| 11/23/2012 9:33:28 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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temprano25
Austin, TX
28, joined May. 2012
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My birthday is coming up on Monday and I am so depressed I want to vomit. This is a pattern every year that never ends where I feel the entire world has broken my heart and I am left alone for this disease to eat away at me. And it is a disease. It is not about attitude, it is not about choice, it is a ****ing disease. I did not ask to feel this way.
In November of 2010 after I came home from Costa Rica I discovered a salsa dancing place called Gloria's full of black and Hispanic people from Honduras, Mexico, Puerto Rico, all over Latin America. In fact, last year I had a birthday there and none of my friends showed up just like they never showed up any other Saturday. I always went alone because I discovered in Costa Rica I have a likable enough persona to put out there and I'll be damned if I stayed at home and allowed it to go to waste. Most people at that place took a shine to my personality, the regulars, the band members, the staff, even some guys in security shot a smile my way. One guy in the band is from Puerto Rico, named Agripino, he calls me "crazy legs" which is good or bad depending on how you see it. When I was gone for a few weeks, he spotted my face and said I am a force of nature and that the place is just not quite as interesting without my presence. Everyone else there had their circle of friends at a table and I would walk a direct line over to them to ask for a dance, even offering lessons. Within any night, I could meet twenty different women and then forget their names two hours later. This is the confidence that Costa Rica instilled in me. Unfortunately, the one person that didn't seem to like my persona was this robotic manager with a stick in his ass. I discovered that when one night I was writing in my journal a political opinion I had at the time because I had just seen the face of Newt Gingrich on a book cover. However, other customers complained to the manager that they thought I was writing something about them. There are so many ****ing things in this world to write something about and somebody has declared themselves to be the center of the universe.
And for the record, I carry that journal like it is part of my body everywhere because I have had to adapt (or mal-adapt) to being alone. Everybody has thoughts, feelings, pain, heartbreak and these are things that need to be recorded because in 100 years, none of us are going to exist. With that said, I have counted 18 of these journals since the year 2008 and I hope one day they are discovered by more evolved species who learn there was once a man named Newt Gingrich and that somebody thought he was a putz.
Anyways, the last time I was at Gloria's, I was teaching women how to salsa dance just as I learned in Costa Rica and then one of the younger managers (who was a big fan of mine back when he was a waiter) asked me not to and I was cool with it. Then the older manager told me the same damn thing, that he was afraid somebody was going to fall and that the establishment would be sued or something. I figured he must have legit reasons for saying that so I was perfectly calm about it. I was gone for a few weeks and I go back there last Saturday night and the security guard said he is not allowed to let me in. I could tell by the look on his face he was not happy to say that to me because he knows I am a very mellow personality but the fact is management signs his paychecks.
So now I just feel lonely as hell all the time with not even a chance for a Saturday night reprieve from the pain I feel. I have practiced projecting a mellow, friendly demeanor for the world to see but when the world is not looking I am just really pissed off and nothing makes me feel better. I am pissed off at my friends for never being there, I am pissed off at the uptight, narcissistic society that I see, I am pissed off that there is a better country for me out there while I am trapped in mediocrity.
Happy Black Friday!
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| 11/23/2012 9:36:38 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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maniacmassager
Lawrence, MA
49, joined Mar. 2008
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Not until i hit 40. now i get big time bummed out. i hate birthdays. they remind me that im one year closer to dying. 
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| 11/23/2012 9:41:47 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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babyfacerooroo
West New York, NJ
28, joined Jan. 2011
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Nope...I'm looking forward to my b-day. I have a nice vacation planned. Maybe as I get older but not now.
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| 11/23/2012 9:44:14 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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fun2bchattin
Hedgesville, WV
48, joined Feb. 2011
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Nope, I look forward to it every year. I go get Thai food with friends and my kids make me dinner. 
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| 11/23/2012 9:55:20 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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idunggaveup
Cheyenne, WY
58, joined Apr. 2012
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Birthdays suck when you're alone. On my last b"day, I spent the entire day crying from pure hopelessness. I spent my last b'day alone, I know I'll spend my next b'day alone, and all the time in between. Unless I get lucky and die before then...
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| 11/23/2012 10:01:57 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
63, joined Oct. 2009
online now!
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On my last bday I was preparing for a triple bypass so you're situation could be a lot worse guy! 9 months ago this very day!
I used to say I was 29 for the 31st time or whatever it was. On that day I became 60 and not a soul was there but the nurses, no family or friends. Just me and the TV and some nurse taking my BP every hour and checking my oxygen level! I'm still not back to sleeping through the night. I had a phone. Someone could have at least called.
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| 11/23/2012 10:06:28 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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cafeovino
Arlington, TX
41, joined Jun. 2011
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I usually don't remember it;
until three days later.
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| 11/23/2012 10:07:02 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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linezha
Winnie, TX
30, joined Sep. 2011
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Every day is an accomplishment, and something to be cherished.
Your birthday is the celebration of this.
Just think, that is another experience. That's what life is...
Experiencing as much as possible.
Growing older is something to be proud of.
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| 11/23/2012 10:10:18 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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lpjessica22
Joplin, MO
25, joined Sep. 2012
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Sometimes I feel this way! My birthday is this Sunday. I'm kinda looking forward to it, but after a few milestones; it gets rather boring. It doesn't help being single, but I look at it this way. It's better to be single and love yourself than to be in an abusive relationship. I have had a lot of bad relationships and I'm going to wait until Mr. Right finds me. I'm going to focus on my education and my career. I hope you have a good birthday! It's kind of cool how close our birthdays are! November is a very popular month for birthdays! Try to be positive and look at the bright side. That's what I'm trying to do anyways! Good luck! 
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| 11/23/2012 10:19:20 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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alishababy
Framingham, MA
26, joined May. 2011
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I cried when I turned 22 -.-
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| 11/23/2012 10:21:15 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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turtledove4u
York, PA
51, joined Aug. 2009
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NOPE....I'll be 49 in January 
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| 11/23/2012 11:33:25 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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fun2bchattin
Hedgesville, WV
48, joined Feb. 2011
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NOPE....I'll be 49 in January
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| 11/23/2012 11:58:50 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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jamie624
Peoria, AZ
38, joined Apr. 2012
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I spent my last birthday home alone. I was pisst. So i sat back put a movie in and took a bath and slept.. Even shut my phone off. Made my favorite dinner..
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| 11/24/2012 12:21:06 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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amberthegreat
Perris, CA
31, joined Sep. 2012
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nope
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| 11/24/2012 12:23:24 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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mjw_6230
Louisville, KY
38, joined Apr. 2009
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its just a birthday. damn. really?
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| 11/24/2012 4:57:08 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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alterego2000
Plano, TX
35, joined Nov. 2012
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Hell no!
Woo Hoo Im going to be 33 yrs old on the 30th of this month and Im excited.
Yeah!
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| 11/24/2012 9:35:11 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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420danimal
Nuevo, CA
33, joined Aug. 2011
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Not really i started to get a lil bit of a bummer on my last birthday my 30th but then i just toked up and joined the party
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| 11/24/2012 9:36:48 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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lordlibra
Towanda, KS
39, joined Feb. 2012
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Kind of.....after I'd hit 35.
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| 11/24/2012 9:44:01 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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possibleimp
Cadillac, MI
55, joined Oct. 2012
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Hey, my birthday is on Monday too!!! And, nope, I never feel depressed when it's my birthday...you're setting yourself up to be depressed just because Monday is rolling around...(actually, most everybody will be depressed with you just because it's Monday..ha!)
My friend and I are heading over to the casino on Monday, (whereby it's polka band day there...so we get to watch all the sweet couples all dressed up and dancing....awwww)....
We'll toss back a couple of beers...play a hand or two of black jack...play a few slots...and voila!
Then, my daughter and grandsons will also celebrate me later that day...so all is well that ends well.
So, happy birthday to you and I on Monday!!!
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| 11/24/2012 10:01:17 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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pickygirl72
Phelan, CA
44, joined Sep. 2011
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Gee OP maybe you need to change some thing's in your life. Start a hobby. Volunteer. Join a writers club. We are the only one that holds the key to our locked doors. So unlock them; live, explore, find people that like the same things as you. Get rid of those no good friends of yours. I just turned 42, my husband walked out 2 yrs ago and I am a breast cancer survivor. But I am moving on. I volunteer and that's helping me gain friends. But don't get me wrong I have my lonely and sucky days, but I knew I am the only one that can change my attitude and my life.
OP its not the worlds fault your alone.....its yours, so change it!
Good luck.
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| 11/24/2012 12:35:59 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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tonyjv03
Lewes, DE
57, joined Sep. 2012
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OP man-up!!! So you're getting older the day you were born day you start getting older stop playing with yourself in your panies and Beyond man there are more important things for you to be doing than sitting at home playing with yourself feeling sorry for yourself 
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| 11/24/2012 12:46:52 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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gonedays99
Eskifjördur
Iceland
27, joined Apr. 2012
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Welcome to the materialistic and superficial ways of North America- where most people emphasis looks, are brainwashed by Disney and the media, and who throw their parents into nursing homes when they are too old to care for.
Thankfully I'm non of the aforementioned.
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| 11/24/2012 11:49:32 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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sln237
Portsmouth, VA
27, joined Oct. 2012
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I just turned 25 on Friday, and a couple of days b4 my birthday came I was depressed for a minute, but then I got over it the next day. 
I always get down on or around my birthday 2 for some reason..guess because I never really do anything.
But as we age and as life progresses, I think its normal to dread birthdays sometimes. I mean who likes aging and being reminded of getting older..NOT ME!!!
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| 11/25/2012 1:12:23 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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ronleeseberg
Mauston, WI
48, joined Jan. 2012
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No, my birthday just passed and even though I am alone, I am happy that there is hope that I will meet someone that will want me to be there for the rest of my life.
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| 11/25/2012 1:37:28 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
56, joined May. 2009
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No. I don't.
When I was 28, my cousin, who I grew up with as siblings, died. He and I were the same age. It was the single hardest thing I'd endured up until my husband died.
A few months later, I turned 29, and I celebrated, with a sad heart, but celebrated for both him and for me. I realized what a gift birthdays are, and even if my life is not going the way I want it to, I am alive. I still get birthdays.
I got over all the angst and melancholy and sense of self-importance when he died. It doesn't mean a damn thing except that I was self-absorbed.
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| 11/25/2012 11:39:34 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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draegoneer
Prudenville, MI
45, joined Nov. 2011
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Not all.
Even though it signifies another year of life for me; to me, it's just another day like any other.
Cake and ice cream for the kids because it dad's birthday!!
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| 11/25/2012 6:02:42 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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rose1206
Gilbert, AZ
33, joined Jul. 2012
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No, it makes no sense to feel depressed on my birthday for I get to experience life another year. My cousin died at 30 and uncle at 34 so you gotta cherish each day as though it is your last!
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| 11/25/2012 7:40:07 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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tinkiekitty
Bakersfield, CA
59, joined Jun. 2012
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Nope!!!!
I always plan something fun like a trip to Vegas! Went on a cruise my last two Birthdays!!!
I figure I can't stop them from coming so I might as well have fun!!!
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| 11/25/2012 7:43:38 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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jaszn
San Jose, CA
96, joined Nov. 2012
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Birthdays suck when you're alone. On my last b"day, I spent the entire day crying from pure hopelessness. I spent my last b'day alone, I know I'll spend my next b'day alone, and all the time in between. Unless I get lucky and die before then...
This touched me like its a stab at my chest.
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| 11/25/2012 7:48:29 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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jaszn
San Jose, CA
96, joined Nov. 2012
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People who tell you to man up or being emo. They don't understand your pain.
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| 11/25/2012 7:54:42 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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angelsroses26
Cheyenne, WY
21, joined Aug. 2012
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I feel that way every year on my birthday because my mom passed away when I turned 14 and it was durning my birthday party when everyone was singing happy birthday to me and to this day when people wish me a happy birthday I try to hide my tears because I don't want them to feel bad.
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| 11/25/2012 7:55:15 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
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Not until i hit 40. now i get big time bummed out. i hate birthdays. they remind me that im one year closer to dying.
I was totally the opposite. Didn't care for birthdays at all when I was young, but since I started loving my life in my thirties I enjoy them--after all, they're a celebration of having been born, and that was a necessary precedent to every other good thing in life.
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| 11/25/2012 8:02:44 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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browneyz
San Diego, CA
58, joined Jan. 2008
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I don't think your pain is about your birthday. Twenty five is about the time emotional and mental illness manifest itself. Please get checked out my your doctor. It is not about your birthday. Everyone has one and the world goes on. I buy myself something that I would not normally get, a luxury. I have a beautiful butterfly pendant, and many other pieces of special jewelry. When noone loves you, love yourself.
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| 11/25/2012 8:44:40 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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idunggaveup
Cheyenne, WY
58, joined Apr. 2012
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My birthday is so close to christmas that everybody forgets about it.
It has been like that most of my life, so kinda used to it now.
My late husband had the same problem. When he was a teen, his step mother wouldn't allow him to celebrate his b'day AT ALL. No presents, no party, not even a special dinner. So once we were married, every year I made a big production out of his birthday-and ignored xmass entirely. I don't know why so many people will ignore the b'day of friends and family, while going crazy over some nut case cultleader who died 2,000 years ago!
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| 11/26/2012 5:37:46 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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heckonwheelz
Thomasville, NC
29, joined Sep. 2012
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I know I usually get depressed around my birthday. This year was better. I had a boyfriend. Don't have him anymore.
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| 11/26/2012 7:09:59 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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water228
Wheeling, WV
42, joined Jun. 2012
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NO, I turned 40 this year and felt great about it!!!
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| 11/26/2012 8:55:32 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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moonbeams73
Grand Rapids, MN
60, joined Sep. 2009
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I am happy for every single birthday I get! A lot of people never got to live as long as I have. I appreciate every minute I am given in this world. When I was single, that didn't stop me either! I did all the things I enjoyed! It was a fun filled happy day!
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| 11/26/2012 11:23:52 AM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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dreamweaver7898
Ocean City, MD
55, joined Nov. 2012
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Yes,I do. With my birthday being the day before Xmas it gets over looked and also I get less gifts etc because they will say it is for both.. the one time that it was a good thing was for my 18th and graduation combined I got a brand new mustang.
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| 11/26/2012 3:46:38 PM |
Do you feel depressed whenever your birthday rolls around? |
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fishnthec
Mesquite, TX
63, joined Oct. 2010
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I usually don't remember it;
until three days later.
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