A change of underwear may be required

2/3/2016 6:07:13 PM	A change of underwear may be required
uk1971 Rietberg Germany 61, joined Aug. 2008	(this post has been flagged as inappropriate, sorry.) Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
2/3/2016 7:35:36 PM	A change of underwear may be required
nick269 Akron, OH 55, joined Jun. 2011
2/3/2016 8:46:39 PM	A change of underwear may be required
babooy Wilkes Barre, PA 51, joined Jun. 2010	to long of a read.
2/4/2016 6:30:23 PM	A change of underwear may be required
packersbabe920 Green Bay, WI 51, joined Jul. 2013
3/9/2016 1:04:08 PM	A change of underwear may be required
youtubejunkie Medford, OR 59, joined Dec. 2013	I would love for her to detail my car.
3/9/2016 4:13:51 PM	A change of underwear may be required
bistia Roseville, CA 49, joined Jul. 2009	Quote from uk1971: My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!... OH MY GOOD GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious... Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe... OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake... Remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DANG!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to fart. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bath, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, Right??? WRONG!!!!!!! I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the bath...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the bath as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter---- "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for wax removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH SHIT!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the crap out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I recklessly shave it off. Damn, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......!!! Now who is the idiot that flagged this??? I think it's funny...
3/9/2016 4:39:44 PM	A change of underwear may be required
cupocheer Assumption, IL 67, joined May. 2010	But then, does that make you the idiot who didn't flag it? Now I think that's funny.
3/9/2016 4:39:59 PM	A change of underwear may be required
cupocheer Assumption, IL 67, joined May. 2010
3/9/2016 6:16:38 PM	A change of underwear may be required
packersbabe920 Green Bay, WI 51, joined Jul. 2013	Wasn't me
3/9/2016 8:01:00 PM	A change of underwear may be required
bistia Roseville, CA 49, joined Jul. 2009	Quote from cupocheer: But then, does that make you the idiot who didn't flag it? Now I think that's funny. I knew you were lame...but nwver thought you were lame and stupid...you suck and so does your lame a jokes... I blocked you one time and would love to know how you got unblocked... Stay away from me you stupid a b*tch!!!
3/9/2016 10:03:46 PM	A change of underwear may be required
cupocheer Assumption, IL 67, joined May. 2010	Quote from bistia: I knew you were lame...but nwver thought you were lame and stupid...you suck and so does your lame a jokes... I blocked you one time and would love to know how you got unblocked... Stay away from me you stupid a b*tch!!! Now... I take offense to this. I am not lame. I just have short legs.
3/22/2016 1:22:27 PM	A change of underwear may be required
youtubejunkie Medford, OR 59, joined Dec. 2013	Quote from packersbabe920: Wasn't me I confess it wasnt me either. lol

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