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8/7/2014 5:02:23 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
lookin4him2012
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,801)
Boone, NC
49, joined Jan. 2012


I know most women have to deal with the baby mama drama when they date a man with children. My oldest sister was dealing with the baby mama drama for a while at first with her newest guy and then the mama died in an accident. Now the child is with the daddy 24/7/365 and my sister is so in love with that man but can't stand to be around his kid every single time she's around him. He has sitters and family that helps but the kid is a rotten, fat, sloppy, rude kid and the mama taught the little boy (age 6) to be that way because his mama neglected him and rarely paid attention to him and the whole family spoiled him rotten cause he's an only grandkid.

My sister can't stand the kid and will only tolerate him because she is so in love with his father. He was easy when mama was living cause he only came to his dad's on weekends and even then he usually stayed with grandma and grandpa so they could hang out. Now the kid is always there.

I told her just hang in there and give it more time, it's only been 9 months. What do you all say?

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8/8/2014 8:20:25 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  

renata9784
Over 1,000 Posts (1,853)
Glade Spring, VA
37, joined Feb. 2014


she has to be able to take on the child if she wants to take on the man for the long run its a package deal 6yr olds r still babies and they need love to and she will always have to share his child will come first just like if she had the baby she would put it first and he would have to share.

8/9/2014 6:49:29 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  

prestonking
Wyco, WV
36, joined May. 2012


I think its Rude to call the kid fat ect and if the father was any good he wouldent wanna be around a woman who never wanted to be around his child..he would love his lil boy and start teaching him the right ways of life..take the child to church and teach him right from wrong and teach him some manners hes only 6 not 26!! He should Always put the lil boy first over any girl..because he was first in his life..and the woman should under stand that this child has lost the woman who gave birth to him and that might be causeing his actions some to..
I got 5 kids the yongest lives with me 24/7 365, and they do and will always come before any female..I dont care how pretty the girl is if she dont like one of my kids she could take her a** on down the road!! I live for my children every day not for the next woman thats gonna be in my life..

8/16/2014 12:36:04 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  
ronleeseberg
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,968)
Mauston, WI
50, joined Jan. 2012


The kid is reacting to all the stress in their life. Remember, kids lack the knowlage to deal with issues like adults do. We as adults learn to handle things because of what we learn. The kid has some healing to do and the dad needs to step up to the plate and help the child understand that sometimes things change and not always the way we want them to.

8/27/2014 2:09:14 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
rogue4271
Lincoln, NE
46, joined Nov. 2013


Quote from lookin4him2012:
I know most women have to deal with the baby mama drama when they date a man with children. My oldest sister was dealing with the baby mama drama for a while at first with her newest guy and then the mama died in an accident. Now the child is with the daddy 24/7/365 and my sister is so in love with that man but can't stand to be around his kid every single time she's around him. He has sitters and family that helps but the kid is a rotten, fat, sloppy, rude kid and the mama taught the little boy (age 6) to be that way because his mama neglected him and rarely paid attention to him and the whole family spoiled him rotten cause he's an only grandkid.

My sister can't stand the kid and will only tolerate him because she is so in love with his father. He was easy when mama was living cause he only came to his dad's on weekends and even then he usually stayed with grandma and grandpa so they could hang out. Now the kid is always there.

I told her just hang in there and give it more time, it's only been 9 months. What do you all say?


Not meaning offense, but it sounds like your sister doesn't deserve a good man who is a true father to his son like that. Maybe she should move on and let him continue to be a good father to his son.

8/27/2014 2:43:52 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
legaleye
Over 1,000 Posts (1,769)
Columbus, OH
65, joined Mar. 2008


She needs to chill and more importantly she and the dad need to formulate a proper plan to deal with the child and if that is the goal, create a new family. Both adults need to be positive influences and willing participants and they need to understand this will take time and effort.

One wonders where she feels a bit of jealousy or competition with respect to the dad's available time? Certainly an item to discuss.

At age 6, this sounds like a troubled young man. Also, dont downplay his loss of his mother in an accident. No matter what she was like to other adults, she was still his mother and the wound can go deep, real deep.

8/28/2014 1:25:04 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  
bluesrule
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,198)
Marshalltown, IA
60, joined Jul. 2011


Quote from lookin4him2012:
I know most women have to deal with the baby mama drama when they date a man with children. My oldest sister was dealing with the baby mama drama for a while at first with her newest guy and then the mama died in an accident. Now the child is with the daddy 24/7/365 and my sister is so in love with that man but can't stand to be around his kid every single time she's around him. He has sitters and family that helps but the kid is a rotten, fat, sloppy, rude kid and the mama taught the little boy (age 6) to be that way because his mama neglected him and rarely paid attention to him and the whole family spoiled him rotten cause he's an only grandkid.

My sister can't stand the kid and will only tolerate him because she is so in love with his father. He was easy when mama was living cause he only came to his dad's on weekends and even then he usually stayed with grandma and grandpa so they could hang out. Now the kid is always there.

I told her just hang in there and give it more time, it's only been 9 months. What do you all say?


Sounds to me that your sister is thinking only of herself and HER needs. A 6 year old child who has lost his mother is in need of stability and a loving safe environment. The last thing he needs is a woman who resents him and unable to put his needs above her own. Sounds like your sister isn't mama material.

9/19/2014 6:40:25 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  
ncbelieve
Concord, NC
57, joined May. 2014


Op I think if your sister truly loves this guy, she ought to walk away from this relationship. I say this because this man sounds like a good father. And it they were to get married, she sounds like she might end up being a wicked stepmother.
Its hard to be a stepmother. And if she does not like the kid,its going to be hard on everyone.

9/23/2014 10:50:04 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  
lookin4him2012
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,801)
Boone, NC
49, joined Jan. 2012


Quote from legaleye:
She needs to chill and more importantly she and the dad need to formulate a proper plan to deal with the child and if that is the goal, create a new family. Both adults need to be positive influences and willing participants and they need to understand this will take time and effort.

One wonders where she feels a bit of jealousy or competition with respect to the dad's available time? Certainly an item to discuss.

At age 6, this sounds like a troubled young man. Also, dont downplay his loss of his mother in an accident. No matter what she was like to other adults, she was still his mother and the wound can go deep, real deep.


Not really. He would leave his kid with the grandparents or his other family members in a heartbeat to do anything with my sister. She likes having that alone time but feels bad at the same time. This man never raised his kid anyway before the mother died so he isn't used to it and she was used to being with him a lot by themselves before the kid needed to move with him. He didn't even have a room for his own kid either and the kiddo is 6 years old already if that says anything about the father. I think the father sounds like an uncaring and unloving jerk but I can't make her stop seeing him.

9/23/2014 10:51:29 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  
lookin4him2012
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,801)
Boone, NC
49, joined Jan. 2012


Quote from bluesrule:
Sounds to me that your sister is thinking only of herself and HER needs. A 6 year old child who has lost his mother is in need of stability and a loving safe environment. The last thing he needs is a woman who resents him and unable to put his needs above her own. Sounds like your sister isn't mama material.


Yeah I agree too. But the kid isn't in a stable environment and never was before his mama died. He has always been shuffled around between the grandparents on each side and another relative since he was born. And this is continuing now because the dad has to work full-time and has to have someone watch the kid on weekends a lot of time so they can go out and on week days so he can work. The kid has NO stability in his life and never has.

9/23/2014 11:45:09 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  

luckylouie42
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,992)
Cedar Grove, WV
74, joined Mar. 2008


turn around, and run like hell, and never look back. JMO

10/12/2014 9:33:03 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  
here4foromsonly
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,568)
Cincinnati, OH
56, joined Sep. 2012


If she does not feel any love for the child it is time to walk away. Taking on step children is very hard in the best situations and impossible when the situation is so stressed. Unless she wants to set aside her feelings which is very hard to do then walking away is best for all Kids do sense when they are not cared about.

10/16/2014 7:26:13 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  
waki_1
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,385)
Suwanee, GA
51, joined Sep. 2014


This couples life is forever changed... The kid is forever changed too....It matters the maturity of your sister in her ability to handle the new "them"....It is time for the boyfriend to man up with his son and his girlfriend... The relationahip of the past us over...It's time to consider if they both are ready for the mommy daddy role together...It's hard but its reality... If your sister loves the man, she will have to look at his son with the same love.. Any bad habits, hygenes, simple appearance and behavioral problems can be corrected and taught to the child...

10/16/2014 8:39:51 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
mayflylady
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,045)
Conyers, GA
55, joined Jun. 2012


If my partner didn't love my child....I'd run like hell.

10/17/2014 9:19:31 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  

stargazzer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,864)
Creighton, NE
68, joined Feb. 2007


As a single dad of two daughters, I found my daughters would do anything to see I never dated and now that they are grown it has not changed much.
So I would guess the dificuties could be great

10/19/2014 11:53:51 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  
love_language
Over 2,000 Posts (3,174)
Speedwell, TN
44, joined Sep. 2014


It's impossible to create a harmonious blend when families have different parenting styles. Check your styles with his, is she thinking along the lines of marriage in the future and does she herself want a child, and if so would she be willing to have one with this man? If not...move on. If so...there's a lot of work she'll have to do and if he's not worth it to her...she'll need to move on, but she can always learn from having the experience.

I'm surprised at the responses of these other posters. Nice work guys, I've enjoyed reading your all's posts.

Thanks

11/21/2014 6:04:27 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
ladiebugg55
Over 2,000 Posts (2,680)
Redding, CA
61, joined Jun. 2012


Does her bf know how she feels about his son?..I would kick any man to the curb that couldn't tolerate my kid..I. hope she learns to like the kid before that child sees it himself..

11/21/2014 7:53:06 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  

sanddab
Ellisville, MS
65, joined Apr. 2008


I am a single/Divorced dad with four children,(NOT KIDS). I did find a lady who loved my children just as her own and they in turn loved her, Unfortunately she died of a brain hemorrhage at the age of 47. I would very much like to find another lady to share life with, But it seems that so many do not want to help raise another's children and I do not blame them or hold this against them as most have raised their own. But if any woman would like to be part of my life my children must be acceptable to them if not just go on their way as it would be so much trouble for all concerned. Children are the responsibility of the parents who conceived them and that should never end. lonely at times but happy with my children.

11/22/2014 9:40:17 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  

pickygirl72
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,556)
Pinon Hills, CA
46, joined Sep. 2011


Weekend father or not, kids are part of the package.

Maybe the father needs to spend quality time with the kid and your sister needs to take the back seat for awhile while the kid adjusts.

11/29/2014 8:40:25 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  

lovelycargirl
Stratford, CT
58, joined Oct. 2007


So rude to call someone kid fat. I am sure she knows about the kid before she start talking to the man . Also she got to realized the kid just lost the most important person in her life a mother.
My two kids are grown and on there own so I definitely know I would not want to date anyone with small kids so instead of taking on someone with small children and not liking the fact that the children are in the picture I would not start the relationship.
If you take a person with small children you have to make sure you can handle the situation and treat the children kindly.

11/29/2014 12:51:50 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  

debyduh
Over 1,000 Posts (1,594)
Hamburg, PA
54, joined May. 2014


It is not the kids fault. If she doesn't like the kid and can't find a way to step outside of herself and try to make it work then the kid and the dad are better off without her.

These relationships take time and hard work. Every child is worth it.

11/29/2014 5:48:21 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
lookin4him2012
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,801)
Boone, NC
49, joined Jan. 2012


Quote from lovelycargirl:
So rude to call someone kid fat. I am sure she knows about the kid before she start talking to the man . Also she got to realized the kid just lost the most important person in her life a mother.
My two kids are grown and on there own so I definitely know I would not want to date anyone with small kids so instead of taking on someone with small children and not liking the fact that the children are in the picture I would not start the relationship.
If you take a person with small children you have to make sure you can handle the situation and treat the children kindly.


Sorry to put the word 'fat' but it's how she referred to the kid. He's 6 and weighs almost 100 lbs. My sister weighs 115 herself. She finally got the nerve up to break up with him. He chased her for a while but she ignored him. He was a bad father all along. He only started getting close to his own kid this year after the mother died because he had to. He was letting his family raise his kid on his weekends before the death so he's no father of the year at all, not even close. I'm so glad she broke it off. She barely talks about him at this point and it's so refreshing to not hear about him every freaking day.

11/29/2014 5:50:08 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
lookin4him2012
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,801)
Boone, NC
49, joined Jan. 2012


Quote from sanddab:
I am a single/Divorced dad with four children,(NOT KIDS). I did find a lady who loved my children just as her own and they in turn loved her, Unfortunately she died of a brain hemorrhage at the age of 47. I would very much like to find another lady to share life with, But it seems that so many do not want to help raise another's children and I do not blame them or hold this against them as most have raised their own. But if any woman would like to be part of my life my children must be acceptable to them if not just go on their way as it would be so much trouble for all concerned. Children are the responsibility of the parents who conceived them and that should never end. lonely at times but happy with my children.


You're still raising children and you're 62? Wow. I feel for you. I have 3 children and they come first always but couldn't imagine raising little ones at your age. they wear me out.

1/9/2015 8:37:53 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  

lynyrd80
Over 2,000 Posts (2,926)
Wood River, NE
55, joined Jan. 2014


Quote from pickygirl72:
Weekend father or not, kids are part of the package.

Maybe the father needs to spend quality time with the kid and your sister needs to take the back seat for awhile while the kid adjusts.


Exactly, I tried to get along with a couple of GF's kids. The last one's were lazy, yet I still tried. Bad situation, I never allowed them near my kids.

3/9/2015 1:02:39 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
boifresh23
Jackson, TN
28, joined Aug. 2013


Prime candidate.


3/11/2015 10:51:33 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  

cole_tanner
Fort Pierre, SD
35, joined Dec. 2012


I say she needs to leave if a woman doesn't like my kid they can kick rocks cuz my baby comes first and my child ain't going anywhere if he let's this happen he ain't worth a shit as a father

3/12/2015 7:39:27 AM Men with kids and no mama drama  

jrbogie1949
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,851)
Ventura, CA
68, joined Mar. 2009


Quote from rogue4271:
Not meaning offense, but it sounds like your sister doesn't deserve a good man who is a true father to his son like that. Maybe she should move on and let him continue to be a good father to his son.


what he said.

5/31/2015 9:58:48 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  

mrgood4uman
Flowery Branch, GA
49, joined Mar. 2015


no baby mama drama I don't have thatjust me and my kids

6/21/2015 5:44:20 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
gentlebear1949
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (28,723)
Apple Creek, OH
67, joined Jul. 2008




6/29/2015 1:51:48 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  

txcountrymedic
Over 1,000 Posts (1,382)
Pleasanton, TX
39, joined Mar. 2014


I am a divorced single father with custody of my son. I have no baby momma drama. So is my best friend. But neither one of us can find a good woman that is intested.

7/21/2015 5:42:08 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
kingsdale3000
Toledo, OH
51, joined Mar. 2013


Wow. I think it was judge Mabelean who remarked a few years ago. "Put your Nike's
on and run".

Like the wind.

7/23/2015 3:49:55 PM Men with kids and no mama drama  
good_dr
Spokane, WA
53, joined Dec. 2011


No baby momma drama. Seems like when the gals like to dig as to why. They don't like hearing the truth. I wouldn't trade my kids for the world. Their loss is the way I look at it.