| 5/14/2008 9:13:00 AM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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frezzy
Jacksonville, FL
age: 61
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Being hearing impaired...well, it's not obvious until someone talks to me with my back turned....even when they see me on sight, a stranger...Deafness is invisible...and one of the loneliest handicaps....Yes, I have the courage, and speak my mind.
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| 5/15/2008 6:24:59 AM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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koopa351
Houston, TX
age: 27
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well lets see my disabilty is pretty much out there you can miss it im a t-12 para and have been one since i was years old but i think its been pretty easy to talk about it i guess growing up with it made it that cuz i didnt have any one like me hangig around so i was pretty much the only wheelchair rolling around school partys and what nots but certen aspects of my disabilty are hard to discusse but i havent lost friends over my disabilty they stick by me when i have to have sergury or am sick in the hospital but i think it comes down to the peoples you hang with my friends neaver treat me any difffernt than they treat them selfs you do get the wheelchair joke hear and ther but its not done out of malice its a joke and i laghe at it just like they do i have a good sence of humer about myself they know that i dont get offfened by it or get all pissy about it if im on a date i usally just act like im on a date if the person has a question they ask and i answer it no big deal im always honest about who i am i dont suger coat it so they get the whole picture and so far it hasnt sent them screaming from the cofeshop yet 
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| 5/16/2008 7:40:53 PM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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jaded75149
Mesquite, TX
age: 47
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I had a heart transplant back in January '02. When I first meet someone new, one of the first questions usually asked is "where do you work?" I don't work. So, I naturally have to tell them why....and I tell them about the transplant. Then answer any questions they have..the first is usually can I have sex? lol. It does scare the biggest majority of them off.
J
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| 5/18/2008 8:26:27 PM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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spanish_light
Elizabeth, NJ
age: 34
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Hi, I'm kind of new here.
Yes I do Have the courage, I even posted it on my profile. I have met people not from DH yet but from other sites. Dated some and now I am single again. If you want to be with someone it is better if that person can accept you for who you are, so be upfront and if some men get uncomfortable with the fact that you have a disability, then they're not worth your time. However, in order to get acceptance from others you have to accept yourself first.
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| 6/5/2008 10:33:53 AM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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bethinmi
Milford, MI
age: 36
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Most definitely, I have the courage to tell everyone and anyone who wants to know, how I overcame my obstacles. I am a 'work in progress,' and not ashamed to say it! I'm not where I want to be, I haven't yet 'arrived,' but Thank God I'm not where I used to be!   And I owe it all to My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
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| 6/5/2008 12:02:07 PM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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deano1234
Pierson, IA
age: 44
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I don't tell people right away. Gina my disabilities are not as extensive as yours. I don't want people to think I'm some sort of freak before they even get to know me. I walk, and work on 1/2 a right ankle. 13 years ago the doctors gave me 5 years to walk. I'm still walking. I know it sucks to wake everyday, and know that we will never get better, only worse. I had somebody ask me to play softball the other day. I told them I would love to, but if I do, I won't be able to walk for a week. I have no idea why some of trials on earth a harder for some than others. I only know there is no pain in the end.
I would like to think that my problems may part of my path to the right person. Take care.
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| 6/5/2008 1:04:44 PM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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bethinmi
Milford, MI
age: 36
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Right on, Deano! It will be all better, in the end. How do I know? The Book says so! Keep pressing on, brother! My friend Barb is in a similar situation, it's not her ankle, but her whole body; she has had chronic pain for about 8 years, now, ever since she had marched right into a pothole during a marching exercise in the Air Force--and shattered her left kneecap. Ever since, she has had multiple operations and lots of physical therapy, but yet the pain remains, and is even in her right knee now, too, so she has had to have both of her knees replaced, so my thoughts and prayers are with you, my brother.
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| 6/6/2008 12:03:14 PM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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mountainman7
Chattanooga, TN
age: 41
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Gina....
I am one of the mentally toughest people anyone could ever know. I've been homeless both as a child and adult. I went through my biggest challenge ever last year, after being diagnosed officially with Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. Guess what? I might have been feeling really down at the beginning, but I never gave up at all. I kept battling and fighting and refused to give in at all (even when I had the toughest of days at the beginning of my journey). I chose to be proactive, and will always be proactive in my life with these things. Life is what we choose to make of it; we create our own realities.
I have let people know up front when they look at my profile that I have AS/ADHD. In December last year before my congregation, I gave a rousing few minute speech by admitting that I have AS/ADHD and let them all know how blessed I was to have it. Because IT IS a blessing, not a curse. I am unique in who I am; one of me exists in this world. My support groups all know I have AS/ADHD, and I am not ashamed to admit it. Work though has been a different story. While more people know I have ADHD, I don't tell people I have AS there. Working in the construction industry, I deal with certain prejudices exist about people who are disabled or have "differences" (like me).
Scott
We all have been posting so much.
We all answer to the best of our knowledge.
Here's my problem.
When do you or can you even get the courage to tell that other person that you have certain disabilities?
Do you hand them a pamphlet or some papers so they can read up on it?
I myself never hide the fact that I have certain disabilities.
I tell anyone the way it is. I have no fear in expressing myself as some of you already know...LOL.
So how do anyone of you do this hard obstacle?
What is the first approach to it?
What ,if any, results have you found to have received?
I always get very good responses
things like" just because you have this doesn't make you any different than me"
" your still a very beautiful and intelligent woman"
" i love you no matter what is going on with you and I'm always here"
"all those flaws are what makes me fall for you even more"
SO PEOPLE LET"S HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND GONE THROUGH!
~GINA~
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| 6/6/2008 12:10:14 PM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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mountainman7
Chattanooga, TN
age: 41
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I have epilepsy (grand mal/tonic clonic), AS, ADHD, and guess what? I wouldn't trade those things for anything in the world. I love myself for whom I am. This is who I am. Why would I want to be anyone different? 
Scott
I don't have any severe disabilities. I'm just me.
The things i have suffered and do suffer from are:
fibromyalgia
epilepsy
sudden black outs
cfs-chronic fatigue syndrome
rls-restless leg syndrome
nothing big but sure as hell painful.
lorax: thank you very much for posting your comment.
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| 6/7/2008 3:54:44 PM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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ann38
Ellijay, GA
age: 38
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I tell people up front I am disabled and have manby medical issues. I even have in in my proifile on here. I never dated till I was about 32 and I dated online a guy for about 13 months and he came to the house to learn to take care of me. Told me my disability as not a problem till he got to the house then hew was history after a week. I learned very fast after that to go a lot slower with them I try to date on here but at the same time tell up front you have a disability and spessify what it is. My disability was and still is Spina Biffida. I have all the things trhat go with the problems but on the inside I am just a loving person who just like everyone needs a chance to have her chance at love.
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| 6/7/2008 4:49:15 PM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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mountainman7
Chattanooga, TN
age: 41
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Hey there Ms. Light. I am glad that you, like many others on here, have that courage. It's not easy in this day and age, to find someone who will look past a person's disability, "difference", or whatever. After the events which transpired in my life last year, I feel dating someone with a disability/"difference" would seem much more natural to me than someone who didn't have either. After all, if I can look past a person's disability or whatnot, that person should be able to look past mine (although mine is more neurobiological). Besides, the other person would hopefully take things slower with me than with someone who didn't have either. The same goes to guys like me in being upfront with women about what I have. You're right - if a woman is uncomfortable with knowing I have a disability, she's not worth my time either. Hence, I feel it will be easier for me to date someone who has a disability/"difference" instead of someone who has neither.
Hi, I'm kind of new here.
Yes I do Have the courage, I even posted it on my profile. I have met people not from DH yet but from other sites. Dated some and now I am single again. If you want to be with someone it is better if that person can accept you for who you are, so be upfront and if some men get uncomfortable with the fact that you have a disability, then they're not worth your time. However, in order to get acceptance from others you have to accept yourself first.
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| 6/11/2008 7:14:34 PM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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dannie_poo
Macon, GA
age: 20
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We all have been posting so much.
We all answer to the best of our knowledge.
Here's my problem.
When do you or can you even get the courage to tell that other person that you have certain disabilities?
Do you hand them a pamphlet or some papers so they can read up on it?
I myself never hide the fact that I have certain disabilities.
I tell anyone the way it is. I have no fear in expressing myself as some of you already know...LOL.
So how do anyone of you do this hard obstacle?
What is the first approach to it?
What ,if any, results have you found to have received?
I always get very good responses
things like" just because you have this doesn't make you any different than me"
" your still a very beautiful and intelligent woman"
" i love you no matter what is going on with you and I'm always here"
"all those flaws are what makes me fall for you even more"
SO PEOPLE LET"S HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND GONE THROUGH!
~GINA~
I'm always upfront and honest about me being disabled and in a wheelchair. I only explain my disability to people when they ask. I don't tell anyone about my disability if they really don't want to know. At least not at first encounter. If everything goes well during the first meeting, then we can start to get to know each other and discuss certain aspects of our lives.
I'm their pamphlet if they want to know information about my disability because I've done enough research to know what I'm talking about. I don't go into detail, I just give the basics and I answer any specific questions, as long as they are reasonable questions. If they want to do more research after that, then fine.
My disability doesn't affect my health as much as one would think. I'm not in constant pain. I don't have a certain time to eat or a certain time to be home for anything. I do take meds but that's usually taken care of so they don't know. They will, however, need to know that I can't walk and that I use a wheelchair, so plans can be made accordingly.
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| 6/12/2008 6:11:42 AM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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teddybear73
Honesdale, PA
age: 35
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Your disabilities are when you get fired from your job from doing them at work or the employer stops making money from having "one of them" employed. 
That is why. WHen you are embarrassed from waking up at another place from your help desk with the scent of piss on the floor or blood in your eye...drippin your face or a telephone pole 10 feet directly in front of you in AMish country and not knowing why. 
LET ME KNOW............(I did not hit the pole or ever hit anything. )
it is not fun..  
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| 6/12/2008 6:17:00 AM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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teddybear73
Honesdale, PA
age: 35
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But when disabled there are some options available to us citizens. Hopefully. 
Just most are not gonna make you rich. 
OUCH!
GIT R" DUN!
GOD BLESS EVERYBODY>>
[Edited 6/12/2008 6:17:31 AM]
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| 6/13/2008 11:30:17 AM |
The Courage! Do You Have It? |
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handyman4review
Cape May Court House, NJ
age: 53
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Hi Gina,
Let me say that within the circle of friends and family that knew me before my becoming disabled there is and has never been a problem. I am a very likable guy who enjoys the company of others. If you met me you'd like me. In truth people are great with me. But I am not dating them.
With that said I now address the the area of those who don't know us or never met us.
Does one just tell everybody if its not immediately apparent that you are disabled?
In my experiences most people are fine with me and my impairment. It is when on dating sites that it is noticable that it matters to many.
I guess I understand thier view point.
Women can be anomaious and just not responed. If you post it on your profile you get no responses. If you don't work because of disability and live withv a SSD income, no response or end of communication.
I am sure men are the same way. People just don't deal with it unless it affects them or someone they know well.
I think all people have an eye to the future. Even when we are not concisely thinking about it. It is a natural instinct.
I have posted that I am disabled on my profile before, I have delt with the income issue.
I have also not mentioned it untill after an exchange of emails. When I tell, we don't get to the lets meet stage.
The answer I think is we have lots of courage, we deal every day.
Another question is do others have the courage or the willingness to deal with people with disabilities in a dating/loving environment. Short term or long term, does this matter?
Just some of my thoughts
Bill
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