| 2/6/2009 6:19:43 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
maryg2
Philadelphia, PA
age: 39
|
ive been on here long enuf that at least ONCE a day, if not twice, i see a thread that says along the lines of "why cant i meet anyone" OR "these ppl r this and that" OR "no one is interested in dating"....and blah, blah, blah. my thoughts on this r like enuf is enuf. i mean am i just really being picky here? i can see the need to vent but at some point most everybody esp. on these forums are of an older age and u just need to put your best foot forward and see what happens. my point being u shud be old enuf to know what u want and weed out what u dont want.
** if u want to post a thread about "pointers" so to speak on what could encourage ppl to want to date u or some advice is one thing. but i just constantly see ppl COMPLAIN about how they haven't found the love of their life like in a nanosecond.
** this is probably the first COMPLAINT thread ive made but i do need to vent a moment! 
is it really just me or what?
|
| 2/6/2009 6:22:13 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
beanz991
Houston, TX
age: 41
|
I think most of those people who post the 'I can't meet anyone' thread expect dates to come knocking at the door.
As I always tell them...if YOU put yourself out there and work...ie Actually leave the house 2-3 times a week to an environment where there are a lot of possibilities..then you will have NO trouble meeting people.
After I got divorced I did this and had many many 'options'.
EDIT: those that respond with 'I don't like the bar scene'...well guess what..I don't like going to work everyday but I do it! (no pain no gain).
[Edited 2/6/2009 6:27:00 AM PST]
|
| 2/6/2009 6:23:55 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
elko7667
Redmond, OR
age: 39
|
hello my name is blaine....
nice to meet you....maryg2
[Edited 2/6/2009 6:24:25 AM PST]
|
| 2/6/2009 6:35:53 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
nightwings
Gainesville, FL
age: 42
|
I think most of those people who post the 'I can't meet anyone' thread expect dates to come knocking at the door.
As I always tell them...if YOU put yourself out there and work...ie Actually leave the house 2-3 times a week to an environment where there are a lot of possibilities..then you will have NO trouble meeting people.
After I got divorced I did this and had many many 'options'.
EDIT: those that respond with 'I don't like the bar scene'...well guess what..I don't like going to work everyday but I do it! (no pain no gain).
Agreed!
If online dating doesn't work......it's most likely YOUR style that's defective! There are millions of different types of people out there, if you're having a hard time connecting then CHANGE your strategy & behavior!
|
| 2/6/2009 6:44:13 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
sharolas
Elk Grove Village, IL
age: 39
|
I have to agree there are too many threads like that. People need to realize that finding someone does not happen overnight and it takes time and patience.
|
| 2/6/2009 6:44:48 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
cinthianna
Goshen, IN
age: 29
|
Thanks Mary,..I was just going to start my own thread with exactly that title!!
I'm kidding,... I agree, it is how much, you are willing to do to meet people. I have had quite a few oppurtunities, some I've taken, some I haven't to meet people through this means...
I also, spend quite a bit of time in the real world, and find oppurtunities there...
I think the excuse of "I can't meet anyone" is a cop-out, There are many stages from the last relationship to the next and people who tend to find themselves unable to meet new, are really just not ready to do that....
This doesn't pertain to meeting the right candidate, this just pertains to the ones claiming not to be able to meet any.
|
| 2/6/2009 6:58:51 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
curves385
Saint Petersburg, FL
age: 38
|
Yes I agree, you can meet people just put yourself out there. I don't like emailing forever either I want to meet someone, otherwise you feel like they aren't serious and we know there are a few of those here.
|
| 2/6/2009 7:39:11 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 43
|
I think a big part of being attractive to other people is being ok with yourself.
I do think that many people- myself included, sometimes- wish that someone would just FIND them... lol... just see all that they have to offer and scoop them up out of their misery...
but who wants to be with someone who is miserable?
It's attitude- and faking it till you make it.
so who wants to go out with me???? 
|
| 2/6/2009 7:50:27 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
binderdundat
Metairie, LA
age: 47
|
Quote from beanz991:
I think most of those people who post the 'I can't meet anyone' thread expect dates to come knocking at the door.
As I always tell them...if YOU put yourself out there and work...ie Actually leave the house 2-3 times a week to an environment where there are a lot of possibilities..then you will have NO trouble meeting people.
After I got divorced I did this and had many many 'options'.
EDIT: those that respond with 'I don't like the bar scene'...well guess what..I don't like going to work everyday but I do it! (no pain no gain).
Agreed!
If online dating doesn't work......it's most likely YOUR style that's defective! There are millions of different types of people out there, if you're having a hard time connecting then CHANGE your strategy & behavior!
I agree, but only to an extent. I'm glad it's easy for some of you to "get out in the real world 2-3 times a week", but if it were that easy, there'd be no demand for dating sites now would there? It's not that easy for some BUT... there ARE lots of things that can be done to increase their odds! Post a pic... post MANY! Actively SEEK... send out emails! And not just "hey baby" emails! put some thought into it! Even into the subject header... I roll my eyes the instant I see "Hey sexy" in the subject header. Use your brains! And for those that insist on emailing for months on end before meeting because you're "too scared"... be prepared to be alone. There is nothing to be "scared" of. Meet in a public place... google "safe online dating practices" if you simply MUST... but MEET people!
|
| 2/6/2009 8:03:15 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
andytk
San Diego, CA
age: 24
|
why cant i meet anyone? no one wants to date me. . .
poor little me.
just kidding, i do think that there are a lot of people that post threads like that, but i think that it is just a way for them to show-case themselves to a broader audience. I myself have never started a thread like that, mine are a bit more trivial and odd. but that is just me.
|
| 2/6/2009 8:14:59 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 42
|
ive been on here long enuf that at least ONCE a day, if not twice, i see a thread that says along the lines of "why cant i meet anyone" OR "these ppl r this and that" OR "no one is interested in dating"
It's self fulfilling prophecy. If you put this out there in the Ethereal enough you'll prove yourself right 100% of the time. 
|
| 2/6/2009 8:26:24 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
slowhand31
South Pittsburg, TN
age: 31
|
I think in most cases those types of threads are just a means to get attention. Sometimes, if not much of the time, the people posting have been here about as lng as I have or less... There are some who may have been on here for a real amount of time, but obviously were not making the most of it or taking it MUCH too seriously and putting more pressure on themselves than is needed.
Yeah I can see where finding someone can be discouraging, but posting threads like that sure as hell aren;t going to increase your chances. Especially is they come off as insulting to the very people you wish to attract.
|
| 2/6/2009 8:29:54 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
beanz991
Houston, TX
age: 41
|
I agree, but only to an extent. I'm glad it's easy for some of you to "get out in the real world 2-3 times a week", but if it were that easy, there'd be no demand for dating sites now would there?
It's not easy....but you can still do it, schedules can be changed...its a matter of prioritization...if it is not a priority then don't do it...BUT then don't ask why can't I meet people! If you do not work for something you will not get it..that is the answer.
No it's not easy to go out and 'prowl' especially for a woman..but you CAN suck it up and do it and you WILL get more comfortable doing it after a while and WILL get results.
I am extremely skeptical of online dating and do not recommend it at all as the way to go....maybe as a last resort....but I would always advise people to make the effort and get out first...if you have kids...get a babysitter, ask your mother to watch them for a couple hours etc etc...there is always a way.
You can wait for it to come knocking on your door or you can go knocking on doors.....the latter will provide quicker results.
[Edited 2/6/2009 8:30:26 AM PST]
|
| 2/6/2009 8:36:52 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
binderdundat
Metairie, LA
age: 47
|
It's not easy....but you can still do it, schedules can be changed...its a matter of prioritization...if it is not a priority then don't do it...BUT then don't ask why can't I meet people! If you do not work for something you will not get it..that is the answer.
No it's not easy to go out and 'prowl' especially for a woman..but you CAN suck it up and do it and you WILL get more comfortable doing it after a while and WILL get results.
I am extremely skeptical of online dating and do not recommend it at all as the way to go....maybe as a last resort....but I would always advise people to make the effort and get out first...if you have kids...get a babysitter, ask your mother to watch them for a couple hours etc etc...there is always a way.
You can wait for it to come knocking on your door or you can go knocking on doors.....the latter will provide quicker results.
Well I guess I disagree because I'm coming from a female stand point. I'm NOT going to go "prowling" in the bars for men... I'd just as soon stay single than go to that extent.
I also forgot to add to my previous post about how to "seek"...
Quit yer freakin whining!!! There is NOTHING more unbecoming than a whiner!!
|
| 2/6/2009 9:28:25 AM |
"i can't meet anyone" threads! |
|
beanz991
Houston, TX
age: 41
|
Well I guess I disagree because I'm coming from a female stand point. I'm NOT going to go "prowling" in the bars for men... I'd just as soon stay single than go to that extent.
I also forgot to add to my previous post about how to "seek"...
Quit yer freakin whining!!! There is NOTHING more unbecoming than a whiner!!
I put 'prowling' in quotes because just to use the word for fun.
You can still go out and not 'prowl'. It doesn't have to be bars, could be a church even!...they have things going on every night of the week and specifically a lot of them are for single members of the church etc.
There are many many places that you can go that are not 'bars'. Go sit in the coffee shop of Barnes and Noble and read 1 evening a week...you will get interest. Volunteer at a charitable organization (habit for humanity etc).
I seriously don't understand why people complain when they sit in the house and think it's gonna come knocking.
|