| 1/15/2015 5:23:54 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
|
what will you do if you finally find out that you have a relationship with a drug addict or an alcoholic ?
are you going to break from your relationship..or you are going to continue your relationship ?
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 1/15/2015 5:31:22 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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amicablyme
Wheeler, IN
57, joined Oct. 2014
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Whatever day the garbage trucks picks up the special bulky trash, I'll arrange for his ride. Don't want excess waste laying around.
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| 1/15/2015 5:31:48 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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txrose64
Pearland, TX
50, joined Jan. 2013
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yeah that's a no go, and something I made sure I verified right up front when I was dating and then made sure. I did date one and two or more that we were in the phone talking part of the process that were functional alcoholics (the one I did go out with the beer was always there in whatever we were doing, two dates) so good bye. 
now if you're already there "in a relationship" as you said...then I'd have to examine "dang it, I thought I had those codependency issues dealt with a decade and a half ago"  
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| 1/15/2015 5:36:27 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
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i guess its really hard ,,,when your heart is at stake ,,,and with your status as well ....but in some cases they go on with the relationship and i really wonder what will happen and how long will last that relationship ....
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| 1/15/2015 5:36:55 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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tip don't mess with rehabbers either uness they been off the drugs for at least 3 years
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| 1/15/2015 5:37:01 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
|
Whatever day the garbage trucks picks up the special bulky trash, I'll arrange for his ride. Don't want excess waste laying around.
what if you really love the guy
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| 1/15/2015 5:37:39 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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badasscouple33
Douglas, AZ
34, joined Aug. 2014
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I'm really cautious when it comes to people I date or bring around my family and friends. I can usually spot the warning signs before it gets that far. An addict will always be an addict even if they been sober for 20 plus years. I let people know up front I hate drugs and will not Allow it in my life at all.
Unfortunately love isn't always enough for people. Love doesn't matter when it comes to addicts.
Only thing they love is their addiction at the time
[Edited 1/15/2015 5:40:45 AM ]
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| 1/15/2015 5:37:39 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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amicablyme
Wheeler, IN
57, joined Oct. 2014
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It's not a fun ride, taking backseat to someone's dependacies. You'll never be first.
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| 1/15/2015 5:40:18 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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want be first and will get hurt
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| 1/15/2015 5:41:10 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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micheleisgreat
Pittsburgh, PA
51, joined Nov. 2013
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what if you really love the guy
You need to love yourself first
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| 1/15/2015 5:42:08 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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txrose64
Pearland, TX
50, joined Jan. 2013
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Not long...you're not their priority..getting their drug of choice is.
Shane, you're more understanding that I was...the nearer ten years in recovery (and that's starting at day one if there were any relapses and preferably there were not)
Sweetie's been in recovery almost ten years this September, and that's honestly was preferable to me than someone that's headed for needing recovery.
good subject ...it's HUGE out there..so many are chemically impaired that are out there trying to date, or get their next victim is more like it.
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| 1/15/2015 5:42:12 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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amicablyme
Wheeler, IN
57, joined Oct. 2014
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what if you really love the guy
My very first bf had this problem. I thought it was love. What does one know at age 15. By the time I was 25, I knew it wasn't love. I just felt sorry for him. You can't help someone like that. They are the only one with that power. I was an enabler. I allowed him to be a comfortable addict. Life lesson learned the hard way.
[Edited 1/15/2015 5:42:55 AM ]
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| 1/15/2015 5:45:52 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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ol39er
Cicero, IL
42, joined Jul. 2011
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Both are DEFINITE dealbreakers. End of story.
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| 1/15/2015 5:46:48 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
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You need to love yourself first
what if you really dont know and just find out recently ....are you going to give up ,,,even you have a happy and beautiful relationship ?
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| 1/15/2015 5:47:17 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
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Both are DEFINITE dealbreakers. End of story.
do you mean no more chance?
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| 1/15/2015 5:48:19 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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You need to love yourself first
couldn't agree more
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| 1/15/2015 5:49:10 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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I guess at one time I didn't love myself enough so guess ive been there.
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| 1/15/2015 5:55:04 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
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I guess at one time I didn't love myself enough so guess ive been there.
do you mean you have a relationship with an alcoholic or a drug dependent ...before?
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| 1/15/2015 5:56:07 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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txrose64
Pearland, TX
50, joined Jan. 2013
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what if you really dont know and just find out recently ....are you going to give up ,,,even you have a happy and beautiful relationship ?
it's not a happy beautiful relationship though..you're not an addict's priority their drug (and that's alcohol too) is. That's a rose colored look on the relationship imo.
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| 1/15/2015 5:56:29 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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aladytoo
Monroe, WI
58, joined Apr. 2006
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what will you do if you finally find out that you have a relationship with a drug addict or an alcoholic ?
are you going to break from your relationship..or you are going to continue your relationship ?
You finally find out?? What the heck, sounds like a e/mail drama relationship.
Hate to tell you OP you didn't get to know the person,and now you define it as relationship.
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| 1/15/2015 5:56:31 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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badasscouple33
Douglas, AZ
34, joined Aug. 2014
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what if you really dont know and just find out recently ....are you going to give up ,,,even you have a happy and beautiful relationship ?
You can't help him, as much as you want to you can't. Best way for you to help is to step away from the relationship and let him hit rock bottom. Do be an enabler, no money, no calls, no roof over his head. He's gotta start from the bottom of he is gonna beat this.
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| 1/15/2015 5:57:10 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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do you mean you have a relationship with an alcoholic or a drug dependent ...before?
I did last april.
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| 1/15/2015 5:58:26 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
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but rose my friend and his bf were in love with each other ,,,and problem is she was asking me what to do ,,,,with his bf who is a drug dependent ....and i dont have any idea what to say to her ,,,,,
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| 1/15/2015 5:59:30 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
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I did last april.
oh so what did you do when you found out?
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| 1/15/2015 6:01:21 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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a tip in all seriousness which im hardly ever serious .a lot of times some one who was addicted to drugs,if they get off of them they will use another crutch or addiction.if they are with some one they will use them as there addiction.problem is they will lie to keep u and if some one else enters the picture they will lie to keep u in the picture.then when u end it they will lie about the whole thing to others.believe me ive been threw all that.
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| 1/15/2015 6:04:25 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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getting off the addiction takes little time to do in comparison to the damaged they have caused themselves inside mentally.usually that takes years to heal from.asmire people who get off drugs,but don't be more than a friend.
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| 1/15/2015 6:04:54 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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txrose64
Pearland, TX
50, joined Jan. 2013
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but rose my friend and his bf were in love with each other ,,,and problem is she was asking me what to do ,,,,with his bf who is a drug dependent ....and i dont have any idea what to say to her ,,,,,
drugs?
not sure how long they were together or if she's willing(and more importantly HE has to want to quit using) to go through the long process of recovery with him and chances are he'd leave her if he did, because (know this) any relationship with a drug addict is NOT based on anything "healthy".
tell her to walk away.
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| 1/15/2015 6:12:39 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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artokol
Vaubecourt
France
48, joined Nov. 2014
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Learn who they are before you get involved and walk away when you know something is wrong.
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| 1/15/2015 6:12:55 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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she told me about her being in recovery.i was impressed with her getting off drugs.i decided to have a relationship with her thinking I wasn't gonno be a bad person for not giving her chance because of that.i learned a lot in that relationship.heres what I learned.u can admire that person for getting off the drugs but just be a friend.u are taking too big a risk with a person like that.sad but true.
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| 1/15/2015 6:23:57 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
online now!
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What sort of relationship friends FWB's what?
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| 1/15/2015 6:26:15 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
online now!
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from jester0011:she told me about her being in recovery.i was impressed with her getting off drugs.i decided to have a relationship with her thinking I wasn't gonno be a bad person for not giving her chance because of that.i learned a lot in that relationship.heres what I learned.u can admire that person for getting off the drugs but just be a friend.u are taking too big a risk with a person like that.sad but true."
Every thing is a risk bro no pain no gain you know that! Anyone can shit in you recovered drug addict or not.
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| 1/15/2015 6:26:56 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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king after my experience I wouldn't even do the fwb thing with a person like that.they still will have a dependency on u.just be a friend.
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| 1/15/2015 6:28:06 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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gotheon123
Apex, NC
47, joined Jul. 2013
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It's not as easy walking away when they got hooked on pain pills after a bad accident and after three years of history together, but there does come a point where you realize that it's ok to do just that.
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| 1/15/2015 6:29:17 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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look at the risk u take with anyone like u said.its hard enough out there,why stack the deck against yourself even more than it already is in our dating lives.its just too much to ask of yourself.
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| 1/15/2015 6:30:26 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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soflwill
West Palm Beach, FL
54, joined Jan. 2012
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there are a lot of problems with a person dependent on drugs or alcohol one of the biggest is that they almost have a split personality. After awhile it just becomes impossible to deal with the, so if/when I find out a person has this kind of problem it is a deal breaker. Been there, done that, didn't want the T-shirt.
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| 1/15/2015 6:30:57 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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my advice to people.if u know they were addicted they need to just say no and u do as well so far as dating them goes.
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| 1/15/2015 6:33:13 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
online now!
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Hmm so what you are saying jester is once an addict always an addict? Funny I got off hard drugs with very little help. I've also helped others. One you have to be able to identify an individual who really wants to. It's not hard. I see your point but I've also risen above it. If I care for somone I would give it a shot. Just don't be an inabler and don't let them take advantage if you. It does take some skills.
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| 1/15/2015 6:36:50 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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well king to be honest ask most recovered addicts they will tell u rehab coucilers tell them that they will always be addicts just no using which I don't buy into.but usually u find if a person even used drugs like meth ,crack knowing the cost and did it anyway what does that say about that persons mentality to start with in life even before they got addicted.
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| 1/15/2015 6:38:14 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
online now!
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Pretty sad I see allot of quiters but that's fine I'm not! As soon as you give up on some one worth saving or don't try you are like cutting the rope on a mountain climber! Sure there is a point. But every addict in recovery isn't a cookie cutter replica. Kinda sad society is ready to write people off that quick. Guess that's why former addicts need eachother we are the only ones that get it.
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| 1/15/2015 6:39:29 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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if a person gets off drugs for a awhile and goes back to using its not because they fell off some kinda wagon,its just a life style choice they are making.
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| 1/15/2015 6:43:06 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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its not just the addiction u have to worry about its the mind set after that person has.thats why I say the person needs at least 2 years off drugs before u should even think about getting involved with them.in my case I wouldn't unless they have been recovered for at least 3.
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| 1/15/2015 6:43:33 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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woniota
Jacksonville, FL
49, joined Jul. 2014
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Wife or family. There's a short leash though. Ain't got time left to be dilly dallying with that nonsense.
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| 1/15/2015 6:45:38 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
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Pretty sad I see allot of quiters but that's fine I'm not! As soon as you give up on some one worth saving or don't try you are like cutting the rope on a mountain climber! Sure there is a point. But every addict in recovery isn't a cookie cutter replica. Kinda sad society is ready to write people off that quick. Guess that's why former addicts need eachother we are the only ones that get it.
do you mean to say former addicts were not given a chance to the society to prove that they changed ? i mean does it mean it will be a forever blot on their personality ?
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| 1/15/2015 6:48:54 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
online now!
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It tells me they where enjoying it jester just like a sky diver rock climber shark diver parasail er motorcycle rider those are all risky aren't they? Who says drug use is more risky the gov? One don't believe every thing you read and half of what you see! I know a guy used heroine crack meth you name it for almost 20'years you would think his brains fried and he's almost dead. I work for the guy he's worth 5 million bucks! He runs marathons scuba dives body builds I shit you not ! He quit drugs ten years ago and never looked back. He came from a wealthy family burnt through 500 k in drugs and more lost everything. Almost died twice! He got clean on his own no fukin p*ssy rehab! Went to work for his uncles oil company kept investing his money busted his a** he's now a fukin millionaire. I would tell you his name but you wouldn't believe me if you met the guy he's 55 years old. See what I mean ?
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| 1/15/2015 6:49:42 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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do you mean to say former addicts were not given a chance to the society to prove that they changed ? i mean does it mean it will be a forever blot on their personality ?
in some cases yes in some not.take in account what some of the things they say .some say once an addict always one just not using.id say stay away from people who believe that about themselves.whether that statement may be true or not.if the person has been off for 3 years and believes if u go back to using no one should feel sorry for them,then u might have a good chance with that person.once again its not the addiction u deal with really in those types its the mind set
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| 1/15/2015 6:51:43 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
online now!
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do you mean to say former addicts were not given a chance to the society to prove that they changed ? i mean does it mean it will be a forever blot on their personality ?"
Of course not read the story I posted. Is an ex con an ex con the rest of their life if they don't want to be? What I'm saying is inevitably they have to help themselves but I believe in giving a hand up to anyone that is trying!
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| 1/15/2015 6:54:29 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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whalemstrsback
Corning, CA
57, joined Oct. 2014
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it's just as hard
being a functioning
idiot...
i
know...
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| 1/15/2015 6:55:13 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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I know some former addicts id def give a chance to in life.but they been off drugs for years.its really not the long time ago druggies we all have doine things not so good in life its the short term recovered one u need to understand .u just don't need to date them.they need a lot of time to change the mind set they had while using.theres a lot out there that a very good people.no one sets out to get addicted,remember that.but still doesn't change the fact they did.u need to handle that with kid gloves in your dating life.why go there.its hard enough in the dating world already.
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| 1/15/2015 6:56:19 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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nycman530
New York, NY
61, joined Dec. 2010
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what if you really love the guy
That's a two-way street. Does he love you enough to know it's hurting you and to try to get himself help? Also, how long have you been with him? Is his addiction affecting his everyday life and are his moods unpredictable? I would think the longer you've been together, the easier it would be to bring it out in the open.
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| 1/15/2015 6:57:15 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
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@ king ohh thats really sad 
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| 1/15/2015 7:00:42 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
online now!
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First alcoholism and hard drugs are not totally the same addictions and I'm not gonna write a book for you people unless you are buying. But needless to say it's a choice to a point with drugs. But once you dive in getting out becomes less of a choice because it's now a life style. So an addict has to change that lifestyle! I can still do a line of coke and not go all Richard Prior, but I have to avoid the people and life style that would suck me back in. It's not easy but it can be done ! An alcoholic on the other hand has to avoid alcohol because it's a totally chemical addiction not a choice! So drugs yes IMO are more of a choice at first then alcohol is which people are born into! Few people I know you used drugs did one line if coke and became an addict. It takes time that is a big lie that one toke off a joint and you will become a heroine junky! BS
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| 1/15/2015 7:02:48 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
online now!
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from nycman530:[]That's a two-way street. Does he love you enough to know it's hurting you and to try to get himself help? Also, how long have you been with him? Is his addiction affecting his everyday life and are his moods unpredictable? I would think the longer you've been together, the easier it would be to bring it out in the open"
Excellent points NYC 
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| 1/15/2015 7:04:09 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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geleen217
Manila
Philippines
54, joined Sep. 2014
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i just want to know what is the cause of drug addiction in general ? im really curious ...
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| 1/15/2015 7:21:19 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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amicablyme
Wheeler, IN
57, joined Oct. 2014
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i just want to know what is the cause of drug addiction in general ? im really curious ...
Chemical imbalance in the pleasure seeking part of brain. It will always want something.
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| 1/15/2015 7:27:37 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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chambella
New South Wales
Australia
94, joined Jun. 2014
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what will you do if you finally find out that you have a relationship with a drug addict or an alcoholic ?
are you going to break from your relationship..or you are going to continue your relationship ?
I know how to say "good bye"
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| 1/15/2015 7:30:06 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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well some drugs like alcohol isn't always going to addict a person.just some do and some don't.reserch doctors say the reason for chemical addiction is the release of endorfons in the brain.the endorfons kick in after so long without the drugs inside the body.so u can see how hard it can be to get off the drugs.i have some sympathy for what they must go threw.but and big but here.there are some drugs in our modern day world like crack coke,meth and a lot of others we know are highly addictive yet we chose to do them anyway no matter what.so what does that say about a person with that mind set in life.how ever if they choose to get off the drugs its something we all can admire.but again.it takes time for them to get a better over all way of thinking in life.its not just the addiction its the way a person thinks in life that's the bigger issue.thats why I say unless its been over three year off I don't go there.sorry we all make choices in life good and bad I know I have,but I except the price I pay for past choices ive mad and understand how others might feel about it.
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| 1/15/2015 7:33:14 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
online now!
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When I read the thread header I thought this was gonna be a recovery joke thread so :
How can you pick out the tweaker in the grocery store?
He is the one with his cart flipped upside down fixing the wheels!
This ones good!
These three guys die in a car wreck and they all go to Hell. When they arrive the Devil asks each of the men what their sin was.
The first guy says, "It's gotta be the booze. I'm always drunk."
The Devil decides to lock him in a room with nothing but shelves of every kind of alcohol imaginable.
The guy's thinking, "F**k yeah! Look at all this alcohol!" and runs into the room.
The second guy says, "It's the women, I could never stay faithful to my wife."
The devil opens up the second door and inside is nothing but the finest looking naked women as far as the eye can see. The guy was to be locked in for 100 years. He couldn't believe it and his d*ck got instantly hard and he went running into the room as the Devil locked the door behind him.
The third dude says, "It's gotta be the bud. I'm always tokin' up."
The Devil opens the third door to reveal nothing but fields of 10ft tall icky, sticky, take-a-toke, make-ya-choke, chronic, green, death bud. The stoner can't believe it. He goes in and takes a seat Indian style with his back to the door and the Devil shuts and locks the door.
One hundred years pass and the Devil returns to check on the three men.
He opens the first door and the man comes crawling out. He's got an empty bottle in one hand, he's completely naked, hasn't shaved or showered in years, and is covered in his own puke, shit, and piss. "I'll never drink again!" he says. The devil says it's good he learned something and decides to give him a second shot at life.
The devil then opens the second door and the man comes running out twice as fast as when he went in. "I'm f**king gay!" he screams. The devil figures he's learned not to cheat on his wife and decides to give him a second chance too.
The devil then comes to the third door. He opens it and sees nothing has changed. The stoner is still sitting there in the same position that he was 100 years ago.
The Devil asks him if he's learned anything.
The stoner turns around as a tear rolls down his cheek, "Dude ... you got a light?"
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| 1/15/2015 7:36:23 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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candmann73
Petersburg, VA
41, joined Apr. 2014
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Deal breaker for me. 
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| 1/15/2015 7:36:46 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
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| 1/15/2015 7:36:50 AM |
A drug dependent and an alcoholic |
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kawkasian
Houston, TX
47, joined Sep. 2014
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I'd have to install a lock on my kegorator.
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