| 9/18/2012 8:46:49 AM |
|
|
sandra_swe
Stockholm
Sweden
34, joined Jun. 2011
|
I never cry but when it happens it's usually about something very emotional and hard things in life.I'm never whiny .. I'm always happy and positive I never cry about small things.
but why are guys weird when you cry in front of them. Girls are more giving hugs and tissue and want to talk about it. But guys looks scared.
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
|
| 9/18/2012 8:50:31 AM |
|
|
joebob76
Harrisonburg, VA
39, joined Jul. 2012
|
My opinion is cuz were afraid u women might rip our heads off..
|
| 9/18/2012 8:51:00 AM |
|
|
vanir
Victoria
Australia
45, joined Mar. 2008
|
They just want you to put down the knife until you calm down a bit 
|
| 9/18/2012 8:51:21 AM |
|
|
brightguy1991
Harrison, MI
24, joined Aug. 2012
|
Because guys are taught not to cry and some of us feel that when a woman cry somehow its going to end up being our fault and hell hath no fury like a woman scorn lol
|
| 9/18/2012 8:53:59 AM |
|
|
nabba3
Binghamton, NY
38, joined Jul. 2012
|
my problem is, and i know it and try to keep it in mind when dealing with a female in tears, is that i see it as a problem to be solved. my mind will race trying to narrow done the cause, and try to fix what is making it happen, instead of just grabbing some tissues and giving a hug and listening. often, its all a dude can do.
|
| 9/18/2012 8:54:56 AM |
|
|
nabba3
Binghamton, NY
38, joined Jul. 2012
|
also, you get a chin ride.
|
| 9/18/2012 8:59:06 AM |
|
|
autumnsmile
Counce, TN
51, joined May. 2009
|
They just want you to put down the knife until you calm down a bit
What knife?Im menopausal,locked n loaded...boohoo mfer!lmao!
[Edited 9/18/2012 9:00:51 AM ]
|
| 9/18/2012 9:01:06 AM |
|
|
nondescript
Houston, TX
48, joined Jul. 2012
|
Looking at you weird when you cry doesn't mean they are scared of you...it means they think you're f**king nuts.
|
| 9/18/2012 9:03:30 AM |
|
|
autumnsmile
Counce, TN
51, joined May. 2009
|
my problem is, and i know it and try to keep it in mind when dealing with a female in tears, is that i see it as a problem to be solved. my mind will race trying to narrow done the cause, and try to fix what is making it happen, instead of just grabbing some tissues and giving a hug and listening. often, its all a dude can do.
This was one of my theories on the topic.
|
| 9/18/2012 9:13:10 AM |
|
|
sandra_swe
Stockholm
Sweden
34, joined Jun. 2011
|
I don't mean fights between men and women i mean more emotional things in life. that when someone is going to die, etc.
I have kept this secret from my date in 6 months because I know that you should NEVER EVER share feelings and personal problems in life to a guy so early. It will scare him subconsciously. Even though he may not want to, it will be a big turn off. I know now that all my chances with him are over when i start crying in front of him.
He asked me when I would leave and it just slipped out of me "as soon as possible I'll go and visit my mother who is in the hospital" and at that moment I thought "****, no, what did I said," I knew he would start asking about it and I felt panic inside because I wanted him to know "what I dealing with emotionally." He was very curious and asked why my mom was in hospital and if something had happened .. I fell silent and turned my head to the television and hid my face behind my long hair so he would not see my eyes. I answered no nothing special. He continued to ask of course, and he eventually hit my tenderest point. I just could not keep me from tears .. I started to cry there in the couch sitting next to him. He became very quiet. I replied and said that she is seriously ill and it is only a matter of time until she will die. There's nothing I can do.
I tried to constantly wipe my tears away as fast as I could to try to stop being so wimpy. I apologized and said it was so embarrassing because I did not want to cry in front of him.
He looked so scared . I said I must go and stepped up from the couch and left him. I have not heard from him in a week.
|
| 9/18/2012 9:17:45 AM |
|
|
autumnsmile
Counce, TN
51, joined May. 2009
|
btw Guys?Because you dont express yourselves in ways we understand,do you have any idea what WE think when instead of tissue n hugs and listening you get that deer in the headlights expression?
We are thinking"HOW can this not affect you?Dont you feel anything?Are you even HUMAN?
|
| 9/18/2012 9:20:12 AM |
|
|
autumnsmile
Counce, TN
51, joined May. 2009
|
also, you get a chin ride.
Well if thats the case I may burst into tears at any moment!
|
| 9/18/2012 9:25:23 AM |
|
|
autumnsmile
Counce, TN
51, joined May. 2009
|
Op,over drama or revolving drama would scare anybody,but if you cant be real with eachother from the gate,youre courting a fantasy,not the man.
|
| 9/18/2012 9:28:06 AM |
|
|
hellhound56
Conway, AR
24, joined Jun. 2012
|
I've never had that problem op.
I will admit to wanting to "fix" the problem though. My first reaction actually
But I offer a hug an shoulder to cry on.
|
| 9/18/2012 9:30:49 AM |
|
|
john487
King of Prussia, PA
45, joined Nov. 2011
|
It's not scared so much as annoyed. Unless you have a legit reason to be crying, like somebody died or got cancer. In that case a man absolutely has to give you that shoulder to cry on or that chin to ride on.
But. If you're crying because you got a bad haircut or your favorite soap couple broke up, there's really no reason your man should have to deal with that. Go get some cosmos with the girls and talk that shit out.
|
| 9/18/2012 9:34:19 AM |
|
|
autumnsmile
Counce, TN
51, joined May. 2009
|
John,crying for no apparent reason may be a sign of hormone imbalance...or pregnancy
|
| 9/18/2012 9:41:01 AM |
|
|
john487
King of Prussia, PA
45, joined Nov. 2011
|
John,crying for no apparent reason may be a sign of hormone imbalance...or pregnancy
A pregnancy is a legit reason for your man to be crying
Hormone imbalance--that's some bullshit a man can't help you with. Don't bother us with it. Not to be a d*ck, but it's not a real thing. If I can't fix it, I really don't even need to hear about it.
Unless sperm is the cure for hormone imbalance.
|
| 9/18/2012 9:56:57 AM |
|
|
autumnsmile
Counce, TN
51, joined May. 2009
|
Belly laughs!Concurring w the preg.issue!
On the hormones,no,not much you can do to fix it,and she may not be aware of the reason she cant stop crying(or b*tching),but it IS real and your life will be easier when you a)Take her to the doc and B) Just take a minute to pull her close,give her a hug n kiss.It wont kill you...unless shes doing the latter.In that case,head for the hills,send smoke signals back"Take your pill,Dear!"
|
| 9/18/2012 10:06:04 AM |
|
|
jjuk11
San Antonio, TX
29, joined Sep. 2011
|
I've never had that problem op.
I will admit to wanting to "fix" the problem though. My first reaction actually
But I offer a hug an shoulder to cry on.
This....I didn't even know this was a common problem.The only exception is if the crying is over something ridiculous or solely to get attention.
[Edited 9/18/2012 10:08:11 AM ]
|
| 9/18/2012 10:27:54 AM |
|
|
autumnsmile
Counce, TN
51, joined May. 2009
|
When Im late for my shots there aer times Ill just bust out crying.Charley will ask and Ill reply "I dunnooo!"And we ll both laugh.
|
| 9/18/2012 10:36:19 AM |
|
|
sunshinenbubble
McPherson, KS
36, joined May. 2011
|
my problem is, and i know it and try to keep it in mind when dealing with a female in tears, is that i see it as a problem to be solved. my mind will race trying to narrow done the cause, and try to fix what is making it happen, instead of just grabbing some tissues and giving a hug and listening. often, its all a dude can do.
Oh No! I think I may be part man. OP: it is not just men that have this problem. I have a "fix it" mindset as well. Cry it out, dry it up, then work it out. Unfortunately I go through the same crap Autumn is talking about,where I don't know what I'm crying about. I also absolutely despise crying in front of others. 
|
| 9/18/2012 11:48:12 AM |
|
|
chrisbrz
Wilmette, IL
40, joined May. 2011
|
Hearing a pretty Lady cry can be a unpleasant and helpless moment for many guys OP.
But having a terminally ill mother is certainly an understandably reason and any normal guy should want to comfort you for such a thing.
You shouldn't be aprehensive over letting go with such stress on you.
I think most guys distinguish a big difference over crying in the face of tragedy........and the hormonal type type situations where someone is crying for no reason.
Big Difference there.
I get annoyed by the hormonal crap, agree with the earlier poster, don't want to be involved with that.
I'll likely advise them to see a Dr.
If someone is crying and doesn't no why.
But this has nothing to do with what your describing.
You said your mother is deathly ill,
Hell id probably cry over my mother being in peril as well.
|
| 9/18/2012 12:23:43 PM |
|
|
dan9787
Laval, QC
51, joined Apr. 2011
|
I think it's because they're overwhelmed by your reaction, it's much bigger than they know how to handle. Men who are more used to emotions, feelings, being aware of what's going on in them have an easier time.
|
| 9/18/2012 1:17:10 PM |
|
|
thunder_lover71
Mount Pleasant, MI
44, joined Sep. 2008
|
Men are tought to be tuff so it is hard for use to know really what to do
|
| 9/18/2012 1:30:48 PM |
|
|
dej88
Hummelstown, PA
66, joined Apr. 2008
|
Are any of you reading before you post?
Op, I am so sorry about your Mom and about the way your BF acted. He may just be giving you some space when you needed him to hold you and let you cry. He probably doesn't know what to think since you got up and left. Maybe he was shocked that you hadn't told him before. I can't believe he hasn't contacted you since then but you need to focus on you and your Mom now. You don't need him. You need to take care of you. Losing your parents is one of the roughest times you will ever experience. And if he isn't supportive now, he doesn't know how to be.
Don't pay attention to the people here who just hijack threads and make them into a joke. It isn't personal. They do it all of the time. My thoughts are with you. 
|
| 9/18/2012 1:36:24 PM |
|
|
peekonyou
Richmond, VA
39, joined Aug. 2012
|
Sandra: I tried to constantly wipe my tears away as fast as I could to try to stop being so wimpy. I apologized and said it was so embarrassing because I did not want to cry in front of him.
He looked so scared . I said I must go and stepped up from the couch and left him. I have not heard from him in a week.
****
((((Sandra))))
I feel bad for you that he hasn't contacted you. Maybe it brought up some issues of his own. Maybe he doesn't know what to say. I'd be sorely disappointed if that was done to me.
Some men are just like that. If I cry in front of my brother for anything other than like, a death, he'll bark at me 'WHY ARE YOU CRYING!?' Which sends me bawling even more.
Yes, I've seen that look of 'fright' or more so helplessness from a guy. The best thing they can do is walk up and hug tight. I need his strength and compassion at that moment.
|
| 9/18/2012 1:45:51 PM |
|
|
cerberusdeth567
Wartburg, TN
33, joined Jul. 2012
|
I gave up trying to understand women all together long ago.
|
| 9/18/2012 3:04:49 PM |
|
|
sandra_swe
Stockholm
Sweden
34, joined Jun. 2011
|
Thanks to everyone who understands and gives good answers to me ... I have never met a man or boy who can comfort me in a good way. Not even my dad or big brother can give support when i cry. My brother has disappeared from the situation and says that he can not handle it or support the family, or my mother. He has said it's too awkward situation emotionally.
what is wrong with guys?
I still has not heard from my "friend" or "date".. I have seen that he has not even been online anywhere on the web or their phone and it has never happened before.
|
| 9/18/2012 3:13:27 PM |
|
|
boneknitter
Spring Lake, NC
30, joined Aug. 2012
|
I never cry but when it happens it's usually about something very emotional and hard things in life.I'm never whiny .. I'm always happy and positive I never cry about small things.
but why are guys weird when you cry in front of them. Girls are more giving hugs and tissue and want to talk about it. But guys looks scared.
i never had this problem.... i got big shoulders for those in need
|
| 9/18/2012 3:16:44 PM |
|
|
invinciblemuse
Alf
Germany
42, joined Jun. 2011
|
i never had this problem.... i got big shoulders for those in need
You are just perfect!! 
|
| 9/18/2012 3:17:57 PM |
|
|
boneknitter
Spring Lake, NC
30, joined Aug. 2012
|
You are just perfect!!
no babe you are.
|
| 9/18/2012 3:37:38 PM |
|
|
invinciblemuse
Alf
Germany
42, joined Jun. 2011
|
no babe you are.
You know, they're soon gonna tell us to get a room...  
|
| 9/18/2012 4:08:11 PM |
|
|
nothereyoudont
Albuquerque, NM
50, joined Jul. 2010
|
Jag antar hon gråtar om nån annan kille - inte mitt affär.
|
| 9/18/2012 4:37:43 PM |
|
|
peekonyou
Richmond, VA
39, joined Aug. 2012
|
i never had this problem.... i got big shoulders for those in need
|
| 9/19/2012 12:03:40 AM |
|
|
sunshinenbubble
McPherson, KS
36, joined May. 2011
|
Thanks to everyone who understands and gives good answers to me ... I have never met a man or boy who can comfort me in a good way. Not even my dad or big brother can give support when i cry. My brother has disappeared from the situation and says that he can not handle it or support the family, or my mother. He has said it's too awkward situation emotionally.
what is wrong with guys?
I still has not heard from my "friend" or "date".. I have seen that he has not even been online anywhere on the web or their phone and it has never happened before.
I understand your reason behind not telling him at first, but were you at a point in the realtionship where you should start trusting him? He was probably shocked (and maybe even hurt) at the news that you were dealing with something so serious & hadn't mentioned it in 6 months. Then, when he finally did hear what was going on, you left. Maybe, if this is a relationship you want to continue to persue, you could call him? I am not trying to be harsh, and I do believe that after the initial shock he could offer some support, but maybe you need to let him know you'd accept it. I am sorry to hear about your Mom.
|
| 9/19/2012 12:24:01 AM |
|
|
ronleeseberg
Mauston, WI
48, joined Jan. 2012
|
Guys are not usually equiped to deal with all the emotions that come with a woman crying.
|
| 9/19/2012 3:30:15 AM |
|
|
sandra_swe
Stockholm
Sweden
34, joined Jun. 2011
|
Jag antar hon gråtar om nån annan kille - inte mitt affär.
För en annan kille? Jag gråter inte för sånt.. Men han trampade mig på en öm punkt och allt bara rann ur mig. Helt omöjligt att hålla sig från gråt när nån börjar fråga.
Jag är mest besviken på att han inte hört av sig nu så här i efterhand och frågat hur jag mår. Det visar ju lite vad för typ av kille det egentligen är. Antingen är han en fegis eller så skiter han fullkomligt i det. Men man ska väl inte sura över det här. Försöka bita ihop och gå vidare.
|
| 9/19/2012 4:58:12 AM |
|
|
curvycharms
Starkville, MS
38, joined May. 2011
|
because seconds before all they could think about was how they were going to sex you....then you start crying and it kills their libido. Damn you!
|
| 9/19/2012 10:39:17 AM |
|
|
lowcountry23
Saint Johns, FL
34, joined Sep. 2011
|
Have you not heard the song from The Cure. Boys Don't Cry.
|
| 9/19/2012 11:41:50 AM |
|
|
r_dagger
Las Vegas, NV
49, joined Sep. 2012
|
I never cry but when it happens it's usually about something very emotional and hard things in life.I'm never whiny .. I'm always happy and positive I never cry about small things.
but why are guys weird when you cry in front of them. Girls are more giving hugs and tissue and want to talk about it. But guys looks scared.
Why do you want men to act like women? We already have those in society, they're called homosexuals.
|
| 9/19/2012 11:55:07 AM |
|
|
tcretiredhippie
Durand, WI
57, joined Apr. 2012
|
Speaking for myself, its not fear. If a person has a legit issue; of course you try to give comfort. If a person is crying because they did domething stupid and now they have to pay the price....i just look for an exit from the drama. Thats must be ehat you mean by get all weird. Not fear. allergies.
|
| 9/20/2012 12:55:36 AM |
|
|
aaron19k87
Beallsville, MD
28, joined Sep. 2012
|
Well if you r sad it's ok the guy will most likely defend u or be there for u. If your crazy well depending on how crazy it's a back away slowly to run away.
|
| 9/20/2012 1:11:25 AM |
|
|
justwaiting52
Danville, VA
55, joined Jun. 2012
|
some men are insecure, i have always tried to find something to comfort or help with any thing that would make someone cry, hell if its bad enough i may cry myself, somethings just grab your heart and squeeze tears from your eyes..
|