To nevadagary.
Nice to hear another man has the same problem. I don't have difficulty with women contacting me, but they have a mind-set and carry so much baggage they're lucky if any man could possibly meet their requirements. A relationship is 2 people. Not just one!
My wife and I had 43 years together. We were High School Sweethearts and found our match. We dated 3 years before we married. We banged heads once in a while, but you don't throw the baby out with the bath water. I've decided to look for widows instead of divorcees. I'm not the husband a lady divorced or broke up with but many of them feel all men are the same and treat you like someone they got rid of. It seems to be a constant thing. At least a widow actually knows what love is.

Nevadagary
you talk of women like they are lightbulbs!lol! either they shine or they don't...lol!!!Many women are widows because they murdered their husbands! By the way...you are kind of cute yourself!do you have anything that still shines?

very cute nevada...post an irresistible photo and a cute comment and then let the girl find out your profile is private!!!
by the way, thanks for the comment- yes, the girls were commissioned, I paint only fat women and yes I don't look far from my mirror.But since I can't talk to you because you are shy....

OK I did it so you can go and answer or whatever....I think.

In part I think its because the widow/widower still love their spouse..People who come along after don't want to live in the deceaseds shadow..it's different than getting a divorce, usually you can't stand the ex, but not so when your spouse has passed..

After our spouses die, we tend to overlook the bad and put them on a pedestal. That's not fair for the other person that is trying to get to know you. I work very hard on not bringing Mike up on everything I do but his family and I are very close. His parents want me to move on and find someone but I think that guys feel overwhelmed when they realize that Mikes family is a package deal along with my family. It is going to have to take a special guy to overlook this and accept his family as mine. Hope that makes sense.

Yep....WE wake up the next day ALONE.

THEY,....go home with their SPOUSE.

They look at each other and say,"oh,..poor 'so and so'.....and continue eating breakfast with their spouse.

WE,...eat alone,sleep alone,wake alone,etc....
WE didn't CHOOSE to be without or spouses.

I am divorced from my first wife,..WHEW!! I was HAPPY about that. Bring her up in conversation!! Are you kidding...

Big difference from having your love TAKEN from you.
All we have left are memories of what WE HAD,...and now WHAT WE LOST.
It will be an uncertain future for sure.
Those who date widowers should have some kind of respect for WE who are left behind.

Are we compairing people to our spouses,...I don't think so.
If I can be happy with a NEW LOVE,...great!

But don't expect me to erase my memories of what I used to have.

Yep....WE wake up the next day ALONE.

THEY,....go home with their SPOUSE.

They look at each other and say,"oh,..poor 'so and so'.....and continue eating breakfast with their spouse.

WE,...eat alone,sleep alone,wake alone,etc....
WE didn't CHOOSE to be without or spouses.

I am divorced from my first wife,..WHEW!! I was HAPPY about that. Bring her up in conversation!! Are you kidding...

Big difference from having your love TAKEN from you.
All we have left are memories of what WE HAD,...and now WHAT WE LOST.
It will be an uncertain future for sure.
Those who date widowers should have some kind of respect for WE who are left behind.

Are we compairing people to our spouses,...I don't think so.
If I can be happy with a NEW LOVE,...great!

But don't expect me to erase my memories of what I used to have.

I'm personally not afraid to date another widowerer. I feel that the connection of losing a spouse will not make the relation work but I do believe that in a lot of ways it may help knowing you both have been through the same thing.

Theresa

Don't know about scared, but, I'll tell you why I would never do it again, and don't know if this is a common problem.

First is the children of the widow, who in my case were very rude, disrespectful, and so self centered that it never occurred to them as to what would make their mother happy.

Second is closure. I met this woman, and we hit it off great. Within a year, things were so wonderful that we became engaged. She told me we would be married after her daughter went off to college to make it easier for us. Her daughter went off to college, and passed the torch to her brother, who proceeded to do everything to disrupt our relationship. So, then she gave me a four year rule. After four years of being together we would be married. On the last year, as our four year anniversary approached, she started acting in a manner so as to sabotage our relationship, until I couldn't take it any more, and asked for the ring back, and ended the relationship.

Turns out I was the second person she did this with. When it came down to it, this was her explanation. As long as she was just dating, her husband was in some way still alive, and she could deal with that. But, once she was married, the realization that he was gone and never coming back would be something she would have to deal with, and even after ten years, this was something she was still not able to do.

So, I don't know about concerns of others when it comes to dating a widow, but that would be mine.