| 9/3/2008 3:07:47 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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jackster123
Murfreesboro, TN
age: 53
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Money is a reality, because in a long term relationship there has to be enough money. I know, because I am on CPP, so I know I have to find a man who either has his own income or doesn't mind that I bring less to the table.
Other factors are: lack of knowledge, misconception, and fear about a person's specific disability, not having the character it takes to be a little more scrutinized, for lack of a better word, publicly, and perhaps misunderstanding about how a disability affects (or how it doesn't affect) a relationship.
A friend of mine married her doctor. May be a stretch, but see - there is hope! 
I definitely agree. I am Bi-polar and I have actually met one person face to face but after she found out I was trying to disability--- poof---no more contact. I am a good guy with a condition I did not ask for and take medication to control. Alas, so much with being honest. That is what the ladies say HONESTY IS A MUST, then you are honest and they disappear. I am in middle Tennesse and the dating pool is thin.
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| 9/3/2008 3:12:57 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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jackster123
Murfreesboro, TN
age: 53
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Uhm thats a wonderful question. I have the same problem which I think everybody that is handicap. I was on a website called disaboom and I chated w/ alot of handicap guys but they all want girls who don't have I disability and I just don't understand why.
They are looking for a nurse and a purse. I wish them luck.
I believe if two people with disabilities can combine resources and each of their abilities could offset the other's disability they could make a a good life for themselves.
Well, I can't speak for everybody, but I am not looking for a nurse or a purse. I just wnat someone who understands that my B-polar is under control and not look at me like I am crazy. I can take care of myself, thank uou very muchand I want a companion, an equal partner. I do not want to be taken care of, emotionally, physically, or financially.
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| 9/4/2008 6:10:06 AM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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dragonlady36
New Albany, IN
age: 36
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Uhm thats a wonderful question. I have the same problem which I think everybody that is handicap. I was on a website called disaboom and I chated w/ alot of handicap guys but they all want girls who don't have I disability and I just don't understand why.
They are looking for a nurse and a purse. I wish them luck.
I believe if two people with disabilities can combine resources and each of their abilities could offset the other's disability they could make a a good life for themselves.
Well, I can't speak for everybody, but I am not looking for a nurse or a purse. I just wnat someone who understands that my B-polar is under control and not look at me like I am crazy. I can take care of myself, thank uou very muchand I want a companion, an equal partner. I do not want to be taken care of, emotionally, physically, or financially.
I agree I can take care of myself it just takes me longer than "regular" people. Im slower, but I dont need a man to take care of me finacially but its hard to get that through to people.  This is good lets us vent our frustations!
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| 9/4/2008 8:25:12 AM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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starman2u
Indianapolis, IN
age: 59
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don't need a purse or s nurse, but a companion to share life with. my wife raan away when she found out i had parkinsoms but not before having a afair. at my age women only think of themselves an how much you can aford there wimes. i have found that women only look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
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| 9/4/2008 7:14:12 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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mountainman7
Chattanooga, TN
age: 41
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I was wondering why I was getting so many winks from people who have disabilities. Thing was they didn't tell me they had disabilities, I figured it out after we winked, and e-mailed and even progressed to I'ming. I had to pull teeth to get the admission that "well, I don't work because of --whatever." Personally I believe they were looking for a nurse with a purse. Now, that really pisses me off. I am a person with a disability and YOU want me to provide the purse and then for God sake after working my a** off all day come home and be your nurse!! Excuse you me, but I have no time nor sympathy for this woe is me forum.
I hear you there. I don't even think much about what I have because for the longest of time I didn't consider what I have a disability. That is until earlier this week, when I went to the local VR office. Then, she said, "You are disabled, you chould claim disability." I'm thinking to myself, "Why? I don't want to be limited by how much I could make if I am on disability." I am not even going to bother claiming disability. One of my best characteristics is that I am a man of fortitude and resolve. Doesn't matter what I have faced in life. I've found a way to overcome it.
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| 9/4/2008 7:20:44 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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mountainman7
Chattanooga, TN
age: 41
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It looks to me like 2 disabled people together would be a better relationship. The respect and understanding along with support for the other is right there. Working together in a relationship is the whole idea of a relationship. whether its friendship, lovers or being married.All relationships have up and downs.
Actually, I've thought about that idea myself for the past few months. First woman I ever dated was in a wheelchair. Guess what? I didn't think of her any less differently than anyone else. Sure, she was in a wheelchair, but I only saw that as something to help get her from point A to point B. Nothing more, nothing less. Other than that, she was like anyone else. So, I don't see why it is that people who are "different" in the eyes of society should be discriminated against and all. I won't be at all surprised if I find myself one day in a future relationship with someone who is considered physically, emotionally, or mentally handicapped or "different".
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| 9/4/2008 7:23:05 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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mountainman7
Chattanooga, TN
age: 41
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I am disabled too. The reasons are many for healthy people. The difficulty for the disabled to do some of the activities that the more active dating crowd. I am not in a wheelchair yet. I am however limited in my activities. People who are not disabled do not want to attend to or have the patience ot deal with someone that can not keep up. This is my situation. With my disabilities There are lots of activities we can do. Cook outs, traveling, dining out or in is still a great way to have fun. Society here in the deep south does not take that into consideration.It is a sad but true situation. 
You do understand about the Deep South. Of course people who are not disabled don't want to feel like their lives are impeded by anything or anyone. It's all about adapting to whatever.
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| 9/5/2008 5:51:18 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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detour66
Odessa, TX
age: 43
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dating has always been kinda of hard for me. i tend to attract the wrong type,and try to make something out of nothing and end up on the hurt side of it. and i am just recently disabled and know that the loss of use of my legs and oilfield income cost me my latest try at happly ever after that took up 5 years of my life and now on top of the wheelchair the kick in the gut from her has me finding it hard to even think i will ever have the sand to give it another shot.although im not much for giving in or up.so all i can say about this is do ur best at hell on wheels and always keep ur head up and boot down.
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| 9/10/2008 8:10:37 AM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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bossman2020
Denver, CO
age: 52
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well its like this. i'll tell you why dating and handicap is hard. we are damage goods thats all. im handicap im on SSDI my physical disabilities are petitemall epiepsy, diabetes tip 2. and other things. all im asking is to give me a chance. i can hold my own my disabilities you cant see. and i also have a lerning disabilitie. but im not a shamed of it. but most people well  at that. they think that there better then we are. and yes i to want a lady to just love me for who i am. so if i may say that is why dating handicap people is hard. just like said we are damage goods to them. im saying hello to all of you .
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| 9/12/2008 3:19:19 AM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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liltower
Las Cruces, NM
age: 51
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Well since we are all venting I lost my job I have A vestibular nerve bruise at the brain . went through a divorce and now my ex is trying to work things out . I just take it one day at a time . I have no income and she is playng games but I tell her like it is theres no other way. I dont have insurance and no way to pay for therapy just trying to get a job and see if I can pay the Dr to get his opinion see how it goes. I havent seen any of my old friends as soon as I told them about my problem gone like the wind. that told me alot. I was asked by a woman that knows nothing about balance problems why I left my job . told her to go try driving a semi tow truck with a gross load of 120000 lbs and see how she managed. let alone hava a disibilty. I cant drive with the windows down, cant listen to loud noises for prolong period of time. no motorcycles or bicycles in my life unless there 3 wheelers . Tell my history to a woman and they leave me sitting by myself . Whats a nice guy to do?
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| 9/20/2008 4:22:56 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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mikewheels312
Lewistown, PA
age: 37 online now!
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I'm 37 and in a wheelchair, and I've never been married. I had one "girlfriend" in junior high/high school, but I haven't seen or heard from her in almost 20 years. I am very desperate now.
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| 9/24/2008 8:06:04 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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yooper_man
Bruce Crossing, MI
age: 23
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I may only be 23 but, I only had one girlfriend before! This was in like ninth tenth grade. I found out she was a cheating lying um yeah you know the word. I know it's hard but, "we" just have to try like everyone else. "we" just have to try and work at it a litte harder.
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| 10/9/2008 7:36:00 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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firecrackrgal
Tahlequah, OK
age: 45
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I too am bipolar, taking meds and a fairly stable person. I rarely ever tell anyone for fear that i will be deemed CRAZY. Guess the cats out of the bag. I enjoy gardening and camping, swimming, grilling but have severe alleries which limits all outdoor activities to days when the pollen is extremely low. Sometimes I even have to wear a mask outside. I also have asthma and cannot be around anyone wearing cologne, smoke, perfume, scented candles, antipersperants, deodorants, air sprays, bleach. Sometimes I get migraines that last for several days. I have chronic tendonitis, nerve damage in my left arm, occasional hives, rashes and back problems. I am severly allergic to cats(which I love) nickel, all the trees, shrubs, and grasses in Oklahoma, dogs, birds and any other animal with hair. I appear to be relatively healthy. It would be really nice to have someone not look at me like I am crazy. BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE IT'S GOOD TO BE ALIVE! (Just reading all of that scares the hell outa me!)
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| 10/13/2008 1:19:38 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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mdm2008
Council Bluffs, IA
age: 29
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to me income is not an issue if you love some one enough you won't care if they are rich or poor. yeah houses are nice if you want some of kids but you can get by with with what you have. couples have been doing it for cenutrys. I don't make alot of mony on ssi and soc. secuity but i do make enough to show her a good time every once and a while. Or I could save it up and take a nice trip. or i could get a part time job and make some more income.
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| 10/13/2008 4:44:56 PM |
why is dating and handicap so hard? |
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opalcat
Cincinnati, OH
age: 49
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My problem is I have all sorts of apparatuses like a bipap, a compression pump for my legs. None of them exactly sexy. Plus I smell like eau de Icy Hot. I don't have to use the pump all the time just when they start to swell usually hot weather. The bipap is a constant, Darth Vader. I used to be on oxygen. Tell somebody you have bipolar and they wonder if you have a hatchet in your purse.
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