| 12/9/2007 11:05:02 PM |
Does anyone else feel like no matter how hard you try... |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 41
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Now how can any mom stay blue with a message like that? Love you to sweetie....
Now if we could just rodeo the boys in once in a while, 
The Christmas blues are gone....Life is good....
I get by with a little help from my friends...
And my family......
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| 12/10/2007 6:59:27 AM |
Does anyone else feel like no matter how hard you try... |
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boricualady
Henagar, AL
age: 40
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I so feel like this all the time. I am the live-in primary caretaker for my 89 year old grandmother who has Alzheimers\Dementia. When I took this job on in early January of this year I had NO idea what I was in for!! All those family members who patted me on the back and told me what a wonderful and selfless thing I was doing and if I "ever needed anything" to just call, have effectively bailed. Funny how relatives scatter like roaches whenever they smell an inconvenience.
I am on full disability with Fibromyalgia and degenerative disk disease (L-4 through L-6) and it is a strain for me some days to deal with the stress of dealing with someone who is effectively going insane right before my very eyes. Her paranoia, OCD behaviours, delusional thoughts, aggression and mean spiritedness are a huge drain on me because she has now begun to focus her tirades on me over the last 6 months. No longer am I her favorite grandchild like I had been all of her life. Now I am an annoyance, someone she looks at with pure hatred at times and speaks to like I am a piece of crap. With her dementia she has no clue that she needs the help and that I am here to care for her. Dementia patients have no idea they are losing their minds or that anything is wrong with them. Their reasoning capabilities diminish rapidly and their capacity for rational thought decreases with each passing day it seems.
Sometimes I just want to run screaming from this house. It's like she's going crazy and is trying to take me with her. I've had more people (including my doctors and people I know online on A\D caretaker lists) tell me they see the meltdown in me coming and that I MUST take time for myself before I suffer a nervous breakdown. As it is I am surely already suffering from what is commonly referred to as "caregiver burnout".
But it's not like I can just walk out the door whenever I want to and get a much needed break. She is not unlike having a toddler who is tall enough to reach all of the dangerous things in the house. I had found some respite in the guy I was dating briefly but now that it is over I feel a desperate need to find someone else who can take me away from all of this once a week so I can clear my head and catch my breath. But at the same time I don't want to lead anybody on so I am picky. It wouldn't be fair to simply pick someone at random to fulfill my needs when I was really just using them to keep me occupied until I found someone I really was attracted to\felt compatible with.
Sometimes I feel like I'm walking a tightrope balancing over my own sanity and my duty to my grandmother who was always there for me in my youth and who never failed to take me in when I ran away from my abusive mother. It's just so painful to see this disease rob her of her personality.
~Darlene~
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| 12/19/2007 12:24:51 PM |
Does anyone else feel like no matter how hard you try... |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 41
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Darlene,
Im so sorry for your pain, I work with brain injuries and worked a dementia unit for 4 months, (notice the past tense..), you are in a very difficult situation. Have you looked into respite care for yourself? Most states have elder care situations, its effectively daycare, as you said, its like taking care of a toddler who can reach all the dangerous stuff! Google "caregiver respite" with your states name, it should give you the name of an agency for your area. In Maine we have the area agency on aging, and they are there to help people in your situation. You definately qualify for help being the primary caregiver. Email me if you have questions!
Good luck!
Luvin
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| 12/19/2007 12:32:04 PM |
Does anyone else feel like no matter how hard you try... |
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writerman57
Jacksonville, FL
age: 57
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luvinlife you are suffering from a severe case of SKIN HUNGER. It is cured by a man taking you in his arms and hugging you and holding you for a while. Invite a guy over for a movie and let him wrap his arms around you for a while. We all need that human touch to make life tolerable.
This is the time of year when single people just hate it. You can call me on my radio show and talk about it. We talk about relationships among other things. You can hear it simulcast on your computer around the country on www.1460theriver.com m-f 12-2 eastern time and you can actually call in and talk by calling 904-854-1460
Lets talk and I promise that you will feel better.
And luvin it sounds also like you need a man to unwrap your package under the Christmas tree.
I too have worked with demented patients and it is tough
[Edited 12/19/2007 12:36:09 PM]
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| 12/19/2007 12:44:16 PM |
Does anyone else feel like no matter how hard you try... |
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nightowl64
Fallon, NV
age: 43
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Luvin; no I don't think asking for a little "me" time with a caring person is too much to ask. Actually I don't think it's getting what you deserve either. I think you deserve much more than that. I just looked at your profile, Biddeford Me. I grew up and lived in Sanford until I joined the Navy in 1982. Most of my family still live in Sanford & Alfred area.
Why did I choose to retire in Nevada? 
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| 12/25/2007 9:14:14 AM |
Does anyone else feel like no matter how hard you try... |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 41
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I dont know what you were thinking, all us good looking women are stuck here in Maine, all cold and with no one to unwrap us under the tree....
ah well, Merry Freaking Christmas anyways....
(Sorry, couldnt help it, refer to beginning of this thread)
Definate skin hunger. Definately.
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| 12/25/2007 9:17:09 AM |
Does anyone else feel like no matter how hard you try... |
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bucktail
Poynette, WI
age: 46
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nope thats not to much to ask
[Edited 12/25/2007 9:17:24 AM]
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| 12/25/2007 9:18:57 AM |
Does anyone else feel like no matter how hard you try... |
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thankuvets
Choctaw, OK
age: 39
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Luvin, I would unwrap, and then more.. LOL
Wow.... 
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| 12/25/2007 9:27:24 AM |
Does anyone else feel like no matter how hard you try... |
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randyeye
Cumberland, WI
age: 46
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I know how you feel- raising 2 kids by myself working 50-60hr a week and i seems that all the women in wisconsin live in the south or eastern part. That may sound a little trivial to you but thats 4-6 hrs away. It gets petty cold in northern wisconsin to and thats a long drive to snuggle. most of the women that have written me back have beem very nice (10%) but are not interested in a long distance relationship. Still trying but can be very hard to stay up beat.
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