Your loved one's belongings

2/19/2008 1:33:58 AM	Your loved one's belongings
aurora458 Fallon, NV 60, joined Dec. 2007	My husband passed away 1 year ago and I still have some of his clothes in his closet and his clothes in his drawers. I haven't been able to completely clean my house of his belongings as I find comfort with them still there. But I have this feeling that if I have a new "date" over, he may think that I am still married and hiding something. How do you explain to someone that they are your deceased loved one's belongings and haven't gotten rid of them? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
2/19/2008 11:52:52 AM	Your loved one's belongings
faith32 Bedford, IN 56, joined Jan. 2008	Why would someone be looking in the closet & drawers? I still have pictures up & a Pepsi on the nightstand...shoes under the bed. You get rid of them when/if you want. If a date doesn't understand, then they aren't a "keeper". You can't get rid of anything if you aren't ready...if you do you will regret it later.
2/19/2008 1:13:03 PM	Your loved one's belongings
aprilviolet New Milford, CT 66, joined Nov. 2007	My husband has been gone seven years. I haven't gotten rid of everything he owned and never will. Pictures of him still adorn my bedroom wall and my kitchen fridge. I took his belongings (the ones I couldn't part with) and put them away in storage containers. The empty space I filled up with my things so it wouldn't look empty. He kept a journal and I have 30 of them tucked away in a suitcase. It is our family history. Your late husband is part of who you are and always will be. It doesn't mean though that you can't add new memories to what has already passed. I hope you find someone who understands your needs. Aprilviolet
2/19/2008 10:58:21 PM	Your loved one's belongings
star2angel Stateline, NV 62, joined Oct. 2007	I finally put my husbands clothes in a box, but his T-Shirts and P.J.'s which I wear. I have his pictures out along with his URN. I haven't got rid of anything, and I might never do that. But each person has to do what is best for them. I plan on making a quilt with some of his clothes, but just not yet, I am not at that point where I can cut up his clothes. If you have a date with anyone, explain why his stuff is still there, if they can handle it, you might just of found someone to at least be a good friend with, or maybe more. I know at times like what we have gone through, do whatever brings you comfort, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Good luck to you.
2/20/2008 6:08:26 AM	Your loved one's belongings
chooseyme Mohawk, NY 72, joined Jan. 2008	this is going to sound very harsh.... but you don't have to tell/explain/conform to anyones questions as to how you have chosen to handle the possions of your crossed over spouse....if someone ven asks or makes a suggesyion...tell the it really is none of their business, which it is not....if you find yourself in another relationship, that will make changes for you to decide at that time...I have many things....and will not even entertain anyones comments...they are not me nor do they sahre my feelings in the way I do...
2/20/2008 7:11:10 AM	Your loved one's belongings
wolffdream Billerica, MA 65, joined Jan. 2008	I sold my husbands motorcycle to his brother, and gave all his shirts to a few of them also. His watch and trinkets I gave to the kids and grandchildren. So,I get to see the bike go down the street (and smile)and the cloths, well, they come and visit me often. It's nice to know those things are being used and cherished, and yet still a part of my life, (and theirs).....
2/20/2008 10:31:27 AM	Your loved one's belongings
goofygrama Daphne, AL 51, joined Jul. 2007	I had just boutght my husband an amplifier for his guitar, one of my neighbors used to come down and play with him so I sold the amp to him, knew he would appreciate it. Some of my husbands rings and watches got stolen at some point when he was dying and his family was in and out of my house a lot so I dont have those to give my 3 year old when he gets bigger. As for his clothes I cant bring myself to give them away so Ive decided to take some of my husbands favorite clothes and have someone make a quilt that I can give my son. Thought that would be a nice thing to do with some of his stuff. The rest..........havent got a clue what to do with everything
2/20/2008 6:36:09 PM	Your loved one's belongings
libraryliz Martinsville, VA 65, joined Dec. 2006	I haven't done anything with his clothes or guitar. I am waiting for the right moment. I have told a few to mind their own business, I will do it when I am ready. It has been over two years now, but it still doesn't feel like the right time. It is nice to talk to a widower about these things. He understands and is going through the same process himself. You do what feels right for you. Take care. Liz
2/21/2008 4:31:35 AM	Your loved one's belongings
auntiekk Bellingham, MA 52, joined Dec. 2007	My husband has been gone for 5 years now and I still have pictures up of us all over the place.He was a big part of my past,my family tells me I should not have them because if I do meet someone they will think I was still hung up on him.I told them if someone can't respect what was so dear to me than I would'nt want them in my life.
2/23/2008 10:36:48 AM	Your loved one's belongings
charming_peach Conyers, GA 58, joined Jan. 2008	my husband passed 2 years ago and i still have pictures of him on my dresser and his ashes on my nightstand and they will stay there and if the person i get involved with can't handle that then i don't know yet what will happen..its my way of keeping him close to me...i have the last shirt he wore the day he got sick and all his id's with his pic on them..i'll never give them up..i can't and don't want to..i don't feel we should have to explain their belongings,they were a part of us before and i know Jimmy will always be a part of me...
3/5/2008 7:10:04 AM	Your loved one's belongings
bonarrow Long Beach, CA 47, joined Mar. 2008	hey I lost my wife december 2006,I for 1 would totally understand about hanging on to stuff,and I believe that any man that is not hung up whith insecurity issues will feel the same.
3/5/2008 7:18:56 AM	Your loved one's belongings
bonarrow Long Beach, CA 47, joined Mar. 2008	hey I lost my wife december 2006,I for 1 would totally understand about hanging on to stuff,and I believe that any man that is not hung up whith insecurity issues will feel the same.
3/5/2008 10:27:41 PM	Your loved one's belongings
bossofme Boise, ID 66, joined Feb. 2008	I feel everyone has the right to handle this in their own way and I'm in no way saying the way I handled it is right or wrong; just the only way I could bear it. His prized possessions pertaining to his hobbies all went to his son with my blessings. His clothes...I boxed all up and gave to Hospice for their other patients with a good cry. Took all the pictures down and out of the frames into a chest along with his rings, watch, glasses, billfold and of course his silly buckeyes! (He was from Ohio and always carried two Buckeyes for luck) Have to say I talked regularly to this chest and forever was giving it a pat or touch when I walked by. It sat on my dresser and only I knew what was inside which gave me comfort! The only piece of clothing that I kept was his beat up old bathrobe which I lived in for awhile (like he was still holding me)My late husband of ten years passed away January 10, 2007 and was a very good husband.
3/6/2008 1:13:19 AM	Your loved one's belongings
bouquet Temecula, CA 70, joined Dec. 2007	I'm greatfull that my daughter and her husband handled my husbands clothes and took them from our closet ~ there was alot , and it would have been too hard for me . I had to have 3 weekends of yard sales when I sold the house . The last thing I will do is have his ashes buried in the Veterans cemetery . I have refused to deal with that so far . I'm building up to it .
3/16/2008 7:26:17 AM	Your loved one's belongings
adameve Lacombe, LA 54, joined Jan. 2008	Amen Good Morning Ladys and Men God Bless You All. Its hard changeing for love is not easy to let go. But harder to fine. Who do you trust; How would you know, Life is Great; and when you have so much love to share, why not share. Ladys I don't understand; This, Why when a man is so sweet and just give he's all. Thats the one women, cheat on? And the man whos runing around cheating' they are trying to catch him to keep him. Really I see this a lot under ground. Why? Why cheat? or if you do get a divorced why hate? Be happy ' LOve you all, Amen
3/16/2008 3:13:04 PM	Your loved one's belongings
mcmikey Sweet Home, OR 55, joined Jan. 2008	i will never get rid of all of wifeys things as i love them as much as she did.i gave a bunch her pants and shirts etc.to my mom and sister,i wish i didnt as when i see them on them i get kind of sad,or even mad that i gave them away.so if you do give them away make sure you give them to a church or something like that.
3/19/2008 2:33:21 AM	Your loved one's belongings
nosilla Springfield, OR 64, joined Feb. 2008	I lost my husband 4 yrs ago on Easter Sunday. Easter is a hard time for me. After he passed away, when I was ready I did clean out the closet and gave his guns and clothes to his oldest son. I have kept his billfold(with cash in it still)along with his wedding ring which I wear on a chain next to my heart. I can't bear to have it sized to fit me.I also keep his letters and cards that he wrote to me, his jewlery. All of these small personal things I keep in a chest nearby. On days that I miss him I take these things out and just hold them. I also have a lock of his hair that I take out and smell. I plan to someday take the hair and put it in lockets for his children. I keep his pictures out on the mantel and next to my bed, I still every night say goodnight to him and that I love him and miss him. Yes I have dated since he passed away, and have never been questioned by a date why I still have those things. I also still have his P.J.'s and I wore them for a very long time, because they had his scent on them. But with time the scent went away,(had to wash them) so Idon't wear them anymore but I still keep them. I think getting rid of your spouses things is something that you do when you are ready and just slowly item by item. Until then tresure those items and don't let anyone tell you different. I don't spend time talking to my dates about my dead husband, I don't feel that is the way to start a new relationship, If a date asks me about him I will talk about it, but not go on and on about him. Just the facts. Nor do I ask a date about his past, I don't want to hear about his ex. I want to create our own memories. Lets start a new relationship.
3/19/2008 8:29:52 AM	Your loved one's belongings
familyguy58103 Los Angeles, CA 96, joined Feb. 2008	Thank you nosilla for saying it better than I have been able to. We won't and can't forget that person we shared a big part of our life and our heart with, nor should we. But if we are to truly live our lives, at some point we have to move on, and do so without making comparisons. Every person, every relationship is unique. The potential is there for every one of us to be happy and in a fulfilling realtionship again if we have the courage to recognize and take advantage of opportunities at some point in time.
3/19/2008 8:18:45 PM	Your loved one's belongings
jerseygirl164 Clearwater, FL 65, joined Mar. 2008	After my husband passed away, I cleaned his closets and dressers out right away. I was such a mess. BUT, I kept things, like his PJ's from the last weeks he was sick, the last few things he wore (it was summer), favorite shirts, golf stuff, jewelry, etc. He was buried with his wedding ring and things our daughters and grandchildren had given him. I have a cedar chest full of his things and also an album of all the cards etc from when he was sick and things I received after his death. Also lots of pictures around the house of our life together. I could never part with any of these things. I don't think we have to explain to anyone why we have not gotten rid these belongings. These things are part of our lives, granted it is in the past, but our past has made us who we are today, and I think all of us who has lost a spouse, have had to gather our strength to go on, just to make one day at a time, and we have survived. That was long winded, sorry bout that.!!! Night guys Bonnie
3/19/2008 8:33:04 PM	Your loved one's belongings
tdw10102 Cypress, TX 55, joined Jan. 2008	I still have a lot of things that mean something to me. Concert T-shirts, things from out wedding, of course a lot of pictures etc. When my wife died, I gave most of her clothes to some underpriviledged in Mexico. We used to do that every year with toys and clothes the kids had outgrown. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have done it so quickly (within six months) but I also know that her memory was not in her clothes and shoes. Everyone has to make thier own timeline. Last week was the 4th anniversary of losing my wife, and this week I feel like I am finally turning a corner-- happier and feeling better about stuff.
3/19/2008 9:20:46 PM	Your loved one's belongings
flpixie Bradenton, FL 54, joined Mar. 2008	My husband passed away 13 years ago on January 4, 1995. I still have pictures of us hanging in my home. I still wear some of his clothes. He was my best friend. I had known him since I was 15 years old. The urn with his remains in on top of my piano in my living room. I have dated men that have felt threatened by this and you know what, they are no longer with me. It is my choice to remember the love we had together. I do not let it stand in the way of finding new love, but I will not remove anything because someone else tells me to. I still wear the rings that he gave me. I still have days that I cry because I miss him terribly. It does get easier, but I know that he will always have a special place in my heart.
3/19/2008 9:28:57 PM	Your loved one's belongings
tdw10102 Cypress, TX 55, joined Jan. 2008	Flpixie, I understand. It was good to see you are from Bradenton. The kids and I still think of that as home. We moved from there about three years ago. I haven't gotten in to the dating scene much as of yet, but if people don't want to try to understand where I am, then I guess I really don't need them. I don't think I will ever remove the pictures etc. because that is a big part of who I am. My wife and I started dating at 14, married at 19.
3/21/2008 5:16:15 PM	Your loved one's belongings
flpixie Bradenton, FL 54, joined Mar. 2008	I am sorry for your loss. When my husband passed away I left NH to live with my parents in DE, then my dad passed away 9 months later. So I moved to Bradenton to be closer to my older brother and his family. Sometimes I wonder if I should have just stayed in NH. Have you found that it was better to move away?
3/27/2008 7:58:17 PM	Your loved one's belongings
catsmeow13 Elgin, TX 69, joined Jul. 2007	I have not touched my Love's things. It has not been a year yet- They give me comfort. Almost like he is still here. or on a journey and coming home. I know his spirit is with me. I will deal with "Things" when I am able. Not easy. I wear bits of his Renaissance garb to faire to honor him. He was well loved.
3/27/2008 8:06:05 PM	Your loved one's belongings
tdw10102 Cypress, TX 55, joined Jan. 2008	flpixie, No I am not sure if it was better to move or not. I just know that we couldn't afford to live in Bradenton in the style to which we lived. By moving to TX things are much cheaper and the pay is better. It is a better place for my kids, too. I don't know if I so much miss Florida or just the life we had when I was there. I think the kids are the same way. No matter where you move, you don't move on from the memories.
3/28/2008 10:52:13 PM	Your loved one's belongings
quiethomebody Mount Nebo, WV 56, joined Mar. 2008	I lost my husband of 24 yrs just over 6 wks ago. Some ways it seems so much longer, other ways just a few minutes ago. I go into the closet and pack away a few things when I feel up to it. I talked to him about me getting on the site and even though he is not here in body, I felt that he answered me that I would be able to find others to talk to beside family and friends. When my daughter can come to the house, I will let her go through things to see if she would like anything. In meantime, guitars are still in the living room, his ashes are in here also near his guitars. I tell him goodnite,etc. Its not something you jump into, you ease into it. At least this is what is working for me at the moment. Lots of memories,lots of love. It will not be replaced by another.
3/28/2008 11:43:52 PM	Your loved one's belongings
familyguy58103 Los Angeles, CA 96, joined Feb. 2008	tdw- I appreciate your posts on this and other froums- good to see your face!!!!
3/28/2008 11:46:51 PM	Your loved one's belongings
1mauibabe1 Spring Hill, FL 59, joined Dec. 2007	quiethome I am so sorry for your loss. You are right in doing things on your own time. as stated before somany times we are each individuals adn the grieving process is different for all of us. It has been 4 years now for me and I have moved from the house we rented to an apartment because I coud not afford to stay there. 3 years ago I moved from the mainland to Hawaii I had to go through all our stuff to decide what I would be able to take. The kids went through it with me and I gave them what they wanted. We had a few garage sales and stuff with the first move. Since I was moveing to start a new life with someone else I did not bring much. I still have a picture of us in my wallet. Take your time ..
4/9/2008 6:52:11 PM	Your loved one's belongings
butterflies1 Sacramento, CA 55, joined Mar. 2008	Hi Quiet,take your time,there is no need to rush in my opinion.It's been 18yrs and at times its still hard for me,to think that he is gone.For me it was the hardest thinh for me to deal with.Most of his clothes,shoes,ties went to our church closet.The only things that I kept that I could not part with was his jewelry.Those got passed to our children.Our son and grandson got the best of them.They now wear all of his medals along with their own.Our two girls that that wear uniforms also wear some of the medal.I still have somethings at I keep as memorial to him to myself.I have no intentions of parting with them anytime soon,I'm not trying to keep him close to me.I am keeping them because it is something that I need to do for me and me alone. .
4/10/2008 11:02:27 AM	Your loved one's belongings
iambob2 Trenton, NJ 75, joined Apr. 2008	You do what feels right to you. There are no schedules to follow when you have lost your loved one.
4/10/2008 8:14:57 PM	Your loved one's belongings
cher1943 Versailles, MO 72, joined Jan. 2008	My husband has been gone almost 2 years and I have put his things away in a trunk in my bedroom. I didn't do it until I felt ready to which was just 3 0r 4 months ago. Please don't do anything until you feel the time is right. You will know when that time comes. It is different with each person. Ther are times still when I miss him so very much and I have some favorite things I bring out to hold for awhile. He will always be a part of you, as mine is.
4/10/2008 10:00:37 PM	Your loved one's belongings
deadhead4bunnie Mount Pleasant, MI 46, joined Jan. 2008	I have my wife`s belonging too.I feel closer with them around even the dirty close.Ppl don`t seem to understand.You guys do.My daughter does.I like the idea of making a blanket out of the material.We used to make them blankets all the time.Now I have a new hobby and a answer to my dilema.Thanx
4/12/2008 1:11:41 PM	Your loved one's belongings
berit Fredericksburg, VA 80, joined Mar. 2008	Hi I too lost my husband a year ago, and some of his things and clothes are still here. --If I am lucky enough to find a man who I would bring to my house, I think it is not his business to know why you havent parted with everything.( He wouldnt go in your closet anyway)--- after all you were married a good long while, and it takes time to cleanse it ALL away and you dont have to. A dead husband is no threat to a new friend you may like enough to invite to your home. This is not the first time I am widowed so I speak from experiece-- You will know when you are ready!
4/22/2008 10:56:35 AM	Your loved one's belongings
justadreamoo1 Edmonton, AB 55, joined Apr. 2008	hello and condolences to all,it has been 2yrs 3mon since my husband passed away,i will always miss him,for the first month, music and the couch became my freinds,i told myself that if i didnt get up i would become permanently attached to it,and my daughter would not have a mother,this forced me up,then i ended up riding the transit every day for 2months,and i mean every day,i left the house right after my daughter left for school,and returned when she was home,the silence of the house drove me away,now it is not so bad,and i still do get up and go.as many of you do ,i to have pictures on my walls,beside my bed,my oldest daughter helped with his cloths and i thank her,some i gave to the church,some i kept,his most personal items are in a few chests,his fav hat on the stereo,his car in the car port untouched,tires flat,it has become an old relic,someday i will deal with it,when i am ready.even though there are things id like to forget,i am grateful for the ability to remember. bless you all and take care. [Edited 4/22/2008 11:00:22 AM ]
4/28/2008 2:36:57 AM	Your loved one's belongings
ddeming Republic, MO 68, joined Apr. 2008	My condolences to everyone. We all know what it is like and we all deal with things in our own way. His children are not mine, therefore, I am trying to get his things to his children as I know it will not be them going through my stuff when I die. I couldn't handle our pictures hanging up. It broke my heart to see them everyday. He loved our cats so much and sometimes when they get in bed with me I think about how he would like for them to sleep with us. I think the hardest thing for me to do is to face that empty bedroom at night, thus, I am up posting at 2:30 a.m.
5/6/2008 9:44:02 PM	Your loved one's belongings
cmgetting Austin, TX 74, joined May. 2008	Our two tall, lanky grandson's, built like their Grandfather, got everything they wanted of my husbands. I have a few things it's hard to let go of. I have his sport jacket he wore to an event at the church in October. Still has his name tag on it. His boots are parked under my bed. My heart belonged to him and part of it always will. I'm keeping enough though so I can live on. I do not know what will be, I only know what I've had, which was wonderful. My husband's car is in the driveway, and I'm really having a hard time with that. When I come home from where ever and see it sitting there, I think of all the times, I was so glad to see he was home. It's hard to let go and yet I know I must, and that is what he'd want, because I'd want it for him. I cry, sometimes so hard I think my ribs will break, but they don't. I'm a fairly new widow. My husband died Nov 27, 2007, suddenly, yet I knew something was wrong and had begged him to go to the doctor. He would not go. So, I will go on, with God's help and I will live a good life. I must. God bless.
5/11/2008 1:47:01 PM	Your loved one's belongings
bethinmi Milford, MI 44, joined Apr. 2008	My mother passed away 2 years ago, January 28th, and all I got of hers were two fur coats; one real, and one fake, some jewelery that had so much tarnish on it, it's not really that nice, my baby blanket, and one of those Catholic "Birthday" candles, that you're supposed to burn down to whatever age you're turning, I guess. And all of the items were put in a large garbage bag, with my name on it, and the bag was placed in the corner of the dining room. You DON'T put a FUR coat in a garbage bag! But my sister did; apparently she didn't care too much what happened to it, as long as they knew I was getting something of hers. I was not even invited to go through her stuff. Oh well, it's just 'stuff,' the way I look at it. Stuff gets dirty and dusty and moldy and gets tossed, eventually. Just like people, eventually.
5/27/2008 7:15:57 PM	Your loved one's belongings
tlc516 West Mifflin, PA 55, joined Jun. 2007	My husband passed away 14 months ago after being sick for 7. I thought I wanted to move on right away and started dating after 3-4 months. All disasters of course. I guess I was just afraid of being alone mainly with his stuff. Anywhere but home. I was able to get rid of most of his clothes after a couple months however nothing else until recently. I also didn't care what condition my house was in. I have finally came to terms with his death and have and continue to part with alot more and now care about my house. I was able to bring a date home for the first time last month. It all takes time.
5/27/2008 10:41:27 PM	Your loved one's belongings
iown Glenpool, OK 65, joined Jun. 2007	It does take time and everyone does it at thier own time I still have my husbands clothes. I am going to make all of my kids blankets out of them. That way they can have a part of their Father with them.
5/27/2008 11:12:30 PM	Your loved one's belongings
frznupnth Stratton, ME 46, joined May. 2008	Quote from wolffdream: I sold my husbands motorcycle to his brother, and gave all his shirts to a few of them also. His watch and trinkets I gave to the kids and grandchildren. So,I get to see the bike go down the street (and smile)and the cloths, well, they come and visit me often. It's nice to know those things are being used and cherished, and yet still a part of my life, (and theirs)..... Right on. I'm 38 and lost my girlriend of 11 years a month ago. She was 55 and died of a sudden massive heart attack. I spent 6 hours separating out all her family letters, pictures, documents, and cards from those relating to the two of us and her life up here with me. We never married. She was such a pac rat. I could have asked her for a receipt for a pair of skis 10 years old and she'd have it. She even had my bus pass from C.U. Boulder and that was before we met! I still have her clothes and our spare bedroom is still full of stuff we've collected over the years. I don't know really where to begin. I think some of her housekeeping crew is planning on taking the clothes to a local church at some point. The other stuff I just want to go to her friends and family who will use it. That's the best way to honor her memory and I know she wouldn't want all this stuff just laying around idol. That said I'm still in no rush that's for sure. She was the kind of woman who'd want someone else to benefit. That's just the kind of giving woman she was and I'll miss her deeply. RIP my lil' precious.
5/27/2008 11:38:11 PM	Your loved one's belongings
cagneythecat Santa Fe, TX 60, joined Apr. 2008	Last night I started cleaning out my husbands chesterdrawers. I need it for my son to put his stuff in cause right now he has his stuff all over the house. It was a good enough reason and I have been wanting to do it. I plan to redo the room to make it my room. I am trying to go on with my life and meet people that can deal with the fact that Dan and I loved each other very much. He didnt plan to leave. It has been a year since the nightmare started. Since then I have seen several other people go thru the nightmare. Some got to say their good byes, some not. We didnt. Didnt know he was going to die that quick. I still think I thought there was a chance. Didnt want to think that this strong, good hearted, a**hole of mine could die. How dare he! I cant find stuff that I need when I need it. I know it is here somewhere. And this sounds kinda strange but somewhere are some pics of me that I really dont want anyone to find besides me. Maybe he got rid of them. I dont know, didnt get a chance to ask him. I know you cant ever be ready for something like this, but I sometimes feel I am being shoved away cause of it. Maybe we might have gotten a divorce, but at least it would be chosen. Not taken from me like he was. Men feel they cant compete with a dead person. That is sooooooo stupid. I just have to keep going as I am and one day after a while life will be better. It already is to some extent. I don't cry every day like I did. I am trying to do stuff that I let go for too long. I talk to someone most everyday and that helps. I know that he would want me to be happy, and if that includes another man, make sure he is a good one. NO ONE will ever replace what he and I had, but those are the key words, he and I. That part of my life is only part of my past now. though he will always be in my heart, my heart is big enough to care once more for another. Now of course this is how I feel tonight. May change tomorrow. May you all take care if you took the time to read through this rambling of mine. I hope you each find that peace that will help you to get through the days to come, as I will be searching for it myself. always, kat
5/28/2008 6:26:39 PM	Your loved one's belongings
moonstone22 New Castle, CO 62, joined Apr. 2008	I have my husband picture in the living room, kitchen and I dont need to explaine WHY I still display them. He will be gone 2 years this summer, and I will never forget his love. I wear his T-Shirts, PROUDLY the garage is full of his tools, his motorcycle ect. I will get rid of them when the time is right. ANd if that time never comes , oh well they sit. One day you will take an item and give it away, or sell it , or toss it. I have his leathers, chaps, jacket, cut and will NEVER PART with these items. Time does heal, but memories will never leave and sometimes we need a material item to remember our deceased.
6/6/2008 10:54:25 PM	Your loved one's belongings
lookingforunow Naperville, IL 63, joined Sep. 2007	Hi, for some reason, I was drawn to this forum. My wife will be gone for one year, on the 10th of June. We were married for 28 years. We were both pack rats, she being a little more so than I. I have a storage unit where the cost keeps going up year after year. I was recently told by the manager that there was no dumping allowed on the premesis, so I have to supply my own service. I'm not sure what is there, but I am going to walk away, as I feel if I go to get just one box, I may try and keep the unit, which I cannot afford anymore. I am not disrespecting her, and her memory will always be with me. Thanks for the wonderful posts, and to everyone hang in there. Time will heal all, no matter how long. Dave
6/6/2008 11:55:22 PM	Your loved one's belongings
haileeandcubbee Homewood, IL 55, joined May. 2008	Hi! I too have lost my loved one. He is everywhere around me. In fact, I still have his work coat on the door and his luch box right where it always was. I think we get used to doing things and feel comfortable that we can be afraid of change. We are so used to there being the "two of us" and it is hard to accept that there is only one now. I have decided to move forward in my life and i will never forget him. Getting rid of his belongings will not get rid of his memories in my Heart. I agree, time heels all wounds.
6/24/2008 4:40:30 PM	Your loved one's belongings
quiethomebody Mount Nebo, WV 56, joined Mar. 2008	This week I actually finally took some of his belongings down to the local goodwill. Not a lot of them, just a couple boxes worth. I looked around and still saw so much that I have yet to pack up. But I guess it was a baby step for me. Unfortunately, today I think I have slid back down to when it all happened. Dam bills come in still with his name on them,just when you think you are starting to be able to move forward and get out of some of the quicksand,you get pushed back in the deep part. Just wish it was some way that this part of his belongings would stop showing up when you think you have gotten it straightened out.
6/25/2008 11:07:29 AM	Your loved one's belongings
heritageclassic Dodgeville, WI 65, joined May. 2008	Aurora, take as much time as you need to decide what you want to do your husband's belongings. Don't feel pressured into making decisions right away. A couple of dear friends (I call them my angels) made my husband's shirts and blue jeans into quilts -- one for me, which I have on my bed every night during the winter, and one each for my daughter, two granddaughters, his mother, and mother. I kept my husband's motorcycle which I ride now and his pictures are in every room. He was not only my husband, but my best friend for 37 years, and I will never forget him. My heart still aches for him, but one day, I know someone else will come into my life who will make the second chapter of my life as beautiful as the first chapter.
6/25/2008 7:34:23 PM	Your loved one's belongings
xlibra75x Gateway, AR 40, joined Jun. 2008	I walked away from a 3 bedroom/bath n' 1/2 house w/ an added on family room in the country....2-3 acre yard not countin' the field....left the mini-van sittin' in the driveway.....made it outta there w/ a tv n' my clothes.
6/26/2008 12:07:09 AM	Your loved one's belongings
littlebumblebee Hamilton, OH 55, joined Jul. 2007	i have 2 shirts from my boyfriend who passed in oct 2007 i love wearing them it reminds me of him so much.
6/26/2008 12:46:01 AM	Your loved one's belongings
quiethomebody Mount Nebo, WV 56, joined Mar. 2008	Quote from xlibra75x: I walked away from a 3 bedroom/bath n' 1/2 house w/ an added on family room in the country....2-3 acre yard not countin' the field....left the mini-van sittin' in the driveway.....made it outta there w/ a tv n' my clothes. Hang in there Libra,,, I feel your pain and can understand the reason for doing what you did. My prayers go out to you.
6/26/2008 1:07:00 PM	Your loved one's belongings
xlibra75x Gateway, AR 40, joined Jun. 2008	Oh...I'm fine now....I'm doin' AHELLUVALOT better than I was, anyway.
6/26/2008 9:20:44 PM	Your loved one's belongings
1romanticheart Fort Worth, TX 63, joined Oct. 2007	You shouldn't have to explain and If you have too explain to someone who doesn't understand then they don't need to be there!!!!!!!!
6/26/2008 11:32:04 PM	Your loved one's belongings
xlibra75x Gateway, AR 40, joined Jun. 2008	I only explain it cuz I personally feel the need to....everyone I've talked to VOLUNTARILY, has been accepting of it...
6/30/2008 2:19:29 PM	Your loved one's belongings
dpirate Harrodsburg, KY 56, joined Mar. 2007	You just tell them the truth about how they still help compfort you,but beware I still hold on to some of my wife's thing's and now they haughnt me! I mean not in a sense of fe ar but what do I do with them now,because as long as I hold on to them I cannot move on!It has been six year's this Oct. and I still cannot tell someone that I love them.We were married for twenty four year's and she died in my arm's one night,I still dream of her and call out her name quite often,I even still roll over evry morning to hold her but she's not there. But back to your question If a man cannot understand why you keep those thing's after you've done told him then you don't need him,because he is not understanding to your need's!!
7/1/2008 7:13:15 AM	Your loved one's belongings
markman45 Manchester, VT 52, joined Jun. 2008	I threw out my wife's clothes the day after she departed from this earth. They were "just clothes." All that I need of her resides in my heart and mind where she will live forever.
7/2/2008 3:33:56 AM	Your loved one's belongings
momhoney Patterson, LA 70, joined May. 2008	I feel those things are yours,,you do not have to explain to anyone why you still have these things around.....if they know you lost your love one , then they will understand why......My husband has been gone 10 years I still have things around and when I see them I it brings a smile to my face and makes me happy because I can remember all the good times we had and forget the loneliness even if is just for a moment If your new freind can't understand then give him the booth::

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