| 3/2/2009 1:32:29 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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2bluiz
Calgary, AB
66, joined Feb. 2008
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We women often "male bash". Right, girls? (Oh but its so much fun!). In any case, thought you'd like to see that not only the human male falls asleep after sex....
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| 3/2/2009 1:39:54 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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2bluiz
Calgary, AB
66, joined Feb. 2008
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To continue...
I hope this thread will encourage the men out there to post. Pretend this is like a "He said, She said" forum. Let's have some fun with it.
   
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| 3/2/2009 2:55:46 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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That is so cute - when it's a horse....... SURELY this would never happen to PEOPLE???
Ok, once, maybe. Nothing more humiliating! First thought is: just HOW exciting am I? 
Next thought is: GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!! 
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| 3/2/2009 9:38:55 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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ahjusdah, where is your sense of humor?
We are having fun!
Relax - nothing personal.... unless....... 
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| 3/2/2009 11:04:36 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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sierratoo
Grande Prairie, AB
62, joined Dec. 2008
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That is so cute - when it's a horse....... SURELY this would never happen to PEOPLE???
Ok, once, maybe. Nothing more humiliating! First thought is: just HOW exciting am I?
Next thought is: GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!!
ah, forestrose so we know which position u like!
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| 3/2/2009 11:27:10 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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ah, forestrose so we know which position u like!
Well, Sierra, if I looked DOWN to see he had fallen asleep, I would have a heart attack thinking I had squished him!
Or at best, knocked the wind out of his sails....or is that his rudder.....
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| 3/3/2009 1:15:10 AM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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2bluiz
Calgary, AB
66, joined Feb. 2008
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Sorry that you didn't see the humour intended by the cartoon, ahjusdah. I sure hope everyone else will understand that this thread is just to have fun joking about the real or imagined differences between men & women.
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| 3/3/2009 7:48:32 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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2bluiz - those pictures! ain't that the truth!
The Differences Between Men and Women
Relationships:
A man does not call a relationship a relationship. It is "that time when me and Suzie was doing it on a semi-regular basis". When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her gf's, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.
A man has more trouble letting go. Six months after the breakup, 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday, he calls, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, I hate you, and you're a floozy. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us". This is the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once.
Sex:
Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Driving back to her place is part of the foreplay.
Maturity:
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies. This is why high school romances rarely work.
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| 3/3/2009 7:49:03 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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Bathrooms:
A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Magazines:
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazine also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.
Groceries:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. This will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.
Going out:
When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she will be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup...
Shoes:
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a wool suit, and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She wil carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under her desk. A man owns one pair of shoes.
Cats:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Mirrors:
Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface--mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters.
Garages:
Women use garages to park their cars and to store their lawnmowers. Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in garages, they watch TV in garages, and they build useless lopsided benches in garages.
Jewelry:
Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it. Any more than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.
Menopause:
When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of the changes varies. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction--he buys aviator glasses, a French cap, leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.
The Telephone:
Men see the telephone as a communications tool to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
Low Blows:
Let's say a man and a woman are watching a boxing match on television. One of the fighters is felled by a low blow. The woman says "Oh, gee, that must hurt." The man doubles over and actually feels pain.
Directions:
If a woman is out driving and finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there", and, "I know I'm in the neighborhood. I recognize that White Hen store".
Admitting Mistakes:
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted that he was wrong was Gen. George Custer.
Richard Gere:
Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.
Dressing up:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
Nudity in Movies:
Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man. The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.
David Letterman:
Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the Earth. Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.
Locker Rooms:
In the locker room, men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women. Women talk about one thing in the locker room--sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are graphic and technical, and never lie.
Laundry:
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do the laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth.
Weddings:
When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men talk about "the bachelor party".
Toys:
Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession wih toys. As they older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that serve c*cktails on command, video games, anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least six batteries to operate.
Mustaches:
Some men look good with mustaches. Those men are Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. There are no women who look good with mustaches.
Nicknames:
With the exception of female body-builders, who call each other names like "Ultimate Pecs" and "Big Turk", women eschew the use of nicknames. If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle get together for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle. But if Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut Brain and Useless.
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| 3/3/2009 9:28:03 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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2bluiz
Calgary, AB
66, joined Feb. 2008
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Gee, 'Rose, think you've covered it all with your last 2 posts. You know the old adage "opposites attract". Probably a good thing that it is that way or the human race would have died out centuries ago.
(Editted for my poor spelling. lol)
[Edited 3/3/2009 9:29:05 PM ]
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| 3/3/2009 9:40:50 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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2bluiz
Calgary, AB
66, joined Feb. 2008
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In the defence of the men. If you really think about it, some of these are valid. ( did I really admit that?!)
THE GUY'S RULES We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note... these are all numbered 1 on purpose!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
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| 3/3/2009 11:20:21 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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It took me a very long time  to 'get' that men think when you tell them about a problem, they have to solve it - that's all they know to do - they do not understand just listening while I flounder through my own thought processes out loud to reach my own conclusions. Sure glad I have gf's for that!
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| 3/3/2009 11:21:25 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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Sooooo, since I 'fessed up - has anyone else had their lover fall asleep, and under what circumstances?
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| 3/3/2009 11:52:52 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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sierratoo
Grande Prairie, AB
62, joined Dec. 2008
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...OR have you fallen asleep "on" a lover...
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| 3/3/2009 11:54:37 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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2bluiz
Calgary, AB
66, joined Feb. 2008
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Can't say it's happened to me. I heard somewhere that if you could keep the guy awake for certain length of time after intercourse (less than 2 min but forget the exact amt), then you have it made. Guess that means we're not allowed to luxuriate in the warm afterglow ... have to keep him awake instead if we want the cuddling.
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| 3/4/2009 10:14:29 AM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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...OR have you fallen asleep "on" a lover...
Nope, not me. Too high on the extra seratonin/endorphins stimulated during sex.
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| 3/9/2009 9:27:31 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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but please don't try to white wash us all in the same paint can. Some of us geunuinely care about whom we are with and would do anything not to have that happen. In most cases the women deserves much more than they get. Besides, I've had it happen to me where the wife fell asleep, not at the end of things, if you get my drift.
A
Don't worry - we don't really generalize about 'all men' when it is serious, just may sound like that when having fun.
So the wife fell asleep - kinda hurts the ego a bit doesn't it!
But then you can get even - don't wake her up next time....till it's over!
2bluiz: I like your list.
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| 3/10/2009 8:26:04 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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2bluiz
Calgary, AB
66, joined Feb. 2008
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 Hey there, ahjusdah, so nice to be getting a male's input. Sorry gals, but sometimes it's just good to hear a man's opinion for a change. And who can argue with ahjusdah when he makes a very appreciated comment like he did.
In most cases the women deserves much more than they get.
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| 3/10/2009 10:01:15 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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sierratoo
Grande Prairie, AB
62, joined Dec. 2008
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is it really an insult to "fall asleep afterwards"? Wouldn't it, couldn't it mean that a GREAT time was had by all, and now they are too pooped to pop....
Just being the devil's advocate.
and if you look at the horsey picture in detail, his tail is c*cked. It wouldn't be if he had passed out. All his muscles are taut - can you imagine what he would look like if he were human? drooool.
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| 3/11/2009 12:10:00 AM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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It never bothered me if 'he' falls asleep afterwards - that I think was the point of the cartoon though - AFTERWARDS, not DURING!
A 'he' falling asleep would mean I'm "gittin' some", so you won't hear a complaint out of me!
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| 3/11/2009 7:47:20 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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2bluiz
Calgary, AB
66, joined Feb. 2008
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is it really an insult to "fall asleep afterwards"? Wouldn't it, couldn't it mean that a GREAT time was had by all, and now they are too pooped to pop....
A VERY good point, Sierra. And don't I wish I could put it to the test. 
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| 3/11/2009 8:23:54 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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sierratoo
Grande Prairie, AB
62, joined Dec. 2008
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ah, SEX!
Isn't that where you check the F box or the M box?
It's just like air - never can get enough.
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| 3/12/2009 10:43:26 AM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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bushhunts
Calgary, AB
59, joined Oct. 2007
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It must be from all the effort put into it that males do this
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| 3/12/2009 11:04:54 AM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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sierratoo
Grande Prairie, AB
62, joined Dec. 2008
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ah, well, we are just poking fun at this subject...
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| 3/12/2009 11:57:41 AM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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2bluiz
Calgary, AB
66, joined Feb. 2008
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Gee, Sierra, if it were like air, I'd have been dead long ago! The only sex I see is what you said earlier about checking the M or F box. 
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| 3/12/2009 4:01:20 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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sierratoo
Grande Prairie, AB
62, joined Dec. 2008
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Guys have us believing that they "need" multiple wives..... Where does it say that we can't have multiple husbands? wouldn't that be nice!!!!
We would, however, need a maid to keep the house because we would be lacking in energy. I guess first tho is to get at least one partner trained.
Wonder what has happened to Cowboy? We haven't heard from him in a while.
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| 3/12/2009 7:04:50 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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Multiple? Well, like I don't feel enough like a failure not finding ONE, I need to fret about not finding 'several'. Yeah, well, count me out wanting THAT, Sierra!
I have heard some people argue that monogamy is not natural (probably cheaters that promote this thinking) but for me personally, I have never cheated, and never looked elsewhere when I have someone. I prefer the comfortable feeling of knowing someone and being known to them in a long term relationship and love over the feeling of new love.
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| 3/12/2009 7:08:58 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
64, joined Dec. 2007
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Wonder what has happened to Cowboy? We haven't heard from him in a while.
Didn't he post a while ago that he has met a woman and is pursuing that? I checked his profile and I think it may be a woman in the U.S.
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| 3/13/2009 12:02:58 AM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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sierratoo
Grande Prairie, AB
62, joined Dec. 2008
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Didn't he post a while ago that he has met a woman and is pursuing that? I checked his profile and I think it may be a woman in the U.S.
I knew he had a woman. Did not realize she was from the states....
Too bad.
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| 4/27/2009 11:40:40 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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rudracula
Clairmont, AB
59, joined Feb. 2008
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lighten up ahj it is meant to be funny & i think it was {horses}
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| 4/30/2009 5:39:22 PM |
In case you thought only men did this... |
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2bluiz
Calgary, AB
66, joined Feb. 2008
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Hi, rudracula! Feel free to 'Female Bash' to get back at us. As I said at the beginning, it's all in fun. (As long as we keep it so nothing hurtful is said)
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