| 2/13/2015 8:24:09 AM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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Do you know a guy who said to you """Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games"""? Has he told you why he think it happens? Have you told him -directly- your opinion/s on the issue? What was his reaction?
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| 2/13/2015 5:57:36 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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I tell them, don't all nice guys end up alone, some say they have been hurt
and don't understand why some women's play or lead them on, I tell them some not commitment material and u should take your time when dating and getting to know a person
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| 2/13/2015 8:51:32 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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Recently, somebody said to me "" Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games""...and asked if something was wrong with him.
Well, he put me in a difficult situation since he really is a nice guy and I didn't want to hurt his feelings...but he insisted.
I told him that in my opinion his lack of grooming (dirty clothes...) and his ill fitted dentures (he spits when he talks) didn't do a lot for picking up ladies. He wasn't very happy with my answer but he asked for my honest opinion.
He has more issues.
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| 2/14/2015 9:45:50 AM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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....and for all the guys in Man Land who complain about overweight ladies....let me tell you that the guy I mention ALSO wants a slim lady....but he is oblivious to the fact he is obese...about 120 lbs. over the normal
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| 2/14/2015 9:55:29 AM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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Yeah that would have been a turn off for me to, even tho he was nice and yup nothing wrong with being honest cause he did ask u
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| 2/14/2015 9:58:04 AM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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....and for all the guys in Man Land who complain about overweight ladies....let me tell you that the guy I mention ALSO wants a slim lady....but he is oblivious to the fact he is obese...about 120 lbs. over the normal
Oh wow, and tryna be picky
men kills me when they say that
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| 2/14/2015 3:25:24 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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Anybody else?
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| 2/15/2015 8:39:27 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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From a male friend who read this thread's OP.
Hi. Hope life is treating you well. I read your topic in Women's World and had a few thoughts that I'd bounce off of you.
I feel as people age we loose trust in the opposite sex. We all have negative experiences and attempt to grow out of them but (again my opinion) a small amount of hurt and mistrust remains in the recesses of out mind/heart. Those small memories that are difficult to let go and forgive.
Yes we develop wisdom but some memories or images never really disappear. When I was a teenager I remember divorced men and women (my parents age). As they aged their distrust of the opposite sex just seemed to solidify. I know this sounds ultra negative but as I look at my generation of divorced individuals I see the same traits and those in their 60's are less trusting than those in their 40's. Just like my parents generation of divorcee's.
I don't mean to imply it's impossible to over come. Ultimately it's up to the individual. However, when I hear men and women my age talk they're just as untrusting as those of my parents generation (at least to what I remember back in the dinosaur age).
An individual can forgive and be different but they have to find someone else who is forgiving just like them and this is where the limits come in. So many feel justified in their hurt feelings and won't/can't let go.
Feb. 14 12:32 AM
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| 2/23/2015 3:36:16 AM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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pickygirl72
Pinon Hills, CA
46, joined Sep. 2011
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Guys heres what happens on the issue of "nice guys finish last".
Most 'nice' guys go for the hot bad girl and when she rejects him he throws out the poor me noone likes a nice guy speech. Why don't u go 4 nice gals? Stop going for gals out of your league for god sake
I only go for the
average nice guy and I never have a complaint from him or me for that matter. Usually his confidence will shine through, those who complain lack self esteem.
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| 2/23/2015 11:37:46 AM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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artist820
Tehachapi, CA
60, joined Jan. 2013
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If I were to tell the "nice guy" the truth, he would sulk all day and make my day miserable. So for now I'm not saying that he is grumpy when he wakes up from a nap. Why would I want to deal with that? I don't think I play games. Just because I'm not his "time-zone".  If we usually leave at 3:40 am every morning in a van pool and on the weekends he sleeps in; wakes up at 11:30 am. He shouldn't expect me to be energized at 11:30 am.....when I've been pulling weeds and picking up dog poo since 7:00 am. I decline dates out to eat lunch because I've already had brunch, so why would I want to go out to eat(?) I'm not being rude. Maybe if you told me the night before that we were going out to eat, I would have done some indoor work like dusting. I'm now ready to relax at 11:00 am after working around the garden all morning. I'm planning my next project......like calling some mechanics to fix the Jeep. He could call the mechanic, but he's still sleeping at 9:31 am. The jeep should have been taken in early this morning, so they can order the part and have it done by 5:00 pm, so he doesn't have to take another "sick day". Could you see how this is frustrating? Sick days are for emergencies. He thinks differently. I think men have different priorities and sleep needs. They need annoying power naps which just drain me. He wakes up and wants to talk my ear off. Geez slow down already. Makes me want to  need to sleep 8 hours at night to be able to function on that power-nap schedule of his. Maybe he's better suited for someone who naps.  how was that for breaking up? Ok ok here's his fit live on DH I'm tired of this
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| 3/11/2015 4:40:36 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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Guys heres what happens on the issue of "nice guys finish last".
Most 'nice' guys go for the hot bad girl and when she rejects him he throws out the poor me noone likes a nice guy speech. Why don't u go 4 nice gals? Stop going for gals out of your league for god sake
I only go for the
average nice guy and I never have a complaint from him or me for that matter. Usually his confidence will shine through, those who complain lack self esteem.
I don't agree with "Go for the girls / boys within your own league" since that would be limiting oneself.
The message I am trying to tell the guys is that it takes a lot more than "being nice" to get a date. Personal grooming, attitude, proper behavior, self esteem...are also part of the equation.
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| 3/11/2015 5:39:47 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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socratesfan
Johnson City, TN
56, joined May. 2014
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My experience with "the nice guy" is about the same as with "the nice girl"...there are people out there who are takers and then there are the givers. Anytime the balance is off, somebody seems to end up hurting.
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| 3/11/2015 6:28:46 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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My experience with "the nice guy" is about the same as with "the nice girl"...there are people out there who are takers and then there are the givers. Anytime the balance is off, somebody seems to end up hurting.
We are not talking about "givers / takers" but about the possible reasons a nice guy gets rejected.
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| 3/30/2015 12:49:39 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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treec36
Saint Petersburg, FL
38, joined Oct. 2014
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monkey see monkey do i don't play head games but i give my oppinion tho life teaches me how to treat a man
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| 4/5/2015 10:37:27 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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nothingneeded
Johnston, IA
48, joined Sep. 2014
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If this nice guy, smells, spits when he talks,and over weight...
He will contitue to be lonley unless he meets someone that's like him.
For the most part...folks care about themselves, grooming, clean, and at least keep their weight to a certain limit they wont allow to go pass.
He needs to accept that unless he as a nice person doesn't do better for himself...he will continue to be a nice person...alone.
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| 4/6/2015 7:54:30 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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nothingneeded
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| 4/7/2015 12:11:04 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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He needs to accept that unless he as a nice person doesn't do better for himself...he will continue to be a nice person...alone.
Sorry to tell you that he continues to look like a slob; in fact, he refuses to accept what I -and other people- have told him.
I am really sorry; he is a very good person and deserves to be loved like anybody else does.
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| 4/7/2015 5:20:18 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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ms_holland
Danville, AL
53, joined Mar. 2014
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If this nice guy, smells, spits when he talks,and over weight...
He will contitue to be lonley unless he meets someone that's like him.
For the most part...folks care about themselves, grooming, clean, and at least keep their weight to a certain limit they wont allow to go pass.
He needs to accept that unless he as a nice person doesn't do better for himself...he will continue to be a nice person...alone.
Not only this , but some folks, both men and women think they need another person in their life to, "fix them". They have the thought pattern that their life would just be perfect if I had the right person in my life.
Folks that think like this need a reality check. No one can, "fix you". You are the only one when it is all said and done that can fix yourself. Now others can help you, encourage you, etc, but you have to be the one to do the work.
Also, why would I want to be with someone who had bad hygene along with other problems that I would have to deal with?
I want and I have a healthy relationship that I am in now. We compliment each other, bring out the best in each other, we don't rely on each other to be happy. We were already that way before we got together.
As for the ladies who go into a relatiionship and think, "I can fix this man". Not usually going to happen. Either you love him for who he already is or don't be with him. You are setting yourself up for heartache down the road.
More than likely the man that needs to, "be fixed", is going to try to drag you down to their level.
Nope, not for me. Stability in my life is the goal I have for myself and for the man I have in my life. This leads to lots of happiness.
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| 4/7/2015 8:49:00 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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ms_holland
Excellent post.
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| 4/8/2015 5:29:34 AM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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ilovepoodles55
Schererville, IN
55, joined Feb. 2015
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Sometimes men who claim to be a nice guy are actually not nice. I look at what they do and not what they say. Actions speak louder than words.
Some men want you to feel sorry for them. I refuse to try to fix and man who is whollering in self pity.
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| 4/8/2015 11:00:16 AM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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NerdsR2Cute
Victorville, CA
45, joined Oct. 2014
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I do not distrust the whole gender when it is only ONE that caused the hurt. I do not hold grudges. Life is too short running around hating people. When I was going through my divorce support group there was so much venom in that room I was afraid to inhale. I gave up on that group and let them hate among themselves, I got private therapy, went back to school, raised my kids and waited till they were 18 to consider dating. By then I was ready. I been with my boyfriend for 3 years as of the 4th of this month and never been happier. So, if men want to keep the wound open and cower with self-pity let them, they are most likely the type you would not want to date anyways.
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| 4/8/2015 2:23:03 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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ms_holland
Danville, AL
53, joined Mar. 2014
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ms_holland
Excellent post.
Thank you.
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| 4/8/2015 4:17:31 PM |
Nice guys end up alone...women play head-games |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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Thank you.
Excellent for more than one reason...See, you got the message engulfed in the OP...others didn't.
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