Death is only frightening if you have never died before....been there,done that,got a tee-shirt,....cant wait to go back....not scary like you would think...matter of fact I was surprised how much our conciseness/thought process/awareness is the same there as here.....

I don't know what I would do in that situation. I guess I need to ask my mom and dad what they want. I'm very close to my dad and when his time comes I hope it is painless. He will always be the strongest, smartest man on the planet to me and to see him lying in bed brain dead or whatever would kill me. Is that selfish of me? I've always said I hope I die before my dad and my grandmother (his mother). When they go you will have to dig a hole beside them because I'll be the next. I love those two people with every fiber of my being and cannot imagine my life without them.

Almost everyone has heard of a do not resuscitate (DNR) order; it's the order for healthcare providers not to perform CPR on a victim of cardiac arrest.

I went and renewed my drivers license the other day and the lady who gave me the eye test and made the new card noticed that I have a DNR on my license. She commented about it saying that it is the first time she has seen one on a drivers license and that she thought most people were afraid to make that decision instead of the doctors.

I figure it is my choice and would never want to place my family in the position have having to make it if I were unable. And I damn sure wouldn't want to be plugged into a machine for 5 years in a state of no life either.

What are your thoughts? Would you prefer to wait and let your family or the medical team make the decision?

I wish to endorse what Missy said. One should not sign a DNR order without being fully informed about the implications of this document. Read up on "living wills" and "durable powers of attorney".
There are circumstances under which a persons heart can stop without there being any serious cardiovascular desease. Doctors generally do not recommend DNR orders unless a person is very elderly, has seriously impaired cardiovascular function, and/or when the patient has a grave or terminal illness which has already seriously reduced the quality of a persons life.

Almost everyone has heard of a do not resuscitate (DNR) order; it's the order for healthcare providers not to perform CPR on a victim of cardiac arrest.

I went and renewed my drivers license the other day and the lady who gave me the eye test and made the new card noticed that I have a DNR on my license. She commented about it saying that it is the first time she has seen one on a drivers license and that she thought most people were afraid to make that decision instead of the doctors.

I figure it is my choice and would never want to place my family in the position have having to make it if I were unable. And I damn sure wouldn't want to be plugged into a machine for 5 years in a state of no life either.

What are your thoughts? Would you prefer to wait and let your family or the medical team make the decision?

bob, don't kid yourself.

don't ever open the can of worms that health care is, including hospitals, doctors, lawyers, nurses and family members......and the motivations/behavior of any or all of them.

you will find the smelliest, dirtiest, most selfish, manipulative and dishonest behavior imaginable.


this becomes heartbreakingly clear when the longstanding, oft-said AND WRITTEN DIRECTIVES are tossed out the window to serve the interests of those cited above-----not those of the dying person.



quote: "who are these kids following me around and calling me "mom?"

I'm a nurse. Sooooo......I guess that makes me one of the worms. Currently I work in orthopedics and med/surg in a small hospital. Previously I worked the majority of my hours in ER for a couple years. Have also done time in telemetry, ICU, and even a couple shifts in Peds. In only a handful years I've seen a great number of people die. I've assisted with more codes than I care to remember, and have performed CPR during many of them. I've seen 97 year old terminal patients have feeding tubes inserted through their abdomen at their family's request. I've seen 34 year old patients in a permanent vegetative state since their teens, who are full codes despite the fact that it would be nearly impossible to save them, simply because their families couldn't deal with the inevitable. I've seen families that believed their loved one was going to get up and go home to care for themselves, even though all bodily functions had ceased except for a pulse and the occasional breath.

I cannot speak for any facility but the ones I've worked at. But, I have never seen a living will, or durable power of attorney for healthcare or Do Not Resucitate order ignored for any reason. I have seen self serving family members who screamed and cursed at staff members if their relative was not allowed to die, even though they were a full code. I used to be related to an air traffic controller, and he perhaps had the only profession in which a life threatening incident was examined any closer than that of someone in medicine. Charting before and after a death is looked at with a fine tooth comb for anyone who's name appears upon it. It is beyond my imagining what possible gain any staff member would reap from the unnecessary death of another human being. That is not why we are in medicne, and it is not what we believe.

In my short time as a nurse, and as someone who has lost most of his loved ones, I believe I have learned a couple things.
1.We are all going to die.
2.Most of us will die in a medical facility.
3.A certain number of grieving people will feel that the medical facility failed them in some way in an effort to find a logical reason why their mom, or dad, or sibling, or spouse has been taken from them.
4.The staff humbly apologizes that we cannot change numbers 1-3. It hurts us too.