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10/26/2011 8:59:02 PM Sex dating sites.  
daziemae
Over 1,000 Posts (1,729)
Oklahoma City, OK
59, joined Jul. 2010


I have been dating a man I met on here for a few weeks. Through updates on yahoo messenger, I discovered he was on at least one sex dating site. I made a profile on there just to see what it was all about. After I found out what I wanted to know I deleted. There were a lot of people I've met on D.H. on there. Also there were a lot of people from my home town, and surroundings towns I know. A lot married. I feel so naive for a fifty some year old. Should I stop seeing this man?

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10/26/2011 9:02:41 PM Sex dating sites.  
linezha
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,293)
Winnie, TX
31, joined Sep. 2011


Is a sex dating site really any different than DH?

Everyone has different intentions, regardless what site it is.

Should you stop seeing him, simply because he has an account on said site? No!

Should you stop seeing him based in his intentions on said site? Possibly.

What were his intentions? Is he still seeking someone else? How serious are you two? Does his intentions go against your moral beliefs?


Too many unknown variables to make an accurate opinion.

10/26/2011 9:03:37 PM Sex dating sites.  
libertine666
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,139)
West Springfield, MA
50, joined Feb. 2011


At least you didn't see him on gaydar.net be seeing you.

10/26/2011 9:07:47 PM Sex dating sites.  
daziemae
Over 1,000 Posts (1,729)
Oklahoma City, OK
59, joined Jul. 2010


Everyone on there had nude pictures on there and more. And yes he was online on there at the time I put my profile on there.

10/26/2011 9:09:29 PM Sex dating sites.  
metu
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (30,392)
Auburndale, FL
54, joined Apr. 2007


Have you even bothered trying to TALK to him about it? I know it's a radical concept, buuuut...

10/26/2011 9:12:34 PM Sex dating sites.  

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (59,737)
Fort Payne, AL
60, joined Apr. 2011


When I was first divorced, I wasn't wanting any real involvement...just wanting the company of a responding woman and fun ,ainly. So, I was on AFF for two years, only met on, we were supposed to have a fwb, but it turned into more....I stayed that long, because of the forums.

At that time before Penthouse bought them out, in reality it was more like a conventional dating site, many were there to seek someone for a relation with sexual compatibility...though just like here or many other regular dating sites...there were some swingers, and people for sex only...the advertisement hype and more explicid pictures some posted made it seem more wild than it was.

Every site between the lines has people of both genders seeking just sex, the lack of sexual hype, and more confined rules make it seem otherwise.

Look a person can be looking for a relationship, but many have a partner in the meantime...and people on sex sites have gotten together and even married.

Go read "sex and dating" here...not much different than reading on a sex site.

Many here are here for just sex.

So??

But, the choise if yours only....talk to him, and etc, before you pass judgement based on this alone.



[Edited 10/26/2011 9:13:44 PM ]

10/26/2011 9:14:57 PM Sex dating sites.  

runningfoc0
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,448)
Fort Collins, CO
27, joined May. 2011


@ Daz, do what feels right to you. Some people on here are more radical, whereas some people on here are more conserve in the dating world. If you feel it's a redflag to you, then leave him or ask him about why he joined. If it really doesn't concern you continue onward with him.

10/26/2011 9:31:36 PM Sex dating sites.  
daziemae
Over 1,000 Posts (1,729)
Oklahoma City, OK
59, joined Jul. 2010


I'm not judging him. He has every right to do what he wants. He was not on there for the forrums I don't think because he has been on here for a long time and never posted in the forrums. He has wanted to have sex via web cam with me, so I would think that is what he is into. Which is fine for some, just not for me.

10/26/2011 9:33:08 PM Sex dating sites.  

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (59,737)
Fort Payne, AL
60, joined Apr. 2011


Well...if thats the case then, your probably right...go with your gut instincts

10/26/2011 9:42:13 PM Sex dating sites.  
daziemae
Over 1,000 Posts (1,729)
Oklahoma City, OK
59, joined Jul. 2010


Thanks bumble bee. I'm feeling really used. I don't like the feeling.

10/26/2011 9:50:44 PM Sex dating sites.  
settee_s
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,936)
Flower Mound, TX
62, joined May. 2011


OP, I gotta ask....have you met this man in person?

10/26/2011 9:55:33 PM Sex dating sites.  
katrina1964
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,505)
Melrose, MA
51, joined Sep. 2011


Dazie if the site is AFF, alot of guys go on there to watch sex videos, or do the instant messenger thing. Or they can even web cam themselves live on there. What is your new friend looking for exactly? A relationship FWB, or just fun. If he's not looking for the same thing you are, then it's best to let him go.

10/26/2011 10:03:58 PM Sex dating sites.  
daziemae
Over 1,000 Posts (1,729)
Oklahoma City, OK
59, joined Jul. 2010


Quote from settee_s:
OP, I gotta ask....have you met this man in person?
Yes I've been dating him over a month.

10/26/2011 10:11:46 PM Sex dating sites.  
settee_s
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,936)
Flower Mound, TX
62, joined May. 2011


Did you get the feeling he was dating women from these other sites?

I don't know anything about these other sites, but it sounds as if you disapprove of them..can you pin point what it is that concerns you? Do you think he may be a sexual deviant because he's a member of these sites?

10/26/2011 10:21:09 PM Sex dating sites.  
flame36d
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,382)
Newcastle, NE
58, joined Nov. 2008


He sounds kinda skanky. Not that there's anything wrong w/ that. I wouldn't date him though.

10/26/2011 10:23:58 PM Sex dating sites.  
daziemae
Over 1,000 Posts (1,729)
Oklahoma City, OK
59, joined Jul. 2010


Quote from flame36d:
He sounds kinda skanky. Not that there's anything wrong w/ that. I wouldn't date him though.
You are right Flame and I don't think I want to date him anymore.

10/26/2011 10:55:11 PM Sex dating sites.  
tater79
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (29,647)
Springfield, IL
37, joined Jun. 2008


Quote from daziemae:
I have been dating a man I met on here for a few weeks. Through updates on yahoo messenger, I discovered he was on at least one sex dating site. I made a profile on there just to see what it was all about. After I found out what I wanted to know I deleted. There were a lot of people I've met on D.H. on there. Also there were a lot of people from my home town, and surroundings towns I know. A lot married. I feel so naive for a fifty some year old. Should I stop seeing this man?


the last line in this surpasses naivitivity(or however that would be spelled)

and enters dumbland..............

what do you think?



[Edited 10/26/2011 10:55:35 PM ]

10/26/2011 11:12:00 PM Sex dating sites.  

vanir
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (11,541)
Victoria
Australia
46, joined Mar. 2008


dazie I must admit even to me it sounds like a sexual incompatability, which is handy to know before it's a really awkward moment.
At the moment you just feel maybe like a piece of meat a bit, but that's probably intuition.


Hey people are into all sorts of things, some are turned on by depravity. I don't bother reading too much into incompatabilities anymore, I found it a waste of time.

10/26/2011 11:20:10 PM Sex dating sites.  
ashadeofred
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,758)
Lansing, MI
65, joined Dec. 2007


Quote from daziemae:
You are right Flame and I don't think I want to date him anymore.


When in doubt, take a step back. If it doesn't feel right to you....stop.

I agree with Flame. I know I wouldn't want to date him either. He KNOWS what that site is.

10/27/2011 6:30:01 AM Sex dating sites.  
daziemae
Over 1,000 Posts (1,729)
Oklahoma City, OK
59, joined Jul. 2010


Yes linezha I think This might have a lot to do with a difference in our morals. And thanks tator for Making it clear that I"m a stupid person. We can always count on you to point out everyones flaws.

10/27/2011 6:37:25 AM Sex dating sites.  
daziemae
Over 1,000 Posts (1,729)
Oklahoma City, OK
59, joined Jul. 2010


Thanks for your help everyone.

10/27/2011 6:44:59 AM Sex dating sites.  
roscopeako
Mechanicsburg, PA
38, joined Sep. 2011


I am so glad, I would never ask strangers, about how to handle someone I was dating, or talking too,lol. After all you learned, who knows half these ppl could be on beastiality sites,lol. I mean you didnt realize half your town, married, or not were sexual deviants,lol?

10/27/2011 6:53:22 AM Sex dating sites.  
kerala777
Vallejo, CA
56, joined Sep. 2011


I wouldn't date him any more either. I sympathize completely, it's kind of horrible to find out people don't have attractive sexual habits. It's. Depressing as hell, actually.

I hope you meet a wholesome guy.

Xxx

10/27/2011 6:54:49 AM Sex dating sites.  
kerala777
Vallejo, CA
56, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from roscopeako:
I am so glad, I would never ask strangers, about how to handle someone I was dating, or talking too,lol. After all you learned, who knows half these ppl could be on beastiality sites,lol. I mean you didnt realize half your town, married, or not were sexual deviants,lol?


Checking things out with other people, is a normal thing women do. It's also a way of diffusing the shock and getting some support.

10/27/2011 7:10:43 AM Sex dating sites.  
roscopeako
Mechanicsburg, PA
38, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from kerala777:
Checking things out with other people, is a normal thing women do. It's also a way of diffusing the shock and getting some support.


I am not a woman, and dont think like one,lol. So you would know better than I would. I look at issues, and address them. I just cut through the red tape!

10/27/2011 10:36:39 AM Sex dating sites.  

consentual
Bethany, OK
61, joined Oct. 2008


I am facinated at the way both men and women act like prudes in the victorian age! Priests molest children; it happens in the most holy of places. Do the priests advertize that they are child molesters? It doesn't matter what the rules of any site is, it is up to you to weed out the chaff and figure out what is real! good luck!

10/27/2011 10:40:51 AM Sex dating sites.  
esmeraldar
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,428)
Toms River, NJ
67, joined Jan. 2009


Quote from metu:
Have you even bothered trying to TALK to him about it? I know it's a radical concept, buuuut...


I agree with metu. Maybe talking to him would give you a better idea of why he was on the site. Was he looking for sexual partners or just satisfying his fantasies? Talking to him would give you a better idea of whether you want to keep seeing him.

10/27/2011 10:42:58 AM Sex dating sites.  

wallflower69
Pierson, FL
46, joined Aug. 2010


many people have profiles on many different sites..i know i do..but i am not advertising to hook up or for phone fun or for trading pics..i am looking for a real relationship and that's what my profile says (i think)..if he was on there looking for fun then yes get rid of him now and fast..i know i would..

10/27/2011 10:54:52 AM Sex dating sites.  
audio_slave
Vk
Iceland
56, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from daziemae:
I'm not judging him. He has every right to do what he wants. He was not on there for the forrums I don't think because he has been on here for a long time and never posted in the forrums. He has wanted to have sex via web cam with me, so I would think that is what he is into. Which is fine for some, just not for me.



was his name, Pepper?

10/27/2011 11:18:46 AM Sex dating sites.  
grneyedluvr2
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,446)
Sebastian, FL
50, joined Apr. 2011


Why is it people view sex as a horrid, aweful, rotten, disgusting, thing? That site (I'm assuming AFF) is no different than any other site, except you have to pay for it. There's just as many players, sluts, wh*res, and douchbags on this site, as there is on there. You get out of it, what you put into it. Did you look at his profile? Did he have d*ck pics plastered all over his wall? Did he have a dozen testimonials attributing to what a good(or bad) time he had with this, or that woman? Like metu said, have you even talked to him about it? It's pretty f**king immature of you to come on here and spread his business all over to the whole world, and yet, you haven't even asked him about it...just sayin...

10/27/2011 11:20:16 AM Sex dating sites.  
libertine666
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,139)
West Springfield, MA
50, joined Feb. 2011


Quote from audio_slave:
was his name, Pepper?
It's so cool to be infamous. be seeing you.

10/27/2011 11:23:25 AM Sex dating sites.  

sand_inhershoes
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,147)
Milton, FL
53, joined Jul. 2011


Quote from daziemae:
Everyone on there had nude pictures on there and more. And yes he was online on there at the time I put my profile on there.


Sounds like a pervert to me.

It depends on what you are looking for.... are you looking for a monogamous relationship?

If you are..... I think you should forget him and move on.

10/27/2011 12:42:44 PM Sex dating sites.  
snyderdating
Pompano Beach, FL
50, joined Oct. 2011


News flash: This site has the word "hookup" in the name. That means sex. Duh!

With that said, many others are looking for a normal relationship.

10/27/2011 12:51:22 PM Sex dating sites.  
ibrakehearts
Over 2,000 Posts (3,025)
Greater Manchester
United Kingdom
41, joined Aug. 2011


Quote from daziemae:
Everyone on there had nude pictures on there and more. And yes he was online on there at the time I put my profile on there.
. You should of tried it on with him see if he took the bait, then you would no the answer to your question.

10/27/2011 1:00:45 PM Sex dating sites.  
musicdesign
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,312)
Moodus, CT
53, joined Apr. 2007


Quote from ibrakehearts:
. You should of tried it on with him see if he took the bait, then you would no the answer to your question.


excellent idea. also, did he have nude photos posted on this site?

10/27/2011 7:58:04 PM Sex dating sites.  
legaleye
Over 1,000 Posts (1,657)
Columbus, OH
63, joined Mar. 2008


For the record, monogamous and kinky are not always mutually exclusive.

But from what I recall, the OP said he wanted webcam sex, which makes absolutely no sense to me in any event.

I see this issue over and over again in the formation of relationships, which is the lack of communication which leads to the failure to form a solid foundation for a relationship. Having dated him for a month in person, which is what I understand, how well do you know him? Of course, if a month is two dates, one every other week, you arent there yet, but there should be some conversation and communication. What I find though, is that all too many people, as someone else here observed, are just way too hung up on it ever to engage in a meaningful discussion about sensuality, sexuality, etc.
Then when they find out they are sexually incompatible someone goes away disappointed and complaining about how they invested all this time in someone for nothing.

If I were you, I would go out with him and engage in some meaningful conversation. Ask him what other dating sites he is on for example, and prepare to be truthful yourself. See if he tells you, deflects or lies. Engage in some conversation about topics you may feel uncomfortable about and see where he goes with it. If the response are not to your liking, i.e. incompatible, then you know you will make the right decision and call things off.

Until you do that, all you have is speculation.

Enjoy.

10/27/2011 8:14:01 PM Sex dating sites.  
settee_s
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,936)
Flower Mound, TX
62, joined May. 2011


I agree with legal....it's at least worth a conversation..

10/28/2011 9:46:47 AM Sex dating sites.  
daziemae
Over 1,000 Posts (1,729)
Oklahoma City, OK
59, joined Jul. 2010


Quote from grneyedluvr2:
Why is it people view sex as a horrid, aweful, rotten, disgusting, thing? That site (I'm assuming AFF) is no different than any other site, except you have to pay for it. There's just as many players, sluts, wh*res, and douchbags on this site, as there is on there. You get out of it, what you put into it. Did you look at his profile? Did he have d*ck pics plastered all over his wall? Did he have a dozen testimonials attributing to what a good(or bad) time he had with this, or that woman? Like metu said, have you even talked to him about it? It's pretty f**king immature of you to come on here and spread his business all over to the whole world, and yet, you haven't even asked him about it...just sayin...
I don't veiw sex as horrid, rotten, and disgusting at all. I don't think I said that at all did I? I do veiw sex with just just anyone that way. You must have been one of those people on there. So defensive.



[Edited 10/28/2011 9:49:14 AM ]

10/28/2011 9:53:26 AM Sex dating sites.  
grneyedluvr2
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,446)
Sebastian, FL
50, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from daziemae:
I don't veiw sex as horrid, rotten, and disgusting at all. I don't think I said that at all did I? I do veiw sex with just just anyone that way. You must have been one of those people on there. So defensive.

I had an account on there years ago. Granted, there's a lot of pervs there, and a lot of players. There's just as many, if not more here. This is free. AFF isn't free. I'm not defensive, I'm just saying you put all this stuff out here in internet land BEFORE you ever asked him about it. WTF is up with that? I would very leery in dating someone like you. You got loose lips and seem like a drama queen.



[Edited 10/28/2011 9:56:28 AM ]

10/28/2011 9:53:49 AM Sex dating sites.  
daziemae
Over 1,000 Posts (1,729)
Oklahoma City, OK
59, joined Jul. 2010


I did try to talk to him about it, But he didn't really want to talk, but he did make sure I couldn't see his updates anymore. LOL.

10/28/2011 10:02:40 AM Sex dating sites.  
grneyedluvr2
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,446)
Sebastian, FL
50, joined Apr. 2011


then move on. simple as that. click next on the ol search engine. that's what the rest of us do.

10/28/2011 10:07:43 AM Sex dating sites.  
lovetosmile57
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,934)
Cincinnati, OH
59, joined Jun. 2011


Quote from daziemae:
Everyone on there had nude pictures on there and more. And yes he was online on there at the time I put my profile on there.



You have a partially nude picture on your profile, just saying… Nice leg….

10/28/2011 10:08:58 AM Sex dating sites.  
crzyblubttrfly
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,219)
Fort Smith, AR
56, joined Apr. 2009


If he didn't want to discuss it you are probably not compatible sexually. Not the best partner for you. He could be ashamed or have hang ups he knows you won't deal with well. Doesn't mean he is wrong, just not your type.



[Edited 10/28/2011 10:09:24 AM ]

10/28/2011 10:22:54 AM Sex dating sites.  
lovetosmile57
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,934)
Cincinnati, OH
59, joined Jun. 2011


Well now, seems like you have a dilemma on your hands. Your guy friend is on a sex dating site and you’re on a free dating site. Both of you seem to be looking for something that the other is not offering. I would not cast stones at someone when you yourself are living in a glass house.

I’m however still a bit confused about how you found out….

11/6/2011 1:42:57 AM Sex dating sites.  

emwolb_31
Checotah, OK
64, joined Aug. 2008


i'm thinking that he's reasonably normal. after all we're not teenagers, we're all old enough to know what we want in a partner. now by putting out the bait, i.e. being even in this datehookup site, if you didn't get a catfish or two to nibble at the bait, all would be for nothing, right? it's up to you how you treat this issue, but i wouldn't even consider it an issue at all, but rather somewhat normal. perhaps his request for cam to cam stuff, was his way to figure out if you were on the same wavelength as he is. we're all wired in a different pattern. if everyone was the same, ya might as well be looking for a robot instead of a real person. at least his first question to you wasn't, "so, are you allergic to ductape?" you're old enough to make decisions, and why would you think that any of us in this site are qualified to make decisions for you? just a thought. by the way, i'm jim, nice to meet you, "are you allergic to ductape?" sorry, couldn't help it.

11/6/2011 1:47:03 AM Sex dating sites.  

mrld_ii
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,775)
Stockton, CA
55, joined May. 2011


Be careful about believing everything you see, OP.

If someone searched for me and my memberships, they'd find "mrld_ii" is a member of a 'dating' website known as "One Night Stands in Stockton".

Imagine my surprise when I found myself there. For a $39.99 membership fee, which automatically renews each month, I could have actually gone to my profile to see what, exactly, I'll do on a one-night stand.

In Stockton.



11/6/2011 1:48:21 AM Sex dating sites.  

hefner007
Brooklyn, NY
27, joined Nov. 2011


Quick question...i used to be on here all the time...wat ever happened to the "sex and dating" forum?

11/6/2011 2:25:19 AM Sex dating sites.  

susieq_tx
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,846)
Harlingen, TX
63, joined Mar. 2011


So he's a perv and you're a snoop. Seriously, I'd just talk to him about it. Then I'd make a decision...but it would be an informed decision.

11/6/2011 6:29:28 AM Sex dating sites.  

nothereyoudont
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,661)
Albuquerque, NM
50, joined Jul. 2010


'Sex dating' sites scam men for money.
No one actually meets anyone.
Non-sex 'dating' sites are advertiser vehicles.
No one actually meets anyone.

Bar wins yet again.

11/6/2011 7:03:32 AM Sex dating sites.  
shellymyshelly
Over 1,000 Posts (1,818)
New Berlin, WI
48, joined Oct. 2011


Quote from grneyedluvr2:
then move on. simple as that. click next on the ol search engine. that's what the rest of us do.
When I was on AFF It was free. I still have an acct. But havent been on there for months. Men have to pay on there. I never had to pay though.

11/6/2011 7:05:30 AM Sex dating sites.  
shellymyshelly
Over 1,000 Posts (1,818)
New Berlin, WI
48, joined Oct. 2011


Quote from hefner007:
Quick question...i used to be on here all the time...wat ever happened to the "sex and dating" forum?
When I am on my cell I have no option for sex and dating. Only on laptop.

11/6/2011 7:11:37 AM Sex dating sites.  

cayman144
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,015)
Waco, TX
68, joined Jul. 2011


Quote from susieq_tx:
So he's a perv and you're a snoop. Seriously, I'd just talk to him about it. Then I'd make a decision...but it would be an informed decision.


^^^^. What she said

11/6/2011 8:06:29 AM Sex dating sites.  
honestami
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,205)
Ravenna, OH
60, joined Dec. 2008


Quote from daziemae:
I have been dating a man I met on here for a few weeks. Through updates on yahoo messenger, I discovered he was on at least one sex dating site. I made a profile on there just to see what it was all about. After I found out what I wanted to know I deleted. There were a lot of people I've met on D.H. on there. Also there were a lot of people from my home town, and surroundings towns I know. A lot married. I feel so naive for a fifty some year old. Should I stop seeing this man?


Why must people use trickery and games to get an answer to their quetions anymore??

What would be wrong with just asking someone if they were on there? If they lie,then grab them by their ear and drag them to the PC and show them their sex profile?

11/6/2011 8:29:10 AM Sex dating sites.  

mustangwriter
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,447)
Boerne, TX
55, joined Nov. 2009


Without a commitment... I really don't see the problem.

11/6/2011 8:34:46 AM Sex dating sites.  
kerala777
Vallejo, CA
56, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from honestami:
Why must people use trickery and games to get an answer to their quetions anymore??

What would be wrong with just asking someone if they were on there? If they lie,then grab them by their ear and drag them to the PC and show them their sex profile?




Totally. Life would be so much better with straightforward communication, wouldn't it?

11/6/2011 9:02:47 AM Sex dating sites.  
ericjasonp
Over 1,000 Posts (1,598)
Chalfont, PA
51, joined Feb. 2011


Can you please list the site?

This sounds like something

I must investigate.

11/6/2011 9:06:55 AM Sex dating sites.  
shellymyshelly
Over 1,000 Posts (1,818)
New Berlin, WI
48, joined Oct. 2011


Quote from ericjasonp:
Can you please list the site?

This sounds like something

I must investigate.
Lol, Adult Friend Finder, AFF, you can view live people doing things, and they can view you. Most women and men post profile pics of them naked

11/6/2011 9:12:20 AM Sex dating sites.  
ericjasonp
Over 1,000 Posts (1,598)
Chalfont, PA
51, joined Feb. 2011


And this is supposed to be bad???

I think not.

11/6/2011 9:15:15 AM Sex dating sites.  
shellymyshelly
Over 1,000 Posts (1,818)
New Berlin, WI
48, joined Oct. 2011


Quote from ericjasonp:
And this is supposed to be bad???

I think not.
It's addicting and can take over your life.

11/6/2011 9:20:38 AM Sex dating sites.  

hotpink36
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,632)
Springfield, OR
43, joined Jul. 2008


I am far from being a prude, but that site sounds disgusting!!!!! I would just move on a month in and trust issues it's not worth it......

now if it was out in the open and you guys were exploring together, but still a month is pretty earlier to have doubts already....