| 5/13/2006 5:05:40 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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dustin
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Okay, many posters here are either separated or divorced. So I'm curious as to why. A personal question to be sure, but it seems to me that marriages almost never end up working out. Are the odds really stacked against us? Or are failed relationships usually the result of poor decision making? Did you feel really confident going in that everything was going to be great and you were going to live happily ever after? Or did you have doubts initially? And those doubts turned out to actually be good instincts?
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| 5/13/2006 5:32:01 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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krazz
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Okay, I'll jump into the frying pan first. I had and wanted NO DOUBTS going into my first and only marriage. As evidenced by my wait until I was 34 years old. I was finally confident. The reason being, I was not going into something that I was not sure was going to last. Last a lifetime? I wanted it to. But settled just south of 20 years. There is no insurance here.
I think failed relationships (mine anyway) are due to a number of reasons. Stagnation & complacency come to mind. As time goes by your goals change. I was planning for the future to insure my daughter's education would continue and, we would have our nest egg. More and more my ex insisted on the present, and ultimately had no concept of prudent financial responsibility or future security (and didn't want to work). Yes, its only money, but you need the money in your twilight, or you become a burden on your children and society. I will not allow that situation.
The sex was fantastic, but relationships are built on trust & integrity, not sex. The trust & integrity waned. I can get laid anytime. But my partner lost ambition, and drive which caused low self esteem. My fault - as I made sure I could provide for my family, and I did, too well. I don't know if I will ever marry again, as the taste it has left, is very displeasing, thanks to the State of California's "no fault divorce."
Oh the hindsight thing? If you are going to hold out for the "I'm only going to do this once" thing..... Don't make the fatal flaw I did in my plan. I only was going to get married once, BUT I married a woman who had been divorced twice. Love IS blind! I totally overlooked that "in your face," rather large detail. I WILL learn from my mistake.
Krazz
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| 5/13/2006 5:44:57 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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chucky_t
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Someone doing some deep thinking tonight?
I am single because I wanted to live my life single. I wanted no commitments and wanted my freedom. I wanted to travel and live in different parts of the world. I had that for the most of my life. It would not have been fair to drag a family or wife around with me.
I had relationships, most I walked away from, a few walked away from me. The one time I really wanted to stay in a relationship. She was not ready. When she had doubts I did not handle things in the most diplomatic way. I think if I had been more understanding back then, things may have turned out different. I was ready and conviced it was for life, she wasn't. I could not understand her doubts and really gave her no chance to examine them. It was "Then don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out". She took me at my word. I have to say it was my stubborn streak that killed that relationship. I never gave her the time or opportunity to explore the fears and doubts she was feeling. That was over 25 years ago.
The rest of the time it was relationships. A large number of them are still friends to this day.
Now, in my later years, I don't have the need to have that freedom I once did. I feel I can finally devote the time and energy to a lifetime relationship. I am ready to finally share my experiences and life with someone.
So I am here and on a couple other sites looking to see if I might possiblely meet someone that would like to live a good comfortable life with the likes of me.
I hope that answered your question, at least about myself.
[Edited 5/13/2006 5:47:46 PM]
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| 5/13/2006 6:56:59 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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unslightlynorml
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The man I married decided over time that I couldn't possibly truly love him because I had my own identity and existence outside of our union. He said I was too popular, too cute, too outgoing, too whatever..........he said he needed someone to focus completely upon him and have no outside interests. I simply could or would not grant him complete servitude. I did, however, tell him that I would make more time for he and I to do things and enjoy one another. This was not good enough for him. He said he wanted a "sweeter" girl who did not always out-think him. I said fine and left, and he began a relationship (or actually continued a relationship) with a female who was in crisis because none of her bfs ever stayed when they found out she was pregnant. He got to be someone's hero and I got my freedom. To this day-many years later-he still tells me that he cannot believe he let me go. He tried many times afterward to get back together but I was done. he could not appreciate me as I was, so I could not ever trust his judgment again. Life is interesting, isn't it? Kat
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| 5/13/2006 7:01:45 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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krazz
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That rat-bastard!
We are all thankful for his insecurities!
And now..... WE have you.
It doesn't get any better than this!
Hugz!
Krazz - He who allows independent thinking and smothers burning embers only.
PS: Couldn't he just get a 3 foot tall robot with a flat head to put his beer on?
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| 5/15/2006 9:21:36 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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lustorlove
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all im gonna say is that he is an asshole that though the grass was greener on the other side ... i wonder if he got a mouth full yet?....lol
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| 5/15/2006 10:17:58 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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unslightlynorml
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He will get what he outright earned baby....lol Kat
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| 5/16/2006 7:22:55 AM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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lustorlove
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I am niether walking in the shadows or on glass either he can just keep on going I am not waiting for him to come back yea I will always love him but this girl's gotta move on.....xoxo much love to all not in a quear manner....lol
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| 5/16/2006 8:12:06 AM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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emtnancy50
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Ok now this one is going to be deep LOL
First one was 20 years (married at 18) to a male pig who thought he walked on water..and cheated on me. When he left I sent his Girl friend a thank you note..LOL
Second one was the love of my life..we had a great marriage until 2 years after we married his son in law drove into an oncoming logging truck and took his 3yo son (our grandson) with him..Well needless to say that ended a wonderful marriage. He turned to drinking with his buddies and spending all his time at our cabin..After 6 years of hoping things would change, feeling invisible and $$$ in counseling for me..I walked..Then he fell apart and finally got help but it was too late. I left him everything and started over on my own..We are good friends but the love is gone. I have never been happier than I am now with the exception, that I miss having a best friend and lover to build a life with..
Ok..stop..hands out kleenex...hehe THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.
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| 5/16/2006 8:31:50 AM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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krazz
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Things do happen for a reason. One man's loss is another man's gain!  Hugz, Nancy!
It sure feels good to have a serious moment here, on ocassion!
Okay....EVERYBODY INTO THE POOL!
LOL! Krazz the lifeguard (Oh, I know CPR)
[Edited 5/16/2006 8:32:06 AM]
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| 5/16/2006 8:47:06 AM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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emtnancy50
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And Krazz as an EMT I know CPR better than you...hmm maybe I can actually do something better than you?? or maybe not..LOL
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| 5/16/2006 8:52:29 AM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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krazz
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I'm a good dummy though.....
Oh nice, Krazz! That didn't come out right!
(well hopefully "they" will be kind)
Krazz
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| 5/16/2006 9:32:12 AM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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unslightlynorml
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You're my favorite dummy. LOL Kat
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| 5/16/2006 10:28:45 AM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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krazz
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But will you respect me in the morning?
Oh hell, forget that. Would you just kick me to the curb after your done with me?
LOL! Krazz
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| 5/16/2006 12:27:03 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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chucky_t
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And Krazz wanted me to teach him to be a slut?
That man don't need no teaching, he comes by it naturally...LOL
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| 5/16/2006 7:37:17 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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krazz
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 Slutbag here
King Krazz - King of ______
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| 5/17/2006 11:24:20 AM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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unslightlynorml
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Shoot cowboy, I don't respect you now. Why would you expect that to change just 'cause we played "warm the popsicle" ? Lol Kat
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| 5/17/2006 7:59:10 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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krazz
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Damn, and I was going to play, "Feed the Kitty!"
I get no respect! I want no respect! I am just not respectable! LOL!
Chief Slut - er um, I mean Chief Krazz-Popsicle Man
[Edited 5/17/2006 7:59:47 PM]
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| 5/17/2006 8:23:21 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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unslightlynorml
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Popsicle man.......lol Yeah, you DID melt a bit fast.........GUFFAW!!! Kat
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| 5/17/2006 9:21:34 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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krazz
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Sure, lick a man when he's down, Kat!!!!
(Now tell me THAT wasn't a great visual! ROFL!)
Hug ya.... Never slug ya!
Krazz
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| 5/18/2006 7:05:56 AM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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unslightlynorml
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C'monnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn......ya won't even slap me around a bit? Now, where's the fun in that? LOL Kat
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| 5/18/2006 4:44:48 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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krazz
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Nope a lover not a batterer? Oh wait, I could batter you up in say......chocolate pudding?
ROFL, Krazz
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| 5/18/2006 5:29:24 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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chucky_t
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cornmeal and flour with eggs and milk.
Makes a good batter also.
Man, that does sound interesting....LOL
Kat?...LOL
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| 5/18/2006 7:00:21 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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krazz
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I sent her to the store to get a dozen eggs....... WOMEN!
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| 5/18/2006 9:06:16 PM |
So Why Didn't It Work Out? |
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unslightlynorml
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I don't even know what ya'all will come up with for assault...lol
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