Sex isn't everything, it's just a bonus. Let BOB take the place of this guy for a while. JMO
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| 3/25/2008 6:46:54 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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zachmar9
White Lake, MI
age: 39
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I tell my self every day that I am not going to anwser his calls. And I am not going to see him any more, and that I deserve better, I am worth more, but I have no will power to be alone...yet I am too decent to keep him around till something better comes along....I just can't do that to anyone, cause I wouldn't want it done to me....but how do you be alone???? especially when there is someone willing to be there....
how do I grow balls!
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| 3/25/2008 6:47:21 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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neilneo19
Shrewsbury, MA
age: 25
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Move on ,do not compromise ever ..be rest assured you would never regret 
[Edited 3/25/2008 6:48:52 PM]
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| 3/25/2008 6:48:53 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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lin37
Comstock Park, MI
age: 37
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sometimes something is not better than nothing. when you have no one, you are able to have all your me time which you could use to mold yourself into what you are comfortable with. Alone time is made for learning to be good with YOU which in turn makes you good for someone else. I don't think we should reverse that. if we make ourselves good for someone else, we will never be comfortable in our own skin.
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| 3/25/2008 6:51:12 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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lin37
Comstock Park, MI
age: 37
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in order to grow balls you have to allow yourself to feel things you are blocking out. In some cases, it's anger. In other cases, it's pain.
You are feeling guilt and responsibility right now. Don't let how he will feel if you stop answering the phone dictate how you act. You are reacting to how he MIGHT FEEL...you need to put that out of your mind and do what is best for YOU and how YOU FEEL.
He will be ok if you stop answering the phone.
You CAN do it...you just don't WANT to...and you don't want to hurt his feelings.
Again, he will be ok.
how do you be alone????? That's something you get used to. If you have to ask how you can be alone and survive, you need to be alone. In order to be good for someone else...you need to learn to be ok with you. That starts with alone time and learning how to stop feeling responsible for someone else's feelings.
[Edited 3/25/2008 6:52:58 PM]
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| 3/25/2008 6:54:43 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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jeang
Caledonia, MI
age: 49
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Think of it this way. If your dating a guy, you are with them. It doesnt give you the chance to meet other people. If you spend your weekends with a guy you are no longer sure about you are not making yourself available to meet someone more compatible. Being alone can be wonderful. Its a great time to reflect inside yourself. I feel that being alone is much better than being in a relationship that isnt working.
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| 3/25/2008 6:57:32 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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zachmar9
White Lake, MI
age: 39
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I totally hear what you are saying, and I do that, I don't really consider how he feels if I don't anwser the phone...but then I lay there late at night, and wonder, when he is going to call, and then when it gets later, I wonder why he hasn't called....and that makes me wonder if I don't feel more for him, because I do like him, and I do like spending time with him, and doing all that we do....but it is the same old rut! the same old thing I got away from in my last relationship.....and I wonder how I got here AGAIN!!!!
How do I keep hooking up and liking men that don't like me equally?
And how I dump someone I like just because they don't like me as much as I like them, and treat me the same way I have been treated for years????
it seems like a vicious circle, I can't get out of
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| 3/25/2008 6:59:34 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 44 online now!
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This is just my opinion and this may sound not kind - so it's NOT intended that way.
To me this sounds like a disrespectful and inconsiderate "friend with benefits"
That's not cool.
I can totally stand behind that being lonely is an unkind state of mind.
And nothing to be found desireable.
But - being treated with disregard and without respect?
Cannot be tolerated.
We DO teach people how to treat us.
If you choose to allow the behavior - it will increase or become worse.
Leave now while you're both still in the semi-respectful mode.
Don't settle.
But if being lonely is an issue for you- find a way to cope without making BAD choices for yourself, or your children if they're in your life.
A respectful, honorable friend with benefits.
A good handy duty "girl's best friend"
What ever.
Knitting????
But don't allow anyone to disrespect or devalue WHO you are.
What you "get" in the warm and fuzzy isn't worth the price you're paying.
JMO
[Edited 3/25/2008 6:59:58 PM]
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| 3/25/2008 7:01:26 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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harley68
San Antonio, TX
age: 39
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It takes time to get used to being alone. You'll have your good days and bad days, but you'll get threw it, stay here and hang out with us and you'll do fine.
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| 3/25/2008 7:03:20 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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zachmar9
White Lake, MI
age: 39
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you hit the nail on the head there.........but easier said than done...I have been trying for months now....
I keep hoping that he will just get bored and start spending more time with friends and I can do the chicken shit way out and hope this just fade out.....
but so far no luck....
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| 3/25/2008 7:06:19 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 44 online now!
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Stop being chicken shit, take a stand and stop the nonsense.
It's Spring!
get some cajunas, sister.
You'll feel better.
He may also.
Cut the cord.
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| 3/25/2008 7:10:28 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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lin37
Comstock Park, MI
age: 37
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the phone calls will stop. you need to just stop waiting for the phone to ring.
If he's threatening you and that's why you're on edge, call the police.
the cycle will only end when you recognise what you are doing to keep it going.
Like me with drunks. i swear last year the only guy I picked as someone to initiate contact with had a DUI or 2 or 3. Now, it doesn't happen. Start the change by thinking and KNOWING you deserve better. that is a great place to start. Look down your nose at people with mulitple DUI's or drinking problems. i hate to encourage judgmental behavior, but you have to judge the problem and the person (if they are not getting help for it. <---for all of the people here who have gotten through a problem like this...I commend you.)
I stood up to my ex. I told him one night at 12 am "DO NOT CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK." He screamed at me and hung up. He never called me again or asked me for a ride home at 2am. I grew a pair. He found someone else to take care of him in that condition.
This guy will too.
[Edited 3/25/2008 7:12:04 PM]
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| 3/25/2008 7:19:01 PM |
dump him or keep him? |
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silverspike
Belle Fourche, SD
age: 54
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going through the same thing.. hang in their and don't give in and call or answer his calls
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