It's Good To Be A Man.
yes , but we feel the pain and health issues just as a woman would, only a little differently as expected...


Your last name stays put.
its not necessarily a general rule that absolutely has to be followed, and I didn't make that one up...

The garage is all yours.
again, not necessarily true.. unlike most guys, I am always willing to make some sort of compromise...


Wedding plans take care of themselves.
not true, mostly all of my friends, which are still married to this day, had an equal share in planning their own weddings...


Chocolate is just another snack.
CORRECTION !!! it is not a snack, its a candy..
now go make me a sammich, woman, chop chop ...


You can be President.
I don't wanna be president of anything, I did it for a volunteer fire dept. for quite a while years ago, those days are gone and over...


You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
well thank you for saying, but I choose what color T shirts I wear, where ever I go...


Car mechanics tell you the truth.
wrong, you just gotta show them you know whats up and that you mean business, and that you won't be taken advantage of.. knowledge under the hood goes a long way in a garage.. good thing my brother is a mechanic, taught me what I know ... ..


You don't give a rat's a** if someone notices your new haircut.
hey now, just wait a minute here.. we've taken our fair share of verbal beatings about hair styles over the years from our buddies.... we just know better not to over do it with the hair thing...

The world is your urinal.
hey, things just happened to work out that way for us.. you know its always been said, " things happen for a reason "...

Same work... more pay.
I guess you never heard the phrase, " Work smart, not hard "...

Wrinkles add character.
I only worry about the wrinkles in my clothes, and when I make people laugh, I always here them say, " He's such a character "...

Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
after shelling out a lifes savings for the quite sizable stone I'm about to put on her finger, which by the way I'm sure I'd get a lot of compliments on it just as she would, so showing up dressed like Larry the Cable Guy in a cut off flannel shirt , which would be black might I add, a $100 is all I'd have left...

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
most always we're checking out the surroundings of women we are blessed to to have the opportunity to view ...

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
better to let it out and take the shame then keep it in and bear the pain, besides, you can win some really good cash prize at belching contests...

New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
always remember to never try and cram a square peg through a round hole.... a similar concept applies to shoes also... comfort is the main thing...

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "Notice anything
different?"
only unless its a new addition to the man cave or something pertaining to our trucks or hunting equipment or fishing gear, stuff like that...

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
some times its gone on past that, 60 seconds, tops...

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
usually its a large duffle bag that has been laying around in the man cave for a while, never know when you're gonna need to pack fast...

You can open all your own jars.
if its on there that tight, I won't be buying that product any longer... hello hungry man frozen dinners...

You can leave the motel bed unmade.
damn skippy, I paid for that service...

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone
forgets to invite you to something, he can still be your friend.
gotta think about this one, get back to me later on this one babe...

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
its called smart shopping mixed with the feeling of comfort...

If you are 38 and single, nobody notices.
thats a good feature, especially for those who you really don't wanna be noticed by...


Everything on your face stays its original colour.
some people color their face to enhance their beauty and others just seem to hide what they don't want others to see...

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
I beg to differ that one, I have one hell of a shoe and boot collection, ya know , shoes for work, play, casual ... the same goes for my boots...

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
she has always likes being serviced while doing her service for me...

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
I always run the courtesy of showing up with at least a 12 pack...

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
camouflage, color of choice...

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
old school rule is, " righty tighty, lefty loosey "...

You almost never have strap problems in public.
only if its a belt on the motor of my truck or the belt that holds up my pants...

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
the maid takes care of those...

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
why change if it looks good...

You don't have to shave below your neck.
the maid does that for me too...

Your belly usually hides your big fat hips.


One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
I think we covered that one already, and you spelled COLOR wrong for the 3rd time now.... ..

You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
I really don't like to show off a lot, so I use old fashioned nail clippers...