| 5/3/2008 10:48:38 AM |
I need some advise.... |
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sweetgrl4u24
Cohoes, NY
age: 24
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Well i met this really great guy and he is amazing in every way. We get along really well and we are really attracted to each other. But, yeah there is a but!!! He was married for 5 years and is divorced and away from each other for a little over 2 years. They have 2 children together one is 6 and the other is 3. I totally do not have a problem with that, my problem is his ex does things intentional to ruin the time we spend together.. She calls at at like 9:30 at night and tells him she is dropping the kids off when she knows we are together.. Then another situation is, she will tell him she is going to pick the kids up at a certin time and comes 3 to 4 hours later when she knows we are going to hang out. I mean I told him from the beging that I would never take time away from his children cause they come first, but his ex seems to be doing this intentional..
Let me know what ya think and has anyone been in this situation before?
I just need some advise on how to handle this...
Thanks everyone
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| 5/3/2008 10:53:31 AM |
I need some advise.... |
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wileyguy
Wilkes Barre, PA
age: 37
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it's pretty typical.my suggestion is to let it ride and it will subside.another thing is i told my ex she's only allowed to call me if it's about the kids,and she has to make it clear when she calls.
for a while,you might want to consider a sitter if you want to be together without the interuptions.or have the kids sleep at a friend's or relatives.we all can use a night away.
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| 5/3/2008 10:56:25 AM |
I need some advise.... |
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magtag
East York, ON
age: 41
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I would say first, how does she know when you are planning to have time together?
The only way this will change is if he stands up and gets control of his situation. Yes, his kids are first and you should respect that. The ex is trying to be in control of him using the kids, which sometimes happens (however wrong it is).
He should not be letting her know when you'll be together and should be developing a schedule with his ex for the time he will have his kids. All parents need to have some flexibility, but to be at her beck and call at all times seems like he is allowing her too much control of his life. He will have to figure out a way to get a regular schedule with flexibility that doesn't leave her with control of his every move.
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| 5/3/2008 11:04:01 AM |
I need some advise.... |
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smilin_bob
Broadway, VA
age: 47
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Just a suggestion.. I would recommend he and his ex work out visitation with the kids on a set schedule and get it in writing. It will also help the children. The kids will soon learn the schedule, and be able to plan things as they get older. A court would also welcome this kind of agreement, because they know children will benefit from it.
It appears that he is letting her get away with this interruptive behavior. The phone calls can be screened. If the phone calls become obsessive, then look into 'telephone and electronic harrasment' laws within your state. He needs to let his ex know that her actions are unacceptable.
I had an ex girlfriend that would not stop her interruptive behavior. After documenting months of this behavior, a letter from my lawyer indicated future calls, emails, and text messages from her would result in a $1000 fine per incident. It worked.
I wish the both of you the best of luck!
~smiles~
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| 5/3/2008 11:04:04 AM |
I need some advise.... |
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sweetgrl4u24
Cohoes, NY
age: 24
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I forgot some things, i have not meet the kids yet, cause i feel it is to soon and i just want to get to know him. They do have set days they split the kids 50/50. So the days he has the children i am not there, but it is the days he don't that i am. I am not sure how she knows when i am going to be there, he never tells her. Me and him have talked about this and he said that he is going to talk to her but it just seems like she is doing this to control him like u guys said.. I mean i know what i am getting my self into with and like i said i respect his kids. I know his ex is with someone, so i am not sure why she is doing this....
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| 5/3/2008 11:13:24 AM |
I need some advise.... |
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nicksterdemus
Little Rock, AR
age: 50
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I advise that you need some advice...
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| 5/3/2008 11:34:28 AM |
I need some advise.... |
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sweetgrl4u24
Cohoes, NY
age: 24
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thanks that is what i am trying to do!!
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| 5/3/2008 11:39:53 AM |
I need some advise.... |
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theduck72904
Poughkeepsie, NY
age: 27
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thanks for the post jaimie it def explains alot  
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| 5/3/2008 11:47:58 AM |
I need some advise.... |
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tfortexas
Big Sandy, TX
age: 56
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Simple....your next date have him to hire a babbysitter cause you know its coming.
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| 5/3/2008 3:36:46 PM |
I need some advise.... |
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classicsfan
Charlottetown, PE
age: 51
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You need to do your best to keep this from impacting your relationship with your man. My ex used to use the kids as pawns constantly. I saw my role as doing the best I could to protect the kids from their mother. As they grew up, they eventually saw her for what she is.
Good luck
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| 5/3/2008 3:40:52 PM |
I need some advise.... |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 47
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He is allowing her to control him by call at any time for any reason. Only reason should there be an emergency or an issue about the children. If she continues then it is harrassment and a restraining order can be put in place. Give a warning and if she doesn't get the message then follow through.
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| 5/3/2008 8:16:52 PM |
I need some advise.... |
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splitlicker
Stockbridge, GA
age: 44
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You cant handle it he has to
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| 5/3/2008 8:39:23 PM |
I need some advise.... |
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yedjh
Syracuse, NY
age: 37
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My ex now 7 years is always late picking up the kids or brings them home early and blah, blah, blah. Try not to let it get to you. Sometimes things do really come up and situations change along with plans. Try not to let it get to you. If the guy really is great it will all work out.
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