| 8/18/2007 4:38:28 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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nonickname49
Belchertown, MA
age: 57
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Cheated on. lies and deception... ariesera you said that if one has been
betrayed it means that the relationship was entered with out knowing the
hearts of one another from the beginning, Well its more complicated than
that, as many jump into marriage feet first, at a very young age, back in
the 50's and 60's it was pounded in our head that our station in life was
to get married, get a good job, house picket fence, children yada yada yada,
Then throw into those expectations the crap that life throws at a family
and you get delusionment, into a rut, boredom whatever, that however was
not necessarily my situation nor is it 100 percent everyones, my wife
came from a family where all her needs were met, hell she got everything
she wanted. So I guess she got bored or a midlife crisis, I call it the
grass is greener on the other side, syndrome. but I spoiled her, gave in
to her, so I guess I helped to create the mess. BUT AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED
THERE IS NO LOGICAL REASON TO CHEAT, OR LIE OR DECEIVE, NO EXCUSE!!!
If a person wants out, be man or women enough to say it. I do not know what
I despise more, the lying, or the cheating, as far as trust issues, I can
trust again, because if I do not, then any relationship is doomed for failure.
I have let it go, closed that door, now moving forward
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| 8/18/2007 4:39:06 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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candelicious
Washington, DC
age: 30
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it happened both ways with me..i have cheated and i have been cheated on..so i know what both sides of the coin feels like...now what the reasons were behind it is for only the truly interested to know and others to find out ahhahahahahahhaha!
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| 8/18/2007 4:48:50 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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ariesera
Artesia, NM
age: 57
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To cheat is to get something without having to work for it. The same as it was in school.....to get that better grade without trying. The same applies here. We create our own reasons for everything that we do in life, but it is only ourselves that we have cheated on. We have lost out on knowing the real meaning, truth, and appreciation of what we gained by cheating. Not really all that complicated.
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| 8/18/2007 4:57:10 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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nonickname49
Belchertown, MA
age: 57
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ariesera, I agree with your last statement about cheating its easier, getting
something with out working for it. My reference was in response to the statement
that people enter marriage not knowing the hearts of the other, Actually you just
clarified it, the person who cheated did not know their own heart. My statement
as to it being complicated was not about the cheating, that everyones married
life is complicated with different variances, that throw a relationship in
turmoil, or drives the cheater to cheat, Obviously to cheat, take the short cut
is a concious decision, a willful choice, and yes it is the easy way out.
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| 8/18/2007 5:00:58 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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ariesera
Artesia, NM
age: 57
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so true, nonick. Each marriage and relationship brings together two people of totally different lifestyles, opinions, habits, etc. What each one brings into the relationship determines what will become of them as a couple. As the old saying goes, "Garbage in, garbage out." Thanks for clarifying things. Good thoughts from someone who seems to understand relationships like I do.
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| 8/18/2007 6:00:28 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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klassykitten
Toccoa, GA
age: 50
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Cheated on....Never cheated. Got some stories that could be movie pilots. lol But the one that he still talks about that blew his mind and was my ultimate payback was....I caught him which of course he denied. I let it go for awhile and then one night when he passed out on the couch his cell phone went off with several text mails. Oh well in for a penny in for a dime...read them and they were from her wondering why she hadn't heard from him. I texted her back and said he was fine asleep at home on the couch. Well to make a long story short, the other woman and I decided we liked each other, became good friends and I kicked his ass out and let her move in when she needed a place to live. Even introduced her to my son. Now, that situation turned his mind to mush....Me and her are still in touch. That was the only one I did like the rest were trash. LOL
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| 8/18/2007 6:02:08 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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waltagain
Duncan, OK
age: 33
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ive cheated and ive been cheated on, shit happens and people make mistakes
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| 8/18/2007 6:19:15 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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loveableme40
Loves Park, IL
age: 40
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i was cheated on. i was with my ex husband for 20 years married to him for 17 years.
then found out he was seeing a so called friend of mine ,,,, yeah i have very bad trust issues. i cant help it.its very hard. i was very hurt!!
[Edited 8/18/2007 6:20:35 PM]
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| 8/18/2007 6:22:39 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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swcw25
Woonsocket, RI
age: 48 online now!
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I was 9 months pregnant when "she" called to say he had just slept w/ her.OUCH!!!! Peace
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| 8/18/2007 6:25:13 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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peaches73036
El Reno, OK
age: 40
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You know I just pray that all have peace however we were hurt doesn't mean there can't be happiness for us..We've all payed to play the game..we're lil older and wiser now..Don't close up your heart, Just take your time..I truly adore you all and enjoy the bantering. xoxoPeaches.
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| 8/18/2007 6:36:41 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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justfun_692
Beckley, WV
age: 55
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cheated on twice by two different women
tried the revenge thing on one of them...realised that was stupid..
two wrongs never make a right....
it's hard to trust again after getting burned...but I believe when one door closes..another one opens..and I do want to be able to trust again..
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| 8/18/2007 6:57:50 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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kirota
Webster City, IA
age: 34
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Cheated on. Found out 3yrs after the fact that my daughter has a half sister and the mother was my ex-rooom mate. Very hard pill to swallow.
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| 8/18/2007 7:02:42 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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britbrit
Gloucester, MA
age: 21
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damn Kirota.....I would have gone crazy on the bastard!
Cheated on as well.....but cant really prove it.
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| 8/18/2007 7:07:40 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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gawd
Appleton, WI
age: 53
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Kirota that sucks big time..
I was cheated on and then he finally left to be with her. I sent HER a thank you note..(the grass wasnt as green on the other side of the fence. They almost killed each other..LOL and then he wanted to come back..I laughed.)
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| 8/18/2007 7:13:30 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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lourawls
Tucson, AZ
age: 46
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WEll said. yes,yes,and YES, Ive been cheated on,out of the 7 years iI wou;d say the last two years have been the roughts.
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| 8/18/2007 7:21:17 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 46
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Cheated on. I try not to judge that all men are like my X
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| 8/18/2007 7:21:32 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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emd2
Severna Park, MD
age: 35
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My ex cheated with me and then on me. He married the slut today. Only 29 days after our divorce was final. What an ASS!!!! I was 17 he was 33. Now he is 50 and she is29 with 4 kids. I thank her though. I got more out of him in the divorce than ever would have staying with him. And yes, I cheated on him as well. He SUCKED in bed!!!!! I don't know why I ever married him.
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| 8/19/2007 6:53:46 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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ayeshah
Albuquerque, NM
age: 30
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i have been cheated on but i have not cheated and still wont, that pain that a person feels that hurt and mis trust i never want to cause anyone to feel like that its more than that i dont think i could ever hurt someone like that weather it be a friend or a BF or what have you, its just wrong! also its hard to heal from that kind of pain, you ask ya self , what could i have done or what didnt i do, most of the time its not even your fault its thats person being selfless and selfish!
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| 8/19/2007 6:57:36 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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housecall
District Heights, MD
age: 36
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man emd you are very angry with him huh? I think you really need to talk with him and get all of your anger issues out.
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| 8/19/2007 7:04:24 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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hamandbeans
Reading, MI
age: 42
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Cheated on after 7yrs of marriage When I became disabled she found her a few other guys.
But not before I lost my farm and went broke. lol But it did bring me closer to God and now I trust in him.
[Edited 8/19/2007 7:04:37 PM]
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| 8/19/2007 7:08:09 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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bryanbabe
Bryan, TX
age: 39
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cheated & was cheated on; it happens when you're not happy.
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| 8/19/2007 7:12:33 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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ayeshah
Albuquerque, NM
age: 30
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cheated & was cheated on; it happens when you're not happy.
Thats some BS, if you aint happy freaking leave let em know , talk communitcation is most ppls problem , you dont talk enough you aint got time to do what you all did to get that person, talk try things together even if it means camping in ya own back yard, getting a kiddy pool and acting stupid silly, ask questions re invent ya self re fall in love with each other, annd let that person know whats on ya mind what you might be needng and wantng ! ETC!
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| 8/19/2007 7:18:53 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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west57th
Seaford, NY
age: 51
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YOU WILL NEVER GET OVER IT, it will always remain in the back of your mind. When he comes home a little late or goes out on a nite with the boys. Do you really trust him or is love truely blind and deaf. We all see what we want to see.
Dr. Weston
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| 8/19/2007 7:24:52 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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peaches73036
El Reno, OK
age: 40
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I can't agree with our good Dr...sorry but, I'm over it, I don't judge men the same as i did once. I see all ppl with faults and errors but, that's not going to stop me from wishing for a new love to call mine and devout my time, love and care to..If you can love again surely you can trust...w/o one there is no chance for the other..good luck in life and love. Peaches.
To emd...how can you call your ex an ass when you readily admit to cheating on him also, that just confuses me sorry but, two wrongs don't make a right..jw. Peaches.
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| 8/19/2007 7:31:06 PM |
Cheater or Cheated On or Both? |
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sincerity
Woodbridge, NJ
age: 47
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I have been married twice the first I was married to for 10 years, he cheated with a couple of girls and even attempted with my cousin. The second married I was married to him for 16 years and he met up with his X girlfriend from when he was 16 on classmates.com. He was the worse he deserted my son and me and snuck out of the state. I just know he is in North Dakotah. I am happy he is gone, but he messed with his 16 year old son's head real bad. I guess I still have some anger issues with him still. I have days that I actually hate him for what he did to my son.
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