| 10/31/2007 9:22:34 PM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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falcon77
Eugene, OR
age: 41
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Is part of the problem we have with relationships is that we expect our partner to fulfill the idealized picture we have for ourselves? A simple illusionary thought in our mind? When someone ceases to do that (and it never takes long) is that when the honeymoon starts to be over for you? We start to ask questions like...What the hell is wrong with her or him? They are doing all the things I can't stand or I'm so damn miserable nobody sees me for who I am?. Is when a person doesn't accurately reflect your "dream" picture of yourself or promote your comfort level and pleasure when things kinda turn hostile or argumentive for YOU? Think about it? There is no one who will ever please us in all the ways we want so how on earth do we deal with those dissappointments, shattered hopes, and the pain of our own illusionary thoughts? Ideally, it's in a nonverbal fashion. We have to enter our thought content peacefully until we can safely enter a suffering phase and break through those "false" illusions we have about ourselves, then and only then, can true compassion emerge and people become their "real" self. Are people just too scared to deal with looking at themselves or is our ego the true barrier that stops us from becoming our authentic self? Thoughts?
[Edited 10/31/2007 10:21:11 PM]
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| 10/31/2007 9:37:51 PM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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krupa1
Abilene, TX
age: 39 online now!
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Hell no!....Idealisms and reality are totally seperate.......I have some Idealized art work on my profile....it is fine to have ideas.......it is good to have a grasp on reality too.
I get stoned or drunk.....I will have an idealism that I will paint.....I don't think it hurts anyone....but I still can appreciate reality....
Who the hell am I to think that I would deserve perfection?
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| 10/31/2007 10:04:51 PM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 41
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Damn, Falcon. Well, at least you are thinking about it...I myself am not looking for anybody to ummm...what is the word I am looking for? Well, maybe cater? Cater to my ideal version of myself. Im not saying thats what you are doing, just trying to honestly respond to that thought provoking post......
I would like to find someone who can deal with the absolute UNideal version of me...the one dealing with day to day life...kids..work...laundry. I want someone who can live that life with me and still find time to sneak away and find that awesome one on one time when you remember that you are HOT...and sex is GOOD...and kids are not the absolute end of the universe...
I try really hard not to have those 'illusionary thoughts'. It leads to pain and dissapointment for me, him, my kids...what the hell good is that?
Seriously. Life. Its hard work. You need a place to eat, shit and sleep. It all comes down to that. Finding someone who can share the work of providing those basics, and can take the moments to find the joy of each other in between, well, to me, thats what it is all about.
I read the serenity prayer a LOT.
Luvin
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| 10/31/2007 10:14:22 PM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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peachess
El Reno, OK
age: 40
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I'm not looking for anyone to fix me...Just someone cracked enough to hang with me!
xoxoPeaches.
Besides, The things that make me are my flaws,experiences etc...
[Edited 10/31/2007 10:15:14 PM]
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| 10/31/2007 10:15:17 PM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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falcon77
Eugene, OR
age: 41
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Krupa. Thanks for the response...I do appreciate it. Would you agree that we all have a visual representation of who we THINK we are in own minds? I'm simply asking...Is it an idealistic one? Authentic one? or is one that is maybe covered with years of pre-conditioned veils that hide it and may have to be broken through? I think that's the point of suffering..It cracks through those layers.
By the way, How's Abilene...I spent some time at Dyess. Many a night at the Cactus Moon 
[Edited 10/31/2007 11:05:53 PM]
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| 10/31/2007 10:15:46 PM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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wonderturtle
Overland Park, KS
age: 41
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I prefer the shortened version of the Serenity Prayer sometimes.. F*ck it..
No one's perfect..if we were..I think life would be rather boring..
What makes this life so 'fun' , is making it thru the daily grind..working to , as luvin so gracefully put it..to provide a place where i can shit shower and shave..shovel cat crap and relax..a roof over my head.
And if the heavens grace my presence with a lady..to share good times and bad..I'll not expect her to be a symbol of perfection at all times..nor place her on a pedestal...but keep her at my side as an equal.
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| 10/31/2007 10:20:18 PM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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tailpipes
Winfield, KS
age: 40
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Lady Peaches i dont know how cracked i am but you can crack me as much as you like Tailpipes
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| 10/31/2007 10:25:25 PM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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peachess
El Reno, OK
age: 40
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falcon, In response...Mine would have to be layers of years and veils..Vanity was quite the Sin in my step mom's eyes..I was never told I was pretty or anything and am still shocked when people seem to think I am or that I'm all that nice. I've always worried so much about what others think that this is the first time in my life. I've done things just for me. It's odd and empowering.
xoxoPeaches.
Anddd Still smiling like crazy!
[Edited 10/31/2007 10:44:46 PM]
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| 10/31/2007 11:13:09 PM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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falcon77
Eugene, OR
age: 41
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You are definitely beautiful peaches. Sounds like you now KNOW it and accept it. Yes, a relationship is actually a great gift, not because it makes us happy - They sometimes don't work out at all - but because it is the clearest mirror to find where we are at in the process. An open door to ourself you might say.
[Edited 10/31/2007 11:14:04 PM]
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| 11/1/2007 5:14:15 AM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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samwise
Bremerton, WA
age: 25
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Falcon, From what ive seen of your posts so far i can tell your a very thought out individual. These questions are more broad then perposed. For many people of a shallow nature im sure it can easyly be truth that when the faults start to show and their reality is not what they thought then they might just focus on the bad and wonder what the hell happened. No amount of explaining the situation would be able to console these people into change. The only way people of that mode of thinking to change their outlook would be some major introspective thought that im sorry to say i havent seen many people do honestly. I personally know my faults and accept them and have come to the conclusion that i am in no place to judge. Although i still do.
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| 11/1/2007 5:45:14 AM |
Idealized pictures and the thoughts that create them... |
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stellablue
Saint Louis, MO
age: 49 online now!
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Fantasy has it's place, reality is life...and will always get in the way! LOL
I have layers of crap, am learning to accept that won't be "fixed" by anything, or anyone. It's what I must learn to live with, and resolve to enjoy the gifts in spite of. All experiences good and bad have made the whole that I am.
I am responsible for my happiness, as I actively persue it I am attracting happy people.
I am content with life today, enjoying many new friends, living the moment. If the shit hits the fan later today, I can draw on the strength I'm storing and accept the help people want to give.
peachess...like you I've never thought much of myself. It's a whole new world to have someone tell me I'm hot, smart, sexy, beautiful...as an observation, not wanting something from me. Go figure...he knows my hurts and still likes me. Astoundingly beautiful.
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