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3/17/2015 5:56:00 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,654)
Enid, OK
55, joined Feb. 2010


I wrote this back in 2010 and felt the need to go and fond it for re-post due to all the questions and comments from woman about not finding "Good Men"

There are good men all around you every day, you just do not see them or dismiss them for whatever reason. He might be the man that holds the door open for you at the store, the man that gives up his seat on the bus or subway, or the man that smiles and says hello. He could be the man sitting by himself at the dinner eating, the one by himself at the coffee house reading in the corner. He might not be as hansom as you are looking for, he might be balding, have a slight belly, not dressed to the nine's or as outgoing as you would like.

The thing is there are many good men out there, but they are hiding in plain sight as they have had their hearts torn out, shredded, ripped up, stomped on and mangled by a woman in the past that they will not take a chance any more. They wait and watch hoping a good woman will see them and take the first step. More than likely he is a man you have put in the friend zone, as you do not see having a relationship with him.

Just a little food for thought ladies, take a chance on a man that you think of as a friend, he might be that good man you are looking for.

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3/17/2015 6:05:07 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

ibane
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,699)
Zanesville, OH
43, joined Feb. 2014


Makes sense to me.
But it's all for not around here cuz most of these broads think ur just tryin to fk em if ya hold the door.

I'll still hold the door...but sometimes
I wanna just bounce it off their fkn head.

3/17/2015 6:06:32 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (47,227)
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
online now!


OP, my advice is....stay away from women with too many issues.

If one thinks all men or too many men are lame.

she was issues....run forest run.

3/17/2015 6:07:57 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  
renee398
Chilhowie, VA
36, joined Jan. 2015


You are right about one thing, the good men do lay low, keep to themselves and are hard to get.

3/17/2015 6:11:11 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (47,227)
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
online now!


^^^^well, its more like the good legit men, because they put themselves on the line...go thru as much as enough women do as far as being taken advantage of, and all the rest.

So, they are more cautious and careful.

3/17/2015 6:13:29 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  
renee398
Chilhowie, VA
36, joined Jan. 2015


Cautious and careful are a few things that help make them "good men"

3/17/2015 6:14:52 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

acdmv
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,495)
Scarsdale, NY
47, joined Aug. 2014




3/17/2015 6:30:53 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

yetskimama
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,609)
Walterboro, SC
64, joined Sep. 2011


Quote from cavie59:
I wrote this back in 2010 and felt the need to go and fond it for re-post due to all the questions and comments from woman about not finding "Good Men"

There are good men all around you every day, you just do not see them or dismiss them for whatever reason. He might be the man that holds the door open for you at the store, the man that gives up his seat on the bus or subway, or the man that smiles and says hello. He could be the man sitting by himself at the dinner eating, the one by himself at the coffee house reading in the corner. He might not be as hansom as you are looking for, he might be balding, have a slight belly, not dressed to the nine's or as outgoing as you would like.

The thing is there are many good men out there, but they are hiding in plain sight as they have had their hearts torn out, shredded, ripped up, stomped on and mangled by a woman in the past that they will not take a chance any more. They wait and watch hoping a good woman will see them and take the first step. More than likely he is a man you have put in the friend zone, as you do not see having a relationship with him.

Just a little food for thought ladies, take a chance on a man that you think of as a friend, he might be that good man you are looking for.


3/17/2015 6:37:41 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

testsignup
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,233)
Springfield, VA
61, joined Sep. 2009


Can't tell much of anything just by looking at people. Always been that way.

The most hilariously ironic thing about people, especially males in our culture, is that the ones who are most actively working to meet the most other people are doing that because they want to "get around" a lot. They also tend to practice "charm" more extensively. That has the natural mathematical result, that a higher percentage of people who come after you are either cheating on someone else as they do, or are outright nuts.

In other words, it isn't that our choices are limited to the dregs of society, so much as it is that the dregs all push to the front of every line, and jump up and down in front of you.

Especially when one gets older, the opposite gender is likely to assume you are already married, if you aren't eagerly chasing them with tongue awag, and your trousers half way down already. It's the assumptions that do us all in, one way and another.

3/17/2015 6:44:58 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

dejavugirl
Miami, FL
40, joined Feb. 2013


I remember when i still were in a relationship, where i was mistreated. There was a handsome guy from a store. Who always had a smile, called me princess, gave candy or little presents to my son...he cared about me but i turned him down so many times because i was in love with my SO.



[Edited 3/17/2015 6:45:56 AM ]

3/17/2015 7:49:50 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (47,227)
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
online now!


Quote from renee398:
Cautious and careful are a few things that help make them "good men"


Its more like...because they were real and legit....they out their heart out there, and got it sniped enough time.

thus why they became cautious and all that....meaning these are by products of being good and real...and feeling they paid a price for that.

The caution and all...wasn't there in the beginning.

Too much trust and all was there initially.

we learn the hard way.



[Edited 3/17/2015 7:50:50 AM ]

3/17/2015 8:06:32 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

septembersong27
Beverly Hills, CA
46, joined Nov. 2012


Quote from cavie59:

Just a little food for thought ladies,


I don't want food for thought. I want chocolate.

3/17/2015 8:10:33 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

mustangwriter
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,676)
Boerne, TX
54, joined Nov. 2009


Quote from septembersong27:
I don't want food for thought. I want chocolate.


We've all wanted to do this at one point in our lives



3/17/2015 8:13:42 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (47,227)
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
online now!


Quote from dejavugirl:
I remember when i still were in a relationship, where i was mistreated. There was a handsome guy from a store. Who always had a smile, called me princess, gave candy or little presents to my son...he cared about me but i turned him down so many times because i was in love with my SO.


and who's to say that maybe down the road this better guy in your mind...wouldn't have turned out like your SO...?

who's to say in the beginning your SO didn't started out this way too???...I'd say so or else you wouldn't have been with him.

A person does better going into something being realistic, than relying on childish images, that make them feel someone is a certain way.

There's another part to this.

I've seen some good people start out a certain way....then things change, they don't get treated the same after a while....which in turn causes them to change and not act the same way as they did initially.

Some call it a defense mechanism....they see things may not be as real as they thought it was initially....so they withdraw to a point to protect themselves...thus not being as giving and all that.

Not that many women understand that when in a relation with feelings....his needs are the same as hers...because these are human traits...not gender specific.

and if is mostly second best and treated that way...then his needs are not being met...and that can cause people to change.



[Edited 3/17/2015 8:14:29 AM ]

3/17/2015 8:14:57 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

greeleybro
Over 1,000 Posts (1,294)
Longmont, CO
47, joined Oct. 2013


Quote from dejavugirl:
I remember when i still were in a relationship, where i was mistreated. There was a handsome guy from a store. Who always had a smile, called me princess, gave candy or little presents to my son...he cared about me but i turned him down so many times because i was in love with my SO.


^^^^^Story of my life...

3/17/2015 10:12:33 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

24milkduds
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,610)
San Francisco, CA
55, joined Mar. 2012


Same if changed to "woman/women"

Thanks for sharing

3/17/2015 10:21:32 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

gothygoogoo
Corning, CA
57, joined Feb. 2015
online now!


mustang...

it looks like it could have been dead in that last shot!!!


3/17/2015 1:12:43 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

digital_knight
Grand Rapids, MI
43, joined Nov. 2012


I'm going end up going for mail order brides . It shouldn't be this complicated to get a good woman .

3/17/2015 3:25:25 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  
iamalwaysjustme
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,699)
Kansas City, MO
55, joined Apr. 2009


Good men ? I was looking for the bad boy's dept


3/18/2015 2:02:32 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,654)
Enid, OK
55, joined Feb. 2010


Quote from iamalwaysjustme:
Good men ? I was looking for the bad boy's dept


Well. you should be able to find one of those with no problem.

3/18/2015 2:05:51 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

sicktalk
Bakersfield, CA
25, joined Feb. 2015


Feel bad for those misguided women.

I know how to chose a good man, That'll be something I'll never struggle with as I have good judgement and will not date a man just cause he looks good.

I'm a rare breed not many women are like me.

3/18/2015 2:15:27 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

photoartistguy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (69,159)
Minneapolis, MN
25, joined Dec. 2007


I have a tummy ache

3/18/2015 2:20:23 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

Offcell
Seattle, WA
21, joined Feb. 2015


I never settled for a man who was scum... don't know why other women have that problem its not really hard to find a good wholesome guy, stop having ridiculously high standards and you'll find him.

3/18/2015 2:22:10 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  
amargosa
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (15,748)
Riddle, OR
56, joined Aug. 2011


Quote from septembersong27:
I don't want food for thought. I want chocolate.



Come to Uncle Custis (waving Hershey bar.)

3/18/2015 5:29:51 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

txrose64
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (24,656)
Pearland, TX
51, joined Jan. 2013


Quote from sicktalk:
Feel bad for those misguided women.

I know how to chose a good man, That'll be something I'll never struggle with as I have good judgement and will not date a man just cause he looks good.

I'm a rare breed not many women are like me.


not at your age they're not..smart young lady

and at just the right age to be making those long term decisions too...have FUN!!!


I'd like to think my daughter who's your age has learned a thing or two about mom's bad mistakes (married when I was 20) I didn't even know who I was let alone capable of choosing a good life partner at that age..

3/18/2015 5:40:32 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  
Elisa78
GhurianAlmería
Spain
36, joined Jan. 2015


Quote from Offcell:
I never settled for a man who was scum... don't know why other women have that problem its not really hard to find a good wholesome guy, stop having ridiculously high standards and you'll find him.


She's right, many good men around.But sometimes you're in the woods and you cant see the trees.Some women have problems, betrayed, or damaged.
That makes attempt to protect themselves by putting their standards, beyond the reasonable limits.
But, keep one thing clear, blue princes also lose color, and the white horse can be a harley.

3/18/2015 10:44:06 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

norwegianwood64
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,049)
Huntsville, AL
51, joined Jul. 2014
online now!


The good men are in Russia on a two week social tour.

3/18/2015 11:15:18 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

jer3552
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,758)
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013


im a tubby good man does that count?

3/18/2015 11:25:39 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  
Elisa78
GhurianAlmería
Spain
36, joined Jan. 2015


of course u count, say
uno, dos, tres, cuatro......

3/18/2015 11:30:47 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

jer3552
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,758)
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013


lol

3/18/2015 2:26:47 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

playingindirt
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,774)
Eugene, OR
59, joined Mar. 2014


Quote from cavie59:


they have had their hearts torn out, shredded, ripped up, stomped on and mangled by a woman in the past that they will not take a chance any more.


If he isn't willing to take a chance he's still living his past.

3/18/2015 2:31:54 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  
teeheehee_
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,617)
Montreal, QC
33, joined Jun. 2014


"They wait and watch hoping a good woman will see them and take the first step". Sorry but he might be waiting a little while longer.

3/18/2015 2:39:58 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

jer3552
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,758)
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013


lazy women

3/18/2015 2:44:08 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  
teeheehee_
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,617)
Montreal, QC
33, joined Jun. 2014


I'm just shy, jer. Calm on the surface but explosive inside.

3/18/2015 6:51:07 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  
driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (39,447)
Saint Paul, MN
63, joined Oct. 2009


Hey OP I think that guy is ME! The airheads who complain the most never check out my profile.

3/18/2015 6:52:24 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  
driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (39,447)
Saint Paul, MN
63, joined Oct. 2009


Quote from teeheehee_:
I'm just shy, jer. Calm on the surface but explosive inside.



Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, if we date perhaps I'd better wear a mattress on all sides in case you explode.

3/18/2015 6:52:57 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

gothygoogoo
Corning, CA
57, joined Feb. 2015
online now!


Quote from teeheehee_:
I'm just shy, jer. Calm on the surface but explosive inside.


u
live
in
the
great up there!!!


perma
frost
feet!!!






3/18/2015 6:57:36 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  
artokol
Over 2,000 Posts (2,962)
Vaubecourt
France
49, joined Nov. 2014


Good man checking in...where's the food.

3/18/2015 6:58:24 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  
im2thexy
Over 2,000 Posts (3,780)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014


I ate it all...

3/18/2015 7:01:58 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

jester0011
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,082)
Lake Waccamaw, NC
47, joined Jun. 2014




3/19/2015 7:18:34 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

rickyspanish77
Winchester, VA
30, joined Dec. 2014


This is like telling a man he should settle for a woman whose unattractive sexually to said man because she's nice. Nice doesn't grind the meat. Also, the guy in the description sounds like he doesn't take care of himself, is not proactive, and thinks he's entitled to just have a woman fall in his lap.

3/19/2015 11:18:38 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  
giss7
Over 2,000 Posts (2,459)
New Orleans, LA
56, joined Nov. 2014
online now!


The good men are done with greedy gold digging selfish american women. They see them only as sex recepticles. Bang em and send them down the road.

3/19/2015 11:20:41 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

love2kiss8
Over 2,000 Posts (3,375)
Columbus, OH
23, joined May. 2013


Um not into a guy who is balding, or has a round belly. I would rather have a fit guy and that's just my preference. And that guy kinda sounds jaded from your description.



[Edited 3/19/2015 11:21:57 PM ]

3/20/2015 3:14:43 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  
giss7
Over 2,000 Posts (2,459)
New Orleans, LA
56, joined Nov. 2014
online now!


Quote from love2kiss8:
Um not into a guy who is balding, or has a round belly. I would rather have a fit guy and that's just my preference. And that guy kinda sounds jaded from your description.


Isn't that funny? Even fat chicks want in shape guys.

3/20/2015 4:40:19 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  

snarky__muffin
Sichuan
China
43, joined Mar. 2015


Good advice. Thanks, OP.

3/20/2015 5:42:04 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  
amargosa
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (15,748)
Riddle, OR
56, joined Aug. 2011


Quote from love2kiss8:
Um not into a guy who is balding, or has a round belly. I would rather have a fit guy and that's just my preference. And that guy kinda sounds jaded from your description.





Interesting preferences from someone who has an a** like a water buffalo and thighs like Rosanne Barr. I usually try not to be offensive, but when someone chooses to insult a large number of men based on what they look like, they should at least have some higher ground from which to speak.

3/20/2015 1:35:46 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

love2kiss8
Over 2,000 Posts (3,375)
Columbus, OH
23, joined May. 2013


Quote from giss7:
Isn't that funny? Even fat chicks want in shape guys.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Not a fat chick coming from a guy with no pics.

3/20/2015 1:55:36 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

fishnthec
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,804)
Mesquite, TX
63, joined Oct. 2010


Good men through the ages, trying to find the sun.

And I wonder, and I wonder, who'll stop the rain?

3/20/2015 2:20:55 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  
giss7
Over 2,000 Posts (2,459)
New Orleans, LA
56, joined Nov. 2014
online now!


Quote from love2kiss8:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Not a fat chick coming from a guy with no pics.


That's because women I knew wanted to have sex with me. I Wasnt such a b*tch or fat a** that I had to beg strangers on line for sex. Then I met a woman so wonderful I couldn't have dreamed of her and we got married. So I have no pic because I'm not interested in you fat a** greedy selfish american women. And btw, you are qiute fat.

3/20/2015 7:44:37 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

love2kiss8
Over 2,000 Posts (3,375)
Columbus, OH
23, joined May. 2013


Quote from giss7:
That's because women I knew wanted to have sex with me. I Wasnt such a b*tch or fat a** that I had to beg strangers on line for sex. Then I met a woman so wonderful I couldn't have dreamed of her and we got married. So I have no pic because I'm not interested in you fat a** greedy selfish american women. And btw, you are qiute fat.

----------------------------------------------
I didn't ask for your life story blah blah blah acting like you are a hot commodity when you are just scared of showing how unattractive you are. I could care less about your life story. And I didn't say anything about sex or anyone having to beg for it. You sound very disulional telling me all this stuff I could care less about. I also could care less about your hated for american women something else I didn't ask about. You and your no pic self can stay full of yourself. You must like my body to comment about it. Anyway stay a weirdo.

3/20/2015 10:40:25 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  
driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (39,447)
Saint Paul, MN
63, joined Oct. 2009


Best post I've ever read on DH in my nearly 6 years in here. It's absolutely dead on.

*****

3/20/2015 11:09:12 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

leeag
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,989)
Milwaukee, WI
47, joined May. 2011


Quote from cavie59:
They wait and watch hoping a good woman will see them and take the first step.


Yeah, they're butthurt pussies that want women to drop into their lap

Newsflash.....women want YOU to be the aggressive one. The one who has the balls to approach, the charm to intrigue and the confidence to blow them off when they aren't behaving like you want

These "good men" are only good because they got no choice. Deep down they're a bunch of shallow a**holes who think that being nice will get them p*ssy.

Instead, they come off as whiney, needy losers who fake like they're all about respecting women when the truth is that they just want a hot chick to fall all over them.

I bet if a heavy 40yr old good lady tossed you her number, you'd leave it on the table and walk out.

3/20/2015 11:37:50 PM This is where the "Good Men" are  

sassyvtmom40
Rutland, VT
40, joined Feb. 2015


ship some to my state... I've looked for him ... Can't find him lol. Sick being bum magnet

3/21/2015 1:01:44 AM This is where the "Good Men" are  
giss7
Over 2,000 Posts (2,459)
New Orleans, LA
56, joined Nov. 2014
online now!


Quote from love2kiss8:
Um not into a guy who is balding, or has a round belly. I would rather have a fit guy and that's just my preference. And that guy kinda sounds jaded from your description.


this is the problem. Here's a lovely 160 pound woman who is about 5'5" that finds unfit men unacceptable yet is on the border of slovenly herself. Another example of American women who want WAY more than they are willing to give.