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1/15/2015 11:29:53 AM Reconciliation attempts?  

ileperrot31
Lehigh Acres, FL
34, joined Apr. 2014


Has anyone gone through a reconciliation attempt? I will tell you in a few lines my story and please advise your thoughts based on your experiences.

We got married 6 years ago and had a baby three years ago. In 2013, my business started going south and I was obviously frustrated. After the business failed, I got a regular 9-5 job, but I was not the same any more. So, in March 2014 she did find someone else and July, 2014, when I found out about it,she dumped me taking the kid with her. I tried to stop her, but she called the Police and claimed that I abused them, so I ended up spending 3 nights in prison until I got arraigned and released on bail. This will not even go to trial as per my lawyer and in a few months (once settled), I will really have a shot at full custody. She sent me a few email, texts, and even a letter apologizing for this and claiming that the cops fabricated those accusations and twisted her words.

Meanwhile, her other relationship turned out to be a bust. I had our son over the holidays, as she was probably still trying to make that other relationship work, but on Dec 26th she drove 240 miles to come and see us. She made it clear that she was there for our son (not for me), but when she left, she hugged me tight and kissed me, in a friendly manner. We had a few general discussions and it seemed like her self-esteem has depreciated a lot.

Knowing her and everything, I know that the moment she gets that self esteem back up, she will look down to me, if we were to get back together.... that's my logic. At the same time, I hope that whenever she would get it up, she would use it to the family stronger .... that's my heart.

If we wouldn't have had a child, I wouldn't even consider getting back together. At the same time, I am family man and I do believe that families forgive and forget. So, I really have a dilemma on my hands, don't I?

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1/15/2015 7:50:47 PM Reconciliation attempts?  
ms_holland
Over 2,000 Posts (2,651)
Danville, AL
53, joined Mar. 2014


Op, I would do a lot of praying on this. Whatever you decide will be a life altering decision not just for you but also for your child.

1/16/2015 7:34:38 PM Reconciliation attempts?  
mboots31
Albion, NE
35, joined Jun. 2014


Sounds like she has an idea of what you are about to do. She will attempt anything to stop you.
Another thought is was she there for you when you were down?
If you do fall for her tricks never remarry her. If you can't get past the fact that she cheated on you and left you then don't. You will only be doing this for the benefit of your child and her. Yes your child deserves to live a life with both parents together it is not the child's fault.
I would get custody of the child before any arrangement to be with her. Her true colors will come out.
Just remember your heart doesn't want to be alone but your gut knows the true answers.
I puked almost everyday for at least 3 months during my divorce losing about 50lbs. I didn't feel better till she finally moved out.

1/17/2015 11:30:15 AM Reconciliation attempts?  
romantikind13
San Antonio, TX
47, joined Dec. 2014


Never , would I want her back no longer my problem Is what I would say to myself
Only my child would matter to me .

To many so called women play these games

1/17/2015 3:14:00 PM Reconciliation attempts?  
jmgarc
Stockton, CA
45, joined Aug. 2014


I went through the exact same your going through we got back together after being apart for 4 years every time I would pick up my daughter she would ask me to take her back she made a mistake
Cant stop thinking about me misses me wantss our family back.so I gave in this was in 2009 last year in may I found out she was seeing another man be hind my back again a 65 year old Dr. I left her sold our house and everything that tied us together.my point they willdo it again. This one hurt my daughter more than the first time move on man its not worth once a cheater always a cheater .but this time my daughter is older I seen it for herself shes with me by her choice and adores me

1/19/2015 1:39:31 PM Reconciliation attempts?  
oppsiidazi
Over 1,000 Posts (1,051)
Orr, MN
47, joined Oct. 2014


Reconciliation is, also, one of the stages of a Divorce.

1/20/2015 7:04:57 PM Reconciliation attempts?  

sureshot40
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,753)
Drumright, OK
48, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from ileperrot31:
So, in March 2014 she did find someone else and July, 2014, when I found out about it,she dumped me taking the kid with her.



And you joined this dating site in April 2014, before knowing about her infidelity. Sounds like your perfect for each other.

1/21/2015 1:34:23 AM Reconciliation attempts?  

pickygirl72
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,556)
Pinon Hills, CA
46, joined Sep. 2011


People think the grass is always greener on the other side. But it never is. Unfortunately she may wonder back because she is lonely and probably will realize life is tough. OP I can not tell you what to do that's something you need to figure out on your own.

1/27/2015 6:07:59 PM Reconciliation attempts?  

mr_bdm
Weirton, WV
51, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from pickygirl72:
People think the grass is always greener on the other side. But it never is. Unfortunately she may wonder back because she is lonely and probably will realize life is tough. OP I can not tell you what to do that's something you need to figure out on your own.
.may not be greener in some ways but theres always $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ upgrade!

1/29/2015 11:24:39 AM Reconciliation attempts?  

mr_bdm
Weirton, WV
51, joined Jul. 2014


my buddy calls marriage.PRE DIVORCE!

3/19/2015 11:45:09 AM Reconciliation attempts?  

mary_e0612
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (23,521)
Kalamazoo, MI
59, joined Nov. 2014


Quote from sureshot40:
And you joined this dating site in April 2014, before knowing about her infidelity. Sounds like your perfect for each other.


Ditto!

3/19/2015 2:17:09 PM Reconciliation attempts?  
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (252,261)
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010


Prior to a legal separation ... Okay

After the split ... Not such a good remedy.

3/20/2015 6:38:23 PM Reconciliation attempts?  

pickygirl72
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,556)
Pinon Hills, CA
46, joined Sep. 2011


No.