| 8/9/2014 8:13:44 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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cocobrown_85
Houston, TX
32, joined Mar. 2012
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| 1. I really don't know |
| 2. I'm lost |
I met this guy on here and we hit it off from day one . Lets just say we been together ever since that day. We get along well and can talk for hours no problem no dead silence. He tells me when he around me he can be himself and not think about his problems. Also he tells me that I make him feel like a king and he hasn't had that before. Which you would think would be a good thing right...?  Smh but he calls me his friend or his homegurl . Then turns around and then some days calls me baby talking bout how much he miss me. I found out that he tells people yeah shes a sweetheart but she just a homie even though he always with me. I'm so lost cuz he be telling me "u know u mines right"...
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| 8/9/2014 8:20:03 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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areyoumyking
Madison Heights, VA
43, joined Jun. 2014
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 first
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| 8/9/2014 8:20:51 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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barrydalmi
Baltimore, MD
54, joined Dec. 2007
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Have sex...
One of a few things will happen- all of them "normal"
1. You will decide it doesn't work and remain friends.
2. You will decide it doesn't work and not remain friends.
3. You will decide it works and date for a while and live happily ever after.
4. You will decide it works, date, break up and go your separate ways (75% of relationships)
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| 8/9/2014 8:29:26 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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Did u all established a relationship, cause what I'm reading just sound like a friend indeed but to his friends u his homie and he even call u home girl or friend, that's exactly what u are to him
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| 8/9/2014 8:32:55 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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baileybug32
Sacramento, CA
36, joined Mar. 2013
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You can't stay out of the friend zone if he isn't attracted to you. Be happy you found a nice friend.
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| 8/9/2014 8:33:08 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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rickyosuave
Bridgeport, TX
54, joined Jul. 2013
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Friend zones are not a bad thing except when you realize he is just using you for advise to catch the right lady. Obviously him asking you these things would indicate he is not seeing you as anything more then an advisor
Id say call it off and go find someone who is really interested in what you are and who has a goal or two in life
Having Sex is not the answer and will just confuse the issue at hand. Sex is not the way to solve a problem. And it may create bigger problems because when you do find the guy that flips your switch how can you honestly say He is your friend and you havent had sex with him. If in fact you have. Its like having ex baggage. You wouldnt want a guy with many women friends verses men friends.
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| 8/9/2014 8:33:27 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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cocobrown_85
Houston, TX
32, joined Mar. 2012
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I did I put it on him and then some..he tells me all the time that I got some good ?????an I better not put it on no one else..
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| 8/9/2014 8:41:06 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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cocobrown_85
Houston, TX
32, joined Mar. 2012
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Did u all established a relationship, cause what I'm reading just sound like a friend indeed but to his friends u his homie and he even call u home girl or friend, that's exactly what u are to him
Yes we said we here gonna let whatever happens happen. but sometimes he tell me he's my king and I'm his queen he get very upset if he does here from me while I at work"damn u didn't think or miss me all day" . I just don't know when I try and back off a little he notice and be like I'm your man why u acting funny I don't like that
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| 8/9/2014 8:46:17 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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Yes we said we here gonna let whatever happens happen. but sometimes he tell me he's my king and I'm his queen he get very upset if he does here from me while I at work"damn u didn't think or miss me all day" . I just don't know when I try and back off a little he notice and be like I'm your man why u acting funny I don't like that
He's one of those men, that like to run game and that's what he's doing, telling u exactly what u need to hear don't fall for it
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| 8/9/2014 8:56:53 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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mrfckinpetey
Orlando, FL
32, joined Jun. 2014
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Be attractive, it's that simple.
If you're in the friend zone and don't want to be, it either means you're lazy (don't take care of your body and image) or you're too shy (too much of a p*ssy to do anything).
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| 8/9/2014 9:15:21 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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brownsugg93
Milwaukee, WI
21, joined Jul. 2012
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Sounds like someone is going to become a certified side piece
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| 8/9/2014 9:16:42 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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brownsugg93
Milwaukee, WI
21, joined Jul. 2012
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I did I put it on him and then some..he tells me all the time that I got some good ?????an I better not put it on no one else..
lol smh
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| 8/9/2014 9:18:26 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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cocobrown_85
Houston, TX
32, joined Mar. 2012
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He's one of those men, that like to run game and that's what he's doing, telling u exactly what u need to hear don't fall for it
Yes thats what I be thinking on one hand but on the other he goes out his way for me.He picks me up from work takes me out and everything. He goes out his way to make me feel so special. So how do I pull away cuz I already care alot for him..smh
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| 8/9/2014 9:18:28 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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atiramm
Finger, TN
27, joined Mar. 2013
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You should ask him to marry you.
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| 8/9/2014 9:35:01 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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Yes thats what I be thinking on one hand but on the other he goes out his way for me.He picks me up from work takes me out and everything. He goes out his way to make me feel so special. So how do I pull away cuz I already care alot for him..smh
No need to pull away, walk away sounds better but it's up to u tho just remember that you're just his home girl
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| 8/9/2014 10:07:12 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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justwant2cuddle
Galesburg, IL
31, joined Jul. 2012
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Seems like he wants to keep you by his side until he finds somebody *better*. Seems like he wants *to have his cake and eat it too* like the old saying goes. I would be careful girl, you deserve to have a guy that wants all of you and only you.
If you are okay with just being his go to girl and his homegirl then do it on your terms. Friendships are good but when you throw sex into them it gets it all complicated. I wish you the best.
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| 8/9/2014 11:03:36 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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cosmicgem
Springfield, MO
60, joined Jun. 2011
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He doesn't want You to be with anyone else. But I would bet, you are Not His one and only. He sounds manipulating. What you are now. Which isn't that important to him except perhaps as territorial property. Is all you will ever be to him. I think you should end it and save yourself a lot of heartache. You deserve better. If he wants to know why? Let him know you want two different things and you want more than what he wants from your relationship. And don't have sex with him. Unless all you want is a FWB.
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| 8/10/2014 11:19:30 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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testsignup
Springfield, VA
63, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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Yes thats what I be thinking on one hand but on the other he goes out his way for me.He picks me up from work takes me out and everything. He goes out his way to make me feel so special. So how do I pull away cuz I already care alot for him..smh
He's got you snowed alright, by doing just enough for you to believe it's meaningful.
The thing is, real love is all or nothing. Players put in TONS of work. All the time. Stop your silly thinking that "he wouldn't do all that nice stuff, if he didn't really care!"
Bull crap on a purple stick with flashing LED's.
When someone's a dedicated player, they work it AS A JOB. That means they pay attention to when your birthday is, and your other special days, and they do some small thing for you. They pick you up from work (when there isn't someone else they are playing with the same schedule), and on and on. It's not actual care, it's the "cost of doing business" in the player world.
At least he's partially honest. He let you know that you are not the one.
And no, there's no such thing as doing something to prevent someone from sticking you in their "friend zone." No matter what anyone says, there isn't, because "Friend Zone" is just a label for what HAPPENS. It isn't a real place or a logical decision/process. The guy deals with you, gives you a try, and finds out by experiment what you are to him. He doesn't decide whether or not to fall for you, he DISCOVERS how he feels and what he wants. Just as you do, as a woman. This one has discovered that you are an FWB, or whatever.
Sorry things didn't work out as you'd hoped, but no there's nothing you can do except either recognize what reality is, or delude yourself.
Good luck. I recommend against wishful thinking, based on extensive experience with how far it gets you (0 miles).
[Edited 8/10/2014 11:20:55 PM ]
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| 8/11/2014 2:06:41 AM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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ronleeseberg
Mauston, WI
50, joined Jan. 2012
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Um, yeah, I guess.
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| 8/11/2014 6:24:20 AM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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mortara
Pittsburgh, PA
63, joined Feb. 2014
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I met this guy on here and we hit it off from day one . Lets just say we been together ever since that day. We get along well and can talk for hours no problem no dead silence. He tells me when he around me he can be himself and not think about his problems. Also he tells me that I make him feel like a king and he hasn't had that before. Which you would think would be a good thing right...? Smh but he calls me his friend or his homegurl . Then turns around and then some days calls me baby talking bout how much he miss me. I found out that he tells people yeah shes a sweetheart but she just a homie even though he always with me. I'm so lost cuz he be telling me "u know u mines right"...
Nothing stops a friend zone faster then talking about another guy or girl and how good he or she is in bed.
[Edited 8/11/2014 6:24:39 AM ]
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| 8/11/2014 6:26:17 AM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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soulfullaussie
Victoria
Australia
51, joined May. 2014
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You have no say if you do or dont .. If you both are sexually attracted to each other and able to to meet and keep him happy .. that might save you ..If not you are doomed 
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| 8/11/2014 6:37:08 AM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011
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I guess I'm missing something here.
I was around the hood for a while and about all blackmen called their women a homie or home girl.
Maybe it means something different now....
Well since you stated your both so great at talking for hours on end.
I'd suggest comfronting him with this....and say just what you did here.
Op...with enough men especially at your age....they like to play the big man role in front of each other....afraid to show they have that other side....etc, etc...this is especially true with younger black men.
So maybe thats all this is, and he really does care.
Find out from him.....here, you'll mostly get other womens opinion based on their experiences....of which if you read here enough....are tainted at best.
and this is your experience....remember actions speak louder than words.
[Edited 8/11/2014 6:38:38 AM ]
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| 8/11/2014 6:44:36 AM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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firey_green1
Austin, TX
34, joined Apr. 2014
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Yes we said we here gonna let whatever happens happen. but sometimes he tell me he's my king and I'm his queen he get very upset if he does here from me while I at work"damn u didn't think or miss me all day" . I just don't know when I try and back off a little he notice and be like I'm your man why u acting funny I don't like that
Damn run like hell from those types!!! 
He's just keeping you in the friend zone.. it's possible he has someone else he's actually dating...
And when HE FEELS like it hell tell you what you wanna hear and not mean it...
U run the other way!!!
Good am by the way 
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| 8/11/2014 6:47:25 AM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Op...if you can wait just a week.
I've ordered a crystal ball, and it should be in by Friday.
but if thats too long.
Call California Phychics.
I'm sure, they will tell you the truth.
It seems to me, a player wouldn't be with you almost everyday, and spend hours on end, just laying together talking....etc, etc.
but maybe they have advanced a lot these days.
check around the hood and see if there is a school for players.
[Edited 8/11/2014 6:49:52 AM ]
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| 8/11/2014 11:23:10 AM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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ladybugruth58
Patton, PA
58, joined Feb. 2014
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friends are the best foundation to a good relationship. but if it dosent move closer or he has others then it is not working. I don't understand men either, but I do what I want not play games either
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| 8/11/2014 11:38:58 AM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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tweetyttweet
Raleigh, NC
50, joined Jul. 2014
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I met this guy on here and we hit it off from day one . Lets just say we been together ever since that day. We get along well and can talk for hours no problem no dead silence. He tells me when he around me he can be himself and not think about his problems. Also he tells me that I make him feel like a king and he hasn't had that before. Which you would think would be a good thing right...? Smh but he calls me his friend or his homegurl . Then turns around and then some days calls me baby talking bout how much he miss me. I found out that he tells people yeah shes a sweetheart but she just a homie even though he always with me. I'm so lost cuz he be telling me "u know u mines right"...
I don't understand why so many people have to "rush" into "defining" every thing? Why not just relax and enjoy what is happening. learn to be 'good friends' before progressing into something more. Being put or putting someone into the friendzone at first, isn't always a bad thing. Heck, I've been texting a man that I'm very attracted too but I've 'friend zoned' him for right now. He was in Chicago and I'm excited to just see him again to "hang out"  wanting to learn how to enjoy his "company" before enjoying his "sex" if it continues in that direction...
 
[Edited 8/11/2014 11:39:26 AM ]
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| 8/11/2014 2:44:08 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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mortara
Pittsburgh, PA
63, joined Feb. 2014
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I can tell you are just about ready for him to pick you up at around 11am, spend all day with him and by 9PM, both of you are f**king like bunnies through the night.
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| 8/11/2014 2:58:22 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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darthcapital
North York, ON
47, joined Apr. 2014
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are you sleeping with him ?
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| 8/11/2014 4:15:35 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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tweetyttweet
Raleigh, NC
50, joined Jul. 2014
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I can tell you are just about ready for him to pick you up at around 11am, spend all day with him and by 9PM, both of you are f**king like bunnies through the night.
erm... ^ yes, this thought has crossed my mind. We've gone dancing, out with friends, out to eat, etc. and will perhaps do something this coming weekend since he's just returned from chicago. It's pretty cool because the night we met he mingled right in with the group of friends I was with- he has a harley, so, he clicked with the fellas straight away. lol. Everybody was coupled but me... i was always the single person of our group... not so much anymore, which makes going out and doing things much funner now.
are you sleeping with him ?
No. not yet, i haven't. I'm still in the coy, giggly stage whenever I'm around him.
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| 8/11/2014 4:58:44 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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gamerman17
New York, NY
29, joined Apr. 2010
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I met this guy on here and we hit it off from day one . Lets just say we been together ever since that day. We get along well and can talk for hours no problem no dead silence. He tells me when he around me he can be himself and not think about his problems. Also he tells me that I make him feel like a king and he hasn't had that before. Which you would think would be a good thing right...? Smh but he calls me his friend or his homegurl . Then turns around and then some days calls me baby talking bout how much he miss me. I found out that he tells people yeah shes a sweetheart but she just a homie even though he always with me. I'm so lost cuz he be telling me "u know u mines right"...
Truthfully, I feel that he considers you his, but doesn't want that label of girlfriend or lover thrown around others. Its obvious that he has feeling for you but holds back on the label of girlfriend to friends closest to him. He loves you, but is either scared of commitment or has to maintain his image of his single life. If this is the case, then that's selfish on his part and psyche. I would have a serious talk about this and get feelings out in the open before you want to take things further.....gamer
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| 8/11/2014 9:08:53 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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stephisicated
Teaneck, NJ
34, joined Jan. 2013
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Continuously upgrade yourself and get someone just as good or on a better social status that the guy you like.
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| 8/11/2014 9:44:20 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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franquib
Alexandria, VA
44, joined Jul. 2014
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Seems like he wants to keep you by his side until he finds somebody *better*. Seems like he wants *to have his cake and eat it too* like the old saying goes. I would be careful girl, you deserve to have a guy that wants all of you and only you.
If you are okay with just being his go to girl and his homegirl then do it on your terms. Friendships are good but when you throw sex into them it gets it all complicated. I wish you the best.
I second that!!!
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| 8/11/2014 10:46:10 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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amusicluvr
Salem, OR
64, joined Nov. 2013
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For Guys:
You don't decide whether you get into the Friend Zone, or not...the woman does. You have no control over it, and can do nothing about it once you are there. A woman decides whether she would ever be willing to lay you, or not, within 15 seconds of first sighting you. Then you go either into The Friend Zone (will never have any chance of being laid), or into The Possible Lover Zone....sure to be laid if everything else is right. Then the woman gets to know you, and learns about your tastes, habits, etc, and can still put you in The Friend Zone (if you aren't there already)...or not...depending upon how things go. The woman then balances your good points against your bad. Your: height, weight, build, income, voice, career, contacts, chest hairiness (or lack thereof), facial hairiness (or lack thereof), etc, all get looked at, and weighed...until the woman decides that you are in The Friend Zone (for life), or The Lover Zone. The whole process can take a couple of minutes, or six months, or any other time whatever. Each woman evaluates each man in her own time,and way, and can not be rushed, or pressed. Once her mind is made up, you can't do anything to change it in your favor-get her to move you out of The Friend Zone, for example-BUT you CAN do things to change her mind AGAINST you. She may be all set to lay you...until you hit her dog when it nips your finger, for example. Then she decides against laying you, and you are on her Enemies List.
Your only hope of avoiding The Friend Zone is to be as attractive as possible, from the start. Be as: tall, rich, well built, highly educated, well hung, witty, charming, sensitive, generous, hairy, etc, as possible. If you are short, having a really hairy chest can make up for it. If you are poor, being especially tall, and well built, can overcome that. If you have a low class job, being particularly romantic, and knowing a lot about fine wines, horses, or whatever a woman is interested in, helps. If you have a terrible personality, and are ugly, you can overcome that by being very rich. It is all a balancing act. Have more attractive features than unattractive ones, and you have a greater chance of staying out of The Friend Zone.
For Gals:
Most guys do not do The Friend Zone thing. If you an adult female who seems even half willing, most guys are going to want to-and try to-lay you. The exceptions will be guys who are gay, and in the closet, and using you as a smoke screen. They want other people to see the two of you together, and assume you are doing each other...so those seekers will not suspect him of being as gay as he is.
It is also possible that the guy is straight, and wants you ...on his back burner...in case of emergency...when his most favored ladies are not available. He will do anyone but you, as long as they let him, but when the rest turn him down, he will give you a go. Until he knows he is not getting it from the other women in his life, he will save it for them, and treat you like a male friend. When he feels he is apt to not get it from the other ladies, he warms up to you, and lays the ground work for getting you to give 'it' to him. If this is the case, you will always be a back bencher to him. Dump him, and find someone who wants you as his First Choice.
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| 8/11/2014 10:51:08 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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twining
Anderson, SC
25, joined Jun. 2014
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How to stay out of the friend zone.....
1) don't be boring
2) be adventurous
3) if he's taking control, you take control. If you're taking control, tell him to stop being a lazy mofo and prove to you why he should be your number one b*tch
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| 8/12/2014 1:30:16 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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cocobrown_85
Houston, TX
32, joined Mar. 2012
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Truthfully, I feel that he considers you his, but doesn't want that label of girlfriend or lover thrown around others. Its obvious that he has feeling for you but holds back on the label of girlfriend to friends closest to him. He loves you, but is either scared of commitment or has to maintain his image of his single life. If this is the case, then that's selfish on his part and psyche. I would have a serious talk about this and get feelings out in the open before you want to take things further.....gamer
Well he post stuff and pictures of me on his fb. He writes stuff like it feels to lay under someone who knows your worth and she makes me feel like king an that he never had that before. Also he tells me that he would never do anything to hurt me.
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| 8/12/2014 1:48:31 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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uncawked
Houston, TX
49, joined Jun. 2014
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Suck his d*ck.
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| 8/12/2014 2:12:10 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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womanpleaser304
Houston, TX
37, joined Mar. 2014
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He is. Just using you sex baby. He might have more thank one woman.
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| 8/12/2014 3:16:26 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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bluecougareyes
Chelan, WA
72, joined Nov. 2008
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How do you stay out of the friend /horny zone..??
Just PASS THEM ALL UP !
They just going to use you as a TOOL !
,
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| 8/12/2014 4:09:42 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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rose1206
Gilbert, AZ
35, joined Jul. 2012
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Don't sit around waiting for your friend, expand your options. I'm sure he'll change his tune real quick! 
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| 8/12/2014 5:16:42 PM |
How do you stay out of the friend/homie zone..?? |
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thatchic82
Lansing, MI
34, joined Feb. 2013
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Open communication. As comfortable as you are talking with him for hours, you should ask him if he's willing to take your friendship to another level. What's the worst that could happen?
[Edited 8/12/2014 5:17:17 PM ]
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