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6/11/2014 8:36:56 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Why?? I've talked to several guys on the site... They ask, and ask for that first date and finally after I feel that we know each other enough to meet they flake?? Or worse yet we have a great first date, and never get to date number two?? What is it?? Some tell me they love me and they still flake... Ugh! I've been out of the dating scene a long time, but why not go for it?? Has it really changed all that much??? Ladies please help me out...

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6/11/2014 8:41:10 PM Men that flake...  

mayhem1971
Indianapolis, IN
42, joined Jan. 2013


Any of them that say they "love" you so soon cannot be expected to behave rationally.

6/11/2014 8:45:58 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


The one guy that did that... he and I talked on and off for almost a year... I'm a patient girl, but seriously...

6/11/2014 8:54:29 PM Men that flake...  
synisterpoem
Orlando, FL
29, joined May. 2014


No sex on the first date can make a lot of men think you're too much work, if they're lazy impatient f**ks.

I've never flaked on someone though, but I have felt "meh" by date two if there wasn't fire.

6/11/2014 8:57:33 PM Men that flake...  

bigdinv
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,297)
Victoria, TX
34, joined Sep. 2011


Is this about dandruff?

6/11/2014 8:58:06 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Plenty of fire... I'm not easy but not a prude... Damn... I may just stay single permanently... lol

6/11/2014 8:59:58 PM Men that flake...  

barrydalmi
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,533)
Baltimore, MD
51, joined Dec. 2007


Whomever walked away from you must have "issues". Or you are that dangerous crazy beautiful woman our dads tried to warn us about.

6/11/2014 9:07:16 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Thanks, your sweet... but seriously... Idont get it... it cant be intimidation...I'm 5'2"... make my own money, raised three kids alone, no bad habits, what is it that guys want??

6/11/2014 9:11:52 PM Men that flake...  
synisterpoem
Orlando, FL
29, joined May. 2014


Who knows. You could try going on a fake date with someone you know and have them critique you? Maybe you do something really weird, like pick your nose in public or something? Lol.

6/11/2014 9:19:24 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Lol... Im in the beauty biz so I dress well, hair and make up done but not fussy, I'm fuller figured, but not too crazy, and no, I don't pick my nose... lol... Almost everyone that messages me gets a reply... yes, im that girl... I just dont get it... too normal??

6/11/2014 9:34:30 PM Men that flake...  

ttrockz55
Over 1,000 Posts (1,322)
Wickenburg, AZ
56, joined Nov. 2013
online now!


Kinda needs a mans answer...
but...i think they want it fast to get laid...but once they get to know you...it isn't right to just go there?

6/11/2014 9:36:11 PM Men that flake...  
synisterpoem
Orlando, FL
29, joined May. 2014


Rocks has a point.

When I meet girls that come off as sweethearts, It tends to bring out the gentleman in me, and then I lose interest fast because well, that shit is boring if it's someone you barely know. The sweetheart thing only really works if you're already kinda friends.

For a new meet, men want to be excited. Maybe try acting more seductive?

6/11/2014 9:42:29 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Thanks Roxxz for being the one woman that's answered... and as for being more seductive... well... I dont meet them if I want to be pen pals...

6/11/2014 9:52:09 PM Men that flake...  

jamjam777
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,176)
Van Buren, AR
45, joined Oct. 2013


Maybe the wrong type of conditioner ....it could be drying their scalp ....

6/11/2014 9:53:17 PM Men that flake...  
mrmojorisin1964
Over 1,000 Posts (1,630)
Mobile, AL
50, joined Feb. 2014


All women are attracted to men that will act like this. My guess is you have a plethora of male friends that you have friend zoned and they would probably never flake on you but you won't date them. When the hell are women going to wake up? It is ok to like badboys and idiots...but don't whine about it later.

6/11/2014 9:57:39 PM Men that flake...  

ttrockz55
Over 1,000 Posts (1,322)
Wickenburg, AZ
56, joined Nov. 2013
online now!


Quote from mrmojorisin1964:
All women are attracted to men that will act like this. My guess is you have a plethora of male friends that you have friend zoned and they would probably never flake on you but you won't date them. When the hell are women going to wake up? It is ok to like badboys and idiots...but don't whine about it later.


dude really? All women...nope.

6/11/2014 9:58:22 PM Men that flake...  

inni_dreamz
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,113)
Pasadena, CA
50, joined Nov. 2012


Quote from synisterpoem:
Who knows. You could try going on a fake date with someone you know and have them critique you? Maybe you do something really weird, like pick your nose in public or something? Lol.



Ya know, they have a MeetUp group that does that. I thought it might be fun to try it, a lot less pressure than a real date, and an interesting idea.

6/11/2014 9:58:55 PM Men that flake...  

northernboy88
Chièvres
Belgium
26, joined Jan. 2012


Its your boobies. Those men are intimidated by how awesome they look

6/11/2014 10:01:21 PM Men that flake...  

cabanaariefedd
Over 2,000 Posts (2,113)
Norcross, GA
25, joined Dec. 2012


They're crazyyou're better off getting your dates in the rl.that happens a lot with online dating cause all types of mentally unstable ppl & ppl that are already involved are on online dating sites especially free ones.

6/11/2014 10:02:22 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


And bad boys were never really my thing... yes, lots of guy friends, but I usually had dated one in the group, but only the one, I dont think its a good idea to date a friend in the same group, and I have no set type, except clean and has a job... lol... standards too high?? Lol.

6/11/2014 10:06:48 PM Men that flake...  
danicalifornia2
Over 2,000 Posts (2,284)
Northridge, CA
34, joined Jan. 2013


I call this type serial daters.......


It's a hobby for them. Go out with a bunch of different girls then never see them again..........

Pretty expensive hobby in my opinion........

6/11/2014 10:14:12 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Thanks danicalifornia... could be... the worst part about that is that I often pay, or drive to them or both... I guess i should start playing harder to get...

6/11/2014 10:17:17 PM Men that flake...  
4uijack
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,181)
New Port Richey, FL
29, joined Aug. 2013


Quote from 1moretryblueyes:
Thanks, your sweet... but seriously... Idont get it... it cant be intimidation...I'm 5'2"... make my own money, raised three kids alone, no bad habits, what is it that guys want??



Do you swallow?

6/11/2014 10:27:17 PM Men that flake...  
early_frost
Lebanon, CT
50, joined Sep. 2013


Are your photos truly representative of what you look like in person?

6/11/2014 10:37:55 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Yes... most pics were taken in the last month... one was from today... why??

6/11/2014 10:46:35 PM Men that flake...  
mrmojorisin1964
Over 1,000 Posts (1,630)
Mobile, AL
50, joined Feb. 2014


Quote from 1moretryblueyes:
And bad boys were never really my thing... yes, lots of guy friends, but I usually had dated one in the group, but only the one, I dont think its a good idea to date a friend in the same group, and I have no set type, except clean and has a job... lol... standards too high?? Lol.


Clean and a job is good but you still have to ask yourself why the men you choose to date are all losers. My guess is looks is coming way before being clean and having a job. A real good looking guy online is going to be a serial dater because good looking guys in real life do not need to go online.

6/11/2014 10:53:00 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Mr Risen... not true... I have no type... the men that are my friendssome are shorter, some older, some younger... you should probably read my profile before you judge me as stupid... or shallow... Iam neither...

6/11/2014 11:01:24 PM Men that flake...  

jamjam777
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,176)
Van Buren, AR
45, joined Oct. 2013


Nice pics^^^

6/11/2014 11:03:47 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Thank you...

6/11/2014 11:14:35 PM Men that flake...  

dances_in_woods
Over 2,000 Posts (3,853)
Henderson, TX
48, joined Mar. 2011


Quote from danicalifornia2:
I call this type serial daters.......


It's a hobby for them. Go out with a bunch of different girls then never see them again..........

Pretty expensive hobby in my opinion........


Sounds pretty accurate to me.

maybe some are looking for that 'unicorn' to come out of the forest to them or think the grass is greener on the other side of fence

6/11/2014 11:23:20 PM Men that flake...  

jamjam777
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,176)
Van Buren, AR
45, joined Oct. 2013


You are Welcome

6/11/2014 11:51:23 PM Men that flake...  
reader85037
Phoenix, AZ
39, joined Apr. 2014


Why?
Lots of reasons.
They can't live up to the image they presented.
They can't afford to date, just the fantasy.
They don't really want to date or change their life, they just wanted the fantasy for a bit.
They are insecure and can't handle scary, nerve wracking, situations.
They found someone better.
They overthought it, focusing on all their own flaws, believing that's all you will see.
They just changed their mind.
Talking to you was an escape from the stress of their life, but they had to go back and focus on their work, or school, or life, or mom, or wife, or kid.

Lots more.

They ask, and ask for that first date and finally after I feel that we know each other enough to meet they flake?
A lot of men and women come online just to get an ego boost.
One night they feel lonely and needing social validation and attention.
Then you start to talk to them.
That causes shit to be produced that makes someone feel good.
They want that to continue.

A lot of people have played too many video games and approach dating similarly.
You represent a boss level.
They play and play until they defeat you by getting you to say yes to a date.
Then they just want to go on to the next level, not restart the one with you.

Sometimes they just focus on getting you to like them, having manipulated themselves into who they need to be in order to get you to like them. But it's not really who they are, or want to be, they just feel they've "won" by getting you to pick them. They've never really considered whether or not they want you, they just wanted to feel wanted.

Sometimes they are so focused on the process of getting you to like them and accept a date they don't really pay attention to the big picture. But then they realize they just sat on the internet for a f**king year to get a date, and believe any relationship with you is pretty much going to be the same...a year of begging for an hour of fun.

worse yet we have a great first date, and never get to date number two?? What is it?
Sometimes it's not as great as you think it is, or they told you it was.
Sometimes it just doesn't work out. Or just start at the beginning of my post, it's the same reasons. People change their minds.

why not go for it?
Go for what?
Really, this question is generally answered by "people don't go through with something either because there is a lack of incentive to doing it, or the consequences of going through with it outweigh any reward."

Has it really changed all that much?
Dating hasn't changed all that much.
Online dating isn't dating.
It's not real until you are off the internet.

6/11/2014 11:58:20 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Wow... thanks for that... I guess I asked for honesty and got it... Good to know... And just fyi... no one had to beg for anything...

6/12/2014 12:28:57 AM Men that flake...  

ronleeseberg
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,814)
Mauston, WI
48, joined Jan. 2012


If there are flakes give them Selsin Blue, or Head and Shoulders.

6/12/2014 12:42:50 AM Men that flake...  

ayemie
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,770)
Granite Bay, CA
43, joined Jul. 2010


Quote from 1moretryblueyes:
Thanks, your sweet... but seriously... Idont get it... it cant be intimidation...I'm 5'2"... make my own money, raised three kids alone, no bad habits, what is it that guys want??
your height has nothing to do with being intimidating to someone. I am 4'9 when went to my 20th high school reunion I heard a lot of guys say " you are so darn cute and little but back then you were incedibly intimidating to me I could barely even say hi much less ask you out".



[Edited 6/12/2014 12:44:25 AM ]

6/12/2014 12:44:41 AM Men that flake...  

hbguy311
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,311)
Huntington Beach, CA
33, joined Aug. 2010


Wait a minute. Wait just a damn minute. Hold the phone. You actually responded to a message?

6/12/2014 12:47:26 AM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Hmmmm... Its possible I guess... thanks ayemie.



[Edited 6/12/2014 12:49:04 AM ]

6/12/2014 12:55:09 AM Men that flake...  

baileybug32
Over 1,000 Posts (1,053)
Sacramento, CA
34, joined Mar. 2013


I have had same issues off this site... who knows why they flake or never ask for a second date.. personal issues?

6/12/2014 2:59:10 AM Men that flake...  
cavie59
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,644)
Enid, OK
55, joined Feb. 2010


Quote from 1moretryblueyes:
Why?? I've talked to several guys on the site... They ask, and ask for that first date and finally after I feel that we know each other enough to meet they flake?? Or worse yet we have a great first date, and never get to date number two?? What is it?? Some tell me they love me and they still flake... Ugh! I've been out of the dating scene a long time, but why not go for it?? Has it really changed all that much??? Ladies please help me out...


When you can tell me why women do this, then you will have your answer.

6/12/2014 3:34:46 AM Men that flake...  

boyinneed
Miami, FL
50, joined Aug. 2011


Well I think...
Wait a minute...
I'm Not a Lady...

6/12/2014 4:31:17 AM Men that flake...  
mrmojorisin1964
Over 1,000 Posts (1,630)
Mobile, AL
50, joined Feb. 2014


Quote from 1moretryblueyes:
Mr Risen... not true... I have no type... the men that are my friendssome are shorter, some older, some younger... you should probably read my profile before you judge me as stupid... or shallow... Iam neither...


I am not talking about your friends, I am talking about the guys you choose to date. Everyone has a "type", so you need to sit down and think about what it was about the guys you dated that made you choose them.

6/12/2014 5:26:24 AM Men that flake...  

josfsd06
Over 2,000 Posts (2,991)
Sioux Falls, SD
55, joined Mar. 2014
online now!


They "flake" because they realize you aren't worth the effort.

6/12/2014 6:02:12 AM Men that flake...  

grneyesrme
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,346)
Sacramento, CA
46, joined Aug. 2013


I've only had one guy flake on me. His aunt was in the hospital or something. Things have changed a lot though since I last dated. Guys don't want to take women on dates anymore it seems.

6/12/2014 6:17:47 AM Men that flake...  

dances_in_woods
Over 2,000 Posts (3,853)
Henderson, TX
48, joined Mar. 2011


Had a guy flake on me before...he called me almost every day for 2wks, we had the date set up for that fri nite...he called that morning Asking if we were still on?...I said Yes. Middle of the day he called said He was excited to meet me & looking forward to it...called 1.5 hrs before date said he was still looking forward to meeting me & how excited he was but was running just a lil behind but would call me when he was on his way to restaurant so we could get there at same time then POOF... So I called him left a voicemail then he txt me ajaweko98 diwhfadjfioagd ad9w0sgjg pho droopped i39dka;dk

Piece of sh*t

6/12/2014 6:28:38 AM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Sd06... You must be a grumpy old man... I'm an old fashioned girl, but would never flake on a friend let alone someone I'm hoping to start a relatiinship with... And to say Im not worth it, well that is just rude.

6/12/2014 6:41:49 AM Men that flake...  

iheartidiots
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,628)
Grove City, OH
37, joined Feb. 2012


Quote from bigdinv:
Is this about dandruff?

Lol.

Maybe its the men your attracting.



[Edited 6/12/2014 6:42:25 AM ]

6/12/2014 6:50:39 AM Men that flake...  
firey_green1
Austin, TX
31, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from 1moretryblueyes:
Plenty of fire... I'm not easy but not a prude... Damn... I may just stay single permanently... lol


Has happened to me plenty of times... Stay strong, stay who u are... The one that won't flake will come around...

6/12/2014 7:05:14 AM Men that flake...  

josfsd06
Over 2,000 Posts (2,991)
Sioux Falls, SD
55, joined Mar. 2014
online now!


Quote from 1moretryblueyes:
Sd06... You must be a grumpy old man... I'm an old fashioned girl, but would never flake on a friend let alone someone I'm hoping to start a relatiinship with... And to say Im not worth it, well that is just rude.


I am a grumpy old man, what's your point? 'Old fashioned girl' is code for "I'm going to make you jump through all kinds of ridiculous hoops before I consider having sex with you".
You wouldn't flake on a friend? You already have. You think you're an entitled princess and believe your entitled to be pandered to.

You aren't worth it. You're far to impressed with yourself for my opinion to matter. Rude? okay. I can live with that.

6/12/2014 7:16:47 AM Men that flake...  
heather_rocks
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,699)
Winter Park, FL
32, joined Nov. 2012


This has happened to me plenty of times. Could be he just didn't feel a connection, just wanted to get laid. Also could be that men are big fat retards.

6/12/2014 7:38:09 AM Men that flake...  
georgeannlynn
Bremen, GA
42, joined May. 2011


Only date guys who are willing to drive to you for the first date. If he is really interested he won't mind. Let him pay for the first date. Offer to leave the tip. Never sleep with any guy on the first date. This site is more for forums. POF is better for dating. Its better to meet within a couple of weeks. Don't waste too much time on something that's going nowhere. Hope this helps.

6/12/2014 8:19:54 AM Men that flake...  

mrlifesagamble
Columbus, OH
33, joined Aug. 2013


Quote from 1moretryblueyes:
Thanks, your sweet... but seriously... Idont get it... it cant be intimidation...I'm 5'2"... make my own money, raised three kids alone, no bad habits, what is it that guys want??[/quote
Thats tha intimidation..I bet u act Jus as If.. & dont evn realize it.. We date women and most women do this or better yet wait til thwy feel we're qualified, then decide..by then we're already workd up or workd out and have met zme1 else wit less battle or more of smethn else..so bout time ur ready..now we make u compete.. And most women WONT so jus another man down to them!!

6/12/2014 12:46:28 PM Men that flake...  

baileybug32
Over 1,000 Posts (1,053)
Sacramento, CA
34, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from heather_rocks:
This has happened to me plenty of times. Could be he just didn't feel a connection, just wanted to get laid. Also could be that men are big fat retards.
I'm going with the last thing..

6/12/2014 12:58:01 PM Men that flake...  
mrlickzher
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,976)
Owensboro, KY
36, joined Mar. 2013


Quote from 1moretryblueyes:
Lol... Im in the beauty biz so I dress well, hair and make up done but not fussy, I'm fuller figured, but not too crazy, and no, I don't pick my nose... lol... Almost everyone that messages me gets a reply... yes, im that girl... I just dont get it... too normal??
op what u have to realize is ur looking for one man...a good man, amongst thousands of ppl..we will all certainly strike out until u meet that one..there is no rhyme or reason to it, but u have to have the backbone to accept the ones that don't work out for u...this goes for me, u and anyone else that expects to have success. .success is a slow process. ..most font have patients, but u have to in order to be successful, and the most important thing, is to not take the let downs, flakes or ppl that stand u up so serious that it upsets ya..qnd thats a hard pill to swallow. .but good folks just have to be patient and search well..ask the rghy questions.

6/12/2014 6:38:51 PM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Thanks Mr... Patience is a virtue.

6/12/2014 8:16:52 PM Men that flake...  
lookin4him2012
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,765)
Blue Diamond, NV
45, joined Jan. 2012


Quote from 1moretryblueyes:
The one guy that did that... he and I talked on and off for almost a year... I'm a patient girl, but seriously...


a whole year? I talked to a guy from a paid site once for 5 months and that was enough for me to give up. He kept promising to come see me and would come up with excuses as to why he couldn't come each time. Some people are just on these online sites for the attention. They have no intentions of ever meeting anyone. They love their life of solitude and hiding behind a computer screen.

6/12/2014 8:35:34 PM Men that flake...  

immortalpsyche
Over 2,000 Posts (2,139)
Jacksonville, FL
22, joined Aug. 2013




6/12/2014 10:25:54 PM Men that flake...  
driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (35,597)
Saint Paul, MN
62, joined Oct. 2009


They just want sex.

They don't really want a relationship.

6/12/2014 10:29:25 PM Men that flake...  
driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (35,597)
Saint Paul, MN
62, joined Oct. 2009


Full figured.

3 kids! Sure the girls are nearly grown up but does he have the money to pay for three extremely expensive weddings? Girls never get married on the cheap.

On the other hand GOOD FOR YOU for severely curtailing your dating to raise your girls!! Sounds like you made your girls your first priority and that's how it ought to be.

6/13/2014 5:50:55 AM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


Thanks driver... and yes my girls were my priority and they are amazing and respectful, so I feel the time away from dating was worth it.

6/13/2014 6:20:43 AM Men that flake...  

1moretryblueyes
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,545)
Naples, FL
43, joined Apr. 2014


And my girls are my responsibility, not anyone else... I dont expect anyone but me to help them pay for their weddings...