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4/6/2015 9:52:35 AM The Alabama Preacher Said What?  

frograbbittoad
Over 1,000 Posts (1,622)
Mount Pleasant, MI
63, joined May. 2008


The Alabama preacher said to his congregation,
"Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor
that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan,this is a horrible
lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.
Now,I want the party who did this to stand and ask
for forgiveness from God and this Christian Family".

No one moved.The preacher continued."Do you have the
nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood?
Remember,you will be forgiven and in your heart you
will feel glory.Now stand and confess your transgression".
Again all was quiet.

Than slowly, a drop dead gorgeous blond with a body that
would stop traffic,rose from the third pew.Her head was
bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke,
Reverend,there has been a terrible misunderstanding.
I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan,I
simply told a few girlfriends that you were a Wizard
under the sheets.

The preacher fell to his knees,his wife fainted and
the congregation roared!



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4/6/2015 2:54:49 PM The Alabama Preacher Said What?  

ericr64
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,511)
Mount Pleasant, MI
53, joined Jun. 2007


msalpenamon heard a statistic that 99% of all auto accidents happen within 1.5 miles of home.... So she moved.

4/6/2015 5:15:25 PM The Alabama Preacher Said What?  

frograbbittoad
Over 1,000 Posts (1,622)
Mount Pleasant, MI
63, joined May. 2008


Magic Apples

An old man handed a young boy a apple told him
they were magical.The boy thinking this old man
is nuts.The boy took a bite and said it tasted
like watermelon."Ok,turn it,"he said.

The boy did and took another bite and said it
tasted like a peach.

The youngster still wasn't convinced that they
were magic.The Old Fellow told him to name
something else that he liked to eat.
"I like to eat p*ssy".He snapped.

The man handed him another apple and told him to
try it.
He took a big bite,spit it out,wiped his mouth
and said,"That tasted like shit."

The old man smiled looked at him,smiled and
said,"Turn it over."

4/7/2015 6:17:18 AM The Alabama Preacher Said What?  

frograbbittoad
Over 1,000 Posts (1,622)
Mount Pleasant, MI
63, joined May. 2008


Have you ever asked your child a question
too many times?

My 3yr.old son had a lot of problems with potty
training and I was on him constantly.One day we
stopped at a Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between
errands.It was very crowded,with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco,I smelled something funny,So
of course I checked my 7 month old daughter,she was
clean.Then realized that Danny had not asked to go
potty in awhile.I asked him if he needed to go,and he
said "NO". I kept thinking,Oh Lord,that child has had
and accident,and I don't have any clothes with me.
Then I said to "Danny, are you sure you didn't have
an accident?"
"No"he replied. I just knew that he must have had an
accident,because the smell was getting worse.
Sooooo,I asked one more time,"Danny,did you have
an accident?"
This time he jumped up,Yanked down his pants,Bent
over,Spread his cheeks,And Yelled "See MOM ITS JUST
FARTS!!!

While 30 people nearly chocked to death on their tacos
laughing,He clamly pulled up his pants and sat down.

4/17/2015 10:28:50 AM The Alabama Preacher Said What?  

iiifrediii
Over 2,000 Posts (3,334)
Westland, MI
38, joined Jul. 2009