| 5/6/2009 3:15:21 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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2lmkr
Warsaw, IN
47, joined Apr. 2009
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I have been approached by my soon to be ex-wife to move back and help support the children and pay bills.
this is a woman who cheated on me and because of my martial arts actually hit me trying to provoke me.
the idea is we :
finish divorce
we live as roommates
we split cost 50/50
no dating within house compound for children
and we handle everything else like before
can anyone other than me tell me why this idea is F**KED in the head and only a complete idiot would see this as something else???
PLEASE : I SEEK OPINIONS
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| 5/6/2009 3:25:39 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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sweetpea1062
Peru, IN
53, joined Feb. 2009
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Doesn't sound like supporting your children is her real reason. Sounds like she is afraid of losing the security of being with a man to pay your bills. I think you would be crazy to fall for this. I know with my ex I would have never done that. And yes I am a woman. And no dating within the house. Please!!! How are you supposed to move on with your life. Sorry but run as fast as you can and tell her adiose!!! Good luck!!
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| 5/6/2009 3:31:07 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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awakeing
Walled Lake, MI
43, joined Mar. 2008
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Sounds just like my EX!
It about selfishness and CONTROL!
It's not about what's really best for the kids, you or even her!
Her cheating on you should have told you the truth about her core
values...she's a coward.
Just wants to have her cake and lifestyle too.
Guess what... real life don't work that way, you play you have to pay
the piper. She didn't take into account that she'd be hurting the
children in the long run when she wanted the fun of spreading her
legs for the other man so she needs to go live life with him.
You either take your kids yourself and get her out (she can go live
with the flee bag she cheated with) or you pay the support you were
ordered let her pay the price of daily life and anything the KIDS
need that she can't give them YOU give it to them directly.
Yes she's screwed in the head only a moraless screwball would
put such a plan on the table!
Your life is going to be so much better without an emotional vampire like
her in it.
What kind of example and "relationship" are you going to be teaching your kids?
This kind of CRAP is what makes a generational curse. The kids grow up to live
what they saw growing up. Do you want your kids to think it's the right thing to
do when their SO cheats on them?
THE KIDS ARE WATCHING YOU! What YOU teach them matters most of all!
Let the tramp pay the price of being a tramp.
[Edited 5/6/2009 3:32:32 PM ]
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| 5/6/2009 3:36:02 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
51, joined Mar. 2009
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I've known couples that have done this.
If she's offering to pay 50% of all the bills and you trust that she will, then how can you lose? I personally couldn't live in the same town as my ex (much less the same house), but it's all in how civil the divorce is/was.
[Edited 5/6/2009 3:38:08 PM ]
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| 5/6/2009 4:27:55 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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stl1
Saint Louis, MO
62, joined Jun. 2007
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RUN, do not walk away from this.
She can very easily set you up as causing injury to her (even if you didn't) or purposefully say things on the phone for you to overhear to enrage you or bring a date home to enrage you. If she is successful in provoking you (as she has already tried), you will be on the short end of that stick by getting arrested, possible jail or prison time, loss of visitation or custody of children, loss of place to live as well as a lot of your stuff because you won't be able to get into the house because of the restraining order, etc., etc.
She apparently does not want to reconcile with you as this would be the only possible way I would even consider something like this. You two would, at the very least, drive each other insane or one would move on before the other with the other trying to sabotage things. Get out, big guy, and move on.
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| 5/6/2009 4:30:43 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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boomerang_bill
Kelseyville, CA
31, joined Dec. 2008
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My advice is get the f**k out! Be a good dad to your kids but have as little contact with her as possible.
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| 5/6/2009 4:35:22 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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122750again
Sioux Falls, SD
65, joined Dec. 2008
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Please tell me you are NOT seriously considering this  Bad move if you do. You couldn't live together as Man and Wife, how the hell do you think Room Mates would work Bad Idea all the way around JMO 
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| 5/6/2009 4:44:27 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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hsprin
Savannah, MO
40, joined Jan. 2009
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I know that it must be hard to hear that and go through that and of course you don't want your children to do without or go through any kind of hardship.
However, what's the point of getting divorced if your going to do that? ANd she should have thought about that before she did what she did.
Please I hope and pray that you don't fall for it and support her. You just have to be strong and move on and don't let her use the kiddies againist you to make you feel sorry for her.
Good luck hun.
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| 5/6/2009 4:47:53 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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lotstdo
Henderson, NV
54, joined Apr. 2009
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file for custody, and forget the cheating b*tch
any questions? if so your right it is F#$%k in the head
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| 5/6/2009 4:49:06 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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mplsrabbit
Minneapolis, MN
60, joined Jul. 2008
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Run as fast as you can!! She just wants to use you for your money and control your life.
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| 5/6/2009 5:30:51 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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christy77
Round Lake, IL
39, joined Oct. 2008
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I agree run as fast as you can the other way. Take custody and forget about her
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| 5/6/2009 7:11:31 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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barbaraajo
Reston, VA
59, joined Jul. 2008
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that is crazy
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| 5/6/2009 7:18:11 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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blwebb1979
Atlanta, GA
37, joined Jan. 2009
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I guess I am a complete idiot! I live with my ex...She didn't cheat on me or anything crazy like that. And we were best friends before we were even together. And we are still best friends. It is a tricky thing with kids. But you have to do it for the right reasons. And you have to be able to have a functional relationship with her. If you will be in an argument more often than not...Not going to work. Kids will be worse off for it. My ex and I date other people. No one is allowed to be around our son. But, we still hang out more with each other than is probably normal. It works differently for everyone. You just have to do what you think is right. 
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| 5/6/2009 7:18:31 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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angelfire65
Mountain Home, AR
50, joined Apr. 2009
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You can just as easily support your children by paying a fair amount of child support on a regular basis. Sounds to me that she is trying to win you back. If you don't love her anymore and or can't forgive her then do what is right for you. You do not, for your children's sake, need to move back into a toxic enviroment (dear Lord how do you spell that?)and make everyone miserable. Move on, while still being there to support your kids.If that is what you want. Only you can decide what is best for everyone. Good luck.
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| 5/6/2009 7:43:47 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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iamalwaysjustme
Kansas City, MO
56, joined Apr. 2009
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Your right it is F**KED up don't do it , you will be miserable !!! My ex tried pulling this shit on me , because i was struggling financially . He told me I could move back into (once my home ) and I wouldn't have to pay any rent . I said to him then , sounds good but, what if i want to date someone , or bring them home , his reply was " NO BLEEP BLEEP way " , needless to say I had a good laugh out of that response , and went on with my struggling, and now it has been almost 11 years since my divorce , and still just my son and I live together.
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| 5/6/2009 8:13:29 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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mahoganyrush
Etobicoke, ON
51, joined May. 2009
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Im curious on why you're even thinking about it?
There is nothing to think about, you're there for your children plain and simple, that doesn't mean you have to live there and help the ex out.
She's trying to manipulate the situation in her favor, for some reason she's afraid or cannot function on her own.
Kick her to the curb, there is a reason why you are divorcing, what makes you think by living like roommates that things will will wonderful? think about this... what happens when you eventually meet that special person and you have to tell her " sorry i live with my ex and you cannot come over because its the arrangement we have"
The woman in question will kick you to the curb and be gone faster than barbecue skunk at a inbred hillbillies pot luck.
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| 5/6/2009 8:15:04 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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howudoinnn
Grantsburg, WI
45, joined Apr. 2009
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very stupid..cause you left for a reason i would think..y go backwards now...he's a ex for a reason..or do u like to punish urself and kids
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| 5/6/2009 8:50:28 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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usakindatheart
Overton, TX
55, joined Mar. 2008
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i personally could never do it.. in fact the idea of my x coming into my house makes
me vomit...
but, if you two can be friends and seriously live separate dating lives and keep the dates
away from the house i think it might work..
you would have to have a house that has two adult bedrooms and two adult bathrooms,
shelves labeled yours in the kitchen and hers...
maybe even two fridges one set up in the garage...
do your own laundry and have your own towels
do what it takes NOT to cross paths in the future...
you would have to seriously love your child, realize she isn't making it financially
and needs help.. and her realizing it would only be a business partner ship and nothing
more...
good luck
usa
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| 5/6/2009 9:50:23 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
68, joined Mar. 2008
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DON'T DO IT!!!! You are her cash cow and she needs cash. Move on with your life and find a woman who truly deserves your love.
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| 5/6/2009 9:59:14 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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mariner67
Birmingham, AL
48, joined Feb. 2009
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I have been approached by my soon to be ex-wife to move back and help support the children and pay bills.
this is a woman who cheated on me and because of my martial arts actually hit me trying to provoke me.
the idea is we :
finish divorce
we live as roommates
we split cost 50/50
no dating within house compound for children
and we handle everything else like before
can anyone other than me tell me why this idea is F**KED in the head and only a complete idiot would see this as something else???
PLEASE : I SEEK OPINIONS
Um, she can do that from an apartment. Sounds like she cannot make it on her own and she is looking for a haven to bring her life up to speed and still so what she must.
I'd be really WARY of this idea.
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| 5/7/2009 4:36:49 AM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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joshypoo9
Glendale, CA
44, joined Feb. 2009
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I have been approached by my soon to be ex-wife to move back and help support the children and pay bills.
this is a woman who cheated on me and because of my martial arts actually hit me trying to provoke me.
the idea is we :
finish divorce
we live as roommates
we split cost 50/50
no dating within house compound for children
and we handle everything else like before
can anyone other than me tell me why this idea is F**KED in the head and only a complete idiot would see this as something else???
PLEASE : I SEEK OPINIONS
Not to be a d*ck...but seriously: if you(or anyone else for that matter) decides to have children....PLEASE DO SO ONLY IF YOU CAN AFFORD TO TAKE CARE OF IT/THEM?
Jesus F**kin Christ I don't know how many folks can't seem to figure this out. You not only have to look at "current" climate...when deciding to have a kid...you also must look at 3=4=5+ years down the road. Are you going to be able tot ake care of your kid(s) then? if not...then dont have kids.
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| 5/7/2009 12:36:01 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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2lmkr
Warsaw, IN
47, joined Apr. 2009
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i wish to thank each and everyone of you for your sound advice
i always think things thru before i do anything
i was approached and even though
my first thoughts were f**k you b*tch...
i still wanted to see how everyone else viewed this
once again, thank you for your opinions...
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| 5/7/2009 12:53:30 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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soucan59
Redford, MI
56, joined Apr. 2009
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Hello, I tryed and went back, he had changed with the taste of women now,I left and never seen him since 1992.
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| 5/7/2009 2:00:40 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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alyssa4829
Yukon, OK
33, joined Apr. 2009
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Sorry I kinda see her point me and my ex had discussed the same idea but it was his idea not mine. I personally don't see how it could work if any of you have feelings left for each other. I thought about the idea only to not have to have my kid in and out of households. The last thing I wanted was my child to grow up in a broken home. I always had two parents growing up so if she feels the same as I did maybe that is why she presented it. But I still feel it wouldn't work and I obviously opted no to the suggestion.
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| 5/7/2009 4:43:28 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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tryagaindj68
Evansville, IN
47, joined Aug. 2008
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I can see a few reasons why you'd consider such a living arrangement, but I haven't known many divorced couples with the patience to make it work. Even if you two move back in together, it would still be a broken home, and the children would feel the tension. They would, however, get to spend time with both of you without being shuffled from one home to the other.
Give it a lot of thought first, and best wishes to you and your family,
Dana
[Edited 5/7/2009 4:44:05 PM ]
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| 5/8/2009 9:34:32 AM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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mahoganyrush
Etobicoke, ON
51, joined May. 2009
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Dude, I cant believe your seriously considering it?
what is there to think about ?
you're relationship is OVER, yes you have kids, the kids are paramount, i get that.
But living under the same roof as roommates? what does that say to the kids?
Kids are not stupid, dont treat them like idiots, they will see and feel the tension.
What happens one day and that day will come when she says, " hey look after the kids and im going out" and she stays out all night with her new booboo, what then?? how upset will you be or if you decide to go out , you meet a woman and she says stay over and you do, and you come home only to have the ex possibly break your balls?
Try looking at the big picture instead digital images
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| 5/8/2009 10:05:36 AM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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awakeing
Walled Lake, MI
43, joined Mar. 2008
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Dude, I cant believe your seriously considering it?
what is there to think about ?
you're relationship is OVER, yes you have kids, the kids are paramount, i get that.
But living under the same roof as roommates? what does that say to the kids?
Kids are not stupid, dont treat them like idiots, they will see and feel the tension.
What happens one day and that day will come when she says, " hey look after the kids and im going out" and she stays out all night with her new booboo, what then?? how upset will you be or if you decide to go out , you meet a woman and she says stay over and you do, and you come home only to have the ex possibly break your balls?
Try looking at the big picture instead digital images
Man's got a point, humorious way of putting it but great point
none the less.
Personal note: Sometimes learning "manspeak" can be fun.
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| 5/8/2009 11:33:15 AM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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steven030463
Newton Falls, OH
53, joined Nov. 2008
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never in my life will I ever move back with my ex. I take care of my stepdaughter all by myself the way I want. I don't give second chances to ex's not even being room mates . If I have to help her out, I do it long distance. My stepdaughter loves me know matter where I am.
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| 5/8/2009 11:35:18 AM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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2lmkr
Warsaw, IN
47, joined Apr. 2009
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by NO means am i going back to her
i found this to be interesting
its actually quite a unique scenario
so, as a fellow human being
i brought this discussion up just to see how others view this
when she approached me i told her calmy
to go f**k herself sideways...
im hoping if anyone reads this blog
and are possibly going thru something similar
this might help them...
once again, thank you for your opinions...
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| 5/8/2009 1:20:16 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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msbevzie
Oregon, OH
52, joined Aug. 2008
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WELL what IF your ex for years allows you to live with them...because YOU have no where else to go?
AND...has you pay nothing...as you are unemployed, you help with things around the home...
YOU do your thing they do theirs...
AND the kids you had TOGETHER are there...
The other couldn't handle all the work alone...
I cannot AGREE with anyone on their opinions because mine are mine, and that's what matters...
Maybe just MAYBE there are NO underlying motives...BUT only YOU know!!!
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| 5/8/2009 7:56:56 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
57, joined Nov. 2007
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| 5/8/2009 8:04:39 PM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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lltenort35
Memphis, TN
42, joined May. 2009
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I don't think that is a good idea...she had the opportunity to have you as the husband to help provide and she validate that by committing adultery...It's just something tricky about the whole thing. Where is that man she was cheating with let him play house...Don't limit yourself to her set of rules...life is to short moving with yours and continue to be a dad to your children.
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| 5/11/2009 3:14:51 AM |
Moving back with you EX to help support CHILDREN |
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joshypoo9
Glendale, CA
44, joined Feb. 2009
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I always crack up @ shit like this, why? if you're unhappy in any:way/shape/form w/your spouse:
THEN DONT HAVE ANY F**KING KIDS WITH THEM....got it genius?
I dont understand why so many folks don't "get" this?
if you cant see yourself wanting to spend the rest of your life w/someone...
DONT HAVE ANY F**KING KIDS WITH THEM....Got it?
[Edited 5/11/2009 3:16:58 AM ]
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