| 12/27/2010 11:15:47 PM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
seekeroftruelov
Manhattan, KS
age: 42
|
For the first time since I became disabled 11 yrs ago I'm faced with dating. (being recently divorced) I'm petrified! Who's going to date a disabled person? Even my husband couldn't handle it! Does anyone have advice, encouragement or their own fears to share?
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
|
| 12/28/2010 4:35:20 AM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
easydaddy2loveu
Dayton, OH
age: 41
|
The hardest part of dealing with my own disability has been to keep myself from settling. Sometimes feel like I cant the girl Id like so Ill settle for this nut case who after 3 days will be trying to kill me.  So my advice is dont settle. Youre still a human being with needs and dreams dont settle for anything less. As for nervousness youll have to find a way to turn your weakness into your strength. Always keep positive attitudes even when/if depression(if this isnt a side affect of your disbility, you should be ahead in the game) bogs you down. Be yourself and go after whatever your heart desires. 
Chuck
|
| 12/28/2010 6:32:50 AM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
newdirection6
Wellsville, OH
age: 56
|
Your a wise man Chuck. If a person really cares for you they will look at the inside not the outside. 
|
| 12/28/2010 7:25:42 AM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
sara987654
Bremen, GA
age: 53
|
I've actually learned that as a disabled woman one must be careful about a man who wants to date you. Odd but true. My X told me that he asked me to marry him because I was disabled. He thought I would be so happy to be married that I would accept that he was mean and cruel towards me. I did accept it for a little because I was trying to work things out but I did finally say stop!
|
| 12/28/2010 7:37:20 AM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
leejeans1
Ogden, UT
age: 51
|
I have to agree with above posters, dear. I HAD to work on my belief system in order NOT to be trapped in senseless relationships. I too am very wary of the ones who want to date/marry me because what happened to Sara *above poster* that happened to me as well. All I can say, dear, live your life fully and happily, take your sweet time when meeting smeone, listen to your family and friends even your animals when they meet your *potential* dater. I wish you the best!
|
| 12/28/2010 8:59:57 AM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
plussizeprfctn
Miami, FL
age: 44
|
Your a wise man Chuck. If a person really cares for you they will look at the inside not the outside.
[Edited 12/28/2010 9:00:24 AM ]
|
| 12/28/2010 11:48:40 AM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
kyfemale_51
Lexington, KY
age: 59
|
I've actually learned that as a disabled woman one must be careful about a man who wants to date you. Odd but true. My X told me that he asked me to marry him because I was disabled. He thought I would be so happy to be married that I would accept that he was mean and cruel towards me. I did accept it for a little because I was trying to work things out but I did finally say stop!
Not *odd,* however, so true. Being a disabled woman for 38 years (today) I've found men have an ulterior motive for being with me and my other disabled girlfriends. The motives have always been to benefit themselves. Sad, *most* (not all) disabled women, can't be wanted for who we are as a person. Once the motive has been fulfilled, he leaves. That's the truth of the matter, again in most cases.
As for men, some are mistreated, but because women are nurturer by nature, men do have a better chance at finding a mate.
Again, to the women, this is not the case for all of us, but most.
[Edited 12/28/2010 11:50:19 AM ]
|
| 12/28/2010 11:58:20 AM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
easydaddy2loveu
Dayton, OH
age: 41
|
As for men, some are mistreated, but because women are nurturer by nature, men do have a better chance at finding a mate. Again, this is not the case for all women, but most.
You are being very naive here. Not meaning that to sound cruel or mean its just a fact. Ive had 2 gf's that were JEALOUS that I dont have to work. As if they would be happy if they broke their neck just to collect SSD. Now how f**ked up is that? This is another reason why I opted for a dating site rather than continue old habits. This cuts both ways however I dont believe its any easier for men is my point.
Chuck
|
| 12/28/2010 12:13:20 PM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
leejeans1
Ogden, UT
age: 51
|
Not *odd,* however, so true. Being a disabled woman for 38 years (today) I've found men have an ulterior motive for being with me and my other disabled girlfriends. The motives have always been to benefit themselves. Sad, *most* (not all) disabled women, can't be wanted for who we are as a person. Once the motive has been fulfilled, he leaves. That's the truth of the matter, again in most cases.
As for men, some are mistreated, but because women are nurturer by nature, men do have a better chance at finding a mate.
Again, to the women, this is not the case for all of us, but most.
Kudos.
|
| 12/28/2010 12:15:10 PM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
kyfemale_51
Lexington, KY
age: 59
|
You are being very naive here. Not meaning that to sound cruel or mean its just a fact. Ive had 2 gf's that were JEALOUS that I dont have to work. As if they would be happy if they broke their neck just to collect SSD. Now how f**ked up is that? This is another reason why I opted for a dating site rather than continue old habits. This cuts both ways however I dont believe its any easier for men is my point.
Chuck
Remember I did say "some" not all. You seem to have met some really F**kED up women. Sorry, but in my many years, I have seen more men with a success rate higher than, let's say, wheelchair using women.
|
| 12/28/2010 1:14:00 PM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
easydaddy2loveu
Dayton, OH
age: 41
|
Im not in a wheelchair, yet. Only over the last couple of years have I really been using my cane more and thats been begrudgingly. As I get older though its getting a lot harder to get around. Still enjoying life though and I figure thats hardest part of the battle. While I focus on trying to remain upbeat its very difficult to find a woman who is the same way.
|
| 12/30/2010 11:58:14 PM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
likethewayiroll
Auburn, GA
age: 32
|
I have been divorced for a little over 2 years, paralyzed for a little over 7 years. I have not met the one, but their are less shallow people than I thought. I have a hard time that I'm in this darn chair but it does not stop me. I'm an amazing girl and have met some amazing people. Good luck and send me note if you ever want to talk. Hugs from Ga.
|
| 12/31/2010 6:38:07 AM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
nitecaller
Edmonton, AB
age: 48
|
Hello im gonna be straight to the point as a man whose had multiple sclerosis for 28 years i had to re-educate the way i think and act there was those similar feels which you have displayed so i went at it in a different light i learned to love myself by eating better working out listening to others ie r.s Lawyers family i noticed i became excessively happy then it did not matter people wanted me to be around in fact i had to decline 2 invitation for tonight new years eve its not an easy road but if i can do it i hope you will as well
|
| 1/2/2011 7:32:20 PM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
sara987654
Bremen, GA
age: 53
|
I have to agree with above posters, dear. I HAD to work on my belief system in order NOT to be trapped in senseless relationships. I too am very wary of the ones who want to date/marry me because what happened to Sara *above poster* that happened to me as well. All I can say, dear, live your life fully and happily, take your sweet time when meeting smeone, listen to your family and friends even your animals when they meet your *potential* dater. I wish you the best!
I did take this man to my friends and their husband and my family. He fooled everyone. I should have just lived with him then I could have walked away and wouldn't have a last name that isn't me. lol
|
| 1/2/2011 8:23:26 PM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
dariese
Show Low, AZ
age: 44
|
You are first & foremost a person. I'm sure you have a lot too offer another person. Remeber one step at a time....focus on what you have, your abilities...and others will too! Best of luck to you...Dariese
|
| 1/2/2011 8:49:01 PM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
cvn65space
Albuquerque, NM
age: 55
|
I'm not sure what the definitive defination of disabled might be in 2011. I have been collecting ssa benefits since 2000. I was born in 1956. I walk, talk, drive, help with my church. I have two daughters 21 and 25, three neices from 15 days to 17 years. I do not have a mortgage, or car payments. I have three ex-wives and a trust fund. I am a corporation ( limited liability.) Highland 74, UNM 82 (Robert O. Anderson) I was diagnoised with clarks level 5 melanoma. I did 60 million units of interferon alpha-a per week for 13 months. 13 gauge IM. My father being A Capt.USN ret. Flight surgeon.home treatment was an option. Life goes on . I guess other then all the crap I just typed. I am alive. My disability is not obvious as long as i keep my shirt on. A 6x6 wide incesion is hard to cover with foundation. Oh well .My short term memory is damm I forgot. So far I have out preformed all my doctors. Why is getting a date such a challange? 
|
| 1/2/2011 8:56:23 PM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
cvn65space
Albuquerque, NM
age: 55
|
I'm not sure what the definitive defination of disabled might be in 2011. I have been collecting ssa benefits since 2000. I was born in 1956. I walk, talk, drive, help with my church. I have two daughters 21 and 25, three neices from 15 days to 17 years. I do not have a mortgage, or car payments. I have three ex-wives and a trust fund. I am a corporation ( limited liability.) Highland 74, UNM 82 (Robert O. Anderson) I was diagnoised with clarks level 5 melanoma. I did 60 million units of interferon alpha-a per week for 13 months. 13 gauge IM. My father being A Capt.USN ret. Flight surgeon.home treatment was an option. Life goes on . I guess other then all the crap I just typed. I am alive. My disability is not obvious as long as i keep my shirt on. A 6x6 wide incesion is hard to cover with foundation. Oh well .My short term memory is damm I forgot. So far I have out preformed all my doctors. Why is getting a date such a challange?
|
| 1/2/2011 9:41:27 PM |
Disabled and Dating |
|
seekeroftruelov
Manhattan, KS
age: 42
|
Wow! So many responses! Thanks for all the wonderful advice! I doubt I will date or remarry, but would like to get to the point I could trust again.
|