tallgirl8131
Marengo, IN
36, joined Jun. 2013
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There were these three farmers that wanted to win the state fair contest for having the largest hog. They decide that they should stick a cork in the pigs butt and feed him for a month before the fair. The only problem was that none of them wanted to be the one to stick the cork in. So they bought a monkey and trained him to stick corks in bottles. After a week or two of this, they stick the monkey... in the pen with the pig and a cork, and after a minute, the monkey did what he was supposed to do. The farmers fed the pig for a month and sure enough, they won first prize. Once they got home, they realized they still had to take the cork out. So they trained this same monkey to take corks out of bottles. They stuck the monkey in the pen with the pig, and the farmers woke up three days later in the hospital with a reporter sitting next to them. The reporter asked the first farmer, "What is the last thing you remember?" "Crap flying everywhere," the farmer replied. The reporter asked the second farmer the same question and got the same response. When she got to the third farmer and asked him what he could remember, he started crying. The reporter asked, "What's the matter?" The farmer replied, "The last thing I remember is the look on the poor monkey's face as he tried to stick the cork back in." 
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tallgirl8131
Marengo, IN
36, joined Jun. 2013
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man died and went to heaven. He saw a huge wall of clocks behind St. Peter. "Why all the clocks"?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.' 'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?' .......... .....'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, she never told a lie.' 'Where's President Obama's clock?' asked the man. Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan...
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netrkdvr
Columbus, NE
42, joined Feb. 2012
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