| 1/3/2013 11:23:48 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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petitekitten72
Portland, MI
43, joined Apr. 2012
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I realize we all have had bad relationships. some people guard their feelings and have a hard time expressing themselves emotionally (if you'll even get them to). but recently someone told me that they THOUGHT in the past they had loved people but looking back on it they don't think they loved them at all. this same person went on to say they are not even sure they know what love is.
my question is HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? how can a middle aged person not know what love is???
i don't want to direct this towards any specific sex, i think this could apply to either. Opinions please??
[Edited 1/3/2013 11:24:17 PM ]
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| 1/3/2013 11:29:43 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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wonderbar69
Lake Huntington, NY
51, joined May. 2012
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Not everyone is wired the same. I chose to have children on my own because I had never met anyone I would marry (til death do I) and the clock was ticking. So I doubt that I have the ability to love another being in that way. I am successful and happy. A friend once showed my pity because I had never been in love... It made me feel inferior, but we can't change who we are. I'm not trying to be antagonistic, just honest.
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| 1/4/2013 1:15:14 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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tcretiredhippie
Durand, WI
57, joined Apr. 2012
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Its possible theyve never received ttue love. Makes it hard to give true love
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| 1/4/2013 2:10:15 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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lordlyle
Carmichael, CA
38, joined Nov. 2012
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I loved my ex. Why?? Cause she made me feel alittle better about myself cause I could do lots of stuff for her and share all my stuff! It wasn't mutual. Love is mutual respect and divotion! If I ever find real love ill be able to describe the difference. For now I can say sometimes we love how someone makes us feel. We love that we can feel worthwhile or needed. We love sex and cuddling! We love to feel attractive and valued! But is that mutual love?? Maybe love is made from two.
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| 1/4/2013 2:24:22 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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bigdaddyishere
Las Vegas, NV
35, joined Mar. 2011
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how can you not know that you were used and dumped
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| 1/4/2013 2:27:00 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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heranno
Green Bay, WI
61, joined Dec. 2012
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op in reading these forums most don't know what love is
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| 1/4/2013 2:28:03 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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ronleeseberg
Mauston, WI
49, joined Jan. 2012
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There are people that have not had alot of love shown to them in their life. They were abused as achild and have been taken advantage of as an adult too. To know what love is you need to feel it.
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| 1/4/2013 10:21:59 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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heranno
Green Bay, WI
61, joined Dec. 2012
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that statement tells me you have no idea what love is. Love is much more than a fealing
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| 1/4/2013 2:10:53 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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wgk1963
Denver, CO
52, joined Aug. 2012
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Lets see if I can word this ...
I dont think anyone who says they dont know what love is really believes that. I think theyre putting out a reason for a failed relationship. Or trying to give whomever and him/herself an excuse for the relationship not being successful.
To say, feel, believe youre in love today... now... THEN in 5 years after it didnt last say "I dont even know what love is" is crap and big BS. But mostly its someone not owning-up/taking responsibility... (and probably feeling guilty for screwing it up).
Now if one's NEVER confessed love and says they dont know what love is... THAT'S a different story. 
[Edited 1/4/2013 2:11:50 PM ]
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| 1/4/2013 8:25:46 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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flhreagle
Fort Mohave, AZ
50, joined Jul. 2012
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I realize we all have had bad relationships. some people guard their feelings and have a hard time expressing themselves emotionally (if you'll even get them to). but recently someone told me that they THOUGHT in the past they had loved people but looking back on it they don't think they loved them at all. this same person went on to say they are not even sure they know what love is.
my question is HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? how can a middle aged person not know what love is???
i don't want to direct this towards any specific sex, i think this could apply to either. Opinions please??
let them have anal sex with you
and they will love you forever
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| 1/4/2013 9:27:09 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
64, joined Oct. 2009
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I don't. I guess it's like a woman buying shoes, she's knows what she wants when she sees it.
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| 1/5/2013 12:53:57 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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heranno
Green Bay, WI
61, joined Dec. 2012
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lord baal
for you it is because you don't know what love is to ever love someone anyway 
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| 1/5/2013 2:07:52 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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rockinmomma
Miami, OK
63, joined Jul. 2008
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I know what love is for family and friends and I feel their love for me, but I have never really felt loved by a man.I've had them tell me they love me,but I can't say they have really shown it. That is something I yearn for and hope to feel before I get too old.
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| 1/5/2013 2:12:16 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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islandqu33n
Lake Oswego, OR
29, joined Sep. 2011
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I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
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| 1/5/2013 2:53:26 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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goodforfun51
Omaha, NE
60, joined Jan. 2007
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Is it possible OP that the person you were listening to was simply trying to get reaction from you? I agree that there are people that have made choices to either not go the distance in or towards relationships (for whatever reason) yet most have felt love either by giving or receiving it (realizing that there are degrees of love too).
However, it sounds like that person was possibly reflecting upon life and verbalizing more a perception vice a realization based on their current mindset and situation with and about their current and past life's situation.
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| 1/5/2013 9:29:25 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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heranno
Green Bay, WI
61, joined Dec. 2012
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actually most haven't because these days it's not about love. It's about what makes you feel good and what you want. Sadly women are worse at it then men that way. In the end all loose
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| 1/5/2013 9:35:41 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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omg_not_again
Stroudsburg, PA
54, joined Nov. 2012
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With all the above replies is it any wonder that many people don't know what TRUE LOVE is.  
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| 1/5/2013 6:42:25 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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heranno
Green Bay, WI
61, joined Dec. 2012
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thats because most that commented don't know what love is
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| 1/6/2013 11:28:29 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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heranno
Green Bay, WI
61, joined Dec. 2012
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most don't care either
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| 1/6/2013 1:30:32 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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stamina1975
Madison Heights, VA
97, joined Apr. 2012
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I know I don't know everything about Love. Doesn't mean I'm not going to continue learning. The reason people usually question if they know what Love is, is because when they Loved, their Love wasn't given in return and them wanting that Love in return poses the question whether they Loved at all. Why? Because Love isn't about receiving, or so the consensus suggests. So having unrequited Love leaves many empty from the experience, questioning the whole idea of what Love is, and why it is this way. Or maybe having had a taste of Love, and that Love suddenly or not so suddenly fades away, leaving unanswered questions. So we fit in the next candidate to fill the position, lust. So everybody is lusting away believing it's Love, unknowingly playing into their inner desires, etc. One ending up brokenhearted and confused, the other under the impression it wasn't Love at all and content with that. Blah, blah, blah...
Then all the reality comes flooding back, all the things you overlooked are in plain sight. Now... Within that lust on both sides a little Love was growing, still holding on to the good times and happy moments. That Love can be seen as the worst kind, the Love that holds on and tears you apart in full knowledge that it's going to be a gut wrenching uphill ordeal to blossom. In this case if reality is too much of an unattractive misfortune, it's not going to work and every excuse under the sun for it not working will rear its head. On the other hand if the Love involved is still strong enough to overlook and overcome, well... You know that fairy tale ending, which for all intents and purposes isn't really a fairy tale ending at all. It's more of a "We can make it!" attitude, some good will come of it as the weeks/months/years role by, you'll either both strengthen that Love or weaken it.
In reality Love depends on real World values. The only kicker is that with Love, those values can be anything and everything depending on who's doing the Loving. So people have to make sure that there's some kind of balance if the Love is to thrive, although Love can do it alone! It's just that there are better odds when Love gets a little help, where those real World values can come into play and make it easier. Why do I say that? Because deny it as much as we can, we are all slaves to society.
Now I really don't know what Love is, but one day some Woman and I will discover this within our lifetime hopefully. I'll come back here and tell you all about it!
This is only a pinch of my hypothesis based on my limited experience with Love, I could be talking about nothing at all, but I thought I'd type for a few minutes or so just to kill time while not being in Love.
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| 1/6/2013 1:53:10 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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elprimo41
Paterson, NJ
48, joined Jan. 2010
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OP, you can 5000 replies to this thread and in the end, you will find that it's still your call.
Everyone in general are going or went threw the love thing in their own special way!
Those that are going threw it, Good Luck with that 
Those that went threw it, including myself, are at a 2nd stage of life that love will happen again if possible but with the caution tape
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| 1/6/2013 2:25:50 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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heranno
Green Bay, WI
61, joined Dec. 2012
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fear and love can never mix even if you call that fear caution
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| 1/6/2013 2:29:49 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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bigdaddyishere
Las Vegas, NV
35, joined Mar. 2011
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I love that moment just before I unload
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| 1/6/2013 3:16:52 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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francis76
Clifton, NJ
39, joined Jun. 2012
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We all love one way or another. And that's a fact.
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| 1/6/2013 3:23:56 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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uwillhavefun
Boise, ID
53, joined Jun. 2012
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I realize we all have had bad relationships. some people guard their feelings and have a hard time expressing themselves emotionally (if you'll even get them to). but recently someone told me that they THOUGHT in the past they had loved people but looking back on it they don't think they loved them at all. this same person went on to say they are not even sure they know what love is.
my question is HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? how can a middle aged person not know what love is???
i don't want to direct this towards any specific sex, i think this could apply to either. Opinions please??
Its because of a hugely adverse statistic that applies ewually to both sexes..
out of 100 (male or female) there are 92-94 bad apples that need to be culled out for one reason or another as non dateavle by anyone.... thta only leave you
between 6-8 out of a hundred that are decent and datable prospects and its out of thos left out of that 100 you have to find out if any are the right one for you or not... just becasue they are good doesn't equate to being right one for you...
so then you might have to move to the next 100 and start same process over again and even if you did this 3 times you would have found only between 18 & 24 good prospects but you had to sort thru 300 men or women to get therer in the first place
very few of us eve in our 450's have done the sorting of even that first 100
I know a very smart woman whom I met when I was in jr high she is now a dr with several degrees... Dhe now has 2 kids and is divorced, was involved with only a few men but says she really never knew or felt true love...
I on the other hand have ben with more women and have had the awesome experience of knowing and feeling true love 3 times in my life and I count myself as blessed because of it...
I wish I could give one of those up so she knew what it could be and would be like
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| 1/6/2013 3:36:08 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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elprimo41
Paterson, NJ
48, joined Jan. 2010
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We all love one way or another. And that's a fact.
I love SEAFOOD 
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| 1/6/2013 3:46:19 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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hwtguy28
Houston, TX
32, joined Nov. 2012
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Love is not a virtue. Love is a necessity; more so than bread and water; more so than light and air. Let no one pride himself on loving. But rather breathe in Love and breathe it out just as unconsciously and freely as you breathe in the air and breathe it out. For Love needs no one to exalt it. Love will exalt the heart that it finds worthy of itself. Seek no rewards for Love. Love is reward sufficient unto Love. Nor keep any accounts with Love. For Love accounts to no one but itself. Love neither lends nor borrows; Love neither buys nor sells; but when it gives, it gives its all; and when it takes, it takes its all. Its very taking is a giving. Its very giving is a taking. Therefore it is the same to-day, tomorrow and forever.
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| 1/6/2013 8:51:33 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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heranno
Green Bay, WI
61, joined Dec. 2012
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francis76
all of us don't love one way or another. Just like love isn't left up to personal interpretation either. Many people who seek what they want call that love. In the end though when it fails [as it always does] then they make excuses for why never pointing at self
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| 1/6/2013 9:16:07 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
68, joined Jul. 2007
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It sounds as if the person realized his plight,as he got older, and gave it some serious thought. I think it took courage to relate that story to you. It sounds very honest. I never found love--and I am alot older than this friend you are referring to. I love my career--I love certain foods--I love my vehicles--I love a lot of stuff--but I could never say I was ever in LOVE with a person. It just never happened.
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| 1/6/2013 9:36:57 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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celestialstar
Salt Lake City, UT
35, joined Sep. 2010
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I realize we all have had bad relationships. some people guard their feelings and have a hard time expressing themselves emotionally (if you'll even get them to). but recently someone told me that they THOUGHT in the past they had loved people but looking back on it they don't think they loved them at all. this same person went on to say they are not even sure they know what love is.
my question is HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? how can a middle aged person not know what love is???
i don't want to direct this towards any specific sex, i think this could apply to either. Opinions please??
I know this can be a hard thing to understand, but it may actually be true. I'm sure he may be grossly over exaggerating, but others have had this experience. A man grew up in an abusive home and was taught that beating his wife was love. Simple scenario. Here is a more complex one. Woman cheats on husband throughout the whole marriage, is caught and says she loves husband but is not "in love" with him. She also suffers from the same thing the man in first scenario does... false understanding. He may simply be expressing that he has never known someone who truly loved him and showed him such. Many people think they have reached the pinnacle of love, but have truly never touched the surface. Does this make sense?
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| 1/7/2013 1:03:05 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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hot2date2
Chandler, AZ
38, joined Dec. 2012
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Op it is entirely possible that this middle aged man does not know what love is ... Like the Tom petty song said .. She her horses and her boyfriend too... That's not exactly the kind of love you're talking about I'm sure.... And I don't think it has anything to do with wether you were shown love as a child or not... Love is that elusive chemical reaction in our system that cannot be controlled, restrained or contained... Love is that feeling you get when that person walks into a room and suddenly your world becomes nirvana, birds singing, flowers blooming, sky is blue and your heart singing in ways you've never felt before. Love is the most satisfying moment of being in front of that person and just feeling so utterly happy without expectations of sex or anything . Just to see her/him talk and move and breath makes you thankful that you are there with that person
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| 1/7/2013 8:52:10 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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e_lizabeth
Jacksonville Beach, FL
43, joined Apr. 2012
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I know this can be a hard thing to understand, but it may actually be true. I'm sure he may be grossly over exaggerating, but others have had this experience. A man grew up in an abusive home and was taught that beating his wife was love. Simple scenario. Here is a more complex one. Woman cheats on husband throughout the whole marriage, is caught and says she loves husband but is not "in love" with him. She also suffers from the same thing the man in first scenario does... false understanding. He may simply be expressing that he has never known someone who truly loved him and showed him such. Many people think they have reached the pinnacle of love, but have truly never touched the surface. Does this make sense?
This guy knows what's up. A poor example of love can make someone not believe it exists, couple that w/a determination to never show or feel vulnerability...no love can enter there, and if u can't feel it u can't know it.
Another possibility, Aspbergers, autism, etc.
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| 1/8/2013 1:26:38 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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uwillhavefun
Boise, ID
53, joined Jun. 2012
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This guy knows what's up. A poor example of love can make someone not believe it exists, couple that w/a determination to never show or feel vulnerability...no love can enter there, and if u can't feel it u can't know it.
Another possibility, Aspbergers, autism, etc.
It is quite true that prople with Aspergers in at severe extreme may have difficulty feeling or expressing or knowing love... for those with milder symthoms and the lesser imaired autistics also....
Most of them are wuite sensitive and actually thoughtful to the extreme, because all relationships are harder for them to start and then later maintain most of them value them more than neurotypical people whom do not have this impairment barrier to deal with socially too,,,
I can speak from experience I do have mild Aspergers Syndrome, but also have a very high I.Q. so I have over the years leared many coping skillls etc.
I'm one of the ones who has know true love a few times and consider myself blessed because there are some out there who do not know it nor what it is like...
I calue both freindships, platonic relationships and intimate relationships more than most prople do .... so I also woek harder ant trying to maintain them at their best and keep them
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| 1/8/2013 6:44:16 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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dudefreed
Portland, OR
43, joined Sep. 2012
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lotta scorned folk assuming that love bit them, and will do so again, or always. odds are you will get bit in a bad way, but thats the nature of the beast...torture follows reward, rewards ooooh
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| 1/26/2013 7:59:10 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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petitekitten72
Portland, MI
43, joined Apr. 2012
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THANK YOU to everyone that took the time to respond. this was actually very helpful for me... i have had many shallow relationships in my life but only ONE pure, all comsuming love: from what i am reading in this forum i am lucky to have felt this way "once upon a time".
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| 1/26/2013 8:56:52 AM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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really100
Loris, SC
53, joined Jan. 2013
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Short answer:
If you want to know what it's like to be loved, get a dog and take care of him the way he deserves.
Love is a concept, prompted by hormones, using chaos as it's GPS.
It's sad the amount of people who can't stand the person they love.
So either have fun with the person that turns you on....
or get a dog.
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| 1/26/2013 2:53:39 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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gamerman17
New York, NY
28, joined Apr. 2010
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I realize we all have had bad relationships. some people guard their feelings and have a hard time expressing themselves emotionally (if you'll even get them to). but recently someone told me that they THOUGHT in the past they had loved people but looking back on it they don't think they loved them at all. this same person went on to say they are not even sure they know what love is.
my question is HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? how can a middle aged person not know what love is???
i don't want to direct this towards any specific sex, i think this could apply to either. Opinions please??
Everyone has a different psychological background and mindframe, so what you be accustomed to you and used to may be abnormal and foreign to other people, even for a many of years. Not only the mindframe, the experience of even being on the receiving end of it may also be uncommon and strange to them because they never felt that state of emotion. Personally, I can't help but feel sorry for them......gamer
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| 1/26/2013 3:56:51 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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awesomety
Ocala, FL
49, joined Dec. 2012
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the holy bible tells us what love is.1st corinthians 13 check it out.if you want to know what love really is
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| 1/26/2013 4:49:17 PM |
A person that claims they don't even know what love is |
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pepgirl
Bridgewater, MA
50, joined Jul. 2010
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Its possible theyve never received ttue love. Makes it hard to give true love
Soo true!
This is me. When I was with him I thought I was in love. When I left and reflected, I realized that if that is what love is I don't ever want to be in love again.
It's easier to perceive that I've never been in love than accept my experience as the real thing.
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