| 2/23/2013 2:00:13 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 2/23/2013 4:26:45 PM |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 2/24/2013 1:47:04 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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| 2/24/2013 2:14:54 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 2/25/2013 12:05:05 AM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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[Edited 2/25/2013 12:05:26 AM ]
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| 2/26/2013 7:18:47 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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| 2/26/2013 10:32:47 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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pplsheri
Salt Lake City, UT
53, joined Apr. 2011
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| 3/1/2013 8:12:49 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. -Bill Vaughan
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| 3/1/2013 8:14:45 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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| 3/1/2013 8:47:17 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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| 3/1/2013 8:51:48 PM |
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t0mmyb0y73
Salt Lake City, UT
44, joined Feb. 2013
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| 3/2/2013 5:28:15 AM |
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gypsiegirly
Provo, UT
51, joined Nov. 2008
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Priceless 
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| 3/2/2013 12:48:18 PM |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 3/3/2013 4:22:12 PM |
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pplsheri
Salt Lake City, UT
53, joined Apr. 2011
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Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for... It is about time you became informed:
A ... Almost Boobs
B ... Barely there.
C ... Can't Complain!
D ... Damn!
DD... Double damn!
E ... Enormous!
F ... Fake
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| 3/3/2013 4:28:03 PM |
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girl_who_dreams
West Jordan, UT
53, joined Dec. 2012
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Oh sad face I am Barley there. 
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| 3/4/2013 2:54:56 AM |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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[Edited 3/4/2013 2:56:54 AM ]
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| 3/6/2013 10:37:06 PM |
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pplsheri
Salt Lake City, UT
53, joined Apr. 2011
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What Women Want in a Man
What women want in a man at age 22:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What women want in a man at age 32:
1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
What women want in a man at age 42:
1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
What women want in a man at age 52:
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What women want in a man at age 62:
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What women want in a man at age 72:
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
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| 3/6/2013 10:40:16 PM |
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pplsheri
Salt Lake City, UT
53, joined Apr. 2011
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Crying Husband
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.
She went downstairs and looked around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.
"Remember when your father caught us together when you were 16?" he replied. "And remember, he said, I had two choices - I could either marry you, or spend the next 20 years in prison."
Baffled, she said, "Yes, I remember. So?"
"I would have gotten out today."
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| 3/8/2013 12:30:05 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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| 3/8/2013 12:39:56 PM |
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girl_who_dreams
West Jordan, UT
53, joined Dec. 2012
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@TheBatman: Base jumping from skyscrapers is extremely dangerous. Which is why I recommend breaking your fall with a criminal. Or a Kardashian. 
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| 3/8/2013 12:55:39 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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| 3/8/2013 2:22:49 PM |
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topendstuff
Eden, UT
61, joined May. 2007
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What Women Want in a Man
What women want in a man at age 22:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What women want in a man at age 32:
1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
What women want in a man at age 42:
1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
What women want in a man at age 52:
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What women want in a man at age 62:
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What women want in a man at age 72:
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
Been pondering this for awhile....
It seems that all of these things could be an irritant. But the trick to it all is to find the one that all of these issues, no matter the age group, you know that you couldnt live without!
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| 3/9/2013 2:34:17 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it.
So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started." "Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
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| 3/9/2013 3:01:12 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Dianne goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you."
The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.
"Well, what is it?" he asks.
"It's a bit embarrassing," she replies. "These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs."
The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, "Is your boyfriend a Harley rider?"
The woman blushes and says, "Well, actually he is."
"That's the problem," the doctor says. "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."
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| 3/9/2013 3:06:09 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Women about Men:
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor
lock)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at c*cktail parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
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| 3/12/2013 10:01:56 PM |
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pplsheri
Salt Lake City, UT
53, joined Apr. 2011
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The Top 10 reasons why a handgun is better then…
..10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.
..9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
..8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
..7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.
..6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo.
..5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
..4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
..3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
..2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A
WOMAN . . . You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
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| 3/13/2013 9:14:49 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Just saying:
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| 3/13/2013 9:57:10 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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| 3/13/2013 11:20:03 PM |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 3/14/2013 1:30:17 PM |
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anonomouse
Salt Lake City, UT
66, joined Jan. 2012
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Oh My Gawd Safety! That Jeff Gordon video is a HOOT! I wonder if the poor salesman had to change his clothes?
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| 3/14/2013 3:30:52 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Dang, the poor salesman about had a heart attack.
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| 3/24/2013 11:08:32 PM |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 3/25/2013 1:32:51 AM |
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girl_who_dreams
West Jordan, UT
53, joined Dec. 2012
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Wow Rick 
What liars fast food places are!
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| 3/25/2013 5:37:52 AM |
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anonomouse
Salt Lake City, UT
66, joined Jan. 2012
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Unfortunately, those pictures are correct! Sad huh?
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| 4/8/2013 1:24:59 AM |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 4/17/2013 3:34:12 AM |
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anonomouse
Salt Lake City, UT
66, joined Jan. 2012
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Okay, laughed out loud...scared the cat off my lap. Loved it! Good find and thanks for posting it!
He's probably one of those guys that is in a picture with 9 other guys...they're naked and all wearing cowboy hats in a spot below the tummy....the hat stays up, but they also have hands up to show it's no trick.
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| 5/3/2013 3:26:56 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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[Edited 5/3/2013 3:28:16 PM ]
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| 5/3/2013 3:30:57 PM |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 5/3/2013 4:14:30 PM |
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cbrxxman
West Jordan, UT
48, joined Jul. 2012
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Kinda reminds me of some dating profiles lol.
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| 5/6/2013 9:16:51 PM |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 5/26/2013 6:27:53 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 5/26/2013 11:52:24 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 5/31/2013 12:07:16 AM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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forthehordekt
Roy, UT
34, joined Jan. 2013
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| 5/31/2013 9:24:21 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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OOOuhright!!
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| 6/1/2013 1:49:22 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Not buying it, Wiser?
I bought the guy's response......of course.
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| 6/9/2013 3:29:29 PM |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 6/11/2013 12:53:55 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 6/22/2013 7:46:29 PM |
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cbrxxman
West Jordan, UT
48, joined Jul. 2012
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
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| 6/28/2013 12:15:30 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 6/28/2013 6:15:59 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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forthehordekt
Roy, UT
34, joined Jan. 2013
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| 6/29/2013 12:01:46 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 6/29/2013 12:21:06 PM |
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sldcorp
Salt Lake City, UT
53, joined Jun. 2013
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Before You Meet With God
A man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you -- we've looked at your life, and your really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?"
The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of bikers. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!"
"I'm impressed," St. Peter responded, "When did this happen?"
"About two minutes ago," came the reply.
Hey everyone, did you miss me?
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| 6/30/2013 12:42:35 PM |
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forthehordekt
Roy, UT
34, joined Jan. 2013
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.jpg)
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| 7/1/2013 1:57:38 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 7/1/2013 2:39:06 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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Moose. You're a party animal! 
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| 7/1/2013 6:11:41 PM |
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cbrxxman
West Jordan, UT
48, joined Jul. 2012
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Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”
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| 7/1/2013 7:06:11 PM |
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dontjinxme
Ogden, UT
44, joined Nov. 2012
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Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”
Right on!!
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| 7/2/2013 8:27:22 PM |
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sldcorp
Salt Lake City, UT
53, joined Jun. 2013
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Truer words.....
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| 7/3/2013 2:19:04 AM |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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| 7/11/2013 7:35:25 PM |
We need more comedy and less .. | Page 2 |
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rick0123
Salt Lake City, UT
31, joined Jan. 2012
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