In your case, you were misinformed about looking fatter if you don't lose fat first. If you build muscle first, you'll actually look LEANER because more muscle will displace the amount of fat that you do have. Meaning, more muscle will spread your fat thin, making you leaner. Whatever you do, don't lose weight right now - build muscle first.

As far as eating healthy, a good rule is to mainly stick to what's available on the outer perimeter of the supermarket. There you find mostly natural foods such as vegetables, fruits, lean meats, dairy, eggs, etc. Whole grains are also good, such as whole grain bread, brown rice, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat pancake flour, etc. But white flour carbs aren't so bad if you're including fruits and vegetables in your diet because fruits and veggies provide fiber, and slow the digestion of the white flour foods.