| 10/17/2008 8:25:45 AM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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feisty141
Lynchburg, VA
age: 39
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and then... he gets NO play..
I have been on a few sites and i 'read' that women are looking for this and that. I then write them and just 'try' to start a conversation.. but before it really even gets off the ground, they say something like.."oh you cant be real", or "whats wrong with you", or "why are YOU here" ie 'online' ?? so they 'ask for' this..and i seem to BE what theyre asking for but because im not ??? ugly.. girls dont 'trust me' ...so therefore I get a LOT OF LONELY time..
the very thing that women THINK gets me alllll this time WITH women.. is the very thing they use 'against me'.  I wish i could actually 'live'  MY reputation.
is it true.. nice.. good looking guys... finish 'last' ??  why ?
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| 10/17/2008 9:08:43 AM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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funnygirla
Ashburn, VA
age: 58
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Gee, you have it tough don't you. Just continue to be your good looking self and they will come.
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| 10/17/2008 9:29:42 AM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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feisty141
Lynchburg, VA
age: 39
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see.. i know that 'sounds' funny  ....but it is my life. ..if i even 'smile ' at a girl..she thinks im up to something... and yeah..i get 'shot down'... no.. they dont 'come' and actually the ones who have....havent been good..ie.. ummmm lets just say NOT ones for 'relationship'.
honestly i 'have' quit asking.... its really kinda pathetic..and since the 'guy' is SUPPOSED to be the 'initiator'... well..now not only do women thing somethings wrong with me for NOT being with someone..since ive all but stopped 'asking' .. NOW ..im gay !!
its been years since ive had the 'chance' at a decent relationship and coincidentally it was by 'accident' ...i actually asked her to go out with a friend..and she replied shed like to go out with me...had i not asked 'for him' i never would have met her...that was about 8 years ago...
soooo ?? if theyre going to come.... theyre taking their sweet time
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| 10/17/2008 10:18:13 AM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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funnygirla
Ashburn, VA
age: 58
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Maybe you are confusing your looks with how you think women see you It just gets a little harder to trust as you get older and women as well as men change and look for something deeper . I think if you would approach a nice looking woman who you felt attracted to , of course using the right approach not coming off as a playuh you would not be shot down
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| 10/17/2008 10:49:11 AM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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feisty141
Lynchburg, VA
age: 39
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well..that sounds nice.....but like i said...been over 8 years..
i am a very nice individual...but as you say it 'seems' as women get older things have happened to them and they are hurt..or distrusting from before. but as i also said the responses i have gotten have been oriented not from their past but 'at' me, primarily about superficial things.
finding that 'approachable ' woman you talk about... ?? not toooo many of them i fear, or at least our roads run parellel so as to not meet.
thats 'why' i go on line... more hopeful i can reach someone from the 'inside' rather than being presumed upon...
thanks for your input...but in my history... i have already contemplated it and its old news..
its especially hard given my line of work..i own 'wedding, formal' stores..so my clientele is 'taken' and im not unprofessional in 'hitting on' those who arent.
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| 10/17/2008 11:09:09 AM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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funnygirla
Ashburn, VA
age: 58
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I don't know if its all about women being hurt in the past, maybe for some, but women have just become more independent and well maybe they just dont want to date someone prettier than them, try to stop focusing that it is your looks intimidating women and focus more on your lovable self, good luck!!!!
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| 10/17/2008 11:13:54 AM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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jeffreyblueeyes
Springfield, VA
age: 62
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I presume you have a couple of women friends. You might ask them for some feedback on how you appear to women. You may be doing something unconsciously that sends out vibes you're not intending. Only a woman would be able to tell you that.
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| 10/17/2008 11:54:25 AM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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feisty141
Lynchburg, VA
age: 39
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thank you... i have done that.. the 'girls' that know me say i have no clue...interestingly enough i 'find' when i have met friends, like them in other settings' than just 'cold meetings' , then women arent AS threatened, but its like i said.. when just trying to 'meet' a woman...i usually dont get the time to make a substantial impression , as it seems 95% have already 'taken' one superficially...
i look for opportuniites of group settings so that women feel more comfy..as opposed to meeting one to one.. my girl friends say that until they got to know me..that again..because of 'what i looked like' ... they ' thought me' inapproachable..and even were intimidated...???
thanks for your input
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| 10/17/2008 1:54:38 PM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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firstlight
Strasburg, VA
age: 48
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Men are intimidated by my beauty all the time too.
It's a curse I tell ya!
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| 10/17/2008 1:56:50 PM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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justhorsin
Gate City, VA
age: 42
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Hey feisty, Not sounding rude or mean, but maybe you are looking at the wrong women. Yes you are a good looking man but to me thats just a plus if you have the personality and heart to go with it...Dont stop looking there are alot of us Good women still left....
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| 10/17/2008 3:11:22 PM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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latin54
Waynesboro, VA
age: 54 online now!
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Brother, I can see where you are coming from. If you get blessed with good "genes" you are perceived as a Player or that you are unapproachable.I have been having the same problem. I just try harder!
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| 10/17/2008 8:29:16 PM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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usmaybe
Lynchburg, VA
age: 48
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PERHAPS:
If the woman thinks you look more attractive than her, she may be intimidated...thinking she'll lose you someday to a more attractive woman than herself.....so she doesn't even try. And that if you contact her, it is just temporary until someone "better" comes along.
Or if she thinks she's more attractive than you, she may be looking for someone "better" herself.
If the woman thinks you are each equally attractive, then who knows.
BUT FOR ANY OF THOSE "LOOKS" ISSUES: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." We all get older, our health deteriorates, and looks fade. Sure, most of us want the magical "chemistry" to get things off and going...the "sparks"....but for myself, I want to be able to imagine growing old with a man and holding hands in our rocking chairs on the front porch with our fake teeth, canes, and artificial hips...and we still love each other just as we are. That requires more than good looks.
If you haven't met a woman who can see the man underneath just the looks, then I suppose you haven't met the right woman for you. And maybe rethink what you are looking for? Either way, don't give up.
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| 10/18/2008 9:02:11 AM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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feisty141
Lynchburg, VA
age: 39
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thank u sooo much for your reply. THATS what im talking about...ie.. what women 'say' they want... and then not giving a guy a chance to show thats 'who' he is..instead of what she perceives.
i am THE same way.... what i or anyone 'looks' like isnt something WE did.. but 'who' we are...our characters...our PERSONality that we develop and change over the years... IS about choices we have made..
beauty, whether men or women...ISNT skin Deep....its ... heart, its sweat, its tears, its what makes you laugh and that you do so more than your cynical or a skeptic.
and yes... realizing that everything that can be 'seen' is going to fade and that which you cant..is ALLLLLL that remains.
The Girl I had a great relationship with..was a former Victorias secret model... to say the least..yes a real head turner, other women were intimidated and most men wouldnt feel they were IN her league...I had perceived that men were lined up at her door.. she told me in reality she had about 2 dates a year !!! When I actually got to know her, i found she was far sweeter on the inside than any superficial beauty that anyone would notice.
I now realize esp based on one of the other comments up there..that both men and women suffer from low self esteem and it IS intimidating when we perceive our worths for how 'others' see us or .. 'dont' . both to that person are forms of rejection.
I am noticing a lot, both thru my ? and different peoples viewpoints,
I appreciate allllllllll of your comments..
thank you !
Val
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| 10/18/2008 6:31:08 PM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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funnygirla
Ashburn, VA
age: 58
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Hmmm, victorias secret model, last serious one?that being said just what is YOUR expectation in a woman?If you are telling women your last relationship was of someone of that level, uh i think they would be a tad intimidated 
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| 10/18/2008 6:41:29 PM |
WOMEN prejudge 'good looking guys' as players WHY? |
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smiles4ualways
Colonial Beach, VA
age: 52
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I dated a victoria secrets model once, but they moved her around too much. she modeled the panites,( ooo la la) and one day they changed her wig, and I didn't notice her after a while. she also didn't talk, and always was posing. they moved her from window to window and I hated having to look for her each time I went into the store.............
[Edited 10/18/2008 6:41:57 PM]
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