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^^^this and I also agree with sky it's that narcissistic

I don't care attitude that drive me away from a person.

3/4/2015 6:06:04 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

ol39er
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,283)
Cicero, IL
44, joined Jul. 2011
online now!


A lot of people in the dating world, and many happen to be women, say they are attracted to someone who exudes an attitude of not giving a damn about anything. Frankly, I don't find that attractive in the least. I see on a regular basis the effect this kind of mentality has in other areas of life, and it's never positive. When looking for someone to date, I not only think of the short-term dating experience, but also the long-term possibility of the person I choose to date becoming a significant other or even a wife. I could never imagine myself being with someone with such an attitude.

My question is twofold: What makes a person with an "I don't care" attitude attractive, and how can being with such a person bring about anything positive in the long run?

Please keep it civil and if you don't like the thread for whatever reason, don't participate in it.

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3/4/2015 6:10:23 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,864)
Eugene, OR
60, joined Mar. 2014


frankly I don't give a dang.

all jokes aside it's the easy going attitude that's attractive.I don't like most people in general BUT i care deeply for others and i don't give a dang about trivial stuff.



[Edited 3/4/2015 6:10:55 PM ]

3/4/2015 6:10:38 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
mortara
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,774)
Pittsburgh, PA
62, joined Feb. 2014
online now!


Quote from ol39er:
A lot of people in the dating world, and many happen to be women, say they are attracted to someone who exudes an attitude of not giving a damn about anything. Frankly, I don't find that attractive in the least. I see on a regular basis the effect this kind of mentality has in other areas of life, and it's never positive. When looking for someone to date, I not only think of the short-term dating experience, but also the long-term possibility of the person I choose to date becoming a significant other or even a wife. I could never imagine myself being with someone with such an attitude.

My question is twofold: What makes a person with an "I don't care" attitude attractive, and how can being with such a person bring about anything positive in the long run?

Please keep it civil and if you don't like the thread for whatever reason, don't participate in it.


I have been going over the records of the making of the movie Silence of the Lambs in Pittsburgh. Several old newspaper articles done out of town called the people living in Pittsburgh "Lambs" and I think I know why!!!!

3/4/2015 6:16:11 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

soulflight
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,550)
Baltimore, MD
54, joined Apr. 2014


I swear you are either making ths sh** up or you have met an inordinate number of weirdo's......come to think of it...


nevermind.

There are degrees of not caring about something. I don't care that you have made another thread that is not thought provoking.

3/4/2015 6:19:19 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

stanleyzee
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (37,213)
Dayton, OH
31, joined Dec. 2012


I care sometimes

3/4/2015 6:25:21 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
Champaree
Over 2,000 Posts (2,513)
Australian Capital
Australia
85, joined Jan. 2015


Quote from soulflight:
I swear you are either making ths sh** up or you have met an inordinate number of weirdo's......come to think of it...


nevermind.

There are degrees of not caring about something. I don't care that you have made another thread that is not thought provoking.




I always have this feeling that the Opie works for DH and is here only to put inane questions in the forums when the boards get boring...

3/4/2015 6:26:47 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

soulflight
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,550)
Baltimore, MD
54, joined Apr. 2014


Lol..everyone has a role to play..right...

3/4/2015 6:27:37 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

ltlwing
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,772)
Winchester, OH
52, joined Oct. 2013


Quote from playingindirt:
frankly I don't give a dang.

all jokes aside it's the easy going attitude that's attractive.I don't like most people in general BUT i care deeply for others and i don't give a dang about trivial stuff.





3/4/2015 6:33:08 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

ol39er
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,283)
Cicero, IL
44, joined Jul. 2011
online now!


Quote from playingindirt:
frankly I don't give a dang.

all jokes aside it's the easy going attitude that's attractive.I don't like most people in general BUT i care deeply for others and i don't give a dang about trivial stuff.


Interesting. Easygoing is OK, but I always thought it was the "too cool to care" attitude.

3/4/2015 6:35:05 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
b2cold
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,950)
Elk Grove Village, IL
35, joined Mar. 2014


I'm easy going and idgaf. I've learned the ability to detach from a sitution. If decide its worth could be anything. I'll take care of it. If I decide its BS I just keep moving. Its a fine line for me sometimes a difficult one. When to care show compassion or don't care and let it go.

I'd like to found someone detached not as much as me but still. Talking to over sensitive people piss me off.

For the record yes idgaf but for the most part I think positive.

3/4/2015 6:39:49 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
1sirens
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,785)
Champaign, IL
32, joined Aug. 2014




3/4/2015 6:40:14 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
miscbyproduct
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,408)
Isle Of Man
United Kingdom
19, joined Apr. 2012


without any, or much, investment what do you expect?

checkout person at the grocery store rates more excitement

some ppl jes ain't that cheaply thrilled to think "your" anything special from the get go

3/4/2015 6:48:21 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
sir_hugo_drax
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,936)
Big Timber, MT
24, joined Apr. 2014




3/4/2015 6:52:57 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

ibane
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,156)
Zanesville, OH
45, joined Feb. 2014


It's not that they don't care...they're just done being the only one who puts in all the effort.

They care until they realize it's another bust.. then they don't care.

Kinda like when I tell the lady at the bar to buy me some drinks and she might get lucky...she tells me to go fk myself.
I cared a little bit until she said that.

3/4/2015 6:54:41 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

eyesofmedusa
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (40,777)
San Antonio, TX
51, joined Jun. 2012


Bane...

3/4/2015 7:11:45 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

ibane
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,156)
Zanesville, OH
45, joined Feb. 2014


Deuce. .

Op...lets not forget..at least I tried.
And ya can't win if ya don't play.

And if no one cares in the first place..what is there to lose.

3/4/2015 7:17:13 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
vagmasterflash
Over 2,000 Posts (3,458)
Durand, WI
50, joined Nov. 2014


I don't worry about those lost f**ks. I'm real.

3/4/2015 7:19:51 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

likescareses
Eugene, OR
46, joined Feb. 2015


stop over over analyzing everything and quit nit picking I can see why women don't date you

3/4/2015 7:24:43 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
mrxriley
Oakland, CA
26, joined Sep. 2014


Her attitude doesn't matter much because people can always change. Being with her in the long run could cause her to realize you're the one who will stand by her side when the world is falling apart.

3/4/2015 7:35:42 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

mr_zipzip
Yonkers, NY
32, joined May. 2014
online now!


A bleeding heart is pathetic. Apathy creates a challenge somehow



[Edited 3/4/2015 7:36:04 PM ]

3/4/2015 7:37:09 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
boombap_808
Los Angeles, CA
41, joined Jan. 2015


Op, is there anything you do like?

3/4/2015 7:41:38 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (61,778)
Fort Payne, AL
61, joined Apr. 2011
online now!


I haven't seen where women have stated that...worded in that way.


Maybe they meant it more as happy go lucky attitude, meaning carefree and things may not get to them as much as others.

which would be more a positive attitude.

3/4/2015 7:42:21 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,864)
Eugene, OR
60, joined Mar. 2014


Quote from ol39er:
Interesting. Easygoing is OK, but I always thought it was the "too cool to care" attitude.

It's not that at all.its the little stuff that people sweat that makes them unattractive.
nobody needs that.

3/4/2015 7:48:36 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,864)
Eugene, OR
60, joined Mar. 2014


Quote from ltlwing:

Howdy ms ltlwing.

I hope all is well in your world.

3/4/2015 7:58:52 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

lucky_1million
Over 1,000 Posts (1,200)
Pewaukee, WI
49, joined Jun. 2013


I think it's supposed to be only slightly "aloof" and independent.

Personally, if I encounter an "I Don't Care" attitude... eventually I won't care either.

3/4/2015 8:11:11 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

fishnthec
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,885)
Mesquite, TX
64, joined Oct. 2010
online now!


It's not so much that I don't care about things, to me, it's more about realizing the things that I am responsible for and the things that I am not.

Naturally I care about all things that I am responsible for. And I will go so far as to say, I care about the things that I am able to have an affect on.

Regarding dating, I care enough about my own self enough to want to be on my best behavior and make the best possible impression while just being myself. And that is all I expect from my date. The more she seems to care about me, the more I naturally care about her. And that can go the opposite direction as well, and all is still OK by me.

3/4/2015 8:14:37 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

blondie855
Over 2,000 Posts (3,034)
Fort Madison, IA
60, joined Aug. 2014


Quote from fishnthec:
It's not so much that I don't care about things, to me, it's more about realizing the things that I am responsible for and the things that I am not.

Naturally I care about all things that I am responsible for. And I will go so far as to say, I care about the things that I am able to have an affect on.

Regarding dating, I care enough about my own self enough to want to be on my best behavior and make the best possible impression while just being myself. And that is all I expect from my date. The more she seems to care about me, the more I naturally care about her. And that can go the opposite direction as well, and all is still OK by me.


I gotta agree.... Only say he instead of she....

3/4/2015 8:14:44 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

machug59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,521)
Fairfield, CA
95, joined Dec. 2011


Quote from ibane:
It's not that they don't care...they're just done being the only one who puts in all the effort.

They care until they realize it's another bust.. then they don't care.

Kinda like when I tell the lady at the bar to buy me some drinks and she might get lucky...she tells me to go fk myself.
I cared a little bit until she said that.



Sorry. I didn't mean to say it so harshly. Next time try it without putting your hand on my ass.



3/4/2015 8:16:55 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
settee_m
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,379)
Dallas, TX
62, joined Feb. 2013


Quote from ol39er:


What makes a person with an "I don't care" attitude attractive, and how can being with such a person bring about anything positive in the long run?


I don't get this, it must be a trick question.

If he's not interested, why didn't he just say so.

3/4/2015 8:24:03 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

skywatcher58
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,511)
Topeka, KS
57, joined Feb. 2014


Im sorry old39er I'm confused about your question. If you are talking about a woman that "doesnt care" what doesnt she care about? You, her appearance, her kids? if you ask what do you want to do and she says "I don't care" thats different. Can you explain?

3/4/2015 8:26:21 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
settee_m
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,379)
Dallas, TX
62, joined Feb. 2013


I assumed it was a doesn't care attitude towards dating.

What, is his mother making him??!


On the contrary, OP, it would be a quick turn off to me.



[Edited 3/4/2015 8:27:59 PM ]

3/4/2015 8:27:38 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,864)
Eugene, OR
60, joined Mar. 2014


It's not that complicated.
if someone isn't doing harm to themselves, me or anyone else with their actions i could care less what they do.

It doesn't mean i would let harm come to them in their stupidity if i could help it.
you can't control everything that happens.
you can just hope people have control of their own jazz.

3/4/2015 8:28:39 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

ibane
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,156)
Zanesville, OH
45, joined Feb. 2014


Quote from machug59:
Sorry. I didn't mean to say it so harshly. Next time try it without putting your hand on my ass.



Well u were sitting on my lap by then
What did u expect .

3/4/2015 8:29:23 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

machug59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,521)
Fairfield, CA
95, joined Dec. 2011


Quote from ibane:
Well u were sitting on my lap by then
What did u expect .








3/4/2015 8:31:10 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

skywatcher58
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,511)
Topeka, KS
57, joined Feb. 2014


Thanks settee. If its a attitude of aloofness I avoid those people. Too narcissistic.

3/4/2015 8:45:40 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (46,887)
Saint Paul, MN
64, joined Oct. 2009
online now!


That kind of attitude never got me anywhere on here and neither does the steel beam on my shoulder.

I suppose the attraction is trying to win the other person over despite themselves, but isn't it usually a wasted effort even if you do eventually get the date?

3/4/2015 9:02:20 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

sweetmama117
Over 1,000 Posts (1,672)
Bronx, NY
56, joined Aug. 2013


On the contrary, OP, it would be a quick turn off to me.
3/4/2015 9:30:45 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

ol39er
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,283)
Cicero, IL
44, joined Jul. 2011
online now!


I'm beginning to think that the "I don't care" attitude varies depending on age group. Older people (at least older than me) think it means easygoing. What I see it to mean is jadedness and apathy.

3/4/2015 9:41:42 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

l380
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,249)
Alabaster, AL
43, joined Sep. 2014


Op- turn of the computer and go out and get life.
Cyberstudying people is not the same as daily interaction in real life.
Results and info will be way different.

3/4/2015 9:45:04 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

nkern55
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,475)
Oxon Hill, MD
96, joined Jun. 2014


OP are mentally challenged??

3/4/2015 10:25:15 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

norwegianwood64
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,183)
Fort Payne, AL
52, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from ol39er:
A lot of people in the dating world, and many happen to be women, say they are attracted to someone who exudes an attitude of not giving a damn about anything. Frankly, I don't find that attractive in the least. I see on a regular basis the effect this kind of mentality has in other areas of life, and it's never positive. When looking for someone to date, I not only think of the short-term dating experience, but also the long-term possibility of the person I choose to date becoming a significant other or even a wife. I could never imagine myself being with sorun?

Please keep it civil and if you don't like the thread for whatever reason, don't participate in it.


I think not caring and being aloof are two different things altogether. I think women are attracted to the aloof types more. Just because a guy doesn't text or call or worry or has his own life does not mean he doesn't care.

3/4/2015 10:40:44 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
ibeenseenitall
Over 2,000 Posts (2,583)
Weed, CA
35, joined Jul. 2014


I care a lot and sense feelings of hopelessness from others. Which leads me to questioning whether or not I should stay or should I go I know what I'm capable of just need the right woman to bring it out of me. Until then I'm running wild brothers

3/4/2015 11:31:56 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

chris_90352
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,604)
Sykesville, MD
43, joined Sep. 2010


Quote from ol39er:
A lot of people in the dating world, and many happen to be women, say they are attracted to someone who exudes an attitude of not giving a damn about anything. Frankly, I don't find that attractive in the least. I see on a regular basis the effect this kind of mentality has in other areas of life, and it's never positive. When looking for someone to date, I not only think of the short-term dating experience, but also the long-term possibility of the person I choose to date becoming a significant other or even a wife. I could never imagine myself being with someone with such an attitude.

My question is twofold: What makes a person with an "I don't care" attitude attractive, and how can being with such a person bring about anything positive in the long run?

Please keep it civil and if you don't like the thread for whatever reason, don't participate in it.


Is it a matter of an "I don't care attitude" being attractive?

Or is it a matter of people who care too much and stress out with the overbearing, intrusive anxiety of it all being a turn-off?

3/4/2015 11:32:12 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

ohdannyboy59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,578)
Arlington, TX
56, joined Sep. 2012


Turn-off. But then so is the other end of the spectrum.

3/4/2015 11:34:16 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
ibeenseenitall
Over 2,000 Posts (2,583)
Weed, CA
35, joined Jul. 2014


The responsibility lands on someone

3/4/2015 11:39:53 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
settee_m
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,379)
Dallas, TX
62, joined Feb. 2013


Two phrases come to mind that are particularly irksome, especially used repeatedly...


"I don't know."

"I don't care."

3/5/2015 12:07:56 AM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

skywatcher58
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,511)
Topeka, KS
57, joined Feb. 2014


Quote from norwegianwood64:
I think not caring and being aloof are two different things altogether. I think women are attracted to the aloof types more. Just because a guy doesn't text or call or worry or has his own life does not mean he doesn't care.
Yes that's exactly what it means. He doesnt care. It takes a few seconds to send a text message. And I wont daye a guy who acts aloof

3/5/2015 1:44:37 AM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

yetskimama
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,958)
Walterboro, SC
65, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from 1sirens:


3/5/2015 1:45:37 AM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
lilod
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,074)
Aurora, IL
49, joined Aug. 2012


I think you may be misinterpreting. I don't know anyone who claims to be attracted to people who don't care about anything. I know a number of people who are attracted to those who don't care about the opinions of strangers, social norms, etc. and follow their own interests, ethics and priorities.

3/5/2015 1:49:22 AM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
lilod
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,074)
Aurora, IL
49, joined Aug. 2012


Quote from skywatcher58:
Yes that's exactly what it means. He doesnt care. It takes a few seconds to send a text message. And I wont daye a guy who acts aloof


It makes sense that you set your own standard and won't compromise it. It doesn't make a lot of sense that you presume to be able to read the mind of and know the feelings of every person who operates differently than you do.

3/5/2015 2:36:11 AM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

soundzgood
Long Beach, CA
48, joined Feb. 2014


"APATHY" is the real meaning of when someone becomes indifferent & no longer cares enough to bother... but wont die.

The other kind of 'not care' and which is the one I think you are referring to...is the kind most commonly found in the 'rock star' or 'pop star'. It has appeal to ladies & youth because it is supposed to represent "beating the system". See, Rock stars, established gangs, criminal organizations and any one else who did their own thing ...didn't follow any rules of the common folk, don't work for anyone, sleep till 3pm, tour around the world partying & making records, dealing dope, and doing all of it with more financial means than every one else. They answer to no one & that is why ladies & the youngsters are drawn to it. It is a way that they can be free of the "normal" guy thing. Sounds stoopid but the "I don't care" attitude is based on that. Problem is that most of them don't have the talent or the connections to even be trying it. Which, as we know, constitutes : P--O--S--E--R
In this respect it is a very hideous thing to be impressed with.

3/5/2015 3:20:59 AM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

sweetnsassy1957
Valparaiso, IN
59, joined Jun. 2014


Please don't ask me if I care.

3/5/2015 4:42:59 AM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
2times2many
Over 2,000 Posts (2,264)
Greenwood Lake, NY
30, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from 1sirens:


3/5/2015 4:49:32 AM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
Elisa78
Over 1,000 Posts (1,109)
GhurianAlmería
Spain
37, joined Jan. 2015


One person only care about thing only matter to then, if dont care about anything could be a sociopath, and chop of in your sleep.

3/5/2015 6:03:35 AM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

browneyz
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (26,166)
San Diego, CA
97, joined Jan. 2008


I am very cautious meeting men on the internet. I have many reasons to be . Being cautious may

be mistaken for not caring. While most men are enthiastic in meeting new woman, stranger. I

never considered it to be a turn off. I am warm and friendly when meeting in real life. May be my problem.

3/5/2015 6:49:52 AM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
ahleah4mriris
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,012)
Fort Worth, TX
45, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from ibane:


Kinda like when I tell the lady at the bar to buy me some drinks and she might get lucky...she tells me to go fk myself.




3/5/2015 12:42:36 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,864)
Eugene, OR
60, joined Mar. 2014


people can be so uptight. If someone with a real kicked back personality bothers them then they're probably too uptight.

3/5/2015 12:48:05 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
esmeraldar
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,479)
Toms River, NJ
68, joined Jan. 2009


It's probably a facade. Women want to know what's behind the mask. Or maybe they just watch too many movies.

3/5/2015 2:29:00 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
ibeenseenitall
Over 2,000 Posts (2,583)
Weed, CA
35, joined Jul. 2014


Women care
Us men find out mainly after the fact

3/5/2015 3:07:28 PM The "I Don't Care" Attitude  
boombap_808
Los Angeles, CA
41, joined Jan. 2015


Chop your head off?

Paranoid much?