| 2/5/2015 4:07:16 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
ol39er
Cicero, IL
42, joined Jul. 2011
|
On OkCupid, one of the many questions asked of users in their surveys is if jealousy is ever healthy in a relationship. What are your thoughts about jealousy in a relationship? Is it ever healthy or beneficial? Is it harmful? Please feel free to share examples or experiences.
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
|
| 2/5/2015 4:10:23 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
hisbaby4ever13
Ramseur, NC
32, joined Jul. 2014
|
Maybe...
It may show the other person that they're cared about or whatnot.
I've always felt it's not though.
|
| 2/5/2015 4:17:18 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
patriottype
Lubbock, TX
44, joined Jul. 2013
|
Jealousy is normal acting stupid is not productive.
|
| 2/5/2015 4:20:29 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
|
I think that jealousy reflects insecurity or mistrust or both--neither is healthy
|
| 2/5/2015 4:26:34 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
patriottype
Lubbock, TX
44, joined Jul. 2013
|
If you look at other animals you can see possessive behavior....hell the higher primates are possessive of their mate's........Jealousy breeding rights play a part in some pack animals social structure and is normal behavior.....WE ARE STILL ANIMALS.
|
| 2/5/2015 4:27:03 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
okfinewhateva
Antioch, TN
48, joined Jun. 2011
online now!
|
I was in a marriage where she was very insecure and jealous . It killed a 12 year marriage because of it . These days , I will never marry again and any sign of controlling or jealousy means I WILL dump her . Zero tolerance for that crap.
|
| 2/5/2015 4:27:49 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
idliketotalk
Punxsutawney, PA
52, joined Oct. 2013
|
Perhaps in small doses it's ok but only in small doses.
In can be an eye opener for sure.
|
| 2/5/2015 4:28:05 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
wnts2byrs
Conway, AR
42, joined Oct. 2014
|
"Jealousy in relationships is actually quite normal. A little jealousy is one way of showing how much we love our significant other. On the other hand, however, too much jealousy signifies a lack of trust in our partner and may break a happy union."
~ Author Unknown
|
| 2/5/2015 4:28:27 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
patriottype
Lubbock, TX
44, joined Jul. 2013
|
If all the females in the wolf pack bred and not just the alpha female it would be a bad thing.....for the pack.
|
| 2/5/2015 4:32:36 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
patriottype
Lubbock, TX
44, joined Jul. 2013
|
I have been with extremely jealous women maybe it wasn't so bad because I am a dominate man.
|
| 2/5/2015 4:34:17 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
lookin4him2012
Boone, NC
46, joined Jan. 2012
|
Good jealousy: dating someone who you are both madly in love with one another and at times, like once in a blue moon, someone will flirt with one of you in the other's presence and you go back home and have mad passionate sex because of it turned you on to see someone else want your gal/guy - then it's okay and can draw a couple even closer and can be fun.
Bad jealousy: when you date a girl who gets on you all the time (like daily) because they think you think every girl you see in magazines, on t.v., out in public are all better looking than her then you need to run fast! You don't need that kind of jealousy in your life. It's not good.
|
| 2/5/2015 4:43:05 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
|
Good jealousy: dating someone who you are both madly in love with one another and at times, like once in a blue moon, someone will flirt with one of you in the other's presence and you go back home and have mad passionate sex because of it turned you on to see someone else want your gal/guy - then it's okay and can draw a couple even closer and can be fun.
How is that jealousy at all?
|
| 2/5/2015 4:46:37 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
patriottype
Lubbock, TX
44, joined Jul. 2013
|
Jealous women give their man sex whenever he wants it. So you take the good with the bad. 
|
| 2/5/2015 4:57:00 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
ibane
Zanesville, OH
43, joined Feb. 2014
|
Its a fantastic idea....if she wants me to dump her.
Would be easier for both of us if she just dumped me.
No. The answer is no.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:04:48 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
CuseGuyJ
Syracuse, NY
44, joined Nov. 2014
|
I've never really been the jealous type.
I did get jealous once, about ten years ago.
Was at beach with my smoking hot amply breasted girlfriend.
A guy was hitting on her right in front of me (they were about ten feet away).
We had a discussion about respect in public after that.
But usually I don't get jealous.
If she's gonna leave, she's gonna leave. You can't make her stay, and getting all worked up over something you truly can't control is stupid in my opinion.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:06:56 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
ol39er
Cicero, IL
42, joined Jul. 2011
|
My definition of jealousy is an unreasonable or unfounded fear of one's significant other cheating. That is unhealthy. Now if that significant other behaved in a way that looked legitimately suspicious, that, in my opinion is not jealousy. That is being concerned and is normal and justified.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:08:24 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
plantkeeper
Alexandria, VA
51, joined Apr. 2011
|
It's healthy in moderation..
|
| 2/5/2015 5:08:36 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
txrose64
Pearland, TX
50, joined Jan. 2013
|
a wasted emotion.
lay all your love on me baby, don't waste it on misplaced jealousy, yah know?
I don't think it's healthy no.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:09:51 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
jester0011
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014
|
this is a great thread.u know a lot in here are jealouse over me.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:17:10 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
56, joined May. 2009
|
I don't think it's healthy at all.
But, I have to say that once, my date and I were at a bar. I went in first because he was parking the car. A man stopped to talk to me and flirt and my bf walked in at that point and put his hand on my the small of my back and led me away. I have to admit it gave me a bit of a thrill that he showed "possession" like that. (Any more, and I'd have been quite upset, though.) I guess I'm saying that he didn't say anything to the guy, didn't start anything, and didn't even think another thing about it again, so it wasn't really a display of jealousy, it was just letting the guy know I was taken.
I have done the same thing with my bf. The subtle resting of my hand on his shoulder. Moving closer in to him. It's not jealousy, I'm just using body language to let another woman know he's not available.
The thing is, though, that if he wants to be available, nothing I do will prevent that.
I like the connectedness it portrays, so if you call that jealousy--good jealousy--then so be it. It feels good to me that he publicly displays his intent towards me, that he claims me, so to speak. But doing anything more than that? Would send me running because it throws up all sorts of red flags.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:21:30 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
ibane
Zanesville, OH
43, joined Feb. 2014
|
I don't think it's healthy at all.
But, I have to say that once, my date and I were at a bar. I went in first because he was parking the car. A man stopped to talk to me and flirt and my bf walked in at that point and put his hand on my the small of my back and led me away. I have to admit it gave me a bit of a thrill that he showed "possession" like that. (Any more, and I'd have been quite upset, though.) I guess I'm saying that he didn't say anything to the guy, didn't start anything, and didn't even think another thing about it again, so it wasn't really a display of jealousy, it was just letting the guy know I was taken.
I have done the same thing with my bf. The subtle resting of my hand on his shoulder. Moving closer in to him. It's not jealousy, I'm just using body language to let another woman know he's not available.
The thing is, though, that if he wants to be available, nothing I do will prevent that.
I like the connectedness it portrays, so if you call that jealousy--good jealousy--then so be it. It feels good to me that he publicly displays his intent towards me, that he claims me, so to speak. But doing anything more than that? Would send me running because it throws up all sorts of red flags.
 .....that's called being a couple.
Some may call it healthy jealousy. ..I would call it "This is how it's spose to be " 
|
| 2/5/2015 5:24:30 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
I think in small doses it's healthy....it becomes unhealthy when it turns into an obsession...also it can be unhealthy in the way it's expressed....
Healthy = discussing it with your partner
unhealthy = punching every woman out who looks at your partner...
|
| 2/5/2015 5:25:12 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
txrose64
Pearland, TX
50, joined Jan. 2013
|
Lake that's just your "his" my guy does that too..it's if he was mad at YOU that ..that guy came over to you and withheld love/affection or y'all had a fight over it because of his insecurity (jealousy) that's different. That's the good stuff
|
| 2/5/2015 5:27:59 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
esmeraldar
Toms River, NJ
66, joined Jan. 2009
|
Wayne Dyer said that jealousy is a useless emotion and I tend to agree with him.
That said, I think experiencing a little jealousy now and then is a normal human reaction. But if you truly trust your partner you will not let jealousy consume you.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:43:01 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
keyboardkat
Oklahoma City, OK
40, joined Feb. 2011
|
Wayne Dyer said that jealousy is a useless emotion and I tend to agree with him.
That said, I think experiencing a little jealousy now and then is a normal human reaction. But if you truly trust your partner you will not let jealousy consume you.
Don't listen to that three marriage having loser.He was trying to get some on the side,his wife found out and dumped him.
That's why he says jealousy is a useless emotion.She got jealous. Not the fact he was sneaking around,or trying to.
I like how lake said it.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:48:59 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
patriottype
Lubbock, TX
44, joined Jul. 2013
|
A woman I didn't notice was looking at me and walking toward me and a woman I used to date.....before she could open her mouth the girl I was with told her Don't look at my man I will beat your ass!!!.......I was surprised and speechless.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:50:41 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
patriottype
Lubbock, TX
44, joined Jul. 2013
|
Whats funny is how jealousy effects smart people as well as dumb.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:51:44 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
ladiebugg55
Redding, CA
79, joined Jun. 2012
|
On OkCupid, one of the many questions asked of users in their surveys is if jealousy is ever healthy in a relationship. What are your thoughts about jealousy in a relationship? Is it ever healthy or beneficial? Is it harmful? Please feel free to share examples or experiences.
No!..I detest jealousy..it's an ugly emotion that shows insecurity..I won't tolerate it in my life at all..
|
| 2/5/2015 5:52:14 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
esmeraldar
Toms River, NJ
66, joined Jan. 2009
|
Don't listen to that three marriage having loser.He was trying to get some on the side,his wife found out and dumped him.
That's why he says jealousy is a useless emotion.She got jealous. Not the fact he was sneaking around,or trying to.
I like how lake said it.
Despite the troubles that the man might have had with his personal life some of the things he said make a lot of sense. I think that all but the most secure of us have felt jealousy from time to time. I know that men are going to look at and maybe flirt with other women. And women will do the same with other men. But constantly worrying that your partner is going to cheat with no good reason is bound to ruin your relationship.
|
| 2/5/2015 5:54:09 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
kingslayer99
Arlington, TN
50, joined Oct. 2014
|
from patriottype:]If you look at other animals you can see possessive behavior....hell the higher primates are possessive of their mate's........Jealousy breeding rights play a part in some pack animals social structure and is normal behavior.....WE ARE STILL ANIMALS. "
I agree it's normal to a point!
|
| 2/5/2015 5:56:38 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
browneyz
San Diego, CA
58, joined Jan. 2008
|
I feel the emotion, but don't act on it. I act cool. Not sure if that is healthy.
|
| 2/5/2015 6:08:06 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
miscbyproduct
Isle Of Man
United Kingdom
18, joined Apr. 2012
|
But constantly worrying that your partner is going to cheat with no good reason is bound to ruin your relationship.
whether good reason or not
got to worry like that
time to part way cause ATLEAST 1 OF THEM is f'd up
|
| 2/5/2015 6:22:15 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
stanleyzee
Dayton, OH
30, joined Dec. 2012
online now!
|
|
| 2/5/2015 6:32:26 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
chris_90352
Sykesville, MD
41, joined Sep. 2010
|
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy?
YES.
Not only is jealousy healthy, it is vital to survival.
If jealousy weren't a vital tool for survival, it wouldn't be the highly-tuned instinct programmed into virtually every healthy carnivorous or omnivorous mammal to have ever lived over the last few million years.
It's not just a human instinct: dogs get jealous, cats get jealous, a variety of mammals get jealous.
In times when resources are scarce, the instinct of jealousy has sparked the aggressive competition required to obtain what is required for survival and flourish long enough to pass the vital skill of using jealousy to your best advantage on to your offspring.
All those who lacked the jealousy needed for survival have been bred out of our population long before we ever even became recognizably human, and thus the road toward humanity is littered with the corpses of generous proto-humans who have neglected themselves and their children to death while the things they needed to survive were within arm's-reach in the hands of competitors who might have been even less fit to survive, except they chanced upon those resources first, or better yet saw them, coveted them, and stole them from even less fit competitors.
Jealousy! It is a gift from God!
Along, of course, with the distinctly human capacity for the insight of recognizing jealousy, and being able to suppress it when a glance at the bigger picture reveals those circumstances when jealousy would serve only to harm us when more useful alternatives are at our disposal.
[Edited 2/5/2015 6:33:24 PM ]
|
| 2/5/2015 6:36:38 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
renee398
Chilhowie, VA
36, joined Jan. 2015
|
A little jealousy is. Normal but to much is unhealthy. It ruins lives and can make you become someone crazy and off their rocker.
|
| 2/5/2015 7:21:10 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
fishnthec
Mesquite, TX
63, joined Oct. 2010
|
I think it is possible to envy people without being jealous of them.
I'd rather her be a bit jealous that not at all!
If I ever become jealous, I'll just say, "I'm Jealous" in a humorous way of course.
|
| 2/5/2015 7:27:18 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
ibane
Zanesville, OH
43, joined Feb. 2014
|
Its enough to ruin a relationship.
If ur doin it...u know its not healthy. ...u say it to urself cuz u say it to them too.."I'm sorry , im jealous ..I know I shouldn't be...but I am".
Then stop dammit
|
| 2/5/2015 7:30:40 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
I think it is possible to envy people without being jealous of them.
I'd rather her be a bit jealous that not at all!
If I ever become jealous, I'll just say, "I'm Jealous" in a humorous way of course.
I think that's probably the best way to handle it...if you can both laugh about it...that's good...im gonna take a page from your book and do the same...should i feel that way again...
|
| 2/5/2015 8:34:51 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
naturebiy
Mc Kenzie, TN
39, joined Jul. 2011
|
What is worse than having a jealous feeling?
Feeling that there will be a repercussion for expressing that feeling to your mate in a healthy manner, and what you say being over analyzed...and harsh criticism being cast on you.
This is all primed to condition people to fear expressing feeling or emotions..
People allow stuff to build on the inside, and it creates a boiling point.
|
| 2/5/2015 8:49:19 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
luxorus
Seneca Castle, NY
36, joined Apr. 2014
|
Never, except maybe in HS
|
| 2/5/2015 8:51:01 PM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
What is worse than having a jealous feeling?
Feeling that there will be a repercussion for expressing that feeling to your mate in a healthy manner, and what you say being over analyzed...and harsh criticism being cast on you.
This is all primed to condition people to fear expressing feeling or emotions..
People allow stuff to build on the inside, and it creates a boiling point.[/quote
Exactly...it should always be safe to express your feelings to each other...
|
| 2/6/2015 12:13:23 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
|
Sorry...
I don't do.it..
Don't allow it....and won't deal with it....
Gateway emotion ....leads to.some ugly mess...
|
| 2/6/2015 12:14:32 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
jackscamaro
New York, NY
46, joined Mar. 2014
|
Jealousy is pathetic. 
|
| 2/6/2015 12:15:33 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
I'm jealous of those fancy sunglasses.... 
|
| 2/6/2015 12:17:36 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
acdmv
Scarsdale, NY
47, joined Aug. 2014
|
Nope....Never...
One's jealousy of another in a relationship ends up in the jealous one trying to hold the other person down...or even set him/her back in life...
In many ways, bring the other down to his/her level..
|
| 2/6/2015 12:20:01 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
tasty_taters2
Springfield, IL
36, joined Jan. 2015
|
I have to agree with CHRIS
it's NORMAL, and instinctive ....but too much is definitely a bad thing....
if people didn't get a little bit jealous it would show that they didn't really have feeling for you
|
| 2/6/2015 12:24:12 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
miscbyproduct
Isle Of Man
United Kingdom
18, joined Apr. 2012
|
or just ain't going to go through it
|
| 2/6/2015 12:25:06 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
Mis...im jealous that you're only 18....
|
| 2/6/2015 12:26:25 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
luxorus
Seneca Castle, NY
36, joined Apr. 2014
|
Ya, you're worth some alpacas instead of sheep 
|
| 2/6/2015 12:27:06 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
Im not sure if i wanna know what an alpaca is....
|
| 2/6/2015 12:27:54 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
miscbyproduct
Isle Of Man
United Kingdom
18, joined Apr. 2012
|
i am fairly sure i could be btibed to tell me secret
though i don't have a clue what/how much it'd cost ya
[Edited 2/6/2015 12:29:06 AM ]
|
| 2/6/2015 12:28:18 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
miscbyproduct
Isle Of Man
United Kingdom
18, joined Apr. 2012
|
flirty
kinda like a llama
|
| 2/6/2015 12:29:33 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
Ok...wellllll you just do up the bill...i think there's some sheep left over...now spill....
My dad just happens to have a herd of those too..it's your lucky day....
[Edited 2/6/2015 12:30:28 AM ]
|
| 2/6/2015 12:35:10 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
|
I have to agree with CHRIS
it's NORMAL, and instinctive ....but too much is definitely a bad thing....
if people didn't get a little bit jealous it would show that they didn't really have feeling for you
|
| 2/6/2015 12:36:06 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
miscbyproduct
Isle Of Man
United Kingdom
18, joined Apr. 2012
|
nahhhhh
sheep stink to much
chatting
|
| 2/6/2015 12:38:25 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
miscbyproduct
Isle Of Man
United Kingdom
18, joined Apr. 2012
|
i got to many scars over women being to nice to tell some guy to get lost
i'll get jealous,
but i'll jes tell I'm leaving.
she can ride or not
|
| 2/6/2015 12:44:51 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
|
Srry...damn phone.
How is being secure in our love...in your.love for me...so.much so....that.jealousy has no.room in.it.....mean I don't feel for you ?
If I even feel a twinge of that sht...I.know something is wrong in Whoville...
Only insecurity breeds jealousy,...
And why wld I be or want a man that likes for.me to be a "little" jealous ?
|
| 2/6/2015 12:46:47 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
Does she get to ride on the llama mis?...
|
| 2/6/2015 12:52:02 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
miscbyproduct
Isle Of Man
United Kingdom
18, joined Apr. 2012
|
could easily be her only choice
ppl get hurt and sometimes killed over that shit
i ain't gonna play
[Edited 2/6/2015 12:52:47 AM ]
|
| 2/6/2015 12:54:10 AM |
Is Jealousy Ever Healthy? |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
Welllll the best way to handle that is to say.."Hunny are ya ready to go?"...then say you were a bit jealous...have a laugh over it and it's done...then take off on the llama...
|