| 3/29/2008 4:01:27 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 46
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| 1. Yes. |
| 2. Yes, unless he has a good excuse. |
| 3. No, your kids are yours. |
| 4. No. |
A good friend of mine invited her boyfriend of two months to celebrate her daughter's 12th birthday at a favorite restaurant. He showed up, giftless, without an excuse, and despite being given the cheque, insisted that she pay for ALL of them (including him).
He's exactly what she wants, physically (5'10",m blonde hair, blue eyes, ripped), but has a history of being "cheap" despite earling a 6 figure salary.
Should she dump him?
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| 3/29/2008 4:27:08 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 49
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 Can this even be questioned? Pass along lil doggie
Who cares if he has the "look" she likes. He's a Loser!
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| 3/29/2008 4:40:13 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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luvzhugz12
Richardson, TX
age: 42
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The gift thing after only two months is no biggie really. But to not even offer to cover himself...that's too cheap for me. And a card to show that he is thinking of someone other than himself would have been nice. You don't need to play up to the kids but at the same time they are part of the package so a little participation would be good.
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| 3/29/2008 4:55:06 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 49
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hey luvs the gift to a child on their b-day is important if you are with the moma.
It's Important to the child!
What kind of smuck doesnt bring a gift for a childs b-day!
One worth not keeping!
My kids get small gifts from my male friends that arent even dating me.
Its a nice thing to do for my boys.
However if he was my b/f and he didnt get my child a gift....Thats Not good at all.
Tells me alot about what kind of man he is.
That wouldn't be my kind of man!
I mean Get Real Here!
If by some odd chance this guy is broke..there are things he could do as a gift!
This guy isnt broke nor poor!
He's a LOSER!
[Edited 3/29/2008 4:57:34 PM]
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| 3/29/2008 4:59:31 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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onefunguy30
Twin Falls, ID
age: 30
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If he makes that kind of money he should just because. I don't make much but would bring a gift. There really is no excuse for being so cheap that bringing a smile to a childs life comes second to money.
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| 3/29/2008 4:59:57 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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57rickie
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 57
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Yes she should dump him. After 2 months of datiing he has nerve enough to behave that way.  You just don't do that...The least he could have done was given the daughter a card. And he insisted she pay for his meal....JERK, and thats being nice. I don't care how much money the guy makes, hes an A**hole. DUMP HIM, and quick
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| 3/29/2008 5:06:22 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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blondie65
Flanders, NJ
age: 43
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Sounds like he really doesnt care about your child. That should tell u where this relationship is going forward.
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| 3/29/2008 5:15:05 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
age: 55
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Only been two months, he probably hasn't spent much time with the kids.
or shouldn't have if she has only known him two months. I think the kids
shouldn't be involved with new dates until the dating has evolved into a
relationship. He could have brought a card with $10 in it, I suppose.
Should he have paid for himself? Perhaps, but then again, etiquette dictates
that the one who does the inviting pays, unless there is an agreement
otherwise before the date/meal.
I don't think expectations should be any different whether a person has money or not.
Some of my friends are rich, some are poor, some are in between. If I want to treat,
or it is my turn, it doesn't matter who it is as per their bank account.
[Edited 3/29/2008 5:23:31 PM]
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| 3/29/2008 5:19:00 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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luvzhugz12
Richardson, TX
age: 42
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I'm sorry, I should have said 'in my opinion'. I don't want my kids to have a priority on material objects and at 12 years old, they are old enough to know that relationships are not about giving and receiving material gifts. I would rather have them build a relationship based on interaction, but again that's JMO
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| 3/29/2008 5:41:15 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 88
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I would not base my *break up or not* based on this one incidence...
I would look at the other two months of interaction. How many red flags were flying?
How many things do they have in common, and enjoy? Is this really a deal breaker?
I would open communication tomorrow, and ask him, his feelings
about the relationship, including activities with the child?
Where is this going?
I do not think it has anything to do with how much or how little he makes...
what does he FEEL like is his desire to pay or gift? You cannot argue the FEELINGS
of the other party. Maybe he should have declined the dinner... and
*possible opportunity* to provide a gift,
or a card and a gift card. GIFTS are not obligatory...gifts should be from a desire
to GIVE something...
I thought I read on DH, that **the one that does the inviting,
is likely to be expected to pay for the dinner ticket**.
This should be discussed with him...not behind his back.
Wine
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| 3/29/2008 6:19:35 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 46
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I will pass this on to my friend, Sharon. All her friends are telling her to dump him, that he is cheap and will never commit to her (they are exclusive, but he keeps bringing up the "what if one of us meets someone else" question).
The only person telling her to not dump him is her ex, who wants to see her remaried so he can get out of paying alimony, most likely.
Heck, we used to be quite close friends, quite a long time ago, and when it was her son's birthday, I booked the last "dinner train (brunch)" ride out of Seattle for a party, with her kids, my kids, and us, and provided gifts (he LOVES trains and knows everything about locomotives), and paid for the lot. That's the kind of guy I am. A kid is only 8 once.
I really wish she'd find someone nice, but all she seems to meet are good looking losers of one kind or another.
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| 3/29/2008 6:38:07 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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truegrace
Hagerstown, MD
age: 52
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No, dating two months he hasnt gotten to know the child so why should he give her a gift. If he was invited as a guest to the party he should be treated as any other guest and not expected to pay his own way, if he came on his own then its his duty to pay for himself. I wouldnt call him cheap, and maybe he may splurge on them at a latter time. Only time will tell.
If that what she desires then no one has the right to question her decision, you're just a friend, so back off him or you may loose a friend.
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| 3/29/2008 6:39:50 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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eyeswideopened
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 43
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Sweetie, we all seem to agree on this, however, regardless of what we say or how we express this to your friend, only she will make the ultimate decision to dump him.
The more you push, the more resentful she will become. She is an adult and has to make her decisions for herself. That's how we learn.
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| 3/29/2008 6:42:52 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 46
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Well, she asked for opinions, which is why I took the poll, and I did tell her that it is more telling how he treats her on her birthday which is coming up.
The thing is, I can tell that she is unhappy in the relationship and hopes that it will change.
But, Eyes is right: she has to come to a conclusion herself.
[Edited 3/29/2008 6:59:39 PM]
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| 3/29/2008 8:16:58 PM |
Boyfriend brings nothing to your kid's birthday party. Dump him? |
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cmjanew
Sayre, PA
age: 48
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Besides....maybe momma isn't putting out.
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