Morrisville, NY

3/8/2009 6:57:43 PM
poeticchris Morrisville, NY 32, joined Sep. 2008	How do i start this, I've been single a little over a year now and dealt with a really bad break up with my fiance at the time. Since then I've tried the whole bar scene wich didn't work for me and I've even tried to have my brothers girlfriend set me up with dates, but all of her friends were taken. Everyone that I work with and know, can't seem to understand why I'm alone. And to be onest I've met up with people from the internet a few times and after the initial meeting, the messages and phone calls stop, even tho I didn't think things went bad at all. I mean i am very insecure about explaining my current situation to anyone since my break up, I lost a good job, I live back at home with my mom, and the job I have now...well...it just gets me by.I'm working to change all of this as we speak. And like i said, I always get the "I don't know why your still single" line from so many people, but for some reason I just seem to be good on paper(or computer screen) and not so much when we meet. I don't know if anyone will have any answers for this, I re-read this and it sounds more like a rant than a question. I am just confused as to why the girls I come across, can't seem to look past flaws, or the things that don't exactly match up with what they want, to see what could be even better underneath. and so i ask am i too damaged, or flawed,so to say, that most girls would simply pass me by? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
3/8/2009 7:01:40 PM	Morrisville, NY
ladyog Erlanger, KY 59, joined Feb. 2009 online now!	I think your to hard on yourself.. We all suffer setbacks in life..Believe me I know..Just keep the faith cause EVERYTHING happens for a purpose...When one door shuts another door opens....
3/8/2009 7:05:53 PM	Morrisville, NY
magtag East York, ON 48, joined Aug. 2007	No, I wouldn't say you're too damaged or flawed. Keep doing what you're doing to heal from the last relationship, go forward with your work situation and eventually get back on your feet in your own place. No hurry, the right lady will come along in due time. It could be tomorrow, a week or month from now or several months?? It's best for you that you get to a place where you feel good about yourself and you're happy, that will attract the right kind of ladies to you. I get the "I don't know why you're still single" from people too. My answer is that I am and I'm ok with it...I'm happy. I will no longer be single when the right person comes along...no biggie.
3/8/2009 7:06:46 PM	Morrisville, NY
canon55 Port Huron, MI 61, joined Apr. 2008	tell him everything will be ok mommy, you damn psyso kid go out there and snag you another woman and quit whinning
3/8/2009 7:11:54 PM	Morrisville, NY
lilmissala1957 Hartselle, AL 58, joined Dec. 2008	No you are not too damaged...just having it rough right now. Take a deep breath and let it out real slow. Take a look at what has happened and why it happened in your life. Don't lie to yourself...if you are in any way responsible then admit and accept. Then make changes you think would improve you for you not for anyone else. Don't give up and don't be so hard on yourself. Its all life. Take it one day at a time. Good luck!
3/8/2009 7:20:38 PM	Morrisville, NY
cocopuffs375 Suffern, NY 28, joined Mar. 2009	First step would be to forget looking so hard for a girlfriend..and get your life back in order....JMO..then start fresh once you don't have all this other stuff on your plate.
3/8/2009 7:58:31 PM	Morrisville, NY
nyguitar77 Dumfries, VA 37, joined Nov. 2008	Dude, we're all damaged in some way. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here! And for crying out loud...you live in a college town! Go get some hot college chicks to hang out with! That's what I did when I went to SUNY Morrisville to visit my best friend.
3/8/2009 10:04:45 PM	Morrisville, NY
single_mommy2 Binghamton, NY 31, joined Nov. 2008	I honestly am in the same place you are right now. I just had a rough four years and feel that I'm not good for anyone anymore, but honestly I think what it is, is maybe you are looking to hard or in all the wrong places. I totally believe that woman over all are b*tches, there are good ones out there, but definately come across more of those who aren't. When you are least expecting it love will find you and everything will be good again. So be patient and in the mean time just become comfortable with who you are. I know you've probably heard this a thousand times and will a thousand times more, but I truely have come to believe this. Good luck in life and be patient.
3/8/2009 10:12:59 PM	Morrisville, NY
binderdundat New Orleans, LA 53, joined Sep. 2008	I'm going to say no. But I'm also going to say, surely you can understand why women might think twice about getting involved with you... right? You say you are insecure telling them about your low paying job and living with mom. Ummmm... that comes off as, well... insecure! Why would a woman want to get involved with an insecure man? I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying it because that's your biggest problem. My advice would be to take a break from dating until you get your life situated. Stick around, post on the forums (great time killer!) but take your focus OFF finding a girlfriend and put it ON building your life. If you do that, you'll feel better about yourself and your situation and that will portray confidence to your potentials when you're ready to date again. There's nothing wrong with taking breaks. I wish more people would do it. Good luck!!
3/8/2009 10:13:03 PM	Morrisville, NY
122750again Sioux Falls, SD 64, joined Dec. 2008	Quote from nyguitar77: Dude, we're all damaged in some way. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here! And for crying out loud...you live in a college town! Go get some hot college chicks to hang out with! That's what I did when I went to SUNY Morrisville to visit my best friend.
3/8/2009 10:22:39 PM	Morrisville, NY
thunderstorms62 Endicott, NY 53, joined Feb. 2009	You say you are insecure telling them about your low paying job and living with mom. Ummmm... that comes off as, well... insecure! Why would a woman want to get involved with an insecure man? It would be wise to heed this sage advice lad. I'd also follow the advice to "take a break" while you fix what's ailing you and to jump back into the dating pond when you are ready. Good Luck!
3/9/2009 1:16:18 AM	Morrisville, NY
cher4898 Lapeer, MI 67, joined Feb. 2009	OK...GOT IT FIGURED OUT. Here goes...find a someone who's more damaged ..insecure...low income ....and just loves u for u.
3/9/2009 5:07:08 AM	Morrisville, NY
tryagaindj68 Evansville, IN 47, joined Aug. 2008	Lots of people are or will be having money troubles in this economy. Try not to take it personally. If you'll focus on doing things you enjoy and putting your life back in order, you'll be happier, and happy people are naturally attractive.
3/9/2009 5:17:04 AM	Morrisville, NY
bigman76 Suncook, NH 30, joined Mar. 2008	any "flaws" you have, are only intensified by you. Women are not attracted to the "woe is me" guy. Confidence will supersede (sp?) any "flaw" of yours. No one will like you, unless you like yourself. [Edited 3/9/2009 5:17:16 AM ]
3/9/2009 7:01:18 AM	Morrisville, NY
tar_to_the_heel Greensboro, NC 38, joined Mar. 2009	You should rob a bank, cuz if you have money, thats when you'll get girls........I mean that is what you are saying right? Or maybe you could go to the local trailer park and throw a dollar on the ground. OR......you can buck up and show a woman what you are worth
3/9/2009 8:47:11 AM	Morrisville, NY
evileddy Ottawa, ON 42, joined Jan. 2008	I get ya.. men are what they do.. while women are who they do.
3/9/2009 9:15:31 AM	Morrisville, NY
yourfriendbob Fayette, OH 60, joined Oct. 2008	Yes, you are too damaged. Now go sit in the corner and chew on cigarette butts and meditate on how your ex fiance' is even now swearing her undying love to whatever guy, girl, or farm animal is currently doing her. When that strikes you as even mildly funny, you can go date again...
3/9/2009 9:33:36 AM	Morrisville, NY
wolfi Albuquerque, NM 50, joined Jan. 2008	College didn't work? That sucks. It only gets harder from there. And your observation that all the good ones are taken isn't new, my friend..... There are TONS of us in exactly that boat. My first guess as to why all the girls are 'passing you by' is that they hate the fact that you have a sucky job and live with your mom. American women are NOT accepting or realistic in those areas.
3/9/2009 9:53:21 AM	Morrisville, NY
sacredcascade Riverview, MI 46, joined Feb. 2009	You seem to be artistically inclined the same as I, some women stereotype us as being weird, off beat the whole drug's sex and rock and roll thing, so some tend to keep their distance. Try meeting someone who has the same interest's and reinforce your self confidence, she's out there waiting for you, you just don't know it yet. Good luck.
3/9/2009 10:43:34 AM	Morrisville, NY
bassguy1966 Pepperell, MA 49, joined Feb. 2009	How "damaged" can one be at 26??? My God man, you are too young to be so worried about being damaged. Picked yourself up, and get away from the self pity game. If you know that you are an okay person, then go out and prove it. If that doesn't work, pay good attention to what yourfriendbob wrote
3/9/2009 12:50:14 PM	Morrisville, NY
navygirl20 Twining, MI 27, joined Mar. 2009	You just need to wait, be patient. God will bring you the right girl if you are patient and pray about it. My ex broke up with me after 2 1/2 years of dating. That hurt, I cried forever. I thought we were going to be together forever, but I guess sometimes it is not us, people just change. My point is, everyone goes through these things, or at least alot of people. Don't be so hard on yourself, and don't give up because you will find a great girl, who is going to love you for what is in your heart. God's Love, Jamie.
3/9/2009 7:30:16 PM	Morrisville, NY
eimi Jacksonville, FL 42, joined Jan. 2009	ditto...listen to Bob and Bassman, two very wise men. Bob you had me ROFLOL. Self Pity will not bring you a woman but confidence will bring you friends and love. Take time off of dating and enjoy who you are build your self esteem and try again. Good luck!
3/9/2009 7:38:50 PM	Morrisville, NY
genuinelady New York, NY 39, joined Aug. 2008	Hi! work on yourself as a person but be realistic to get real results. Build your self-esteem etc , when you start loving u more and feeling your confidence, others will see it too. Get ur ducks in a row too and stand tall and proud. Please, never let another rob u of your self worth "over 1 date"...pleaseeeeeee.!!! All the best!
3/9/2009 7:46:23 PM	Morrisville, NY
genuinelady New York, NY 39, joined Aug. 2008	I agree eimi... similar thoughts. seek advice from someone older as well chris.
3/10/2009 12:04:27 AM	Morrisville, NY
barbaraajo Reston, VA 58, joined Jul. 2008	Everyone is damaged to some degree...but the question is....are you ready for a relationship? Have you healed from the last???
3/10/2009 12:25:08 AM	Morrisville, NY
babygirl0409 Fayetteville, AR 43, joined Jan. 2009	Quote from ladyog: I think your to hard on yourself.. We all suffer setbacks in life..Believe me I know..Just keep the faith cause EVERYTHING happens for a purpose...When one door shuts another door opens.... <------ Still waiting on that other door to open!!! I think it may be locked from the other side!!
3/10/2009 12:31:49 AM	Morrisville, NY
wizmom_00 Galatia, IL 64, joined Feb. 2009	WOW...most of you men on this forum are cruel! Hate to tell you older ones, its not like it use to be out there. I have a 28 yr old son, and alllll his buddies to listen to sometimes. NO, he doesnt live at home (at present) but with the economy the way it is, there will be more returning home, trust me...maybe even mine! AND so what? Jobs are going down the tubes everyday...even a low paying job is better than none right now, so count yourself lucky. When ppl ask you why you arent dating, etc...just tell them "I just aint" and leave it to that. Dont go into the past relationship, that is old news and history. Work on building your self image up, do things to make yourself happy...and put a smile on your face if it hurts!! There have been "break ups" since the beginning of time...this wont be your last, trust me. Being positive and happy will draw more ppl to you. Thank GOD winter is almost over...summer is a good time to start your "rebirth" into the world. Dont be so hard on yourself...alot of girls your age are sooooo shallow any more. Just keep the faith, when you least expect it..."boom" there it is!!
3/10/2009 2:56:26 AM	Morrisville, NY
beverduster La Feria, TX 50, joined Apr. 2008	i bet a hundred dollars that this was the 1st time u were in love. the 1st love id the hardest is the hardest to get over. put her out of your mind and go on. after all you have a life to, whether she is with on the journey or not
3/10/2009 3:09:07 AM	Morrisville, NY
photodude111 Sedona, AZ 51, joined Jan. 2009	Dude you are not damage life happens. A year ago this month, I broke up with someone I was in a 4 year relationship with. We had a business together, i did marketing, sales, web site development and maintained 4 sites. I left with the clothes on my back and decided i would never let myself ever get into that situation. I went back to what I love to do photography and started doing more web design. In a year even wth a bad economy, I have manage to stay a float and keep my head above water. In the past year I have met and dealth with the playa's, gamers, people who should never have been allowed to be on this site. I got to a point where i gave up,let go and I met the most wonderful woman on here. It's never too late, new yorkers are tough, hang in there, the sun will come out tomorrow, if not there is always the next day. Take one day at a time, when thee time is right love, like or lust with come your way. Karl In Sedona
3/10/2009 3:10:10 AM	Morrisville, NY
th6231 Point Pleasant Beach, NJ 68, joined Jul. 2007	well it is certainly rough--but you are not alone.... millions have suffered through a break up-- what you have done is made this a personal issue---turned it all inside you and you won't let it out--you won't let it go. there are no guarantees in life--no one has to do anything--including stay with you or with anyone else---so the break up was done with all the freedom there is in this world. YOU have to realize this and move on---because you have two choices--stay self hurt and be miserable or move on and figure out how to make your life better. There is more to life than women--so trying hard to find one by any means possible is probably exhausting you to the point that YOU cannot think straight. You need to back down and relax and just live your days without 24 hours of this self pity and doubt. Sorry to say it--but it is a sign of immaturity---but you can change all this by altering your "self" and being more of a man with self respect and confidence. This is all up to you--set backs build goals--and you need to work at these new goals. And the goal is not just a woman--it is maturing so that women will find you attractive. I bet you need to work on your priorities in life--education, career, how you live--your finances---you have to be straight with yourself before you can even think of finding another woman. YOU ARE NOT DAMAGED--stop the pity party--you are a man--stand up and get moving. And stop this crap with your life hinging on finding a girl--is this the ONLY thing that matters to your friends??? get some new friends.!! YOU are 24 years old--ACT IT and get out and do something useful. [Edited 3/10/2009 3:12:14 AM ]
3/10/2009 7:44:26 PM	Morrisville, NY
poeticchris Morrisville, NY 32, joined Sep. 2008	hey thanks guys(and girls) for the advice, tough wisdom, wisecracks, and reality checks. I have decided to take the road of self and work on me. I know it's not an overnight process, but I'm changing my thought pattern and i see t making more and more sense. I'm taking the road to follow my music endeavors, wich has been one of the only fullfilling things i have done and one of the things that has actually imrpoved since my whole break up. It's also the only thing that seems to make me happy at the moment. again thanks guys!
3/10/2009 9:52:47 PM	Morrisville, NY
ligeia Knoxville, TN 33, joined Mar. 2009	it has been over two years sinse my ex fiance left. I know how you feel. What i finally had to come to understand was that I had prepared to spend the rest of my life with this person and it always throughs you for a loop when your big plans flop. Also, I realized that even though i cared deeply for him, it wasn't him i was missing, it was the lifestyle we had together. Work hard for the lifestyle you want to live, the rest will form around it. You are damaged right now, but it's up to you to fix it. insecurity does show, you know that, so you get guarded. people see the guards and insecurities. get back to you before trying to date.
3/10/2009 10:23:06 PM	Morrisville, NY
lead_man1 Lake Dallas, TX 53, joined Mar. 2009	So this is the world, and there are almost six billion people on it. When I was a kid, there were three.
3/10/2009 10:30:31 PM	Morrisville, NY
italianlady05 Omaha, NE 60, joined Jul. 2007	you've gotten some good advice from peeps on here...and nice to hear you're gonna try working on yourself first...the girl of you dreams will be there when you are healed and ready..and if not, then don't worry about it. Life doesn't revolve around having a mate.
3/10/2009 10:53:41 PM	Morrisville, NY
petunia54 Monticello, KY 61, joined Mar. 2009	Morrisville ? Go on over to the college , lots of sweet young girls there, I've met a few, came down to KY to work the horse sales.....

poeticchris - Morrisville, NY

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Am I too damaged to be in a relationship

Morrisville, NY