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| 5/18/2008 9:01:00 PM |
When Is The First Kiss?..The First Real Kiss?..And so on? |
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misbnme
Clarksburg, WV
age: 52
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Wasn't trying to be smart either..
just pointing out you posted in your profile that you want a relationship..
not someone who wants to be friends first..
They are merely stating what they want..
as you are stating what you want.
Why does that make them ''controlling'' and you not?
see?
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| 5/19/2008 4:20:45 PM |
When Is The First Kiss?..The First Real Kiss?..And so on? |
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johnterry
Grafton, WV
age: 45
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"Friends First" is not in my opinion a controling opening factor, put more of an undifing condition upon not wanting to be of exclussive domain to another, but at the same time wanting the other to exclussive but not saying so. This is a reality that I have already expereinced with three friends, that I have just lost. The word "Friends" ia as you said Misbnme is the correct meaning, but not limited to just two people, the proper limiting factor would be "Friend" not "Friends".
Still, it is a rule never the less, If you goto my blog intitled "The Hunters In The Field", you never find the word friend ever used. If two people enter into an Old Fashion Courtship, you'll also see that friend again is never used. Two merried people are not friends, they may view or even refere to each other as such, but they in fact are not. Frineds are not expected to be held by any form of commitment just basic availbe companionship with common interests, it's a totally open relationship of which is mutual.
Another note: Friends are not instantly made, it also is a relationship that is developed over time on a totally different plane with no expectations with the exception of being there for communication, moral support and maybe a helping hand from time to time, nothing more. To say my partner is my friend, is to place them on the same plane as your nieghbor next door of who you may share coffee or beer with, conversations, maybe gals go shopping, guys fishing and hunting, but, that's about all.
The use of the phrase "lets start out as friends" is to keep the relationship open to meet others rather than to say it more directly, "I want to start up an simple open relationship with someone" would be much clearer and more defining to what they really are looking for and not left up to general interpertaion.
In this disscussion, the intent is to define by clear means what is wanted and what is the true intent, in order to arrive to the First kiss. How many friends do you have in here and how many of them have you kissed?
How many friends do you have not in here, and how many of them have you kissed?
[Edited 5/19/2008 4:41:51 PM]
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| 5/20/2008 4:33:24 AM |
When Is The First Kiss?..The First Real Kiss?..And so on? |
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quiethomebody
Mount Nebo, WV
age: 48 online now!
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I have been reading this one for awhile, and see that you are totally and completely confused by words. You believe that if someone states that they want friendship in the relationship that there is no way that it may move beyond that. Have you thought that maybe, just maybe, you are the one that has kept your female friends at bay because you have only thought of them as a drinking buddy or someone to hang with? Have you ever tried to just ask them if it is possible for a deeper relationship?
As to when is the first kiss, the first real kiss question. If it starts as a friendly little peck of a kiss on cheek or lips and the person starts to get serious about a kiss you would definitely know it.
Many relationships start as friends and develop into a deeper mutual respect and love. After all, friendship could be phrased as a less intense form of love. If you do not have friendship in a relationship/marriage beyond the satisfying of sexual needs, then why even bother to get married? This is what sets us apart from the animals because we have a brain and actually use it to think.
Yes, I have friends on here that I have kissed and there is a difference in the feel of the kiss. So, just keep trying, and you WILL know the kiss when it happens.  Tammie
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| 5/20/2008 7:06:53 AM |
When Is The First Kiss?..The First Real Kiss?..And so on? |
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johnterry
Grafton, WV
age: 45
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Tammy, you are great, a little off on you perception of my understanding of words, but, just the same, a very intelligent response that made me really take notice.
My view of the people in my world comes from a basic set of rules that I follow. I fine that when I attempt to step off those rules, my world suddenly takes a new direction that is headed straight for a brick wall. I have felt more for a friend than friendship, and when I asked, I lost my friend. Not once, but too many times.
My Grandmother said to my Grandfather while in a discussion that was rather heated, Grandpa: "Oh come on Gertrude, your my best friend" Grandma: "You may pull that ____ on your friends, but you forget, I'm not your friend, I'm your wife!. That dog over there is your friend, I expect better than that from you Mr. Earl Cassell!" The Doctor told him he had lung cancer and wasn't allowed any alcahol. Grandpa drank one beer every day after his lucnh. That was all he would drink until the next day. He wanted his beer with his lunch. He is German, what else would you expect. My Grandma was German too and understood that, but she was so still in love, she didn't want to chance loosing her life long mate. 63 years they were wed. Not once did Grandpa ever appear to win an arguement. And only once, did he make the mistake, of calling her his friend.
Most men understand the meaning of the word friend, Now this any man would have no problem understanding these words:
I took this directly off a woman's profile.
[Who I'd like to meet: A man with a face on his profile and a true believers in LOVE AGAIN! I need a date for New Years!
Confident, Smart, Sexy man and/or dad with zest for life... you must love yourself and your family as well as mine. I am searching for a selfless man who cares for others as well as himself. SOMEONE WHO KEEPS MY INTEREST> must be willing to unleash your wild side in public and with me, willing to try new things... someone that looks at life as a constant learning experience... an adventure.
Don't be shy.....the next step is only a friendly conversation...not a commitment.... THAT TAKES TIME LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE!
...remember the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.] kittyrose
This I understood with absolutely no interpertation need. It was direct and clear. She knows exactly what she wants and says so. She didn't say "Let's start out as friends" she said Let us start out with friendly conversation. A Big difference in the two meanings. AND she left an invitation, that opened the door for the opportunity, of the first kiss. "Don't be shy"....."must be willing to unleash your wild side in public and with me,"
Ladies, I've been trying to tell you, that, you are talking to men, not each other. The more educated we are, the less we understand what your are wanting to say. We like it better if you would just say what you mean. And not leave it up for us to interpert. Kittyrose did just that. She talked as if she was talking face to face with man because she kept in mind that it was a man who was going to read it.
And by the way Kandy2u, what does(JMO) mean?
[Edited 5/20/2008 7:34:51 AM]
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| 5/20/2008 7:17:02 AM |
When Is The First Kiss?..The First Real Kiss?..And so on? |
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kandy2u
Belle, WV
age: 52
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I think (JMO) that what the phrase "Let's start as friends" means I don't want to hop in the sack with a guy after a few emails. Let's start slow and see if anything develops. I don't think it means let's see how many options we can accumulate before I can make my choice as to which one I want. JMO.
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| 5/20/2008 8:15:14 AM |
When Is The First Kiss?..The First Real Kiss?..And so on? |
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misbnme
Clarksburg, WV
age: 52
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Thanks Candy, you beat me to my response.
only i'd have said ''on first date'' .. instead of after a few emails.
johnterry,I would have answered your friends and kissing question but I don't think you'd have liked it. 
perhaps your best bet is when you see a lady has written "friends first",
intead of trying to interpret that into what you think it means... ask her! Makes everything a whole lot easier in the long run.
oh and JMO means "just my opinion".
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| 5/20/2008 8:57:43 AM |
When Is The First Kiss?..The First Real Kiss?..And so on? |
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johnterry
Grafton, WV
age: 45
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I thank you all for your thoughts, ideas and opinions, and thank you for clearing up (JMO) I didn't like what I was coming up with.
I think this is where I'm gonna bring this to a close. I guess I'm a little dumber than I thought, but that's ok, I see I have plenty folks around me to that are a least willing to try and teach me.
As far as the first kiss, I was lucky and got mine quick. And as far as friends first, we managed to completely by-pass this, and moved on to the begining that will hopefully takes to where we want to be, we started a courtship, and left out the friend. And if all goes well, as we both wish for, a year from now we maybe announce the day we become man and wife.
I decided to follow my Mamma's advice, "Start out the way you intend to end". So I asked her is she would be willing to be courted by an old fashion country man, in the ways of old fashion country honor and tradition. With no hesitation, her reply was yes, that's when I chanced to ask for my first kiss.
The first time we met, was on this past Thursday, in a quiet little place, enguaged in friendly conversation.
The second time we met, was on this past Sunday, in the same quiet little place, to learn of each other's intent. And that is when I recieved my first kiss, after she replied, yes.
I'm am so loking forward, to our very first date.
And from that, is just a matter of time, when we may share our first, real, kiss.
I leave the door open, for you all on this debate...Have a Marvalous, Wonderfull, hope you have a No Complaint Day! I know I will.....
Oh, I've posted my song completed on my profile "The Loving Touch Of A Woman" The same as the one that has been posted blog for the past two weeks. If you listen to it, I hope that you will it enjoyable.
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