| 4/1/2013 8:36:27 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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5sdneirf
Albuquerque, NM
48, joined Mar. 2013
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Not sure where to start to tell my husband I am done. Any advice.
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| 4/1/2013 9:25:08 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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brackenrod
Albuquerque, NM
61, joined Mar. 2013
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There is no "good" advice. If your done. Your done. Who can tell YOU what to do. Itll come to ya
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| 4/1/2013 10:13:27 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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hfimb
La Mirada, CA
46, joined Mar. 2013
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First , get offline ! Your still married , even if your only looking for friends .... you don't need that right now . Next get a divorce , then take time to heal ...... . Then jump back online, single and ready to move on with your life ... just saying :-/
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| 4/1/2013 11:14:28 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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whtsoutthere
Santa Ana, CA
47, joined Feb. 2012
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Be honest with him...how would u feel if u didn't know and he was online......treat him with the respect u would want...good luck
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| 4/2/2013 6:37:46 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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zedd1981
Concord, NC
36, joined Mar. 2013
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So far so true...
I just did this with my ex. You have to decide for yourself. If its the right thing for you. Then, once you do or before either way, meet a few friends off here, like get their phone numbers and such... Use them like a support group of sorts. Make SURE none are anywhere near you!! Not hooking up here, they are purely there to help !! To give you someone to talk to! To confide in.. You WILL need them, trust me. Then seperate... Get yourself away from him. But do NOT do it before you sign seperation papers... If you do he can file abandonment.. In some states. And if you leave the house, your done as far as ever trying to get it back if you wanted it..
And best thing period, start praying. Even of you don't believe in god. It's the simple act of talking about it, w rite it down, get it out. It will get Better.
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| 4/2/2013 8:19:33 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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magootch
Dallas, TX
59, joined Feb. 2013
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First you have to be honest with yourself.
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| 4/2/2013 9:47:02 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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sfunmom
Lilburn, GA
50, joined Oct. 2011
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Be honest about everything and talk to him and answer any thing he ask it will help make everything nice.you might able to be friends.
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| 4/2/2013 10:20:28 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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marylandman57
Elkton, MD
60, joined Jan. 2013
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I think he already knows! !
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| 4/2/2013 2:52:41 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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thrillerfiller1
Seal Beach, CA
53, joined Mar. 2013
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First , get offline ! Your still married , even if your only looking for friends .... you don't need that right now . Next get a divorce , then take time to heal ...... . Then jump back online, single and ready to move on with your life ... just saying :-/
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| 4/2/2013 7:23:20 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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5sdneirf
Albuquerque, NM
48, joined Mar. 2013
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Thank you for all the comments. I am not looking at doing anything wrong, I would like support as I have just moved here and know no-one to talk to. He is a good person and I would never disrespect him in anyway.
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| 4/3/2013 5:30:53 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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sfunmom
Lilburn, GA
50, joined Oct. 2011
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I understand because that's what my ex did to me but he would not talk.thats why it is important to talk. I'am here for you.
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| 4/3/2013 5:35:39 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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dreday_72
San Pedro, CA
44, joined Apr. 2013
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Well just say look i done , an text me an ill cheer u up
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| 4/3/2013 10:00:15 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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jrbogie1949
Ventura, CA
68, joined Mar. 2009
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Thank you for all the comments. I am not looking at doing anything wrong, I would like support as I have just moved here and know no-one to talk to. He is a good person and I would never disrespect him in anyway.
he's a good man, you have kids, and you're done with him. i mean no offense but this sounds a might self centered on your part. when you and hubby decided to have kids you entered into a couple decades long contract with them and now you say you're done with a good man. assuming the kids are good as well are you done with them too? are they done with thier father?
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| 4/3/2013 12:12:45 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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marylandman57
Elkton, MD
60, joined Jan. 2013
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He will know when he sees your bags packed and you. Gone
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| 4/3/2013 8:26:15 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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5sdneirf
Albuquerque, NM
48, joined Mar. 2013
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He is a good man in terms of a provider and father. He has always been honest and hard working but don't get me wrong he is far from perfect. We live in the same house yet have no conversation, I take care of the home and children (which I love to do) but I am sure he is just as unhappy as I am. My children are my world and it is for this reason I have not left.
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| 4/3/2013 11:06:32 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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etrnmntbella
Long Beach, CA
45, joined May. 2011
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I agree 
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| 4/3/2013 11:18:46 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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etrnmntbella
Long Beach, CA
45, joined May. 2011
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Sorry...having difficulty replying. I agree w PRAYER! Look for a local church depending on your faith.Pray about it n get your self a support group many churches have them. Get therapy if you can look up couceling centers in your area. If any man is worth your time effort n prayers its your husband. God blesses a marriage but that doesnt mean you should stay in it if there is abuse. If there is no abuse theres hope. My suggestion is seek spiritual help above all. Look for support in women support groups in your community you can find that in a local non profit too. Look it up online . Hope it helps n good luck!
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| 4/4/2013 12:07:24 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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tnbadboy1965
Gallatin, TN
52, joined Dec. 2012
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He is a good man in terms of a provider and father. He has always been honest and hard working but don't get me wrong he is far from perfect. We live in the same house yet have no conversation, I take care of the home and children (which I love to do) but I am sure he is just as unhappy as I am. My children are my world and it is for this reason I have not left.
1. Never, ever stay for the kids. They are much more attuned to what is going on than you may think and it hurts them more to see mom and dad living together unhappily than to be divorced and happy.
2. Talk to him. Ask him if he is unhappy. Don't assume anything.
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| 4/4/2013 12:36:56 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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cuddlemeee
Albuquerque, NM
55, joined Apr. 2013
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On a more serious note... So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a person than a secure future. The very basic core of a person’s living spirit is their passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
“This is your life. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don’t like your job, quit. If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing, life is simple. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them so go out and start creating. Life is short. Live your dream and share your passion.
It would be nice where I can see your happy smile and your sparkling eyes and enjoying your happiness with love……Thank you for your time, cuddle me.
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| 4/4/2013 9:40:14 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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jrbogie1949
Ventura, CA
68, joined Mar. 2009
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He is a good man in terms of a provider and father. He has always been honest and hard working but don't get me wrong he is far from perfect. We live in the same house yet have no conversation, I take care of the home and children (which I love to do) but I am sure he is just as unhappy as I am. My children are my world and it is for this reason I have not left.
i'm sure it's a tough situation for bothe of you. just sayin' what you already know, the kids are everything, so their wellbeing comes first. but your question asks about courage to tell your husband. perhaps thinking in terms of the 'kids first' concept you'll find the courage to tell him what you've told us. if he's as unhappy as you are, your words, he's likely looking for a change too. i'd think your kids are noticing a problem as well. i'm always for the 'up front, all cards on the table' approach. who knows, once you start hearing each other out anything is possible but when i'm in an unhappy place i change SOMETHING. good luck/
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| 4/5/2013 9:26:19 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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lost1to
Edmonton, AB
45, joined Sep. 2012
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Find a suport group if u live in canada 211has many avenues counceling is my best suggestion for you and your kids and your husband ither to separate or to find each other it will help
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| 4/6/2013 1:06:15 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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buddhanature
Santa Fe, NM
57, joined Oct. 2007
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He is a good man in terms of a provider and father. He has always been honest and hard working but don't get me wrong he is far from perfect. We live in the same house yet have no conversation, I take care of the home and children (which I love to do) but I am sure he is just as unhappy as I am. My children are my world and it is for this reason I have not left.
You ask How do you get the courage to tell your husband it's "over"?
I don't mean to sound brutal, or harsh, or just flat out of my mind, but I'm not a diplomat so I'm just going to be blunt and suggest that based upon what you've said above, it doesn't sound like either of you have the courage to carry on a normal conversation, let alone tell each other it's over.
Somewhere along the line you guys stopped having anything meaningful to talk about, and that's probably not gone un-noticed by the children who probably do have the courage of innocence to to at least initiate a conversation hoping it'll drag mom and dad out of their non- verbal rut and closer together, or at least talk about them.
What I suggest you do for a change of pace...and it's totally up to you...there's power in saying, "I can't do this anymore."...but it'll carry a lot more weight of emphasis in giving it the chance to become the marraige you miss, if you've gotten the kids out of the house for the night, and are cooking your man dinner when he come home (because you called and told him the house was on fire), dressed in nothing but an apron.
If that doesn't spark an interesting conversation, then girl, your hubby is freekin' brain-dead, zombified, impotent pinhead, and you might as well file divorce proceedings the very next day if it doesn't get a rise out of him one way or another.
Right, so if you can muster the courage to accept whatever response you may get, then at least you'll know you have the courage to do whatever it is you need to do if it doesn't work out the way you hope.
Good luck!
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| 4/8/2013 8:49:40 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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octoberrose103
Carthage, MS
40, joined Jul. 2012
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Ok I just had to reply to this. Everyone is b*tchin because u said he's a good man yet u want a divorce. There is probably something so hurtful to you that u dont want to discuss or you dont want to tarnish his reputation. I respect that and have done exactly that. My family got mad at me when I divorced my first husband. I wouldn't tell the hurtful things he did to me. We had been divorced 5 years before I let it come out. I got sick of being told what a mistake I made.
Only you know what is right for you. If you want a divorce, just tell him. Tell him why. If possible give him a chance to fix the problem. . Girl im telling you single life aint all u think it may be! I hate being single.. just hated my marriages more. Lol
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| 4/8/2013 9:14:29 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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lionsden6666
Little Neck, NY
40, joined Apr. 2013
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write him a letter
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| 4/8/2013 2:44:25 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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bayviewguy
Los Fresnos, TX
61, joined Sep. 2011
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Tell us why you do not have conversations? I do not perceive that you have exhausted all avenues. A good provider, otherwise good. Ask the damaged goods, bitter ones I hear on here how rare and to be treasured even that is. Are you not at 85% of success? Why are you at ends? Why not talk? Open up a tad.
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| 4/8/2013 3:46:12 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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tonyf408
San Jose, CA
51, joined Apr. 2013
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Tell him on the phone like mine did and c how good u make him feel! I still am pissed!
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| 4/8/2013 4:20:38 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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jackgrimm
Chicago, IL
50, joined Feb. 2013
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Hello....dear how are you doing am Gilbert from Californian ,L.A i am single and am 47y.o i just went in search of new friend and saw your profile i just felt if we could be friends and have special time to have some internal conversation about our self i hope you wouldn't mind ..
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| 4/9/2013 6:53:24 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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forthnight
Mentor, OH
55, joined Feb. 2010
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 Hmm think you posted in the wrong thread? on topic as hard as it might be sit down and have a face to face and come clean aboutyour feelings, it wont be easy but it is the right way to go! IMO
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| 4/9/2013 8:19:25 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Courage comes from within, OP. No one can teach you courage. You either have it or you don't. Talking out your problems and concern with your spouse is what you should consider doing, not posting your dilemma on the www.
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| 4/9/2013 8:19:51 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
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| 4/21/2013 8:43:48 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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hippo65
Albuquerque, NM
52, joined Apr. 2013
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I would like support as I have just moved here
We live in the same house yet have no conversation,
I don't get it.
You said you just moved here, than you said WE live in the same house.
Anyway, just sit down with him, sure it will be hard, but not as hard as living with someone and be unhappy.
Maybe he is wondering how to get a courage to tell you it's over.
Just deal with it like you take off the ban aid..It will only hurt a little.
Than you can work on the details.
Don't stay for the kids. They can see you two are unhappy.
Good luck with everything. Been there done that.
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| 4/28/2013 10:33:47 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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beebuster
Perry, MI
54, joined Nov. 2011
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Talk to him as a friend
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| 4/29/2013 10:11:47 AM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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tiedyemike
Hot Springs National Park, AR
61, joined Apr. 2013
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Not sure where to start to tell my husband I am done. Any advice.
You promised to stay with him for life and greener grass only looks better...
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| 5/4/2013 6:09:27 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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ronleeseberg
Mauston, WI
50, joined Jan. 2012
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If it didn't end badly, it would never end. Pointblank is the only way if you are going to do it. Just make sure that you are sure it is what you want.
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| 5/4/2013 10:23:05 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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glassslipper442
Cleveland, OH
66, joined Aug. 2011
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OP, are you sure you're done? You need to think about this very carefully. Divorce is a big decision that will affect the rest of your life. Think about the kids, they are a part of the divorce, too. Perhaps talk to a professional, try working things out. Have you tried communicating with him, just sit down & talk, give him a chance to make it right. Going through divorce isn't as easy as you might think, and being a single mom just as well.
Are you sure that he won't try to go for a custody? This is not unheard of nowadays.
You need to really think about all the consequences before making a decision.
Hope it'll all work out somehow.
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| 8/8/2013 4:34:21 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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juliet1959
Port Huron, MI
58, joined Aug. 2013
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I know it feels like you just want OUT, but you have a lot of positives here. My suggestion isn't about how to end it. Its about how to salvage it.
Before you say you're done, take the next month and start writin little notes. Things like "thinking about you!" Make sure you give him, in writing, at least 3 compliments everyday. Talk about how good a father he is and how hard he works. Thank him. Remind him in writing of funny moments you've had together,of intimacies. Do it every single day for 30 days. See what happens. Love, connectedness isn't something that happens. You have to work on it. If communication is difficult for the both of you, small notes can help. But don't throw in the towell before you try.
And get off the computer. The grass always looks greener when we are frustrated and lonely. But look around. Seriously look around here at all the lonely people. If the grass really was greener, we wouldn't be here. We'd be out with the loves of our lives. We are not..
TRY to save what you have, before you throw it away. Love is not thing. It is not a noun. It does not describe how you feel. It IS how you feel. It is a verb - action. It is what you DO.
Do it and see what you get in return.
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| 8/8/2013 4:46:29 PM |
How do i get the courage to tell my husband that its over? |
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juliet1959
Port Huron, MI
58, joined Aug. 2013
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Also, understand that if you two have just moved away from your previous support systems, there is a period of adjustment that is common. Invite the neighbors over for a cookout so that you can get to know them. Make it pot luck but make it a couples/family thing. Much more relaxed that way. You provide hamburgers and hotdogs (keeping it simple helps everyone to relax), everyone else brings a dish to pass. Make sure they all know it's for you to meet your neighbors.
I'd suggest finding other interests for you to get involved in but doing yet MORE things alone would not help. Y husband is very likely feeling just as out of place as you are. This will help you both.
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