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10/9/2009 10:24:05 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
lovedoesntexist
Mesa, AZ
30, joined Aug. 2009


Make no doubts about it, coming across people of the opposite sex who serve(d) in the military is becoming more socially profound. So when it comes to a military woman dating a civilian man, what is it about the relationship that does or doesn't work out? I, myself, am a military woman & find it rather difficult to find a man who isn't intimidated or afraid of dating me. What do you think? Honesty is everything...

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10/9/2009 10:33:56 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
pfcgreen
Tempe, AZ
25, joined Oct. 2009


Im a man in the military and i have a hard time finding a girl wanting a soldier but i kinda get it now why its so hard for civilians to date military personel. I believe its because our job is everything and when it comes to the military us personel we dont really have a choice weather we deploy or not. Im thinking its because we cant control what we do. But although its hard im am still proud of my actions in the Army and you should be too for which ever brach you fight for.

10/9/2009 11:17:58 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
briscoone
Chicago, IL
50, joined Jun. 2009


If that is what they want.

10/9/2009 11:41:54 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
vern00
Glendale, AZ
33, joined Jul. 2009


theres alot of factors. meet a decent person. but usually its trust. just look at it like this, ur gone alot. todays single person lacks trust. wether its the mil or civilian side. i dont know armys rotations, but navy squadrons are always gone doing det workups. and when there is always a contstant someone in the unit you can turn to or for the civialian side, always have plenty of ppl at bars and clubs. theres no trust. if the civilian person doesnt know what to expect in a military life, theyll bounce when the mil person being gone has took its toll. remember, just cause there trying to pull out of iraq, doesnt mean the wont invade iran, korea, or the next threat.

10/9/2009 5:21:54 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
rayinhawaii
Honolulu, HI
52, joined Aug. 2008


....what's the difference? It shows they have the same guts it took a man to sign up and put up with all the crap that goes along with military service. Just as long as they are feminine when off duty, it's cool with me. The butch look just doesn't do it for me.

10/9/2009 6:20:05 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
cinthianna01
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,936)
Goshen, IN
96, joined Mar. 2009


It's not a military issue, it's a human compatibility issue...

Many career choices make relationships more complicated.

10/9/2009 7:15:31 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
dghorn
Over 1,000 Posts (1,221)
Assiniboia, SK
51, joined Mar. 2009


Maybe it’s an age thing more then anything; when you are young it’s hard to not have your love there all the time. When you get older it’s still hard but you look at things different.

I look at all careers as just that a long term commitment that we all meet to do, but it will end and the things left in it wake is what really is what counts. Friend move away and have families, family members grow old and pass away, and even kids grow up and leave home, so who is left YOUR MATE.

So your overall focus should be on them. Does it really matter what they do?

Yes I can see how people would be intimidated by someones career, regardless if it’s military a CEO or a Doctor. But that’s there problem not yours, find someone that loves YOU not your job or house, or any thing it’s all about you.

10/10/2009 8:28:03 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
itsclear
Over 1,000 Posts (1,437)
Fort Mohave, AZ
53, joined Apr. 2009


I assure you, its not your occupation that scares the men off

its sleeping nude with your dog that does it

10/10/2009 10:05:03 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
msbevzie
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,798)
Oregon, OH
51, joined Aug. 2008


they are afraid of you because your doing something great, they are also wanting to be selfish and always have you there...men as well as women in a relationship cannot be faithful...


YOUR young and doing something I wish I'd have done served for this great country focus on that more so than a man...


I am a civilian who WAS married to a military man...I love that title military spouse and I also got awards from commanders for standing beside him, and keeping up the homefront BUT he chose other paths and decided being unfaithful, and having many partners was better



[Edited 10/10/2009 10:07:00 AM ]

10/10/2009 10:55:11 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
lovedoesntexist
Mesa, AZ
30, joined Aug. 2009


First off, itsclear, that particular statement had nothing to do with the forum. Secondly, that was a rude comment & will not be tolerated. How old are you? 47? Doesn't seem like it.

10/10/2009 10:56:58 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
lust4love
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,709)
Atco, NJ
44, joined Sep. 2007


Eagle to houston......Hell no. No little hell betty's. just joking ,but don't think I could handle a militant woman.



[Edited 10/10/2009 11:02:00 AM ]

10/10/2009 11:17:19 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  

bellababeegirl
Bronson, FL
27, joined Oct. 2009


well i dated someone in the military and me personel would rather date someone in the military.

10/10/2009 11:25:55 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
thebestman
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,658)
Atlanta, GA
41, joined Dec. 2006


Um, it's not an issue unless people or the one's involved make it an issue.



10/10/2009 2:23:31 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  

stl1
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,135)
Saint Louis, MO
61, joined Jun. 2007


Just read in Time magazine that 51% of 18 to 24 year olds are unemployed. Might be a factor. It's hard to have a relationship without a good job, much less no job at all. You may intimidate prospective suitors with your steady employment, your ability to kick his a** in a fight or shoot him if you start to lose.

10/10/2009 2:44:21 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
tallangel64
Over 1,000 Posts (1,313)
Lincolnton, NC
51, joined Nov. 2008


A military member is USUALLY independant, accomplished professionally, has the integrity to do whats required even when it may strain the relationship, has financial stability, must be available 24/7 for the job, and aspires to live a life that demands higher standards than is acceptable in the civilian sector. "Integrity First, Excellance in all We Do, and Service Before Self" is the Air Force motto; I served 20 years. Such a lifestyle can be intimidating to some, if not most. The ones who are not up to the challenges do not deserve the rewards of sharing a life with you.

I was married for 10 years and had all three of my children while on Active Duty. Being committed to your country and having a family is very much a possibilty during military service. My divorce had nothing to do with my military career. In fact, during the separation/divorce, the Air Force provided family counseling and a host of other support services to help us address the problems in our marriage. The military took good care of my family just as they did for me.



[Edited 10/10/2009 2:51:06 PM ]

10/10/2009 4:49:18 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
massgal12
South Hackensack, NJ
39, joined Oct. 2009


I have nothing against people in the military. However I'm not interested in having a serious relationship with someone that I may not see that often.

10/10/2009 11:23:42 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
hunter12gauge
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,044)
Bellaire, OH
52, joined Apr. 2008


There is absolutely nothing wrong with civilian men dating military women,as long as she knows the difference between her rifle and his gun. (staff sargent yelling cadence in backround) "Sir this is my rifle this is his gun,the rifles' for fighting the other for fun". Sorry I just couldn't resist. Huntr12.....



[Edited 10/10/2009 11:24:47 PM ]

10/10/2009 11:28:42 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
surrealone
Over 2,000 Posts (2,734)
Overland Park, KS
44, joined Jul. 2009


Quote from lovedoesntexist:
Make no doubts about it, coming across people of the opposite sex who serve(d) in the military is becoming more socially profound. So when it comes to a military woman dating a civilian man, what is it about the relationship that does or doesn't work out? I, myself, am a military woman & find it rather difficult to find a man who isn't intimidated or afraid of dating me. What do you think? Honesty is everything...




I like women who are accustomed to discipline!

Seriously, I was raised by a parent who served, so I received a structured and disciplined upbringing and I do actually value that in others. I also think a female who has a gun bigger than mine (no, not that kind!) is hot... I just can't help it.

You will come across men who aren't intimidated by you. They're more common than you think. The trick is finding one that is local ... and isn't taken ... and isn't the abusive a**hole that men involved in military relationships tend to be. (As I understand it from a friend who is a MP in the Army at the rank of Captain ... domestic violence among military couples is INSANELY high. *sigh*)

-- SR1

P.S. I'm too old and too far away from you ... so know this isn't an advance. The beret looks dead sexah on you...



[Edited 10/10/2009 11:34:07 PM ]

10/10/2009 11:45:36 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
crow09
Over 2,000 Posts (2,726)
Ponca City, OK
41, joined Aug. 2009


My opinion is...dating someone who is in the military is not a good idea...

Now a days way too many young punks trying too be something they ain't..

10/11/2009 9:09:27 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
sassylady2009
Warrensburg, MO
43, joined Sep. 2009


You have to be willing to sacrafice just like her...if she is told to pack up and move to another state or country..are you willing to give up your security in your job/town/etc? I am a woman in the Air Force..

10/11/2009 9:27:51 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
theothergman
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,058)
Michigan, ND
54, joined Apr. 2008


I spent 24 years in the Air Force, so I know a little bit about dating in the military. It seemed that civilian women I dated were infatuated with my uniform, rank, power, and job. They couldn't understand why at the end of the day, when I took my uniform off, why I didn't want to talk about it or draw attention to what I did for a living. Didn't understand that although the military was a part of my life, it wasn't my life. Does that make any sense?

10/11/2009 9:28:42 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
theothergman
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,058)
Michigan, ND
54, joined Apr. 2008


Quote from sassylady2009:
You have to be willing to sacrafice just like her...if she is told to pack up and move to another state or country..are you willing to give up your security in your job/town/etc? I am a woman in the Air Force..


Right on girl.

10/11/2009 9:39:01 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
dolcebella
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,787)
Richmond, VA
45, joined Sep. 2009


I personally love to travel. I would find dating a person who moved around every couple of years exciting. I'm kind of a gypsy at heart in that way and have no problem making a life for myself wherever for the most part. Not all but a lot of military personnel seem to affiliate with a polor opposite political persuasion then I do, so that would probably make it a no go from the start before we even entertained the lifestyle issues.

Apples and oranges both fruits just depends on what your preference is

10/11/2009 9:45:33 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
dolcebella
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,787)
Richmond, VA
45, joined Sep. 2009


Nonetheless OP whether your choice is a military career or a civilian job. When it comes to dating this is my mantra "I might not everybody's cup of tea, but I'm the RIGHT ones glass of champagne"



[Edited 10/11/2009 9:55:06 AM ]

10/11/2009 9:51:06 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
brockr23
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (15,401)
Chandler, AZ
39, joined Feb. 2009


It's all been said.

The only way it becomes an issue is if you and your chosen partner make it an issue.

10/12/2009 12:04:14 AM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
lino21
Tempe, AZ
27, joined Jul. 2009


well here is an example, my brother is a Marine, and has a civilian gf, she loves the fact that she has a man who loves his job and his country, as for me a civilian for now, i font no intimidation whats so ever to date a military woman. i find it embrassing that i can have someone that loves serving and wants to make a difference not only for her life but for everyone around her. thats why i found you very interesting to get to know and so far you got me very interested.

10/14/2009 3:04:28 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
im_amarillo
Amarillo, TX
57, joined Mar. 2009


Not a good idea.



[Edited 10/14/2009 3:05:03 PM ]

10/14/2009 3:09:49 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
freetom
Lincoln Park, MI
56, joined Apr. 2008


I wouldn't have any problem with that.And would support them in all ways....I was in the military and dated a women for a long time and when i got out we got married.....

10/14/2009 3:12:35 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  
freetom
Lincoln Park, MI
56, joined Apr. 2008


And congratulations for serving out country.....You have my utmost respect

10/14/2009 4:15:38 PM Civilian Men Dating Military Women... Whats Your Opinion?  

militaryguy24
Tempe, AZ
30, joined Oct. 2009


What my experience has been like is that whenever I find someone they are always worried about me be gone for however long and being a guy can I really last without sex! I believe it's the exact same for women in the military.... Also they fear attachment due to the possibility of death through our jobs!!!