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Forums: Relationships: Super Red Flags: Top five. Page: 1, 2
2/25/2009 2:13:27 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

realbrownsugga
Houston, TX
age: 38

 1) Bad communication.

2) No time.

3) Baggage

4) Boring to the tenth power.

5) Extream home-body.
2/25/2009 2:58:35 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

marqeye
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,055)
Kent, OH
age: 33

 Much to pretty!

Agree's with everything I say!

Has all the same interest!

Willing to travel 2000 miles to be with me!

Tell's me I'm the only one!
2/25/2009 3:16:26 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 42
Quote from realbrownsugga:
1) Bad communication.

2) No time.

3) Baggage

4) Boring to the tenth power.

5) Extream home-body.


1. Poor grammar and communication skills

2. Unable or unwilling to make time for us or understand that it's ok to be involved in other things besides her.

3. Inability to comprehend that as we all age our baggage gets bigger exponentially.

4. If you're bored then you're boring yourself. Ladies who can't be happy even if they had a golden arsehole.

5. Extreme partier.
2/25/2009 3:46:44 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

curves385
Saint Petersburg, FL
age: 38

 I really don't find most of those to be red flags. The only one is if they can't make time for you and that really isn't a flag all the time just they have a very busy life. What you find boring may not be to the next person. Some people are more of a homebody nothing wrong with that. Bad communication they may not like talking but would rather see you in person...happens. Please at our age we all have baggage to some degree it is how they deal with the baggage. Kids are not baggage!
2/25/2009 4:07:22 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

wileyguy
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,356)
Wilkes Barre, PA
age: 38
Quote from realbrownsugga:
1) Bad communication.

2) No time.

3) Baggage

4) Boring to the tenth power.

5) Extream home-body.

i would say a homebody is a personal/lifestyle choice.there certainly isnt anything wrong with it since millions can be described as so.its no more a choice than somebody who pursues extreme sports.....or any other extreme.
2/25/2009 7:02:32 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

wwilson
Austin, TX
age: 50
Quote from realbrownsugga:
1) Bad communication.

2) No time.

3) Baggage

4) Boring to the tenth power.

5) Extream home-body.



1. Not honest with me or themselves, is the number one flag for me.

2. Someone that b*tches about time I spend at work, working on my music or spending time visiting with my grown kids and grandson. Whoever I am dating is welcome to come with me and meet my kids and grandson as well. Just don't ask me to choose between my family and you, because I will choose my family every time. Sorry, that's just the way it is and that will not change.

3. People that have not learned from their past. Everyone has baggage if they have lived at all, its how they deal with it today that matters.

4. People that have to be entertained constantly. People that bore easily are generally not well adjusted or mature frankly and they will usually end up being a cheater.

5. People that have to go out partying all the time. I like someone that is as happy watching a movie sitting on the couch as they are going out on the town. Someone that has to be taken out for an expensive dinner and bar hopping every time we go out will make me start looking elsewhere, frankly.
2/25/2009 7:11:05 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

bassguy1966
Pepperell, MA
age: 42

 1. Communication is huge. If the conversation struggles at all from the beginning, it just isn't going to work.

2. If we are on our 2nd or 3rd date, and she hasn't offered to help pay....that tells me she is selfish.

3. Humor. If we do not think the same things are funny....it would get boring quick.

4. Doesn't look me in the eye. I trust nobody that can't do that.

5. Manners. If you are rude to others in any way....buh-bye.
2/25/2009 7:41:20 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

lilmissala1957
Over 1,000 Posts (1,527)
Hartselle, AL
age: 51

 1. Disrespectful to me and others around us.
2. Short tempered or childish tantrums.
3. Abusive in anyway.
4. Current drug use and alcohol abuse.
5. Bad hygiene.
2/25/2009 7:43:57 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  
usakindatheart
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,153)
Overton, TX
age: 48

 Quote from realbrownsugga:
1) Bad communication.

2) No time.

3) Baggage

4) Boring to the tenth power.

5) Extream home-body.

####

quote from george:
1. Poor grammar and communication skills

2. Unable or unwilling to make time for us or understand that it's ok to be involved in other things besides her.

3. Inability to comprehend that as we all age our baggage gets bigger exponentially.

4. If you're bored then you're boring yourself. Ladies who can't be happy even if they had a golden arsehole.

5. Extreme partier.

#######




[Edited 2/25/2009 7:44:43 AM PST]
2/25/2009 7:46:07 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

wolfi
Over 1,000 Posts (1,897)
Albuquerque, NM
age: 43

 1) Married
2) Has boyfriend(s)
3) STD
4) On drugs
5) Gold digger
2/25/2009 7:47:35 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

beanz991
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,022)
Houston, TX
age: 41

 1. Married
2. STD
3. Post OP
4. On parole
5. Tattoos read like a phone book.
2/25/2009 7:50:35 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

binderdundat
Metairie, LA
age: 47
Quote from realbrownsugga:
1) Bad communication.

2) No time.

3) Baggage

4) Boring to the tenth power.

5) Extream home-body.


You forgot to add... "For you"


There are homebodies out there that are looking for other homebodies. Doesn't make being a homebody a red flag... to them.

There are boring people out there that wouldn't know what to do if they found somebody with a little excitement. Doesn't make being boring a red flag... to them.

Everybody has baggage... even you OP.

Bad communication and no time happen to be two deal breakers for me as well, but I save the term "red flag" for things that aren't just a personal preference.... such as a tan line on his ring finger, left hand.



[Edited 2/25/2009 7:51:03 AM PST]
2/25/2009 7:54:03 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

nightwings
Gainesville, FL
age: 42

 1. Man parts
2. Looking for Green Card on first date
3. Any mention of bingo or sweating w/ the oldies
4. Lies for a living (criminal attorney, salesman, politician or economics professor)
5. Uses the phrase "my baby's daddy".
2/25/2009 8:11:18 AM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

evileddy
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,679)
Ottawa, ON
age: 35

 1) only has male friends
2) flirts with all genitals
3) thinks it's funny being seen as a slut
4) treats a server at a restaurant without respect
5) death grip on her cell phone
2/25/2009 12:28:28 PM Super Red Flags: Top five.  

bbw46reader
Frederick, MD
age: 46

 A 'red flag' is a signal of danger or a problem ahead. Not an obvious flaw or undesireable characteristic or 'dealbreaker' or personal preference/abhorrence or violations or your requirements/fantasies. It is a warning sign.


Some examples (geared toward women but same for female abusers IMO) from How to Spot an Abuser on Your First Date.

Imagine a first or second date. You can already tell if he is a would-be abuser. Here's how:

Perhaps the first telltale sign is the abuser's alloplastic defenses – his tendency to blame every mistake of his, every failure, or mishap on others, or on the world at large. Be tuned: does he assume personal responsibility? Does he admit his faults and miscalculations? Or does he keep blaming you, the cab driver, the waiter, the weather, the government, or fortune for his predicament?

Is he hypersensitive, picks up fights, feels constantly slighted, injured, and insulted? Does he rant incessantly? Does he treat animals and children impatiently or cruelly and does he express negative and aggressive emotions towards the weak, the poor, the needy, the sentimental, and the disabled? Does he confess to having a history of battering or violent offenses or behavior? Is his language vile and infused with expletives, threats, and hostility?

Next thing: is he too eager? Does he push you to marry him having dated you only twice? Is he planning on having children on your first date? Does he immediately cast you in the role of the love of his life? Is he pressing you for exclusivity, instant intimacy, almost rapes you and acts jealous when you as much as cast a glance at another male? Does he inform you that, once you get hitched, you should abandon your studies or resign your job (forgo your personal autonomy)?

Does he respect your boundaries and privacy? Does he ignore your wishes (for instance, by choosing from the menu or selecting a movie without as much as consulting you)? Does he disrespect your boundaries and treats you as an object or an instrument of gratification (materializes on your doorstep unexpectedly or calls you often prior to your date)? Does he go through your personal belongings while waiting for you to get ready? Does he text or phone you multiply and incessantly and insist to know where you are or where you have been at all times?

Does he control the situation and you compulsively? Does he insist to ride in his car, holds on to the car keys, the money, the theater tickets, and even your bag? Does he disapprove if you are away for too long (for instance when you go to the powder room)? Does he interrogate you when you return ("have you seen anyone interesting") – or make lewd "jokes" and remarks? Does he hint that, in future, you would need his permission to do things – even as innocuous as meeting a friend or visiting with your family? Does he insist on a "dress code"?

Does he act in a patronizing and condescending manner and criticizes you often? Does he emphasize your minutest faults (devalues you) even as he exaggerates your talents, traits, and skills (idealizes you)? Does he call you names, harasses, or ridicules you? Is he wildly unrealistic in his expectations from you, from himself, from the budding relationship, and from life in general?


Just saying.

Forums: Relationships: Super Red Flags: Top five. Page: 1, 2