| 12/25/2014 3:21:38 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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catti_brie
Springdale, AR
43, joined Jul. 2013
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So my ex and I have been living in separate homes since Sept. We are divorcing, but it's not final. We have two kids together (13 yr relationship). I have full custody. Today he tells me that our kids have a play date. I asked a neighbor kid? He says no. He's been seeing someone for a month and a half and thinks it's ok for him to bring the new girl and her kid around ours. I think it's way to early..not only are we not divorced yet but kids get attached so easily..
What are your thoughts on whenif you would introduce your kids to the one your dating? I think 6 months or longer...
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| 12/25/2014 6:04:33 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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good_dr
Spokane, WA
53, joined Dec. 2011
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Every one is different. Sure we all want to protect our kids. But there does come a time, that there is no real answer for. Gals may hate me for this but oh well, and it does go both directions. Do a background check and also on the other kids depending on their ages. As long as they can control them self before children. What is it going to hurt to see if all the kids will get along together? Little food for thought. I know that if my kids are not going to get along with the others. That is a factor to just stay friends. I know that dreaded friends zone. I myself wouldn't want to invest too much too soon, and than find out later down the road there will be problems.
It really just all depends.
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| 12/25/2014 7:10:47 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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hatesthesun
Biddeford, ME
32, joined Sep. 2014
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Tough one. I'd let him if you say no its only gonna cause problems
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| 12/25/2014 8:54:09 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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he needs to come alone, he just sprung this news on u and u don't know nothing about her, good dr i actually agree it's up to u op
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| 12/25/2014 10:37:13 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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ladymelody71
Land O Lakes, FL
45, joined Sep. 2014
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I'd say no. If the relationship is not a permanent one, why bring someone else in... only to leave them and hurt them? Just my 2cents.
Liz
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| 12/26/2014 12:22:54 AM |
How long would you wait? |
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rose1206
Gilbert, AZ
35, joined Jul. 2012
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I'd say no. If the relationship is not a permanent one, why bring someone else in... only to leave them and hurt them? Just my 2cents.
Liz
^^^^
I agree 100% plus you two are still legally married OP. Even more reason to keep the kids out of it.
[Edited 12/26/2014 12:23:29 AM ]
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| 12/26/2014 1:58:29 AM |
How long would you wait? |
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catti_brie
Springdale, AR
43, joined Jul. 2013
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^^^^
I agree 100% plus you two are still legally married OP. Even more reason to keep the kids out of it.
That was my thoughts. And I did remind him that we are still technically married..and asked him to please just wait till the divorce was final. And to remember that with how young the kids are that they attached to people very easily. But all he heard was I don't want him to be happy and live his life. Smh
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| 12/28/2014 1:06:50 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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2brians
Freeport, IL
44, joined Mar. 2012
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I have a son that's 14..
wait till you know it's gonna last... temporary people suck for kids
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| 12/28/2014 8:44:54 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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ajbranch23
Dallas, TX
26, joined Aug. 2014
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I would wait on that he only known her for a month it too early to know if it's really serious or not to bring kids around
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| 12/29/2014 12:24:22 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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oppsiidazi
Orr, MN
47, joined Oct. 2014
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So my ex and I have been living in separate homes since Sept. We are divorcing, but it's not final. We have two kids together (13 yr relationship). I have full custody. Today he tells me that our kids have a play date. I asked a neighbor kid? He says no. He's been seeing someone for a month and a half and thinks it's ok for him to bring the new girl and her kid around ours. I think it's way to early..not only are we not divorced yet but kids get attached so easily..
What are your thoughts on whenif you would introduce your kids to the one your dating? I think 6 months or longer...
How old are the kids? Yes, bringing someone into their lives too soon isn't a good thing. Sad thing, though, there are a lot of parents who will think of their own needs/wants before whats really best for the children. Also, you will not have any control over what your Ex will do.  
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| 1/2/2015 8:29:36 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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my2sunshine
Pulaski, NY
51, joined Apr. 2013
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I really doesnt matter what he does on his time with the children.
Asking the neighbors? WTF is wrong with you?
You are getting divorced ... Because you don't see eye to eye....so you lose the ability to control, suggest or anything else to the ex on what he does with his time.
Stay out of it and take care of yourself!
[Edited 1/2/2015 8:30:25 PM ]
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| 1/3/2015 8:42:34 AM |
How long would you wait? |
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catti_brie
Springdale, AR
43, joined Jul. 2013
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I really doesnt matter what he does on his time with the children.
Asking the neighbors? WTF is wrong with you?
You are getting divorced ... Because you don't see eye to eye....so you lose the ability to control, suggest or anything else to the ex on what he does with his time.
Stay out of it and take care of yourself!
Who said anything about asking the neighbors? I asked him. So what your saying is you would have no problem with you ex possibly introducing multiple women into your children's lives (who are ages 4 & 8)? Especially while you are still legally married? Interesting view point,thx.
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| 1/3/2015 9:03:19 AM |
How long would you wait? |
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bier95
Clara City, MN
66, joined May. 2011
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So my ex and I have been living in separate homes since Sept. We are divorcing, but it's not final. We have two kids together (13 yr relationship). I have full custody. Today he tells me that our kids have a play date. I asked a neighbor kid? He says no. He's been seeing someone for a month and a half and thinks it's ok for him to bring the new girl and her kid around ours. I think it's way to early..not only are we not divorced yet but kids get attached so easily..
What are your thoughts on whenif you would introduce your kids to the one your dating? I think 6 months or longer...
So soon to be EX has a girl friend, sounds to me your jealous. Also 1 girl friend is not introducing multiple women to the kids. Also this could come back at you in COURT that you refused to let the father have the kids. What he does with his time is his, not your place to tell him what to do. You said and I quote "I asked a neighbor kid? He says no." The neighbor kid has no say in this and it is wrong of you to ask him. Divorce can be hard, but you need to let EX lead his life and you lead YOURS.
Edit to say
Let the EX have the kids, kids get along with each other better than adults.
[Edited 1/3/2015 9:05:37 AM ]
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| 1/3/2015 11:36:39 AM |
How long would you wait? |
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catti_brie
Springdale, AR
43, joined Jul. 2013
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So soon to be EX has a girl friend, sounds to me your jealous. Also 1 girl friend is not introducing multiple women to the kids. Also this could come back at you in COURT that you refused to let the father have the kids. What he does with his time is his, not your place to tell him what to do. You said and I quote "I asked a neighbor kid? He says no." The neighbor kid has no say in this and it is wrong of you to ask him. Divorce can be hard, but you need to let EX lead his life and you lead YOURS.
Edit to say
Let the EX have the kids, kids get along with each other better than adults.
Ok so I forgot punctuation.. I asked the EX if it was a neighbor kid. And in 3 months time this is the second woman he wanted to meet our kids..so see my concern? Oh and since I work 5 days a week he gets them while I'm working. He works only on the weekends. So it's not like he can have them when he's doing 12 hr shifts.
Idk how many chicks he gets with..just keep it away from my kids. Well that and the excessive drinking. Those are the two main reasons I wanted him out in the first place.
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| 1/3/2015 2:45:16 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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op u know him best, so do what u feel is right for the kids, and it seem like he needs to get his self together
[Edited 1/3/2015 2:46:58 PM ]
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| 1/3/2015 5:11:40 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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my2sunshine
Pulaski, NY
51, joined Apr. 2013
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OP you are divorcing.
You are living seperate.
You have no right to be judging what the father does with the kids on HIS time.
You have no right to ask the father, the kids or anyone else what they are doing and who they are with.
It doesn't matter how many women the father is with or he introduces them to.
Going forward with what matters is how YOU handle yourself and what you teach your children.
Display and role model proper behaviors to your children.
Do not talk to them about their father or his behaviors.
If he has a drinking problem then give your children instructions on what to do when someone has been drinking and they want you to get in a car...call 911...give them a cheap cell phone.
Children are very well aware at a young age of who in their life is a positive and loving influence.
Don't take the wrong path....listen and don't speak ill of him!
For the children's sake...get yourself some counseling.
[Edited 1/3/2015 5:13:45 PM ]
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| 1/4/2015 8:34:42 AM |
How long would you wait? |
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freckleyez
Perrysburg, OH
36, joined Oct. 2014
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Wow!!! Op didn't say she was going to stop him, she asked a question on how long you should wait. She wanted opinions. I actually agree make sure it's a long term relationship before you bring the kids into it. Now granted there are no guarantees. And I'm sorry but I do believe op has every right to judge, be concerned, worry when it comes to her ex and their children!!! Just because her ex has the kids doesn't mean she stops being a mom. My actually had the audacity to tell me I should not be concerned or worry about our son when he is with him. That is the biggest bunch of shit I have ever heard. 
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| 1/4/2015 11:37:34 AM |
How long would you wait? |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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I agree freckle i wouldn't want my kids to be introduced to every woman he's involved with, just because it's his turn to take them he should be spending time with them not showing them to every woman he's d*cking
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| 1/4/2015 12:34:14 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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freckleyez
Perrysburg, OH
36, joined Oct. 2014
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It just amazes me that people even think like this. And that the OP is getting chastised for being concerned and for asking questions. I for one had a big problem that my ex moved in with his girlfriend after he asked for the divorce. And I made a big stink about it too. I mean why would I want my child to be around a woman that started a relationship with a married man?!?!? Especially when she has no morals, no qualms about calling me a b*tch in front of my son. And for the record I was not jealous of them. I don't want that piece of shit back if he was the last man left. I just did not want my son around her. So good for you OP for asking questions, they are your children, and while he is their father it is completely ok to question whether or not he is making the right decision and vise versa
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| 1/4/2015 1:42:08 PM |
How long would you wait? |
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catti_brie
Springdale, AR
43, joined Jul. 2013
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Thank you ladies. It seems more people think the way I do than the other responder.. it just makes me wonder wether they even care of their kids emotional well-being. That is all i care about. There are reasons why he's out and I don't want him back. For me it should be about the kids. It's hard enough mom & dad arn't together anymore.why complicate it further?
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| 1/5/2015 10:24:46 AM |
How long would you wait? |
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lavndrkiss
Norwalk, OH
37, joined Aug. 2013
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I don't introduce my son to random guys. Unless I know there going to stick around.
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| 1/5/2015 10:39:03 AM |
How long would you wait? |
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lavndrkiss
Norwalk, OH
37, joined Aug. 2013
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I don't introduce my son to random guys. Unless I know there going to stick around.
wait at least 6 months.
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