| 8/25/2008 8:40:56 PM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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beachluva23
Seaside Heights, NJ
age: 49
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This thread is geared to divorced people w/ grown children because I understand this subject is totally different for those w/ no children and want some, or for those w/ young children.....
Would you ever get married again or would you just live together w/ your soulmate? If you would get married, what are some of the reasons you would marry? Except for health insurance reasons, which many companies are accepting domestic partners now, I can't think of a reason to get married and combine all of the assets we have worked hard all of our lives for. Would you worry about what you might leave for your children? Just curious. Maybe some of your arguments might change my philosphy on the subject.
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| 8/25/2008 8:59:11 PM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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sapphireblue579
Jackson, MI
age: 49
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Yes, I would marry again. My husband destroyed me financially, so I have nothing (other than my car) to lose. And material things are not all that important to me. I would never get married for health ins., but that would be a plus.
But, I will not marry a man for money, home or (so-called) security.
I will marry only because I love him, and cannot live without him.
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| 8/25/2008 9:10:50 PM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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darbie59
Whitby, ON
age: 48
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I don't know about the United States, but in Canada once you are living together for i believe it is a yr now the laws are the same wether married or not. Although what ever you had/owned before the union belongs to you if the union breaks up.
So to marry or not would not affect previous assets, only those accuired after the union.
[Edited 8/25/2008 9:12:15 PM]
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| 8/26/2008 7:49:32 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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swifteagle
Elk City, OK
age: 64
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This thread is geared to divorced people w/ grown children because I understand this subject is totally different for those w/ no children and want some, or for those w/ young children.....
Would you ever get married again or would you just live together w/ your soulmate? If you would get married, what are some of the reasons you would marry? Except for health insurance reasons, which many companies are accepting domestic partners now, I can't think of a reason to get married and combine all of the assets we have worked hard all of our lives for. Would you worry about what you might leave for your children? Just curious. Maybe some of your arguments might change my philosphy on the subject.
Beach, this a very thought provoking thread and one that needs to be planned for in preparation for any type of union. In my own life, most of the things that my adult children want are momentos and memories of the beginning of their lives. I have freely given of my assets along the way when considering my future plans. For those things I want to keep but pass on, I have placed in trust for them. Divorce is a legal process that seldoms deals with fairness and equity. It is the legal dissolution of a contractural agreement. Yes, that's the cold hard fact.
Life is a risk. I would remarry but only for love. In the process, I am offering to share not only my life but all my material assets. It is fair that my spouse retain the things she brought with her, but it is also fair that she should share in those things she helped to bring into being through the marriage. I have no problem with fair and equitable settlements, knowing full well both of us must go forward from that point with our lives.
My willingness to combine my assets is part of my commitment to my marriage and is absolutely necessary in the success of that union. The only things I hold in reserve are those already committed and I would expect no less of my partner. I have no fear of that commitment and I enter the union with eyes wide open. I am willing to take the risk as the rewards are immeasurable.
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| 8/26/2008 7:52:19 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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angiecoleman
San Diego, CA
age: 26
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This thread is geared to divorced people w/ grown children because I understand this subject is totally different for those w/ no children and want some, or for those w/ young children.....
Would you ever get married again or would you just live together w/ your soulmate? If you would get married, what are some of the reasons you would marry? Except for health insurance reasons, which many companies are accepting domestic partners now, I can't think of a reason to get married and combine all of the assets we have worked hard all of our lives for. Would you worry about what you might leave for your children? Just curious. Maybe some of your arguments might change my philosphy on the subject.
when people are young they marry for different reasons than when older....
young, to have kids and raise a family...
when older, if your divorced you could screw youself bad by marrying.... right out of your ex's social security and pension...
over 60 years old .... it does not matter as much but my point is... you better
be careful to marry before 60...
many rules and laws could effect you and you could end up in poverty
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| 8/26/2008 8:01:29 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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notfit1
Titusville, FL
age: 47
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Great answer, sapphire! Hell yes, I would marry again. If memory serves me correct, my daughter is living her own life as she is over 21. I think, anyway, I am still living mine. If i was worried about my material wealth I would stay single. But, those objects aren't very comfortable to snuggle up with at night, and they damn sure aren't worried/or care about me or happy to see me come through the door at night. A nice insurance policy in your childrens' name should suffice. I see too many people in this world who worry more about dead presidents than they do about living. JMO
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| 8/26/2008 8:02:38 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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dancinglynx64
Reedsburg, WI
age: 44
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I will NEVER get married again, ever, end of story. Once was enough for me & it was a BIG, BIG mistake.
[Edited 8/26/2008 8:03:22 AM]
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| 8/26/2008 8:25:43 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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angiecoleman
San Diego, CA
age: 26
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This thread is geared to divorced people w/ grown children because I understand this subject is totally different for those w/ no children and want some, or for those w/ young children.....
Would you ever get married again or would you just live together w/ your soulmate? If you would get married, what are some of the reasons you would marry? Except for health insurance reasons, which many companies are accepting domestic partners now, I can't think of a reason to get married and combine all of the assets we have worked hard all of our lives for. Would you worry about what you might leave for your children? Just curious. Maybe some of your arguments might change my philosphy on the subject.
If your ok with losing half your pension.... then by all means marry.
Because even if your married a short time, you could have to give your ex half...
there are men looking for women with health/ life benefits, with a pension and good social security ( can start at 62 )
and he will forever feel your "love"
haha
marriage is a LEGAL and BINDING entity....
only reason to marry when kids are not involved is to financially protect someone or take care of them. if you marry make sure he has a pension and health/ life insurance of his own and that you discuss matters of a will beforehand and get it in writing or
you copuld end up broke and homeless.
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| 8/26/2008 8:32:32 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
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I would remarry if the planets were aligned correctly, if the timing was right, if it felt right...
As to my pension, my ex already is entitled to a portion upon retirement, and I to his; basically, it's a wash.
I have insurance- life and health- and my kids are entitled to whatever I have.
Marriage is not the "goal" it was for me 20 years ago; I don't feel compelled to be married, I'm not looking to start a family; but if it felt right, I would remarry.
First I have to go on a date, tho. No sense putting the cart before the horse. 
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| 8/26/2008 8:34:30 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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breeze341
Denver, CO
age: 41
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I would marry again, if everything felt right.
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| 8/26/2008 9:19:29 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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angiecoleman
San Diego, CA
age: 26
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I would remarry if the planets were aligned correctly, if the timing was right, if it felt right...
As to my pension, my ex already is entitled to a portion upon retirement, and I to his; basically, it's a wash.
I have insurance- life and health- and my kids are entitled to whatever I have.
Marriage is not the "goal" it was for me 20 years ago; I don't feel compelled to be married, I'm not looking to start a family; but if it felt right, I would remarry.
First I have to go on a date, tho. No sense putting the cart before the horse.
he may not have a pension, many people don't.. all they have is a 401K
which is not the same thing
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| 8/26/2008 9:30:04 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
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I would remarry if the planets were aligned correctly, if the timing was right, if it felt right...
As to my pension, my ex already is entitled to a portion upon retirement, and I to his; basically, it's a wash.
I have insurance- life and health- and my kids are entitled to whatever I have.
Marriage is not the "goal" it was for me 20 years ago; I don't feel compelled to be married, I'm not looking to start a family; but if it felt right, I would remarry.
First I have to go on a date, tho. No sense putting the cart before the horse.
he may not have a pension, many people don't.. all they have is a 401K
which is not the same thing
I have both - my point was really that I don't need his pension. I've worked all my life and have a pension in addition to a 401K, and life insurance, health insurance...
I'm a fabulous catch
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| 8/26/2008 9:40:12 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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ll53
Three Rivers, MI
age: 55 online now!
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Today I say.... never.
Tomorrow I may say.....maybe.
Next week I may say....yes.
Life has a way of changing us and our ideas.
Getting married again?
"Never say never"
As for living together?
"Never say never."
Only to the right person and the right circumstances in either case.
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| 8/26/2008 9:43:26 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 86
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The IRS needs to be considered in order to save inheritance tax
Is any relationship, given 7 years or more,(legal in some states)
as common law marriage....???
** outside of legal recorded marriage a tax preferred event**????
...the last I knew, it
was not and the tax laws can be brutal for the survivors.
Being married, upon the death of one entity allows for wonderful
tax benefits to the remaining spouse.....(first hand experience)
and while we are discussing legal matters:
Please be sure you have changed your will to reflect your current
state of affairs, and how you want your things handled in case you get
hit with a freight train tomorrow. YOU REALLY need to have a will...
please do this for yourself...NOW.
Anytime you might get married in the future you will need to update your
will again and reflect your current events at that time.
sample of a legal service that is affordable:
legalzoom.com ...you can prepare your paperwork on line,
have it reviewed by legal zoom,
and signed by a notary in your city....if you care to.
Just be sure you have provided for the people YOU WANT TO INHERIT your
life accumulations. no matter how small, put it in writing...please.
Winesong
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| 8/26/2008 9:49:05 AM |
For Those w/ Grown Children: Would You Ever Get Married Again? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
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good advice, winesong, and I did, in fact, do that. I went to legal zoom and prepared my will after my divorce- it was surprisingly affordable and easy. And it put my mind at ease as far as my kids are concerned for guardians.
As to protecting assets, speaking with a financial advisor is a small investment for someone to make if they are concerned about where their monies will go in the event of divorce, etc.
Information is our friend, and to not ask the questions beforehand is foolish. There is a lot more to remarriage than just love.
[Edited 8/26/2008 9:51:53 AM]
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